A few days later, Dean called to make an announcement:
"Sam and Jess are engaged! I'm taking them out tomorrow to celebrate and I thought… I really want you to come too. I know you haven't met Jess, so I understand if you won't, but..."
"It's okay, Dean" Castiel smiled. He liked how happy Dean sounded. Sam was the center of his life and strangely, it didn't bother him. Maybe because it felt more like a parent-child relationship. Dean had good reasons to be proud, unlike him. But that was going to change and first, he was going to accept and be on his best behavior to impress Jess.
The next day at work was as boring as ever. He was very efficient but it was one of those times he wished he had trained for another trade.
Gabriel's teasing words about a restaurant were coming back to him but he brushed them aside. It would involve crowds, staff, having to mingle and socialize way too much, even as a cook. Plus, he would have to create an ambiance, a beautiful place where people would come to relax. And while he had finally learned what his personal taste was… he pictured his bedroom, now, overstuffed with mismatched trinkets... Even the daydream wasn't sustainable.
What he could hope for was one day to move in with someone, hopefully Dean, and keep on doing what he was doing now until he could retire. His thoughts were now taking a depressing turn, so he went to the coffee break room to text Dean.
'What kind of restaurant are we going to?'
'A bar'
Oh, of course, it made sense. Castiel was starting to appreciate bars, even though he still didn't drink. People weren't formal and there were often laughs in the background. He wondered if bars hired professional cooks.
Jess was very, very nice, in a way that Hannah had never been, making Castiel realize how undemanding he had been in his relationship. She was also quiet and looked at Sam as if he held the world. Sam was returning the look, smiling at random and loosing his foot in conversations. Dean teased him over it, then talked about their upcoming wedding. It made Jess frown so Castiel asked, confused:
"Is there a problem?"
She sighed and shook her head:
"No, nothing serious. It's just... It's so expensive. We're not going for fancy but even then, the cost of the food is way too much for us."
Dean opened his mouth but was silenced by Sam before he could speak up:
"No, Dean, you're not paying for it. We've discussed this. If we have to wait a little, so be it. It won't kill us."
Dean pouted but Castiel put his hand on his knee. Dean turned to him with a small smile. Sam coughed. Jess coughed. The two men turned their gaze away from each other.
Some wheels had starting turning in Cas' mind and he blurted his thoughts before he could stop himself:
"How about I cook for you?"
Every one looked at him in confusion.
"You mean you want to invite us for dinner? Sure, it would be great." Sam said with a wide smile.
Castiel blushed and tried to turn his foggy ideas into words:
"Well, no... I mean, yes, why not... I was talking about the catering."
Jess' face change in an instant, from pensive to fully glowing. Dean was frowning and Sam looked surprised. Castiel was wondering how on Earth he had ended saying that when Dean tugged at his hand:
"Excuse us for a minute, I have to talk to Cas."
They walked to the counter and sat on the stools. Dean was soft in his movements and rubbed his thumb on Cas' knuckles as he spoke:
"Castiel, honey, it's very generous of you but where is this coming from? Last time I checked, my boyfriend was very shy and, while wonderful at cooking, not a professional. I'm sure Cas and Jess will understand if you back out."
Cas frowned, hurt and bewildered:
"Is this how you intend to behave every time I have an idea, shut it down? Why wouldn't you support me? It's true that it was an impulse of the moment, but it also stems from an intense reflection over the last week. I am a good cook, passionate about it. And I can do hard work without problem. Plus, I don't remember you shushing Sam when he offered legal advice for free."
He was getting worked out, shouting at Dean when he knew he was mostly arguing with himself.
Dean was silent, his features locked in a careful expression and Castiel got angrier. He felt Dean was always the better one in the relationship. Even when he got mad himself, he offered solid reasons. Castiel needed to be taken seriously, as another adult, but he didn't know how to express it.
Then he saw his boyfriend's countenance fade. Dean was looking at the ground, biting his mouth. He took his hand away and mumbled:
"That's not what I meant… I just… I'm not babying you, I promise. I… I don't want you to feel like you have to deserve being a part of our family. I guess I don't know what goes on in that pretty head of yours, after all…"
"Oh…"
Castiel paused and examined his motives.
They were mostly self-centered he realized. Gabriel had planted a seed when talking about restaurants and part of him wanted to see if he could make it as a cook, but in a protected environment, with his real job still secure. Catering would be solitary, he would only answer to himself and the bride and groom.
"I guess I'm a protective son of a bitch. You're so beautiful, but you're strong in your own little way, stubborn as a mule."
Castiel shoved him gently, chuckling. Dean smiled and moved forward cautiously. Castiel met him in the middle with a discreet peck on the lips.
After talking with Sam and Jess, they decided to schedule a meeting after having checked ingredients' prices and menu ideas. Dean volunteered for those, which made Sam pout in a serious, pointed way.
"And that's the bitch face of the day." Dean said, getting up "Guess it's our cue to call it a night." He yawned a little too strongly and Cas blushed, knowing what he had in mind. Sam looked even less pleased while Jess hid her laugh behind a paper napkin.
It turned out Dean was really tired as well as aroused. Castiel was torn between taking care of him and fuck him. He chose a middle ground and blew him in the shower. Dean's legs turned to jelly and he almost fell down. Castiel lifted him and brought him to the bedroom. He fell asleep after many sweet kisses, whispering:
"You're even stronger than I thought. You make me so happy."
Castiel guessed he was happy too, but it was difficult to spot. He was still bitter and wrecked. Maybe it would be worse without Dean? He hoped that one day, he would look at him and feel that his all world was here.
