Have I ever told you guys how awesome you are? No? Well you're all so epically AWESOME!

"She's getting fat." Beryl remarked, breaking the long silence that had enveloped the room while they both worked

"Who is?" Elsie asked, not looking up from her article, thinking Beryl had long since abandoned her accounts in favor of a cheap celebrity magazine

"Penny."

"Penny who?"

"Penny our cat."

Elsie looked up over her reading glasses to see Beryl staring at their fat tabby cat. They had found her under a bush when they first moved in, cold, wet and terribly thin. Beryl had wrapped her up in her scarf and suggested taking her to the nearest shelter but the cat had let out a pitiful meow and they both fell in love with her. She was taken home, fed and placed in a box in front of their electric heater and named Penny after Beryl's favorite Big Bang Theory character. Within the next two hours the cat had sent Elsie's pen bucket flying and scampered across her laptop keyboard creating a fair number of spelling mistakes in an otherwise completed article.

These days she was quite a large cat with yellow eyes and a gleaming coat. She had long since lost her kitten playfulness, preferring to spend her days sprawled out on the couch or sitting on the garden fence soaking up the sunshine.

"Its probably because she's lazy and gets too much food" Elsie said with a pointed look towards her flat mate. Beryl rolled her eyes

"She's a growing girl."

"Yes. She's growing side wards."

Beryl ignored her and hummed thoughtfully, moving to stroke the cat while Elsie turned her attention back to her computer.

"I think she's pregnant."

"You're joking" Elsie scoffed "we all know she's the only cat around here. The Bryant's dog chases off all the others."

"There's Charles Carson's cat. That big black one? With the squiffy tail." Beryl said returning Elsie's earlier pointed look.

"Uh oh" Elsie sighed "I know that look. I am not going over there to demand he pays kitty maintenance."

"Well it doesn't seem fair does it? His cat was the cause of the problem but we have to sort it out."

"I actually cannot believe I'm having this conversation with you."

"And its not as though you're still not talking. You made peace yesterday."

"If one can make peace in the ER."

"There. So go talk to him about his cat. I'll send you over with some muffins."

"Donuts would be more preferable."

Beryl gave her a strange look

"Muffins will have to do."

The next thing she knew, she was bundled up in her coat, a large tin of muffins in her arms and she was being pushed down the pathway. She tried not to inwardly cringe at what he was going to say when she rocked up on his doorstep and accused his cat of getting her cat pregnant. Beryl was going to be knitting her an enormous jumper to apologize for this one. She hovered at his door for a few minutes before plucking up the courage to knock on the door. He opened it wearing a bathrobe, with his hair curly and damp around his ears.

"Errrrmmm hi." She said, shifting from foot to foot "this is slightly awkward."

Slightly. It was one of the most awkward experiences of her life but she wasn't telling him that. The tips of his ears turned red and he tugged the robe closer around him.

"I'll just come back later" she offered, taking a step backwards

"No its fine. Come in and I'll, um, get dressed."

"Are you sure? Because it really would be no trouble to pop round later."

He opened the door wider and moved to allow her in. She hesitated slightly on the door step before walking in. She turned towards him as he closed the door, just in time to see Beryl duck down behind the shrubbery. Honestly, that woman.

"The sitting room is just through there." He said gesturing towards a door. "I'll be with you in a few moments."

She followed his directions and sat down to wait, clutching the tin of muffins on her lap. She glanced round the room, amused at how everything had its place. The room had a distinct scent of polish and the dark wooden furniture gleamed. She heard a loud droning noise coming from the direction of where she assumed his bedroom was. He couldn't possibly be blow drying his hair could he? Turns out he could because when he returned a short while later his hair was in its usual immaculate style. He set down the tea tray he was carrying on the coffee table and sat across from her somehow managing to look completely relaxed despite him wearing suit pants and a waist coat.

"How is your hand?" He asked.

"Bit sore but otherwise fine thanks. What about your nose?"

"Tender." He listed the tea pot and raised an eyebrow. She nodded and he started pouring.

"Judging by the tin you're clutching I think its safe to assume Beryl sent you over?" He asked shrewdly, after handing cup of tea over.

"She did." Elsie nodded

"And what does Her Highness want this time?"

"I think she wants to sue you for kitten maintenance. You see, she thinks Penny is pregnant and your cat is the only one who could be the father"

He shifted in his chair before saying delicately

"I don't own a cat."

"You don't own a cat?" She asked, convinced she was hearing him incorrectly. Beryl was dead. Thanks to her, she was now sitting in a mans sitting room, telling him her cat woes and he didn't even own a cat. "But what about the black one?"

"Oh he doesn't belong to me. He just likes to sit on my pathway. I can't get near him, even if I have food."

"I am going to kill Beryl." She muttered, resisting the urge to curl into a ball and hide.

"Beryl told you the cat was mine?" He asked, looking surprised. Elsie nodded, not quite meeting his eye

"That's odd. She came round last night after you had apparently gone to bed wanting to borrow a cup of sugar and asked about the cat. She brought round a tin of muffins this morning."

He gestured towards the side table and Elsie looked round to find there was indeed a tin of Beryl's muffins. In Elsie's mother's tin no less.

"The scheming, sly, secretive, interfering, nosy-"

"Yes that does sound like Beryl" he commented with an amused glint in his eye. "What is she up to now?"

"She is under the impression I should be asking you to marry me." She replied, still glaring at the tin and not really paying attention to what she was saying. He was silent for a long moment before answering

"I take it you're not?"

She looked round

"I'm afraid not. Although I may ask you to be an accomplice in the murder of the scheming muffin maker."

"Oh I couldn't possibly. The sight of blood makes my stomach heave." He gave her a very sexy half smile and she did her best not to blush.

"I should go" she said, standing up. He followed her to the door and opened it for her

"You better have these" Elsie, said handing him the tin of muffins. "Before Beryl accuses me of being rude. Also, then I can't pelt her with muffins."

"That would be a waste of muffins" he said seriously, accepting the tin from her. She laughed lightly

"I'm sure the cat would enjoy them."

"I'm sure she would but I'll enjoy them more. Oh and if you need help finding homes for the kittens, let me know. I know of a little girl who needs a pet."

"Thank you. That would be most appreciated." She smiled up at him. They both lingered on the doorstep, neither of them knowing how to say goodbye. A handshake would be far too formal, but just waving and walking away would seem almost rude. Eventually he opted for a one armed hug, wrapping his free arm around her shoulders and pulling her to him for a few seconds. She patted his arm as he withdrew before hurrying down the pathway. She paused a moment outside her own door to attempt to morph her own face into one of fury. She then opened the door and yelled

"BERYL!"

We all have that very embarrassing friend who hatches plans. My bff once pointed to a heart on the wall of our ice rink and asked my crush if he had drawn it for me. That resulted in a hissed argument and me hitting the barrier cause I wasn't looking where I was going.