Hello!
I've got to say, I was SO surprised and excited when I logged into my email this morning and had a few more reviews. I'm now up to seventeen. Thank you so much everyone who's reviewing, adding me to favorite authors/story...you made my day!
This chapter was so much fun to write! :-) It starts out sort of somber, as are most things with Katniss and Peeta, but I think it has a happy ending. Let me know what you think! Next chapter should be up tomorrow morning!
Thanks so much!
-Homey ;)
Disclaimer: These characters and settings all belongs to Suzanne Collins.
©HomeschoolGirl 2012, or at least this actual post is. The characters, not so much. But anyway, please don't use this as your own. Thanks!
Peeta doesn't talk as he leads me home, tucks me into bed, and heads downstairs. A few moments later, I hear a screech as a teakettle boils. I lose track of time after that, but I know it's not much longer before he appears in the doorway with a steaming mug clamped in his hands.
I take it from him, drinking the hot liquid with earnest even though it burns my throat. I'm a bit embarrassed about what happened back in the meadow. Me, begging Peeta to let me die. Crying. Kill me please? He said no.
"Are you going to watch me all the time, now?" I ask.
Peeta starts to shake his head and instead smiles wryly. "Probably."
I sit up, kicking the sheets away from me as I do so. "I'm not going to kill myself, Peeta. Promise. I just had a momentary lapse in judgment."
"Begging me to kill you is a momentary lapse in judgment?"
I flinch. "For me, yes."
He sighs. "Katniss…"
"Peeta!"
His eyes go dark and he sighs. "I don't understand. You act like you have closure, and then you go off and do something like that just because you see her!"
I'm surprised by this sudden change in subject. "What?"
He steps closer. "You act like maybe you'll be okay. Like you've moved on from her death. But then certain things trigger stuff in you and-"
I close my eyes. "Please, Peeta. Don't talk about it."
"But that's just IT!" He cries, throwing his hands up. "You NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT. You will never, ever have your life back if you don't."
"Maybe I don't want it back," I say, lips trembling. "Maybe I deserve to suffer."
"All you do is feel sorry for yourself!" Peeta laments.
I look at him with disbelief, my lips curling away from my teeth in a horrible grimace. "And all you do is go on and on about other people, like you know absolutely EVERYTHING. I've been through much worse than you, Peeta!"
His hands are shaking, but he's calm. I realize how far he's come since the days of the Capitol. He's changed. Back to the boy he used to be.
"Did they take you and torture you, Katniss? Did they make you want to kill everyone you loved? Did they take your whole family? Did they take everything good about you and change it? Did you have to fight to get it back?"
"No!" I exclaim. "No they didn't torture me, Peeta. They did much worse than that! They used me! They used me against people I loved! They took not only everything good about me, but every thing about me! And they made me different and horrible. They took more than my family-they took my life!"
Peeta just breathes. My heart is pounding.
And then I'm hitting him, over and over again, with blows so determined it must hurt. He doesn't say anything, though, just captures my wrists and holds me as I thrash and call him every bad name I know. When my legs move to kick him, he forces me onto the bed, holding me down.
I'm a screaming, writhing, sorry mess of the person I used to be. Peeta shouldn't have to take care of me like this-it's not fair to him. But then again, he's the only person I have left…
"Katniss!" He's yelling. "Katniss, stop!"
I glare up at him. "No."
And you know what he does? He laughs.
"Let me go!" I screech, wriggling under his grip.
He's laughing so hard his hold loosens. I take that as my opportunity to punch him in the stomach. His eyes bug out from his head and he goes rolling off the bed. I still hear him laughing, though.
"What's so funny?" I demand, leaning over the bed to look down at him.
He doesn't answer. I think he's short of breath.
I roll my eyes as his chuckles continue. Eventually I end up on the floor beside him. His laughter is funny to listen to-a little hitching sound. Like hiccups. That makes me picture Peeta doing something as trivial as hiccupping and I start laughing, too.
"You…" He gasps, in between spurts of laughter. "Said…No…Like…You…"
"Like I what?" I say, giggling.
Tears are running down his cheeks. "You got this…look on your face…and you looked like you were…four."
I try to re-create the expression and I'm sure it's unconvincing so we both just start laughing again.
I can't remember laughing so hard or so long ever. It's almost like I'm in hysterics and I end up being sillier than is necessary. Peeta doesn't seem to mind, though, he just laughs with me.
I get to my feet, grabbing his hand, and start pulling him toward the front door. The moon has come up and a nice breeze winds through the trees. I march with him toward the woods, keeping my gaze straight ahead as not to see the bodies in the meadow, and duck under the fence.
Peeta keeps asking me where we're going but I just ignore him. The hike takes longer than I remember it being, and I wish I had packed some kind of snack, but whatever. We can eat berries if it comes down to it. Just the nightlock kind.
I can't help wondering how we went from being so somber to so happy. It's probably some mental imbalance in my brain. Maybe I have split personality disorder. After about ten minutes of trying to sort my thoughts out, I just give up on them. Tonight, I'm going to have fun. I'll worry about possible brain damage in the morning.
It gets colder as the trees cast shadows. The deeper into the forest we get, the safer I feel. It seems to have the opposite affect on Peeta. He's gone rigid, shivering.
"We're almost there," I announce, as I can hear it up ahead.
"Almost where?"
I turn around and wink at him. "You'll see."
We crash through the underbrush, walk to the clearing, and there it is. The lake my father used to bring me too. Where I learned to swim.
