A month or so after my fourteenth birthday, my mother sat down with her hands folded in her lap. The expression on her face was a mixture between worry and happiness and the way she began playing with her hands, I knew that there was something bothering her.
It had become something of a tradition to sit together once a week and talk about everything and anything that had happened in our lives. At the time I thought my life was miserable. School, friends and having a lot of problems with boys, I suppose I was a very difficult teenager.
But I do think my parents managed quite well.
I remember my father growing rather nervous when my mother cleared her throat a few times before looking us straight in the face. I think she wanted to laugh and cry at the same time when she exclaimed – in a very loud voice – that she was pregnant.
My father jumped up and gathered her up into his strong arms, twirling her around the room. Just like in the holo movies with happy ends. And me? Well, I just sat there, stunned.
Instead of being happy for my parents, the only thoughts going through my head were about having to make room for a baby. A crying, nagging, screaming little thing would most definitely take my place.
I was horrified.
"Marrim, sweetheart?" I heard my mother's angelic voice, almost only a whisper. I guess I was staring into space, a blank expression on my chubby face. She always got overly worried when I did that.
I smiled and got to my feet, hugging my mother and – embarrassing as it is today – pretended to be happy for her. I smiled and squealed with her and I squelched out a few tears.
I left my parents alone for the rest of the evening, laying on my bed in my room, listening to music. I heard them laugh through my closed door, heard a few hushed whispers and I knew they were kissing, no doubt.
They were having a baby. Another child. Another burden.
I turned up the volume to block out the cheerfulness from the other room.
All this went through my head as I took a walk away from the hospital where Ti'ana was still sleeping. Alaris and I had a very long talk about treatment methods she, as a Jedi, could offer.
We decided to start the next day and knowing Ti'ana was now in good hands, I needed some air.
I thought back to the day she was born. It had taken me months, watching as my mother's belly grew bigger and bigger, to finally except my parents' happiness and – only to a degree— being happy myself.
I remember, one day at school, instead of listening to our silly teacher ramble on about different alien cultures, I wrote a pro and con list of a sibling.
Today I believe I was afraid of change. Having a baby means a great deal of change and it was something I wasn't willing to accept at the time.
I was at home with a few friends when my father stormed in and had a frantic look on his face. He searched the entire apartment, mumbling something about looking for a bag.
That's when it clicked. I finally understood that this bundle of life was coming to live with us; I could teach it so many wonderful and great things; I could help raise this child if I wanted to. I could be the big sister I had always wanted.
My mother had packed a bag a few days before and my father and I hurried to the hospital just in time. I waited outside in the hall, pacing back and forth and suddenly very much ashamed at my behavior over the past months.
It took a long time until my Dad finally came to get me, a beaming grin on his unshaven face.
"It's a girl." He whispered as he showed me the way to my mother's hospital room.
The baby was wrapped up in a pink blanket and my mother held the little girl to her chest, smiling and talking to her in a low voice.
In all my life it was the first time I had seen my parents so very happy. And I wanted to be a part of it.
I greeted my little sister with a soft stroke across her rosy cheek and swore that I would always be there for her, no matter what.
I stopped my walk on a bridge, overlooking a small river with clear water. The weather was cool and gazing up to the sky it looked like it would rain soon.
I walked on, taking a deep breath and deciding to see what Devon was up to.
On the way, I hoped I wouldn't be annoying him. But being new in a place and knowing no one, I almost considered Devon to be a friend. I wonder what he thinks about me?
I touched the door buzzer with the palm of my hand and waited a minute or two. Hoping that he was home, I touched it again and instead of seeing Devon's handsome face, Asya stood in front of me.
Her long blond hair was braided into to ponytails at the sides of her head and she wore a short black dress; did she want to look like a school girl?
I hid my growing dislike towards her, "Am I interrupting?"
Asya shook her head and stepped aside to let me in, "We were about done anyway."
With her standing behind me, I rolled my eyes at that statement. "I was hoping to talk to Devon."
Asya shrugged and sat down on the sofa gracefully, making sure that her skirt was still in place, "He's not here. Went to the spaceport a while ago."
I arched an eyebrow and was honestly relieved when a talk, dark haired man walked towards me from the back. A towel was draped across his shoulders and his smiled as he shook my hand, "Hello." He said, his voice extraordinarily dark and musky.
All this time I had thought Asya and Devon were dating but I was utterly glad that I had been mistaken.
"Well, I'm sorry that I disturbed you." I said sweetly, "I'll just let you carry on with whatever it was you were doing." I waved and hurried out of the apartment, walking to the spaceport with a smile on my face.
The space port was deserted. Only a few people came my way and the guards that usually checked credentials were missing as well. Taking a quick look at my chrono, I realized that it was past midnight already.
I hadn't even realized how late it was.
Devon's ship was parked in its usual spot and the ramp was lowered when I arrived. I head a slight clinking sound and then a string of curses.
"Everything alright?" I called up the ramp and smiled when Devon showed himself, laying on his stomach with a hydro spanner in his hands.
"Oh. Hi there." He said and I think he was blushing. Just slightly. "What brings you here?" he asked, getting to his feet and walking down the ramp with booted feet.
I shrugged, "I needed some air. Ti'ana isn't doing too well."
"I'm sorry to hear that." He said, his tone soft.
I smiled and cleared my throat, wanting to change the subject for a little while. I felt the need to not have to worry at that moment. I just wanted to be me.
"Are you busy? I didn't want to disturb you."
Devon shook his head, "No. Just needed something to do." He beckoned for me to follow and I slowly walked into the interior of his ship, "It got a bit crowded at home."
I hid a smile, "I noticed. I stopped by your place before coming here."
"Ah." The expression on his face was unreadable, "So you've met Maxx. My sister's new play toy."
Sister? I had envisioned Asya to be a lot of things but I hadn't thought about the two of them being related. They seemed so different from one another.
"Do the two of you live together?"
Devon shook his head and sat down on a low bench opposite where I was standing. There was a crate I used as a seat, "She was only here to visit. But her visit has stretched into weeks." He leaned back against the bulkhead, closing his blue eyes for a moment, "She drives me insane sometimes."
"I hadn't expected her be your sister. You don't resemble each other at all."
Devon made a face, "Step sister. Long story." He waved his hand and smiled, "Tell me about Ti'ana." He said and I began to tell him about the Jedi Healer.
"Would you keep me informed?" he asked, "I…well, I'd hate see something happen to her."
I nodded, "Of course."
