Chapter 7

I warn you now it is sad

MELODIE4894 – THANKS FOR THE HELP WITH THE PHONE-NUMBER ISSUE :) MUCH LOVE

"So, Jim, have you always lived in Iowa?" Amanda asked as she watched him placing the now-cooked cakes in their paper cases onto a metal cooling rack. She was un-sticking the cookies from her own tray as she looked at the young human before her.

"Yeah, for my whole life. My mum moved here after she retired from Starfleet. After everything that happened."

Jim replied, as Spock shot him a sympathetic look from across the kitchen.

"Do you have any brothers or sisters?" Amanda didn't fail to notice the look between the two boys, so she decided to change the subject. Siblings was always a safe subject.

"I've got one brother; he's a few years older than me. His name's Sam." Jim smiled to himself thinking of his brother. He'd swallowed the lump in his throat when the issue of his dad had hovered silently in the air. He knew that she was going to figure it out soon, how he steadfastly was ignoring mentioning his father.

"Jim, you've talked about your mother, and your brother. What about your father? Does he work away from home?" she felt the tension rise in the air at her question. Jim frowned for a minute, as if in deep thought. Spock edged towards him, placing his hand on top of the human's as it rested on the counter.

"No, he doesn't work away from home. He…uh…he died on the day I was born."

Jim looked sideways at Spock and smiled at the hand atop his. He didn't feel upset by it, he had never known George kirk to be able to mourn the loss of him in his childhood or his teen years. It was just a little awkward when other people asked. He felt bad causing tension by his bombshell.

"Oh honey, I'm so sorry. I didn't realise. Sorry."

She patted his arm and looked sadly into his young face. He smiled at her and shook his head to dismiss her apologies.

"Nah, it's fine; don't worry about it. I never knew him and Sam can barely remember him. It's my mum I worry about. Having to bring us up on her own and cope with it everyday. She's fine now, I mean she still gets upset about it sometimes, but we're there for her when she needs us." Jim answered as they returned to the front room.

Then they heard a key scratching in the lock and Thomas walked through the door, greeting his family cheerily. Jim turned to Spock and hugged him to his chest.

"Looks like that's my cue to exit. I'll let you have the last day here together. I've got some stuff to do at home anyway. Thanks for everything Amanda; I've had a great time today." Jim said, turning towards her and smiling widely. She patted his shoulder as Thomas hung up his coat behind them. Spock looked hurt and confused at Jim's announcement.

"Jim. You cannot leave here. I…I do not…I will never see you again…Jim please?"

Spock whispered urgently as he leaned towards him. Jim stroked a warm hand across Spock's cheekbone. The Vulcan leaned into the touch, his eyes closing slowly.

"Honey, I'll see you again before you leave; I'll make sure to. I just don't wanna crash your last day here. Spend it with your uncle, and enjoy it. Visit the cornfields and the fair and the market and lie on the grass and stare up at the endless sky. Watch the sunset. Do everything that you can while you're here. I've commandeered enough of your trip so you need some time without me." Jim commanded playfully, hugging Spock lightly again, placing a kiss on his cheek.

"Y-yes Jim. I will not leave without saying goodbye to you; I c-could not go back to V-Vulcan without some sense of c-closure." Spock replied hoarsely against Jim's ear, stilling his breathing to prevent the tears that were threatening to spill. Jim's heart ached at the sound of the Vulcan's voice; so pained and scared.

"Thomas, Amanda, and Spock; you've been so amazing to me these last few days. I just wanna say thanks for everything." Jim said, with a definite air of finality. Then he turned and walked out of the house, waving happily at the two humans and his Vulcan.

As soon as the door closed behind him Jim heaved a great sigh, his breath hitching already from being away from Spock. He found himself walking, not knowing where or how; his mind all fogged over suddenly. His feet pounding on the pavement was all he could focus on, his heart hammering against his ribs, all of the memories of the last few days came rushing to him, cascading like water over his mind and engulfing him; drowning him.

