Disclaimer: I do not own House of Anubis or any characters related to it.
Patricia
"Wait, Ryan James asked you on a date?" Joy asked over the phone two days after the wedding. She was packing for her honeymoon with Jerome, and somehow I'd failed to tell her on the actual wedding day that Jerome's friend has asked me on a date.
"Yeah…," I said, slumping on to my sofa, a bowl of cereal in hand. It was 4pm. "Maybe I should cancel. It was 10pm and I was really tired…"
"What?" She exclaimed. "No! Patricia, you can't cancel!"
"Why not?"
"Because it's a good thing, going on a date with someone new. It means you're moving on."
"Yeah, I see what you mean," I put a spoonful of cereal in my mouth. "But I don't know if I'm ready."
"Okay, Patricia, I don't mean to sound un-supportive, but it's been a long time now. Try moving on."
"I'm trying."
"Good. I'm proud of you. Can I call you back later after your date with Ryan? Jerome is panicking about packing."
Laughing, I nodded, even though she couldn't see me. "Sure."
"Can't wait to hear how it goes."
"Six hours and counting until he comes. Talk to you later. Bye!"
Eddie
Why didn't I talk to her?
Why didn't I go over after Joy had her photo and ask her how she'd been? – How her life was now?
Why was I such an idiot?
As she walked towards me, my stomach had flipped and I'd had to take a deep breath to try and conceal my smile. At first I didn't know if she was coming over to talk to me or just to get a drink; but when she'd said my name, I knew she wanted to speak to me. She'd come over and said hi… was I dreaming?
When I'd seen her walk down that aisle before Joy, looking all gorgeous in that deep red colour with her hair so natural, she looked right through me. She didn't even smile, or wave, or do anything—she just looked away. And that killed me. I thought that meant that she'd moved on and she wasn't interested anymore.
But then she'd walked over at the wedding reception, a tiny little smile on her face, and a little spring of hope arose inside of me. She wanted to talk to me. She chose to come over and say hi.
It sounds like a simple thing, but, to me, it was everything. Just to hear her voice.
19 months earlier
Patricia moved out two days after we broke up. She'd slept on a blow up mattress on our bedroom floor for two nights, and I spent those nights looking at her sleeping so calmly and peacefully, just wanting to go over and be next to her. Just wanting to hear her breathing softly, right next to me, in her sleep.
When she hugged me just before she took her last box out the next morning, I tried to hold on for as long as possible, and I thought that I'd felt her do the same. She hugged the rest of our roommates, promised we'd all stay in touch, and then drove off with her boxes in the back of the car.
It'd all been so perfect when we moved in together. When we kissed for the first time in our new bedroom, I thought I knew that this was the right thing; I thought I knew that this would be forever. I thought I knew how this would all end up.
But when she drove off down that road towards her new student apartment, not even looking back, I knew I'd lost something. That's all I knew.
Present time
At the wedding reception, I should've talked to her again.
I should've held her there, given her a hug, and looked in to her eyes to try and see if she felt the same. To see if she'd missed me.
I should've been over there with her, laughing and talking and saying I was sorry. Sorry for not staying in touch; sorry for trying to erase her from my brain. I wanted to tell her that trying to erase her didn't help; it just made her blurred inside my head – it spread her everywhere else. Like when you try and erase a pencil line but the eraser is useless and it just smudges it everywhere.
And instead of talking to her at the wedding, I stood so far behind her at the bar and stared at her as she walked away. I stared at the mess I'd made. Everything I'd screwed up.
Patricia
'You look… beautiful.' Ryan smiled as I opened the door. We were going to see a movie, so I didn't dress to formally – some grey jeans, a burgundy top and a leather jacket – and I smiled when I saw him standing there. He was wearing some black skinny jeans and a long-sleeved denim shirt.
'Thanks. You don't look so bad yourself.'
'Thanks,' he grinned, and we walked down the stairs towards the street below. 'It's good to see you again.'
'Yeah, when I'm not seriously exhausted and wearing a really posh bridesmaid's dress.'
'I liked the bridesmaid's dress.' He complimented, opening the gate for me and leading me to his car. It was black and quite expensive-looking.
