A/N: Sorry about the wait. It was longer than I wanted it to be. Last week was... not good for me. But this week is already considerably better, so that's definitely a good thing. :) And it's Blue Butterfly day, so hurray for that! Need something to do while you wait? Enjoy. :) And if you're reading this after that... enjoy anyway. :) Hopefully this is worth the wait, and hopefully the next wait will be shorter. :)
"Castle's not coming in today?" Ryan asked, joining Beckett in the break room about halfway through her shift.
"No, not today. He has some personal stuff he's dealing with. He'll be in tomorrow though," she said, hoping she wasn't lying.
"What's going on?" he asked with a frown. "Everything okay there?"
She'd tried to answer her friend's first question in a way that wouldn't prompt any more, but apparently something in her face had betrayed her. She couldn't help it. She hadn't stopped thinking about him and Alexis since⦠well, since Alexis had come to her apartment the first time, several days ago now. "It will be," she said flatly, and maybe a little too sharply.
"Okay," he said, taken aback. He took his coffee and returned to the bullpen. She stole a glance at her phone and briefly considered calling him or maybe Alexis, but thought better of it. She'd decided it would be better to leave them alone to work things out themselves, unless they asked for her help specifically. And she knew that Castle wouldn't do that, no more than she would if she were in his shoes. Alexis might, but only if something went horribly wrong, so she thought it would probably be better if her phone didn't ring.
For the rest of her shift, it didn't. She was more than a little distracted, but pretended not to be. Ryan pretended not to notice, probably hoping to avoid her snapping at him again, and Esposito shot her a few significant glances, which she studiously ignored. She knew better than to suspect that the partners hadn't been discussing what might've been going on behind her back, but she knew that they hadn't guessed what was really going on between her and with Castle, so she wasn't worried. Not even the most vivid imagination, not even Castle, could have guessed this.
Esposito caught her on her way to the elevator, as she'd expected that he would but hoped he wouldn't. "Yo, Beckett," he called, stopping her in her tracks.
She sighed and stopped walking, allowing him to catch up. "What's up, Espo?"
"I should be asking you that. What's going on?"
"What do you mean?" she asked, feigning ignorance.
"Don't give me that. You've been somewhere else all day. You and Castle have a fight or something?"
"Ahm," she let her eyelids slide closed for a fraction of a second too long as she tried to figure out what to tell her friend. "Sort of. Look, it's not really my business to tell."
He nodded, frowning. "Alright. Let me know if there's anything we can do, okay?"
She nodded. "Yeah." She met his eyes. "Thanks, Javi." She honestly wasn't sure whether she was thanking him for his offer or for not prying any more than he had. Maybe both. In either case, she was sure she meant it. She wished she could promise her friends that they'd know what was going on sooner or later, but she couldn't. For all she knew, Castle would want to keep all of this private forever, and if that was his decision, she would respect it. As she'd told Esposito, it wasn't her business to tell.
She got on the elevator as Esposito headed back toward the desks. In the past few days she'd become a compulsive cell phone checker, and she looked at it again as she took the elevator down to the lobby. No one had tried to contact her. She wasn't sure whether to be relieved or anxious.
She briefly considered going back to the Castles' instead of home to her own apartment, but thought better of it, reminding herself that she wasn't family and should give them their space. Anyway, it was starting to get late and she was tired. Her plan was to eat whatever leftovers were in her fridge for dinner, take a long, hot shower, and go to bed early in order to catch up on some much-needed sleep.
Something wasn't sitting quite right with her as she made her way to her door. She couldn't explain why, she just had an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. She chalked it up to worry about the Castles, and told herself that she had to stop thinking about them or she was going to drive herself crazy. They'd call if they needed her.
But the knot in her stomach that she'd been trying to ignore tightened when she opened her door and noticed a white envelope on the floor in the entryway, as though someone had slid it underneath. She didn't know what it was, but she couldn't shake the feeling that it wasn't good.
She picked up the envelope and studied it, frowning. "Detective Beckett" was written on the front in neat but slightly shaky handwriting. She bit her lip as she broke the seal, using her finger as a letter opener. Suddenly she was almost sure of who this had come from and what it contained, but she hoped with every fiber of her being that she was wrong.
Inside the envelope was a relatively short note composed of the same writing that was on the front. She read it.
Detective Beckett-
I want to thank you again for helping me these past few days. I wouldn't have been able to handle this without you. I'm sorry for disturbing your life, and I promise I'll get out of your hair now. I'm going to California for a little while. I'll be staying with my mom. I just have one more favor to ask you, if you don't mind. Please don't let my dad come after me. There are some things I need to figure out, and I can't do it with him there. And take care of him while I'm gone? He's not in a very good place right now, and I know my leaving won't help, but it's something I have to do. I'll only be gone for a few days, and I've already arranged to make up the schoolwork I'll miss. I promise never to ask you for anything else.