He kept himself walking, he didn't want Spock to know he was upset, didn't want him to forfeit another day with his family just for him. So Jim made sure there were a good few streets between him and the house before he finally let the feelings overcome him.

And overcome him they did. He felt his knees buckling and he flopped down onto the kerb and hunched over, feeling his eyes sting with tears and he squeezed them shut. Then his chest was heaving and he was sobbing and balling like a child.

He rested his head on his knees and knew he had to get home. His mum and his brother would be waiting for him. Jim reluctantly lifted himself from the cold pavement and ran, not caring if anyone saw him all broken with tears pouring down his cheeks.

Moments later he barrelled through the gate and around the side of the house, tired from running and clutching a stitch in his side, he sat himself amongst the hay-bails in the barn. He stretched his arms and legs out wide, allowing his body to sink into the warmth around him. But there was something underneath him, something oddly shaped and obstructive. Jim reached behind him and grabbed the object, frowning at his discomfort. He pulled it out and stifled another bout of tears when he held the golden teddy with a blue bow out in front of him. He sat up, crossing his legs and leaning against the hay, and suddenly nothing else mattered, he was tired and comfortable and he could feel his eyelids drooping. He wrapped his arms around the teddy bear and succumbed to the sleep that his body was screaming out for.

Sam rolled into the back yard and dismounted his motorbike, balancing his helmet on the handlebars before leaning the bike against the barn. Then he heard the sound of Jim's steady breathing and muffled sleep noises coming from the building. He wondered why his little brother would be sleeping, sleeping of all things, in the barn at this time of day (or any time of day for that matter).

Sam edged his way into the barn and crouched down before his sleeping brother, who was still leaning against the hay with the teddy clutched in his arms. The older boy frowned as he noticed the tear tracks on his sibling's usually joyful face. he placed a tentative hand on Jim's shoulder and shook him lightly. He awoke with a start and jumped at the sight of Sam.

"Jim, why are you sleeping in the barn? Are you alright? I know you've been crying. Come on little bro, tell me all about it, huh?" Sam soothed, ruffling Jim's hair playfully. Jim seemed anxious for a moment and then he launched himself into his older brother's arms, breathing heavily as fresh tears fell.

"I love him Sam! And he has to leave…at the end of today. It fucking sucks! Because I really really love him and he has to up and leave me! Why did I have to choose the only alien in the roller-rink to fall for? Huh? I…it's just…life isn't fair you know? And I know I haven't known him for very long…only a few days…but I can't explain how I fell in love with him…I just did. And now everything's just got fucked up again Sam!" Jim blurted out, allowing every thought that was swimming painfully in his head to pour out of his mouth. Sam wrapped an arm around his brother's shoulder and leant against the hay next to him.

"Oh, you're talking about Spock. I'm so sorry Jim; this really is a bit of a sucky situation. I didn't know you loved him though; that's pretty intense and serious. I don't think I've ever loved someone like that; that I get devastated when they leave, or breakdown over teddy-bears and stuff. It'll be ok though bro, you can still keep in touch with him and call him or write letters. It isn't the end jimmy, you can't think of this as the be-all and end-all." Sam hugged his brother into his side and stared down at the teddy his brother was still holding onto tightly.

"What's with the teddy bear, by the way? You seemed pretty attached to it, bro."

Sam asked, as Jim pulled back from the hug and stared down at it sadly. The younger brother was thumbing the blue ribbon as he looked at Sam through teary eyes.

"I won it for Spock at the fair. He left it here last night after we…uh…well after we were here. I'm gonna give it back to him before he leaves. I just like the way it smells of him. I bet I sound like a massive sap don't I? Jesus! Why did I choose Spock, the one guy in Iowa that's leaving, to fall head over heels in love with?" Jim pounded his fists on the ground as the teddy fell from his grasp.

"You can't help who you love, Jimmy. When does spock leave?" Sam asked his brother tentatively, not wanting to upset him.

