BROKEN WINGS

CHAPTER 7: AWKWARD

"What do you mean he punched the doctor in the nose?" Eric asked as he set the table.

Tami shrugged as she chopped carrots. "I mean the man got too close and he punched him. I don't blame him. They were trying to stick a tube all the way down his nose and into his intestine."

Eric paused in what he was doing and stared at her. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah, I'm serious."

Eric furrowed his brow. "That must be a long tube. How do they aim that thing?"

"I don't know, hun, but I got J.D. to promise to try to eat something in exchange for them holding off on torturing him."

"Wow."

"Yeah. Wow."

Eric resumed setting the table. "Well, if he's well enough to be punching people, why can't he leave the hospital?"

Tami sighed and scraped the carrots off the cutting board and into a glass dish. "I don't know. They need to keep an eye on him and all. But he did eat a whole cup of applesauce so maybe that will change their minds." She added some water to the carrots, stuck the lid on, then placed the dish in the microwave and set it for a few minutes.

Eric shook his head. "This whole situation is just ridiculous."

"Don't tell J.D., but I tried to call his mom again after I left the hospital. She must have her phone off and it said her inbox was full so I couldn't leave a message. I think I'm gonna call the police and see if they'll tell me anything. I'm getting worried about her."

"Honey, that woman ain't worth wasting worry on."

"Even just for his sake. He deserves to know what's going on with her." She folded her arms over her chest while she waited for the carrots to cook.

"While I remember," Eric said. "Joyce from TARA or something like that left a message today."

Tami tucked her hair behind her ear as she headed for the answering machine. "TARE? That's the Texas Adoption Resource Exchange."

"I knew that."

Tami pressed play and listened to the message. Eric locked her gaze as the woman on the machine spoke, sounding bubbly as she informed them that there was an informational meeting that weekend that they were welcome to attend and that she would be faxing the forms she needed to fill out to her office the next morning.

Eric blinked. "How the hell are they so on top of things?"

"My word, I thought this was gonna be like the DMV."

Eric smirked. "Honey, kids are different than cars."

"Yeah, but with all the red tape..."

"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth," he said as he passed by, stopping to smooch her.

"Yeah?" She caught his belt loop and yanked him over for another kiss. He chuckled as he kissed her back, but just then Julie walked in.

"Hey Mom, can I –" She held up a hand to block her vision and cringed. "Never mind. I'll ask later." She all but ran down the hall. Tami laughed.


The next morning, Tami stopped by the hospital on her way to the Homecoming game. J.D. had somehow managed to negotiate to get a TV in his room and had it on the local station that was broadcasting the game. She smiled as she entered. "Look at you. You're all set up."

"If I yell, they said they'd take it away from me."

"I do think an old man is in the room next to yours. You might give him a heart attack."

J.D. smiled a little.

"Have you eaten anything today?"

He nodded. "Jell-o."

"That's good. Did it hurt your stomach."

"Yeah."

"Did you tell them that?"

"No way."

She sighed. "All right. Just be careful. I'll stop by again after the game, all right?"

He nodded. "Okay. Thank you."

"You're welcome, hun. Have fun."

He offered her another small smile as she slipped out. Something was tickling her side and she realized it was the phone in her purse. Pulling it out, she saw a number she didn't recognize and answered as she walked down the hall.

"Hello?"

"Mrs. Taylor, this is Detective Hertzer returning your call from last night."

"Oh, hi Detective."

"So you're applying to be a foster parent for J.D.?"

"Yeah, I'm taking my first class tomorrow." She stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for the ground floor.

"Excellent. It's always good when situations like this work out in the best interest of the child."

"Well what's up with his mom? Can you tell me anything about what's going on with Katie?"

"We've been in touch with NYPD and they checked her into the psychiatric ward the other day."

Tami's lips parted in shock. "They what?"

"It's standard procedure, even though it sounds dramatic. Apparently she had a nervous breakdown and was threatening to harm herself, so she's been deemed incapable of caring for her child for the time being."

"Oh my God, that poor woman..." The elevator doors opened and she stepped out and headed through the lobby.

"We'll be sure to notify you if there's any change. In the meantime, I've put priority on your application to get that processed as soon as possible. If you're attending the information meeting on Sunday, then I'll go ahead and schedule an in-home inspection for sometime this week, if that's all right with you?"