'Thanks,' I climbed in to the passenger seat and looked around. Was he rich or something? Either that, or he had extremely rich parents. Possibly both.
When we got to the movies, we were early, so we sat for a while on the tables in the main lobby, drinking a cup of diet Coke each. He sat there and told me about himself: he was twenty-three, and he was in a band (guitar player). His favourite colour was dark blue and his hair was naturally light brown, but two years ago his friends decided to make him dye it black and now he couldn't stop doing it or "it'd be weird".
I could've done the awkward move of bringing up my ex and how he used to dye his hair too, but I decided against that. It probably wasn't a wise move.
And then I told him about myself. The whole time he nodded and smiled, listening so intently, and he never interrupted me. After Eddie, I was used to guys making snarky and funny comments during my sentences. Especially when the guy was American and you were British, and they liked to make jokes about how you pronounced words.
Ryan laughed at my really lame jokes, and there was no tension. We were just the right balance between being different and being similar, and we never clashed with each other. We disagreed on some stuff, sure, but there were no serious things keeping us from getting along.
For one thing, he didn't create a not-so-nice nickname for me within ten minutes of our first conversation. He called me by my actual name and didn't accuse me of talking too much.
Things were different with him.
It was easier. More relaxed.
I liked it.
'That movie was… terrible.' I laughed as we walked out of the cinema. Ryan reached down and took my hand gently, and I blushed a little. I blushed.
'I liked it.'
'Really?' Looking up at him, I raised my eyebrows, incredulous.
He grinned and shook his head, laughing a little as we walked down the steps. 'No. Not at all.'
'I didn't think so.'
'What kinds of movies do you like then, Patricia?'
I shrugged. 'Anything really. Just not awful ones like that one.'
'Same here,' he chuckled. 'I'll watch anything.… So, what do you wanna do now? Grab some dinner? Or if you're really not enjoying the date, then I can drop you home…' He smirked playfully and I laughed.
'I'm having a good time,' I said sincerely. 'Let's go for dinner. There's a café just down the road from here that we could walk to.'
'Sounds good.' He smiled down at me and squeezed my hand.
We went to his car so he could grab his jacket, and then we walked down to the café.
It was a little Italian café right on the edge of the town centre, and it wasn't busy at all which was nice.
Ryan pulled my chair out for me when the waiter showed us our table, and I blushed again. It was only the first date, and he was already making me blush. A few years ago, I would've hated the fact I was blushing. And I sort of still hated it, but not much.
It was 10pm when Ryan dropped me home.
We'd been having such a good date that we completely lost track of time and, before we knew it, the café was closing.
Ryan walked me to my door, and he kissed me. I hadn't kissed anyone but Eddie in my whole life, and I hated that kissing someone made me think of him (I guessed it always would, seeing as he was my first kiss ever). But, the longer Ryan kissed me, the more I thought of Ryan; which was just how it should've been.
And when he pulled away, I had a huge grin on my face because for the first time in what felt like forever, I wasn't spending the evening thinking of Eddie. No—I was thinking of Ryan. I was thinking of the boy I'd just been on a proper date with, and just properly kissed. It was so nice to be different with him.
He pulled no snarky remarks when I leaned in to hug him, and I liked that. It was so much easier. Different, but easier.
"I'll call you," he said, smiling as I leaned out of the hug. "Tomorrow. Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"I had such a good time tonight. Thank you."
"Thank you." I grinned, and he leaned in to kiss me just one last time before I unlocked my door. As I walked in to my apartment, I didn't look back, but I knew he was standing there for a moment before the door closed.
When I got inside, I took a moment to compose myself back in to the usual Patricia. The Patricia who didn't blush; the Patricia who didn't go crazy over a boy.
Oh, who was I kidding—I left all that behind when Eddie came along.
Underneath my I-hate-cliché, no-one-can-make-me-blush exterior… I was a girl. And I liked it when a boy told me I looked beautiful, or when a boy held my hand. I guess it made me feel loved; it made me feel wanted.
And for the first time in 18 months, I was pretty sure I wanted someone back. Someone other than Eddie.
I made myself some hot chocolate, put my pajamas on and picked up my phone to text Joy.
Date done. Just got home… shall I call you or are you asleep?