"Tonight at nine o clock, from the west-brook space dock." Jim answered, his voice stoic and emotionless. Sam knew that Jim would've been going over and over the date and time and place of Spock's departure, because he knew what kind of kid his brother was; one that thought too much. All Sam wanted to do was take his little brother's pain away, but he could see no way to do it. The Vulcan was leaving to return to his own planet, and Jim had fallen in love with him. Enough bad things had happened to Jim without heartbreak to be added to the list.

"I'm sorry Jim. And you don't sound like a sap when you talk about him." Sam said, wrapping his arm around Jim's shoulders and wiping the tears from his cheeks with a warm thumb. Jim looked up at him and smiled weakly, attempting to show his appreciation to Sam.

"Come on let's go inside, huh? It's chilly out here. Bring teddy as well."

Sam led Jim inside and seated him on the sofa and then busied himself in the kitchen, making some strong tea for his lovelorn sibling.

Meanwhile Spock was in his room, suitcase open on the bed as he collected all of his belongings from around the room. Everything he saw reminded him of Jim, and it was just slowing him down. With tears in his eyes he folded his clothes and placed them in the case, before slumping onto the ground and lifting his knees up to his chest. He rested his head upon them and let all of the memories come back to him. The roller-rink when Jim had rescued him from falling on the ground over and over again. Their first kiss with arms wrapped around each other. In Jim's room later that night on the bed with Jim writhing beneath him. Sitting in front of the fire as Jim spilled his soul and told Spock his darkest secret. At the fairground on the Ferris wheel, and kissing in the tunnel of love. The night under the stars was one Spock would never forget. Even the baking with his mother was something that roused his usually-controlled emotions. He closed his eyes and succumbed to the tiredness that was tugging at his already-fogged mind. Sleeping for an hour or so wouldn't do him any harm.

He was awoken three hours later, by a knocking at the front door and the doorbell ringing. Who would possibly be visiting the house? His mother and uncle were both in the house, and Jim had returned home. He heard his mother open the door, yet he did not hear a voice of the visitor.

"Honey, someone's brought something for you, come and have a look." Amanda called up the stairs to Spock. He was confused at his mother's words. But he relented anyway, walking down the stairs to see his parcel. His mother was holding a large lumpy shape wrapped in brown paper with string tied around it. There was an envelope sitting on top of it with his name on it.

"Here you are, love. I don't know who sent it, but they brought it to the door personally because there aren't any post marks or stamps on it." His mother said, placing it in Spock's hands and smiling at him encouragingly. They walked into the kitchen and he placed it on the table. Amanda moved around the table and seated herself opposite Spock and the package. He moved the envelope to one side to open later.

Anticipation seeped into his mind as he untied the string and let the paper fall away. What he saw made his heart leap into his throat (although such a thing would be medically possible of course). It was the teddy bear that Jim had won in the shooting game at the bear. That Jim had won for him. The memories swam in his head again and he felt his eyes prickle with tears. On top of the golden bear rested the grey woolly hat that Jim had forced on his head on the first night they had met. He lifted the hat and held it tightly in his hands, the soft material reminded him of when he was wearing it, the way that Jim was fussing about him feeling cold, and the way the tassels of the hat had tickled Jim's nose as Spock leaned over him. Then the tears were flowing freely as everything from that night came rushing back to him.

Amanda jumped up and moved to hug her son, his head resting on her shoulder as he shook with crying.

"I-I need to get some fr-fresh air. I w-will be in the garden if you need me, Mother."

Spock said, manoeuvring himself away from his mother's embrace and picking the letter up from the table, he also took the teddy bear and the hat with him, clutching it all he walked into the front garden and lay back in the grass, it was wet with dew and frost, but he found he didn't care at that moment. The teddy, the hat and the letter were placed safely on the doorstep.

After lying there for at least thirty minutes in contemplative silence he decided to open the letter, to see what Jim had written. He picked up the hat first, which he shoved onto his head to warm his ears in the cool weather, and then he placed the bear between his crossed knees. Feeling slightly comforted and prepared by Jim's gifts, he slowly ripped the envelope open and removed the paper inside.