"Sure, that'd be great. I mean, any way that we can help out and speed up the process."

"Perfect."

She could hear him writing something down and squinted in the sunlight as she headed out to her car. "Any word on Joe McCoy?"

She thought she could hear Detective Hertzer sigh. "He took a polygraph test and passed with flying colors. That's not enough for CPS to drop their charges against him, but unless J.D. remembers what happened, his lawyers have a strong case to prove his innocence."

Tami furrowed her brow as she hunted for her keys in her purse. "Well, why can't they just wait to make a decision until J.D. is willing to make a statement?"

"Mr. McCoy is threatening to sue for being kept away from his son. He's attempting to prove to CPS that he's capable of taking care of J.D. once he's released from the hospital. CPS is more than willing to grant him that so long as he is innocent."

Tami unlocked her car and sat inside. "But you don't think he is."

"Polygraph tests are far from accurate. My partner and I are going to stop by to visit J.D. again on Monday. In the meantime, you could try to find out what he remembers and prepare him to make a statement."

Tami nodded, running a hand through her dirty blonde hair. "All right. I'll try but he swears he doesn't remember a thing."

"You're someone he trusts, Mrs. Taylor. He'd be more likely to talk to you than to my partner or me. Victims of domestic violence often don't want to talk to law enforcement in an attempt to protect their abuser. It's a vicious cycle."

"All right. I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you for your cooperation, Mrs. Taylor."

"You're welcome."

Detective Hertzer hung up and Tami followed suit before sighing, staring at the water residue on the windshield. The man was right, J.D. did trust her, but digging at an open wound, prying to try to make him remember could break that trust. He had made it clear that he didn't like or trust the detectives, and that he didn't know what to think about his dad. Starting the engine, she knew she'd be spending most of the game trying to think of how to tactfully bring the subject up when next she saw him.

As it turned out, the Homecoming game was so exciting that she didn't have much time to think about anything other than where the ball was. The Panthers were down three points from the start and it wasn't until the last few minutes that they had managed to regain some momentum and tie with the other team. Buddy Garrity was in the stands near her and the man started whooping and screaming when the Panthers scored another two points in the final minutes. She tried not to wince from his cries, and when she cast an amused look to Julie who was nearby with Matt, she caught a glimpse of none other than Joe McCoy watching her from the other side of the stands.

The amused expression faded from Tami's face as she felt a sliver of apprehension shiver up her spine. His expression was smug and arrogant as he locked her gaze then looked back out at the field, clapping, and Tami was struck with a chord of fear. All through the past week, she hadn't once paused to think how Joe would react if he knew she had been visiting his son when he couldn't. Once he found out that she could possibly be J.D.'s foster parent...

Joe McCoy wasn't a monster, at least not to social acquaintances who could do something for him. But if he really had nearly killed his own son, then he was worse than a monster. He was a lying, manipulating, abusive son of a gun. The idea that he could flip a switch and be pleasant to outsiders then turn around and be so horrible at home gave her the chills. Even if he hadn't attacked J.D., he had emotionally abused him for years, and the kid was reaching the age where he either had to break away and experience life on his own terms, or give in and forever be a prisoner of his father's doctrine.

Tami kept her eyes on Eric as the Panthers celebrated their win, then stole another glance at Joe. She felt a little sick to her stomach when she realized that she'd seen J.D. make the same expression Joe was making right now. He had his father's mouth. But the rest of his face didn't bear much resemblance to the older man. J.D. had yet to grow into his features and might look more like his father in time, but for the moment at least, he looked much more like his mother. Or rather, he looked much more like himself, which suited Tami just fine, for she hated the glimpses she saw of Joe in the boy's face.

"Mom. Mom?"

Tami looked away from Joe and found Julie looking at her with an amused expression. "Can we go?"

"Oh, yeah, sure, hun," Tami said, shaking her bangs out of her eyes as she stood up and grabbed her purse, making her way down the bleachers. Julie and Matt followed her and in a few minutes, they were waiting outside the locker room. The players began to exit and chat and receive congratulations from the waiting spectators. Tami tried not to make it obvious but glanced about for Joe McCoy, just in case. The tall man was nowhere to be seen, and she was startled when Eric touched her elbow, snapping her out of her manhunt. Maybe she had been obvious, after all.

