Disclaimer: we all know I don't own anything from FF7 or square-enix/soft. No characters. No locations. No vehicles. No Chocobo. All I own is myself, and I'm not even sure about that one.

Oh well, at least this story's mine. See, I can see the silver lining to every Cloud... :-p

Sorry, couldn't help that one :-p

Don't upset the Lifestream... I want to share the fun too! Wait for meeeeeeeeeee!


Part 1: Uncertain heart


Vincent watched the two figures disappear in the Forest. Cloud making fun of him? Hmm. Maybe there was some hope after all. It seemed like he was finally coming out of his self-pitying stupor or whatever it was.

Vincent could understand Cloud's feelings; he had suffered much the same fate as he had, by being a test subject to Hojo's wicked little experiments and losing people precious to him, to have his life and identity robbed from him by people completely devoid of any moral standards.

He too had undergone the same process of rejection, of defeat, the need to isolate himself from normal people. He had let himself be closed in a coffin by Hojo for almost thirty years to hide from the world, to hide from the truth. He had wallowed in self-pity when he could have stopped a lot of tragedies from happening. This was another of his many sins for which he would repent for until his death and maybe beyond. But contrarily to the gunman, Cloud had had support from friends who cared deeply about him. Maybe, he reflected, 'caring' would be like understating a fact in the case of some people.

The fool was a lucky kid.

It was just up to him to see what he had and grasp his chance… before it was too late and all he had left were more regrets and more sins. However, Vincent could not force this on the young man. It would be totally useless. He had to arrive to that conclusion on his own.

But the little girl had touched on something vital. Without a phone, he was basically cut off from the world and unable to contact or be contacted by anyone in case of emergency. He would have to remedy that soon. Information was vital and now was not the time to go back to a coffin-like isolation.

But each thing in its own time.

The tall gunman turned and went off in another direction. The Kadaj group could be anywhere right now. Their search for JENOVA had intensified and they had splintered into separate groups earlier in the week when they had gone to Midgar. Vincent had watched two of the brothers pick a fight with Cloud from afar, but he had been unable to do anything without blowing his cover. Things had not looked so good for Cloud; during the battle, he had seemed distracted and had left numerous openings that the brothers had quickly turned to their advantage. The ex-SOLDIER had been lucky that the brothers had only wanted to play with him, to test him. When they left, leaving a puzzled Cloud behind, Loz and Yazoo had gone to Midgar and Kadaj had taken another route; Vincent had decided to follow Kadaj to Healin.

The young man intrigued him. His manner was juvenile, even childish at moments, but he was the leader of the little band. Why him and not one of the others? Loz was obviously the physically strongest of the three and Yazoo… well, Yazoo was pretty much a mystery, a quietly scornful one at that.

There was something about Kadaj… and Vincent had an inkling what it might be. But to turn that hunch into certainty, he had to have proof. And up to now, there had only been vague impressions, nothing definite. Even at Healin, Vincent was sure something had happened between Kadaj and the wheelchair-bound Rufus Shinra. But what had it been? Vincent had been too far back to see or hear what was happening in the lounge of the building. Whatever had happened had been vital, and for nth time since his awakening, Vincent regretted the little gadgets that Turks regularly used to 'monitor' their prey.

'You once told me that a true Turk would never rely too much on gadgets; you also said that this was a rather 'old school' way of thinking. Nobody liked sophisticated gadgets more than you did, Veld. But you always made sure you had a plan B lined up just in case things went wrong…'

For some reason, he found himself thinking more and more of his early days as a Turk, more specially his days as Veld's pupil and partner. And thinking of him brought back even more memories, most of them painful. There was no chronological order… sometimes he would see flashes of his childhood, then right after that, memories of his last days as a Turk, the rare moments he had spent with his father in his adolescence… Two years had passed he had emerged from his sleep, but his recollections were as fuzzy as ever… bits and pieces of his past were still an enigma to him. He had spent countless hours in quiet, frustrated contemplation trying to find them in the maze that had become his mind.

A chill hand had stilled his heart as the disquieting prospect that his case was somehow related to Cloud's dawned on him… What if his memories were not his own, but the fabrication of a mind in the grasp of JENOVA?

No!