Dear Spock,

I don't really know what to say to you, that I haven't already said a hundred times. I just want you to know that you being here for these few days has made my life a million times better. You came in and flipped my life upside down.

I know we were trying not to say the l-word, and I'm going to keep to that. But I want to know that I really l-word you.

For the first time in my life I found someone who cares about me, and I mean genuinely cares, not just fake-cares so they can sleep with me and then leave.

I want to thank you for making this week the best ever. I've had great fun with you; at the roller-rink, and the farmhouse, and the fair, and the baking with your mum. I'll never forget all the stuff we did together.

Please don't forget me either. I'm hardly ever arrogant in my life, but I know that I had some effect on you too, so don't let us lose contact.

My address is:

The Kirk Farm – 72 Jaybird Street

Riverside

Iowa

My email address is:

J_T_KIRK

My home phone number is:

555-555-5555*

Spock placed the letter down, feeling his eyes stinging with tears again. Didn't Jim realise that this letter was going to torture him even more than having to leave? When he was reading the letter Jim's voice had been ringing out in his head. He could imagine all of Jim's mannerisms if he'd said the words out loud, his perfect teeth biting at his plump bottom lip, scratching the back of his neck with nervousness, a light blush scattering over his tanned cheeks.

His brain had taken such an emotional battering over the past few days that Spock couldn't focus on anything except Jim. A steady rhythm was beating in his mind; Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim. He found himself walking down the street, towards the focus of his thoughts. He needed to speak to Jim, to see him again.

The streets are silent and cold, but Spock doesn't notice this. He just keeps his feet pounding on the concrete towards his goal. Within what felt like minutes the Vulcan was standing outside Jim's front door, trying to calm his reeling mind. He raised a shaking hand and knocked at the door. He listened for movement on the other side of the door, and he was treated to the sound of Jim's voice. Then the door was open and all the responses and greetings that had been spinning around his mind disappeared.

Jim smiled widely as he saw Spock standing before him. his smile widened further when he saw spock was wearing the grey hat he had given him.

"Jim, I need to speak to you. Would you please walk with me?" Spock spoke confidently, gesturing the street behind him. Jim stepped out of his house, after shoving his warm feet into his battered old trainers and he had informed Sam of where he was going. Jim and Spock walked together awkwardly. The tension of Spock leaving floated between them and above them, like a grief-filled rain cloud waiting to rain all over them at any point. But Jim tried to break the tension by slipping his fingers in between Spock's pale ones, enjoying the Vulcan's eyes fluttering.

"Is there somewhere we can sit and talk?" Spock asked after ten minutes, glancing around for a bench or a kerb.

"I know a place, follow me." Jim answered, grabbing Spock's hand tightly and running into an alleyway off to the left. Spock had no choice but to run too as he was wrenched along. The alley carried on for a while, but it eventually opened up to a golden cornfield glowing even in the dark November chill. Spock stood paralysed by the sight. How could something so beautiful be hidden behind Iowan suburbia?

"Come on, Spock." Jim said from beside him tugging at the tassels of spock's new hat, which shook him from his reverie. Jim ran off again, disappearing into the tall plants until Spock could only hear his retreating footfalls.

"Spock; follow my voice, come and find me, baby." Jim called out, as Spock made his way into the field warily, feeling a bit lost without Jim with him. he started to run towards the sound of Jim's shouting. And then the corn thinned out, to reveal a large circle with nothing growing there. He frowned at the spectacle, but then he saw Jim sitting cross legged in the centre and smiled down at him. Spock closed the gap between them and sat opposite the human boy, shuffling until their knees were touching.

"I wanted to tell you that I love- Spock started to say, but Jim reached out and placed his fingers over Spock's lips to stop him. Spock frowned at the action. Did Jim not feel the same way? He had said he did in the letter; was it a lie? A brush-off perhaps?

"Spock, please don't say that. It was hard enough having to not write it in the letter. You saying that word will make you leaving a million times harder. I feel the same way; you know I do. I just... I can't deal with that, on top of everything else…is that ok, babe?" Jim replied, his voice cracking a little bit.