"Hey, you okay?" he asked quietly.

She turned to him with a smile and hugged him. "Congratulations."

"Thank you. Everything all right?"

"Everything's fine, hun." She smooched him. "That was some game, huh?"

He chuckled.


When Tami returned to the hospital that afternoon, she went into the bathroom and closed herself in a stall. She did have to pee, but she also needed a moment to take a few steadying breaths to steel herself for what she was about to do. The last thing she wanted right now was to break J.D.'s trust in any way, and she was worried that by prying into his memories, she'd make him associate her with fear. She knew he already saw her as the bearer of bad news given what she had shared about his mother, but she wanted to try to change that. Once she exited the bathroom, she straightened her skirt and blouse and knocked on his door. She could hear him call for her to come in so she entered with a smile.

"Hey, how about those last five minutes, huh?" she asked as she stepped in.

J.D. looked as if he'd been pouting and didn't crack a smile. "I fell asleep at halftime. I missed the end."

"You're joking."

He shook his head mournfully.

Tami set down her purse and coat and took a seat in the chair. "They scored two points in the last few minutes and won."

"The Panthers?"

She nodded.

"Ugh," he leaned back against his pillows. "I wish I could've seen it."

"Well, you might've been cheering and woken up that old man."

"Yeah, and they might've kicked me out of the hospital and I'd be free."

Tami smiled a little. "How're you feeling?"

He shrugged and didn't meet her gaze, but he could see his reflection in the black TV screen and knew he looked pretty ragged. "How're you?"

Tami furrowed her brow a little. "I'm fine, thanks. How come?"

"You always ask me how I'm doing."

She smiled. "That's sweet, hun, but I'm not the one who just had major surgery."

He sighed and his eyes looked somewhat sad as he studied her face. His vulnerable expression wasn't making the task at hand any easier and she bit the inside of her lower lip.

J.D. furrowed his brow at the change in her demeanor. "What?"

"Sweetie, I need to ask you something."

"Okay."

"You have to promise to tell me the truth, all right?"

He nodded, his eyes now roving her face and she knew he was trying to anticipate what she was about to say.

"What do you remember about the night you were attacked?"

He immediately broke eye contact with her and looked at the wall across from him.

Tami sighed. "I know it's not something you want to think about, hun, but it has been long enough now that the detectives are gonna start bothering you again. If you're willing to tell me, I'll tell them so that you don't have to talk to them any more than to make a statement."

"How many times do I have to say that I don't remember?"

"Do you really not remember or do you just not want me to know the truth?"

He looked at her again and swallowed, and when he spoke his voice sounded hurt. "I would tell you if I remembered. You think I'm lying to you?"

She raised her brows. "No. But I know you're scared all the time. Being scared like that can make little things seem big."

"I'm not lying to you. I don't remember what happened."

She sighed and rubbed her face. "All right. I'm sorry."

His brows twitched as he watched her. "But there is one thing..."

"I'm listening."

"Well... I've remembered it for a while, but I never really understood that it was a memory from the same night."

Tami nodded. "I'm sure it's awful confusing."

He chewed on a corner of his lip, his eyes growing distant in thought before he spoke again. "Since my mom wasn't home, I went out to eat dinner after practice. I met Luke and a couple other guys at Denny's. My dad sucks at cooking... I left early because I have to be home by eight on school nights. And I had to park a few blocks away... so as I was walking back to my truck, I remember seeing white T-shirts on the other side of the road."

He looked to Tami.

"You know how white always stands out in the dark?"

She nodded, listening intently.

"I could hear them talking and realized they were speaking Spanglish, so I started walking faster because of what happened to last month to that kid."

"That was smart of you," Tami said, recalling all too well how a local fourteen-year-old boy had been walking home when he was stabbed to death by gang members because he dared to shout back to their taunts. In some parts of town, being young, white, and male after dark were crime enough Mexican gangs, so Tami couldn't blame J.D.'s parents for wanting him home by eight.

"They started shouting things at me but I just kept going and pretended I didn't hear them. Then traffic slowed and they started running across the street so I ran to my truck and got in before they made it there. I drove away and they were laughing. I remember coming home and telling my dad. He wanted to call the police but I told him not to. I didn't get a good look at any of them."

Tami nodded. "That's must've been scary."