Thanks,
Alexis
"No," she murmured aloud as she finished the note. "No, no, no. Alexis, no." She immediately took her phone out of her pocket, located and called the teenager's number. It went straight to voicemail. "Dammit."
Although she'd just gotten home, she turned around and left again before she'd even taken off her coat. Apparently she was going to Castle's tonight after all.
She resisted the temptation to use her gumball to get there more quickly, telling herself that it wouldn't make that much of a difference; that either Alexis had already left or she hadn't. But she would've been lying if she'd said she paid any attention at all to speed limits. Her car had an NYPD license plate. No one was going to pull her over. She wove in and out of the city traffic with a kind of skill that could've come only from years of experience.
When she finally got to the door, she rang the bell three times in a row, willing Castle to answer it now. Although it took him under a minute to appear, it felt like an eternity.
"Beckett," he said when he saw her, frowning.
"Is she here?" she asked, skipping over all forms of introduction.
"Is who here?"
"Alexis," she snapped, having passed impatient several minutes ago. "Who do you think?"
"No, she went to the movies with one of her friends. Why?"
"The movies. Alexis? At nine o'clock on a school night?"
He eyed her suspiciously. "I'll admit it's a little out of character for her, but I figured it would be good for her to get her mind off of things." He studied her face and his frown deepened. "What?"
"She's not at the movies." She nodded in the direction from which she'd come, trying to get him to follow her out into the hallway. "Come on."
He made a face. "What? No, you're gonna have to give me more than that. What's going on?"
She sighed and stepped inside. He closed the door behind her as she took out the note that she'd folded carefully and slipped inside her pocket. She handed it to him. "I found this at my apartment when I got home from work."
She watched the color drain from his face as he read. "This is her handwriting," he confirmed as he handed it back to her, his hand trembling just enough for her to notice.
She fought the urge to roll her eyes. "I didn't think anyone else wrote it. Come on, let's go."
"Go where?"
"The airport. We might be able to catch her."
"How? We don't know what flight she's on, and they won't let us near the terminals without tickets."
"So we'll buy tickets. Come on." She tried to pull him to the door, but he stopped her.
"Wait. I thought you were supposed to stop me from going after her."
"No. That's what she asked me to do. I never agreed."
"But maybe she's right. Maybe this is something she has to do. She's eighteen, she can make her own decisions. Maybe I shouldn't stand in her way." He stared at the note she still held in her hands as if trying to make eye contact with it.
"Rick," she said, rousing him from his semi-trance. "Look at me."
He met her eyes, and she realized for the first time how weary he looked. His usual youthful glow was replaced by a grayish pallor. There were dark circles and lines around his eyes that she'd never noticed before, and his eyes themselves were dull and red-rimmed.
Her heart seemed to skip a beat, but she didn't let it show. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think I am. Alexis is your daughter, regardless of paternity, and you love her no matter what."
He nodded.
"Have you told her that?"
He nodded again. "I've tried."
"And she's being stubborn?"
"I guess a little."
"So now you show her." She started for the door again, but he still wasn't moving. "What?"
"That's not what cool dads do."
This time she didn't bother to stop herself from rolling her eyes. "Shut up. Why do you think she's going to California?"
"To see her mom, I imagine."
She shook her head. "I doubt it. She's pissed as hell at her mom right now. She might be staying with her, but I'd be willing to bet she's going to try and find her biological father."
She'd hoped he'd come to this conclusion on his own and she wouldn't have to say it, but it was clear that he hadn't. She wouldn't have thought it possible for him to look any more crestfallen, but this did it. "Well, I can't stop her from doing that either," he managed.
"Sure you can. What do you know about this guy? I'll tell you what. Nothing. I'm not gonna start in on worst case-scenarios, but I'm sure you can fill a few in for yourself. You know better than I do that if she wants to find this guy, she'll find him. I'm just saying, maybe Meredith didn't tell him he had a daughter for a reason."
His face contorted into a grimace, and she knew his writer's imagination had kicked into overdrive. She'd hoped to avoid making that happen, but Alexis's safety was her first priority, and she had to get her point across. "Okay," he sighed. "Let me get my coat."
A/N: Yeah, that's a cliffhanger. Hang in there. I'll try not to leave you on the ledge for too long. Reviews are awesome, and thanks for reading! :)