Of course he wanted to hear Spock say those three little words to him. The way the syllables would roll off his Vulcan tongue and Jim would kiss the words from his mouth over and over again. But right now it was all too much. The three words were the elephant in the room, the unspoken issue hanging over them. They hadn't said it; and Jim wanted to keep it that way.

"Yes, Jim. I understand." Spock replied, leaning forward and placing a light kiss on Jim's full lips.

"I am sorry that I have to leave, I have never wanted to return to my home less than I do now." Spock carried on, as if he had a speech rehearsed and he wanted to complete it before letting emotion get the better of him. Jim placed his hand on top of Spock's.

"I…I can't believe that you….actually have to leave today. You-you're the best thing that …ever happened to me. It's so…so unfair." Jim stuttered out, staring into Spock's dark brown eyes as he felt tears threatening to spill.

"Jim, we must not sit here bemoaning what cannot be changed, we must enjoy our last moments together." Spock said while entwining his fingers with Jim's.

"Yeah…yes, of course, you're right. I'm sorry." Jim muttered, shaking his head to rid the thoughts of pain and loneliness. He could always make a crappy situation look better, that's what he was good at; positivity. So he moved himself from the cold frozen ground and sat himself squarely in Spock's lap; it was quickly becoming his favourite place to sit.

He wrapped his arms around Spock's neck and kissed him hard on the mouth, licking along the Vulcan's pale lower lip pleading for entrance. It was granted quickly and Spock sucked on Jim's pink tongue for a good minute or so, just enjoying the feeling of Jim wrapped all around him in the cold autumn air.

After a while they break apart, and Spock smiles at Jim as he feels the human's hands snaking around Spock's hips.

"Oh, I wanted to say thank you for the gifts you gave me. I appreciate the gesture."

Spock said, idly fingering the hat's tassel that rested on his shoulder. Jim smiled and placed a kiss on Spock's lips in response.

"Well, I won that bear for you, at the fair, so that was yours anyway. And the hat; well I don't think I've ever worn it and it just looked so cute on you that night, that I thought you should have it. But you're welcome."

Jim said smiling and tapping Spock lightly on the nose with a tanned finger tip. Spock really would miss the feeling of warmth that graced Jim's skin, and the way it felt against his own cooler skin.

They lay in the cornfield, in the oddly-placed crop circle for a while, watching as the sun moved across the sky, hidden behind dark moody-looking rain clouds and as the frost circled around them. Spock was glad he had the hat and his own personal body-heater to keep him warm.

"I will miss Earth, and the way the temperature changes, and all of the nature that surrounds you here. It is beautiful." Spock said, once the sun began to set, colouring the sky with deep reds and purples. A cool mist was also descending around them as Jim rolled over so he was lying on his side, watching the night sky reflecting in Spock's eyes.

"Hmm. I guess it's ok…I mean it doesn't seem anything big or exciting to me…it isn't something that I really think about, but then I'm used to it. I mean it isn't like love, or meeting someone who spins your world on its head and changes the way you look at everything…you know?" Jim said coyly, stroking Spock's ear as the Vulcan blushed and also turned on his side. He stroked pale fingertips down Jim's be-freckled cheekbone.

"I guess we should be getting back, huh? Have you finished all your packing?" Jim said, realising that they had been out there for a few hours; he had again commandeered Spock away from his family. Actually it had been Spock who sought him out this time, for once he was innocent.

"Yes, it seems like we must return to reality once more; although I enjoyed our moment of respite. Thank you for making my stay here on Earth a pleasant one, Jim…it has been most…most illuminating. You have also changed the way I view life…I will never look upon Earth again without…without…thinking of our time together…without thinking of you." Spock managed, as he and Jim removed themselves from the ground and slowly walked out of the cornfield arms wrapped around each other.

Once they reached Jim's house, Spock didn't want to leave him. but he knew he had to return to his uncle's home before he and his mother would leave at nine o'clock. He tried to fight back the tears as he hugged Jim goodbye.