No. That would be impossible. Unlike Cloud, he had not been 'called' by JENOVA… had he? The gunman stilled in his tracks as his mind racked up every impression that had led him up North where the Turks had battled for part of JENOVA. That voice… could it had been JENOVA? He knew that JENOVA had mimetic capabilities, but could it mimic the voice of someone in it's host's own mind? JENOVA could implant thoughts and memories directly in the brain of the host… why would it go to lengths such as imitating someone to make him do something?

Vincent had never heard Cloud say as much; he had never been very forthcoming about such an aspect of his possession by JENOVA and Sephiroth. That was understandable.

A worried frown darkened his features. Could this be a new form of its powers, a hidden weapon that had gone undetected? Vincent could not be sure that he had not been injected with JENOVA cells. His ability to transform into… other beings was still a mystery; a mystery that could very well be explained if scrutinized under the JENOVA light…

He had to speak to Strife. And so, he had stopped shadowing Kadaj to go to Edge in the hopes of finding an answer to his questions. But by the time he had tracked down Cloud's home, he arrived too late.

"Cloud has already gone" said Tifa, "to the Ajit. He had something to do there."

"What?"

"He has gone to save the children."

"Children?"

"Yes. All of the children who have been known to be infected with Geostigma have disappeared; they have apparently gone off with a silver-haired man dressed in black, didn't you know? Denzel is with them… and maybe Marlene too. Will you help them?"

"I need to ask Cloud some questions."

"You will help them then?"

"I am not here to help anyone. All I need are answers."

"Please, Vincent, help us. We have fought together in the past, and we are friends, are we not? Vincent, I have a bad feeling about this; the man whom I fought was very strong… right now, I don't know if Cloud is strong enough to handle him, let alone three of them, if it is as you told me."

But when she looked at him, he had already gone.

He had to find Cloud, and soon. The three brothers were powerful and now that they had their complete collection of mastered materia, the situation had become critical. He had to go and find Cloud before the fool got killed. He alone had the answers he needed.

The way to Ajit was long and hard and the overcast night was not going to help him…

...Let me help you…

The crimson gunman suddenly felt something overcome him… it was a numbing feeling… a burst of energy… heightened senses… his heart… he was losing control… NO!

With a last wave wracking his body, Vincent found himself in one of his forms. But this time, he could travel faster than the wind; he felt a freedom of movement he had rarely experienced. The most interesting aspect of his new form was that he could control his body, totally. JENOVA….? Maybe, maybe not; he had no time for such riddles right now. He had to go get Strife out that mess.

"To the Ajit then"

And he was gone in a crimson blur.

-----------------------

Back at the bar, a lonely young woman was watching the cloudy night sky. It looked like a storm was brewing.

"Vincent…"

Tifa had hoped so much that the sombre gunman would change, but he had not. Neither had Cloud. Maybe it was useless for her to hope. Maybe she should give up, move on and try to forget. Emerging from her memories, a voice dear to her heart echoed once again in her mind, as it had often done in times when she had felt alone, helpless and dispirited.

"…Never give up as long as there is hope!…"

'But what am I to do here? I have hoped for two years… and still nothing. I wish you were here, you would have told me what to do. But of course, if you had been here… maybe I would not have had to hope at all… you would have been here'

Outside, the rain had begun falling again.


Author's Notes:

I'm all right... the shooting in downtown Montréal was bad though. I was in class at that time, at the other end of the city. it was like 9/11; i just could not believe that something like this would ever happen here: in our minds, guns and madmen belong to where there are wars. just another way to prove that reality is nothing more than what we choose to believe to be true.

Vincent is having his own doubts about his reality. after all, he doesn't know what exactly has been done to him (and neither do we) So having JENOVA cells would not be too much a stretch of the imagination, wouldn't it? especially with the voice he's been hearing...

That has him worried like hell; he already loses a part of control over himself when he transforms; what would happen if he lost it completely? would he become another 'clone'?

oh, and a little scene with Tifa! lol, i can already hear, oh, what did she mean by that last bit...? is it a vintif, a cloti, a desperate love triangle, etc? Patience... ;-)

and yes, the little monologue at the end... she is speaking to Aerith/s. remember the sewers on disc one, right after the, uh, episode with Don Corneo? That's what the Cetra said to Tifa when the latter expressed her fears and doubts.