Chapter 7

---BANG!---

Tom and I turned to the door, startled. Some guy had just bashed the door open with a, was that a tripod? Who the heck is this?

"Whew. That was close. Hi! You must be Hope. Heya Tom."

"Hi Kwest, I was wondering if you guys would make it," Tom looked over the strangerwithacamera's shoulder, "Hey Jamie."

I looked from Tom to Jamie to strangerwithacamerea, "Did you say quest, as in I am a knight of the round table and I am going to save a damsel quest?"

Strangerwithacamera laughed, "Not quite. My name is Kwest, K-W-E-S-T. My last name is West and my first name starts with a K. It's nice to finally meet you."

"Um, nice to meet you too. Why don't people just call you by your first name? What is your first name? Why do you have a camera, Mr. K. West?"

"You're right Jamie, she is talkative. I have a camera to take your picture and my first name is a closely guarded secret. I'll never tell."

"Kendall? Keith? Karl? I give up. Why are you going to take a picture of me?"

Jamie pops in front of Kwest with a big grin, "For I.D. – we are going to create Hope's identity and get you out of here!"

"Huh?"

"I am going to get you a driver's license, health card and birth certificate. We just have to get you a last name and we are good to go. Where do you want to be from? I suggest Montreal, the drinking age there is 18 you know? No worries though, we'll make you 19 or 20 – that way you can drink anywhere in Canada." Kwest was going a mile a minute, clearly very excited about the prospect of some subterfuge. Great, now I was going to be a looney criminal who can get served. Actually, that didn't sound too bad.

"So, Hope" Jamie cut in, "We have it all figured out. One of the guys in the band I manage will turn up as your long lost cousin to claim you. It couldn't be Tom or I because we are too well know around here. His name is Vincent, but don't call him that – whatever you do. Call him Spied." He shook his head, "Don't ask.

"Jamie, are you sure this is a good idea. It all makes sense except for the Speiderman part. It is Speiderman after all." Uh oh, Tom looked concerned. What was wrong with this Speiderman guy?

"Spied will be fine. We have a simple story ready and the guys are rehearsing it with him right now. It will be fine, Tom. Now Hope – what do you want your last name to be?" Jamie was calm. Too calm?

"Wait a minute Jamie, slow down. I don't have anywhere to go – or anything to do. I am not going home with this Speiderman guy, he sounds hinky. I don't even have clothes to wear for the photo – no one wears a bathrobe in I.D. pictures, right?

"Already thought of that. I got Portia, the wardrobe genius at G-Major to put together a few outfits – can't have you wearing the same thing in each I.D. and you'll come home with me. I already have the spare room at my apartment set up for you. Ta da! Problem solved, no looney bin for Hope."

FLASH

"What the?!?!"

FLASH

"Kwest!!"

FLASH

"I can't see! What the hell?!?!?"

FLASH

"Stop it Kwest!"

FLASH

There was a scuffle and some grunts. My eyes finally cleared enough to make out Tom and Jamie lying on top of Kwest in a heap on the floor. Hmmm, if the situation weren't so funny it might be kinda kinky.

"Kwest!" Jamie was trying unsuccessfully to untangle himself from the man-limb scramble on the floor, "What the heck were you doing?"

"Nothing Jamie, just some practice shots," Kwest explained as he picked himself up off the floor, "I got some good candids! Here, let me show this one of Tommy, it's great! He's – OUF!"

Kwest was down again, Tom tackled him just as he was about to show the camera to Jamie. Fighting again so soon? This will never do. I decided that they needed a strong disciplinarian figure to straighten them out. They needed a leader, someone they could look up to. They needed me.

"Boys," I said loudly clapping my hands, "That will be quite enough thank you." I said in my best stern teacher voice, "Tom, please give the camera back to Kwest. Thank you. Jamie, would you please up pick all the clothes? Thank you. Kwest, please wipe that shit-eating grin off your face. Thank you. Now that you are all calmed down we finish discussing the plan. Hope needs some more information."

"What information do you need?" I could barely hear Jamie, Portia must have sent a lot of clothes, he was practically buried, "It's all planned we just need your last name."

"Okay, let me get this straight. Kwest is going to get me a bunch of fake I.D's; you have some spaz coming to say he is my cousin and spring me. Then, I'll live with Jamie in the spare room. Right?"

"Yes!" Three voices answered in unison.

"Fine, but what about Dr. Vogel, I still have to see him. He's my therapist for goodness sake. And what about money and - "

"I met with Dr. Vogel today, Hope." Jamie sounded almost contrite. What did he say to Dr. Vogel I wonder?

"I explained the situation as best I could – leaving out the illegal stuff. He was . . . sympathetic. Hope, he doesn't want you to go to a home for special people either. He has, with reservations, agreed to go along with this. For now. You know, he's pretty brutal – he kept me in his office for hours grilling me. He even took copies of all my I.D. and my photo. I think I have him convinced that I am doing this all in your best interest – but he was still being damn careful. As for money – we'll take care of you. When you get your I.D. you'll be able to get a Social Insurance Number and that will allow you to get a job anywhere – and Tom is great at faking a resume. We can be your references!"

"Wow. You really do seem to have it all figured out, huh? I guess it's settled then. Better than the bin anyway. . . Oh what the hell, what have I got to loose?"

"Yeah! Let's have a fashion show!" Kwest yelled, punching his arm in the air. Oh lordy, I'm not sure what to think of that Kwest…

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An hour later, and many, many outfits later Kwest finally had his pictures. I was surprised about how vocal the guys were with the clothes. I tried on a green halter top with a sparkly star and low-rise jeans first. The top was way too big but the jeans felt good. When I came out the bathroom Kwest whistled, Jamie grinned and Tom shook his head.

Kwest: "Nice! Yowza!"

Jamie: "You look pretty Hope."

Tom: "Nope. The top is too big and the jeans don't do your butt justice."

My butt?!?!

Jamie: You don't see the butt in the pictures. Turn around Hope, let me see."

Me: "You guys are gross, I'm changing"

That was how it went, Jamie and Tom critiquing the outfits and Kwest acting like a construction worked that hadn't seen a female in 10 years. It was actually kind of nice for my ego in a slightly demeaning way. I know he meant well.

When I finally tried on an outfit they all approved of, the picture was taken. Rinse. Repeat. Thank goodness we only needed photos for the License and Health Card!

When the pictures were done, Kwest packed up, grabbed the clothes (darn, Portia needed them back!) and kissed my hand, "It was a pleasure to meet you Hope."

"It was very nice to meet you too Kwest. Thank you for helping me out."

"WAIT!" Jamie jumped in front of the door, "We still don't have a last name for Hope!"

Oh no, here we go again I thought and then inspiration struck. Ah! It was so obvious, "Jamie – what do you think about Andrews? I feel like you are my family anyway, what better name could there be?"

Jamie smiled and nodded, "Hope Andrews. Long lost sister of James Andrews. Perfect."

"It's settled then," Kwest made his way towards the door again while Jamie and I shared a moment. Just as he was about to leave, he turned back, "Hope, you do realize that now your initials will be HA?"