"I-I need your contact details…so I can contact you when you go…when you are back home…come in and write them down for me?" Jim asked as they separated, his voice was croaky as it all came hurtling towards him; Spock was leaving. Spock was leaving. Spock was leaving Earth forever. FOREVER.

The vulcan nodded and followed Jim inside, a misery engulfing his very soul at having to leave this world behind, the world of Jim; his farm, his family, his street, his bedroom, his personality, his beauty behind to return to his home.

Then he was leaning over the table, with a piece of paper and a pen placed in front of him. The pen had the name James Tiberius Kirk scribed into the side of it. Spock wrote down his address and phone number for his home on Vulcan. He also wrote down his email address. He felt the tears well in his eyes as he pushed it across the table to Jim.

Jim was sitting on the sofa, his head in his hands, his shoulders shaking in silent tears. That sent Spock over the edge. He rushed to sit beside Jim, leaning his head on his shoulder. Jim looked up at him through bleary, red-ringed eyes, attempting (and failing) to convey a strong smile in Spock's direction. With a final squeeze of Jim's hand Spock stood and walked out of the house, towards his uncle's house. He hated to leave the farm house, but he knew that if he didn't leave then, he never would. His legs felt weak and his head hurt from crying.

When he got back to the house, his mother was sitting on the doorstep, with Thomas beside her with his hand in hers with the teddy bear clutched lightly in her other hand. Spock took the teddy as she offered it to him, and then he sat himself next to her. He looked at the watch on his wrist, it read 8:30. In half an hour he would be on a shuttle rocketing away from the best few days of his life. His first love would be left and he would be disappearing to Vulcan.

Back in the farm house Winona and Sam had sat themselves on either side of Jim and were listening to him tell them about all the things he and Spock had done, and why fate fucking sucked. He skated over the facts regarding the sex he and Spock had had, not that they didn't know he was sleeping with Spock, but still it's not cool to tell your family all the kinky details. Although they were forever within Jim's mind; the curves and angles of Spock's pale body, the feeling of spock inside of him, the way spock blushed green right to the tips of his ears, the way his own name sounded pouring from spock's pale lips. He would never forget it.

"Ok, we need to get you to that space-dock sharpish. You nee to see him one more time before he goes, Jim." Winona said, running her fingers through Jim's blonde hair once the heaving breaths stopped and he had recovered slightly.

"Its 8:45 now, we could so get to the space-dock if we take the truck; Mum, where are the keys?" Sam said, jumping up from the sofa and smiling, he always liked doing spontaneous and seemingly crazy stuff. Jim smiled in spite of his misery at his older brother. He really appreciated his family in times like this.

"They're right here, come on jimmy; we've got a Vulcan to see. Chop chop!" Winona commanded, grabbing the keys off a hook on the wall and pulling on her boots. Jim got up and trudged to the doorway, grabbing a scarf from the hook and turning to his mum and brother.

"Thanks, you guys…I really…I appreciate…just thanks…you know." Jim couldn't fully say it but he made a valiant attempt.

"Yeah yeah, blah blah we're awesome…come on! We haven't got long!" Sam said, clapping and ushering Jim and Winona out of the house. He locked the door and rushed into the back of the old truck while Jim and Winona clambered into the front. She started up the engine and reversed out of the drive, powering down the street towards their destination.

Amanda and Spock arrived at the space-dock in Thomas' car. He was wiping tears from his eyes as he collected their bags from the back. They took them from him and he hugged them individually.

"I'm so glad you two came to visit me. It's been really great having people to fuss over and spend time with. Amanda, I really appreciate you coming all the way here from so far away and everything. It's just been so good to see you. I hope you come and visit again soon. I'll miss you guys!" Thomas managed to say, as he watched a battered old truck trundle into the dock behind them. It parked up a few spaces away and two teenaged boys climbed out, Thomas recognized the younger one immediately, even in the dark.

"Isn't that Jim over there? By that old truck?" Thomas said, pointing to the little family who were watching Spock, Amanda and Thomas with anticipation. Spock whirled round at the mention of Jim, and, sure enough it was the boy in question.