Joy: No. I'm awake. Call me! I want to hear everything.
Smiling like an idiot, I called her straight away and she answered after just three rings.
"How did it go?" She asked as soon as she answered.
"Hello to you too,"
"Sorry, hi," she rushed. "But seriously—how did it go!?"
I sighed, and felt like a little bit of a blushing idiot, but I didn't mind it. I liked it… just a little. But I'd never admit that out loud. "Oh, Joy… it was so good."
"Where did you go?"
I told her every single detail – even about the kiss ("He kissed you!? PATRICIA!") – and she squealed practically the whole time. She was such an excited little girl inside and, to be honest, I felt like one right now, too.
"That is so wonderful, Trix. I'm so glad you had a good time."
"Me too," I smiled, feeling relieved. "I was so nervous."
"That's a good sign. It means you're moving on… and, as much as I shipped Peddie, I'm so glad you've found Ryan. He really likes you."
I frowned. "How do you know?"
"He texted Jerome a minute ago to tell him."
"Wow, really?"
"Yeah."
"…Wow."
Joy sighed happily and then squealed, "I'm so excited for you!"
"Thanks," I chuckled, sitting down on the sofa. "Listen I'm gonna go… I'm exhausted. I'll talk to you tomorrow."
"Alright sweetie. Glad you had a good time. Thanks for telling me all about it… Bye!"
I woke up the next morning with his face etched on to my brain. His brown hair, his brown eyes, the biker boots, the leather jackets…
I smiled until I realised who was etched on to my brain.
Ryan didn't wear biker boots. He didn't wear leather jackets. He didn't have brown hair.
Instead of it being the boy that should've been etched on to my brain – the boy who'd kissed me so amazingly the night before – it was the boy I thought I'd finally let go.
It was Eddie. Stupid, stupid Eddie. Why on earth was I thinking of him the minute I woke up?
I frowned and pushed the duvet off me before walking down the hall and in to the kitchen, rubbing my eyes sleepily. I thought I'd make myself some coffee to try and take my mind off things.
It didn't work.
I tried turning on the TV on to distract my mind, because I had no idea what was going on. It all seemed so sudden.
It'd been five days since I'd seen Eddie last, and our conversation hadn't exactly been particularly riveting. All we'd done is said "hi", and that was pretty much it, before my now-married best friend interrupted us.
And if I'm honest, I hadn't thought about Eddie all night on my date with Ryan. I felt like I was finally moving on – like I was finally feeling normal again – and I felt content.
But now, waking up to Eddie on my mind and all over my thoughts, I wasn't sure what had happened.
I thought back over my dreams last night. I was pretty sure I hadn't dreamt about Eddie.
So why was I thinking about him so much?
After lunch, I started wishing that I had work that day, because everything was so busy there that maybe it could've jolted my brain in to forgetting Eddie and thinking about Ryan. I wanted to think about Ryan, and when I forced myself to think of him, I smiled. Because things were so much easier with him, and I loved that.
I picked up my laptop and saw I had a Facebook message from Joy, sent at 4am. Smiling, I opened it.
Just getting on the plane now. I just sent you a postcard… old fashioned, I know, but I love them. Hope all is well for you this morning and Ryan has texted you already. Love you. Joy :) xx
And when I looked at my phone, I realised that he had, in fact, texted me. I'd been so focused on Eddie all morning that I'd forgotten to check my phone.
Ryan: Morning gorgeous. Had such a good time last night. See me tomorrow? :)
Me: Hi :) Sure. What time? Where?
Ryan: Walk on the beach after a coffee? 10am?
Me: It's freezing out!
Ryan: Wear a coat. :) I'll see you then. Xxxx
Me: Okay :)
Ryan: Patricia, you should know that I really like you. And I really want to give this a try with you…xxx
A/N:
Hey sweethearts! Sorry this part is kind of lame, but the next part will be so much better.
Yay for Joy shipping Peddie, you guys. She always has done from the very beginning;)
I started college yesterday, so I might not be updating really, really soon. But I'll try my best.
Thank you so much for reading; please leave a review! I love getting them, they're my fave thing. Your reviews are wonderful.
Also, I'm doing a one-shot series and would really appreciate some prompts/ideas :)
Love:* xxx