Peeta just stares as I pull my shirt off, followed by my pants, revealing a very faded pair of undergarments. I don't really care, though. My modesty was lost in the Capitol. Heck, Panem's probably seen me naked before. Ew.
Trying not to over think things, I jump straight into the water.
It's cold as it bubbles up over me, and refreshing. I open my eyes and see nothing but inky darkness. Perfect.
When I surface, Peeta is crouched on the bank, his head tilted to the side.
"What are you doing, Katniss? It's probably thirty degrees in there!"
"Colder," I deadpan, trying not to shiver. "Now, get in here-it's time for your first swimming lesson!"
Peeta instantly smirks. "Sorry. Not happening."
"What are you?" I tease, diving under the water. I resurface a second later, just a few yards away. "Chicken?"
Peeta just rolls his eyes. "C'mon out, Katniss, you're going to get sick."
"Been through worse," I say in my most innocent voice. Don't think about what things you've been through. Think about having fun. "Stop being a baby and come on!"
"No thanks," Peeta says, holding his hands up in surrender. "Not interested."
I just smile and dive underwater. I can see him, crouched precariously on the bank, trying to peer into the dark water to see me. His wrist is extended just slightly over the edge of the lake…
I reach up and grab Peeta, pulling him with all my strength into the water. He crashes in on top of me, saying a few unrepeatable words in the process. I had no idea Peeta even knew half those words. I grin.
Luckily, the water is shallow here, and he stands with ease.
"Katniss!" He exclaims, then curses. My smile gets wider.
"What?" He asks, for I'm grinning so big it must look fake, or at least painful.
"You said a bad word!" My words dissolve into a fit of giggles.
Peeta just smiles. "Is that so surprising?"
I nod, forcing my mouth into a neutral expression, though my eyes are still twinkling. He looks at me for a long time before he reaches out and tucks a piece of wet hair behind my ear.
"You're beautiful, Katniss."
Be nice. Do not call him names. Do not react with violence.
"Thank you, Peeta," I say so evenly he raises his eyebrows.
"What? You're not going to hit me? Say I'm stupid?"
I sigh. "Not tonight. I've resolved to try and be a nice person."
"Do you think you can do it?"
"Possibly."
"Okay, then."
We stand there, grinning at each other. Then I reach forward and start unbuttoning his shirt. He raises his eyebrows.
"Anxious, are we?"
I glare at him. He laughs.
"Kidding…kidding…"
I nod. "Sure." Peeling the wet fabric off his skin, I throw it on the bank. "I'm sure you don't necessarily want to swim with your clothes on, do you?"
"You have clothes on."
I'm glad it's night so he can't see how scarlet I'm blushing.
"Barely," I remind him, then turn my back to him. "First, we're going to start with floating on your back, okay? It's easy."
Slowly, I ease myself up until I'm laying across the water, keeping my ears in the water, staring at the stars.
Peeta blocks my view a second later as he leans down and kisses my lips.
I immediately go underwater, inhaling some in the process. I come up coughing, while he watches me with an amused smile.
"Now we're even, Katniss."
I lurch forward and press my mouth to his, using all my strength to push him underwater. I come up before he does, laughing.
That quickly turns into a shriek as something underneath the water catches my ankle and swiftly tugs me under.
Peeta is there, waving at me. In the center of the lake.
All I can comprehend is panic. He's going to drown!
I swim forward, wrapping my arms around his shoulders, frantically trying to pull him up out of the water. After a few unsuccessful attempts, I finally manage to do so, dragging him back toward the bank.
He starts laughing as I run my hands over his face, asking if he's okay and does he need help? We can go see Haymitch.
"Katniss," he says in a reprimanding tone. "I learned to swim already, while I was in the Capitol with Dr. A. It was a part of my therapy."
I'm so surprised I nearly fall over. Peeta reaches out to steady me.
"But you…"
"Are fine," he says, grinning. "Shocked?"
I hit his shoulder with the heel of my hand. He smirks.
"I thought you were going to be nice, Katniss!"
I just glare at him in a huff, turning away. Peeta reaches out to catch my waist before I can go. He lifts me into his arms, gently pressing his lips to mine.
The kiss instantly invades every thought, emotion, and snarky reply I had before. His lips are so soft, so gentle, against mine. All I am able to comprehend is how warm this feels, especially standing in an extremely cold lake.
"Katniss," he whispers in between kisses. Just him saying my name makes my heart flutter. "I love you…"
"I love you, too," I say, then freeze.
Peeta pulls away. I instantly miss him. But he keeps his arms around me, which is nice. "What was that?"
I purse my lips and look down. "N-nothing."
"Oh," he says lightly, touching my cheek. "I think it was something."
I look up at him, reaching forward to kiss him. His arms hold me back.
"I'll let you kiss me…as soon as you repeat what you said."
"Peeta!" I whine. "C'mon. It's not a big deal."
"Oh, on the contrary, Katniss. It's a very big deal. Especially coming from you."
I sigh. "Fine…I said…ugh!"
Peeta looks at with concern. "Why is it so hard for you to say, Katniss?"
I swallow. "Because, I, uh…"
He kisses my forehead. "You know you can tell me."
"I know…" I say. My throat feels thick. "I just don't want me to have anyone else taken away that I love. You're too precious to ruin."
"Oh, Katniss," he whispers, pulling me close. We kiss.
"I love you, Peeta," I say under his lips. "So much."
His reply is mumbled because of the kiss but it sounds a lot like, "You too."