Jim waved at him, feeling really awkward now that he was actually there. He was planning on it being like a romantic comedy where the hero runs through the airport to find his love and they reunite with the crowds and staff cheering and he spiels out some cheesy line and then they jump-hug and live happily ever after. Apparently not.

Spock felt the pressure of his mother's hand pressing into his back. He moved towards Jim, his suitcase dragging behind him. They embraced tightly and kissed again, but this time it wasn't rough and hard, but soft and tender. A kiss filled with love.

"I want you to have this-" Spock rummaged in his suitcase and pulled out the long jumper he had worn at the roller-rink. He held it out for Jim to take; the human grasped the material with shaking fingers, drawing it close to him.

"-to remember me by." Spock concluded, stroking a fingertip down Jim's tear-trailed cheek. He watched as Jim pulled the jumper over his head and hugged it absentmindedly, revelling in the way it smelled like Spock.

Then Jim was hugging Spock again, with such force Spock could barely breathe, and that's saying something because Vulcan's are strong. He could feel Jim's lips nuzzling into his cool neck and he really wanted to throw his head back and moan in response. But that would be a little improper given their company.

"I know w-we said that we weren't gonna say…say it, but I can't let you leave here without me telling you how I-I really f-feel. I love you, Spock. And I will never, ever forget you. You…it's just been so…just amazing…thanks…thank you Spock." Jim said, between gulping breaths and new tears making their way down his face.

Spock was crying too, he furiously wiped his eyes and took a few steadying breaths.

"I-I love you too. I know that we w-will meet again. I will m-make sure of it." Spock managed to choke out before the tears took over again. Then the shuttle that Spock and Amanda would be leaving on arrived a few feet away, the little group turned towards it with solemn looks on their faces.

Amanda patted Jim on the shoulder and thanked him for looking after Spock, and then her and Spock picked up their suitcases and walked towards the shuttle. They seated themselves on, with the Kirk family and Thomas carrying the rest of their bags over. Jim picked up the teddy from the back seat of the car and handed it to Spock, placing a final soft kiss upon his lips.

"I guess this is g-goodbye then." Amanda said, feeling her own tears well up at having to leave her beloved Earth. Spock and Jim stared at each other through the small window; Jim raised his hand and waved, swallowing the lump in his throat. The doors closed and the shuttle flew up into the sky, disappearing into a tiny dot in minutes. Jim felt Sam's arm wrap around his shoulders and his mum stroking his arm. He felt empty and cold and exhausted. He did not know when, or if he would see Spock again. But he had the jumper to remember him by, and he could always call him.

He had no idea what to do now, his life seemed awfully empty with Spock gone. He still had his awesome family to get him through it though, that he was thankful for.

"Hey, it's Thomas isn't it? Would you like to come round ours for a cuppa? I know that I need one, I don't know about you?" Winona asked, smiling at the kind-hearted man. He nodded and chuckled, wiping a tear from his eye.

"Lead the way and I'll meet you there." He called, jumping into his car as the Kirk family made their way to the battered truck. Jim sat in the back with Sam and smiled weakly at his brother.

"I'm sorry bro, really. But you'll be ok soon enough." Sam soothed, patting Jim's knee as they reached the farm house. Jim smiled again, knowing his brother's words were true.

But at that moment he felt so desperately alone and as if his heart had taken a good beating. A warm cup of tea with three sugars was placed into his hands and his mothers cool fingers ruffled his hair moments later. He missed Spock already.

* I didn't use a proper phone number because I was worried it might turn out to be an actual existing number and yeah…so I just put all fives…just imagine it's an Iowa phone number ok?

Sad sad sad…I feel emotionally drained and I only wrote it…so much crying and hugging and yes it is a bit clichéd and kind of cheesy/romance movie stuff…but you can't write someone leaving without some fluffy schmoopy stuff

I tried to avoid being too bleh and disgustingly sweet with the dialogue. But it was hard to not.

Hopefully it's not too bad.

Really long again sorry….11 freaking pages