He shrugged. "Yeah... "

She remembered Joe's statement about J.D. being attacked by a gang, and her guts twisted at the idea that he might have been right. "Do you think there's any chance they followed you home?"

"Not unless they knew where I lived. They were on foot."

"You're certain this was the same night you were hurt?"

He nodded, his voice soft. "And I remember the stars."

Tami furrowed her bow. "What do you mean?"
"I remember feeling very cold and watching my breath make smaller and smaller clouds until it didn't make any clouds at all. And I could see so many stars..." He smiled wistfully. "I used to have stars on my ceiling. Little glow in the dark ones. I used to love space."

Tami smiled. "What changed?"

He shook his head and the wistful expression faded. "I found out I was good at football, I guess."

"Just because you're good at one thing doesn't mean you should give up on the others."

He was quiet for several breaths. "When you put so much time and energy into something, you don't exactly have a lot of room left for anything else."

"Yeah, I suppose you're right," she said, realizing that football had dictated his existence for the past few years whether he wanted it to or not.

He sighed and looked at her tiredly. "That's all I remember. Except for... for pain, and feeling like I couldn't breathe, and drifting up into the stars..."

"As awful as I'm sure it was, you make it sound beautiful. You've got a unique way of looking at things."

His eyes didn't quite meet hers. "Oh..."

Tami realized he had no idea how to take a compliment. That was something they'd have to work on. "Don't you worry about trying to remember anything else, hun. I don't want you to feel pressured at all. That'll only make it worse."

He nodded. "But Tami, I –" He cut himself off at a quiet knock at the door. Madison entered, holding a stuffed panda bear. She looked surprised to see Tami and shifted her smile to greet both of them. "Hi."

"Hi, Maddy."

Tami tried not to stare. The delighted, awkward smiles they were giving each other were adorable. So was the way Madison seemed afraid to get any closer than a few feet within the door. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt anything," the girl began. "I could come back later."

"No, it's fine," J.D. said.

Tami stood up and grabbed her purse. "I was just on my way out, actually."

"You can stay," J.D. said, and Tami wondered if he honestly wanted to visit longer, was trying to be polite, or if he wanted her around as a buffer to deflect some of the nervousness that had suddenly entered the room. Julie had filled her in on the fact that the two had dated a year ago before they were forced to break up, but that they had remained friends. Yet the way they both looked ready to get red in the face at the drop of a hat told Tami that something more significant than friendship was blooming. And things would only get more awkward if she stuck around.

"I'll see you tomorrow, all right, hun?" she asked as she tugged on her coat.

J.D. nodded. "Yeah, sure. Tell the coach congratulations for me."

Tami nodded with a smile. "I sure will." She glanced to Madison as she shouldered her purse. "Did you catch the game?"

The girl's eyes got a little wider upon being addressed, and Tami remembered how she had lingered in the threshold of her office, afraid to come in. She had forgotten that as principal, she was all but horrifying to some students. "Oh, no, actually, I'm not that much of a football fan, but I'm learning."

Tami winked at her as she walked past. "We level-headed women must adapt to our surroundings to survive."

Madison gave her a full smile at the joke, her brown eyes crinkling up, adding warmth to the expression.

Tami glanced to J.D. as she opened the door. "Just give me a call if you need anything, all right?"

He nodded, and she noted how comically stiff he was. "Okay, thank you."

She gave him one last smile then slipped out. She was surprised by her reaction to Madison, for had it been a young woman of a different comport, she might have felt defensive of J.D. But something about Madison felt mature and genuine, goofy, even, and Tami knew she could trust her intentions. She knew there were some girls who would do anything they could to get a football player as their boyfriend to raise their own status, because she'd been one of those girls in high school herself. Thank goodness she had grown up and learned to earn her own respect. But Madison felt different and Tami was happy J.D. had someone else he could talk to about the world outside of football. Someone who didn't seem intent on using him when he was vulnerable.

Once inside her car, Tami couldn't help but laugh over the irony of thinking that she had changed so much since she was a teenager. She had married a football coach, after all.

Please, please leave reviews!

I'm trying to make this as authentic to the world of the show as I can, despite the fact that it's a different plot than the series, and welcome any suggestions for future scenes. Also, from what I remember of Madison in the show, she was pretty cliché, so I've tried to reinvent her as someone more realistic.