Hey guys, sorry for the wait, but here's an eventful chapter for you!
I based this chapter on this scene from In Which We Meet Mr Jones:
LUCAS: I've known this for years. I screwed-up… with you.
OLIVIA: The timing wasn't right for either of us.
LUCAS: Yes it was. I know it was. But I was scared. And that's the - the God's honest truth. I think about you… so often and… I don't call because… because I'm ashamed of how I treated you.
I hope my interpretation sits right with you. Enjoy!
"You ready?"
"Hell yeah!"
"You?"
"Bring it on!"
"This is hilariously stupid," John whispered to Olivia as they watched Peter and Brandon warm up for a fight.
"I have to agree," Olivia replied. "But I'm not going to lie, I'm enjoying myself."
All the, small things
True care, truth brings
I'll take, one lift
Your ride, best trip
"You're so going down, man" Peter teased Brandon.
"Yeah? Well…well, you're going further down! Underground!" Brandon retorted.
Kent burst out laughing. "Dude, stop talking. Now come on, start the fight!"
They had been at the Academy for a month, now, so the Whitehorse had become a regular spot for their group of friends to hang out, and they often had it all to themselves. A week earlier, Peter had noticed Brandon working on a gadget for his computer science class and mentioned that he used to study at MIT. That night, the two of them had gotten into a dispute over the tip, so the guys decided to settle it the only way they knew how: a remote-control robot boxing match.
It was now a week later, and they had spent all their time building robots for the fight. Charlie was refereeing, unable to keep a straight face as he lent over the bar table. Peter and Brandon were giving each other mischievous death-stares as they set up their miniature robots on either side. Amy watched in awe of their immaturity, and said "I think I've been waiting for you people my whole life."
Astrid was recording the whole thing on camera. "This is so going on the internet," she smirked.
"They made a deal," Kent said. "If Brandon wins, we get a free round of drinks. If Peter wins, Brandon has to consume one of his mystery beverages."
"Oh, that can't be good," Olivia said. "Peter's made me some pretty toxic stuff in the past. And Brandon's even more of a lightweight than you, Kent."
"Hey!"
Always, I know
You'll be at my show
Watching, waiting, commiserating
Say it ain't so, I will not go,
turn the lights off, carry me home
"Since they're betting, shouldn't we be betting too?" John asked. "I mean, we're all hoping for our sake that we get a free round, but who do you think is actually going to win?"
"Brandon's a genius," Amy said, tossing a note on the table. "Twenty bucks on him for me."
"Same for me," said Astrid, and Kent followed close behind.
"I don't know," Olivia argued. "They're both geniuses. They designed they're own boxing robots, for crying out loud. Brandon's smart, but I think Peter makes a good underdog. Thirty bucks on Bishop."
"I'm with Liv," said John. "But I'm stingy, so I'm only betting twenty."
Charlie whistled to get their attention. "Alright, let's get down to business!"
"Come on!" said Kent. "Let's see some blood already!"
"Robots don't have blood, stupid," said Astrid. "Besides, if they did, they'd probably just bleed mercury."
"Enough!" Charlie shouted in mock seriousness. "This is a serious match, people. I want a good, clean fight, boys. Ready, set, GO!"
What followed could only be described as college-style insanity. The tiny robots hobbled towards each other and collapsed onto the table together, meanwhile drunken students huddled around and cheered them on, flinging bottle caps at them. Peter and Brandon were in the zone as they frantically thumbed their remotes, completely oblivious to anything but their tumbling gadgets. Eventually, Peter's robot defeated Brandon's, laying on top of it while its tiny mechanical arms bashed it up. Charlie wrenched them apart and declared Peter the winner, and as a result, Brandon had to down a double shot Red Russian mixed with a raw egg. Naturally, he was in the bathroom throwing up a short time later.
John and Olivia managed to split $100 of winnings between them, and they bought everyone drinks anyway. Olivia went up to Peter at the bar to go and get them.
Late night, come home
Work sucks, I know
She left me roses by the stairs
Surprises let me know she cares
"That was impressive," she said after she ordered for everyone.
"Why, thank you," Peter said in mock modesty. "I take a lot of pride in what I do."
"You told me you went to MIT but you never said you were actually good."
"So?"
"So why the hell did you leave?"
"The whole studying thing wasn't for me. I like learning and everything, but I always hated school."
"I can picture you as that kid who was always skipping class to go test out the latest recipes from the Anarchist's Cookbook under the bleachers."
He laughed. "Yeah, pretty much. My teachers were always saying I was wasting my potential."
"So did mine," she said.
He scoffed. "You? Wasting potential? I don't believe you."
"It's true, but not in the way you think. Because I worked hard and was kind of a loner everyone expected me to become a doctor or a lawyer or something. When they found out I was becoming a cop my teachers went nuts."
"What about your parents?"
"My Mum's proud of me and everything, but I think she'd feel better if I'd just become a schoolteacher or something, you know, safer. She's an army wife, you know? She knows I can handle the work but it's hard for her to watch someone put themselves out in danger like that again."
"And what does your Dad think?"
Olivia paused. Her lips sealed into a dry, weak smile, but Peter noticed that her eyes lost some of their light. "That's a story for another night," she said. "Thanks for the drinks." She gathered them up and started to walk back to their table.
"Here, let me give you a hand," Peter said, grabbing a few of the glasses for her.
"I can manage," she countered.
"I know," he said. "I'm just doing my job."
She couldn't argue with that, so she swallowed her pride. This was something she had to get used to. She had always been forced to prove herself – she was desperate to be taken seriously in her studies, particularly by men. Now that she was actually in the Academy, the other students treated her with the respect she'd always strived for. It was a difficult adjustment, knowing that now guys weren't talking down to her, and that when they were nice to her they weren't just trying to pick her up.
The group were having a great night - Peter brought over some cards so they all started showing off their best tricks. Peter startled them over and over again with his magic tricks, yet another thing that made him an awesome bartender. When Olivia revealed that she could count cards, he was impressed. "That's fantastic," he said. "Women never have card tricks."
"That's all I would do when I was a kid. I'm sure that if I was a child today, I would be diagnosed with something," she laughed.
Her phone rang and she excused herself as she answered it.
"Hello?"
"Olivia? It's Lucas."
She felt relieved. She hadn't spoken to him in ages, and when she had, it was always her calling him. "Hey. What's going on?"
"We need to talk. It's important. Do you have a minute?"
She bit her lip, and Peter noticed her looking uncomfortable as she began to rise from her seat. "Sure," she said. "Just give me a sec to find somewhere quiet."
Peter called after her as she walked away. "Is everything OK, Livia?"
She looked back to him and saw a slight but tender concern on his face. "Yeah," she said lightly, though her face didn't match her expression. "I'm sure it's nothing."
She wandered outside the bar and found a bench on the street to sit on. "OK, Lucas, I'm all yours. What's wrong?"
She heard him take a breath. "Olivia, I'm being deployed in two weeks. I just…thought you'd want to know."
She closed her eyes. Damn it. "Where?"
"Germany first. Then probably Iraq or Afghanistan. I'll be gone a long time."
Olivia gave herself some time to absorb the gravity of his statement. She knew this day would come eventually, but she always though there'd be more time. "You know I meant what I said the other day, right? About waiting for you?"
"That's the thing, Olivia," He sighed again. "I really wish you wouldn't do that."
This startled her. "What are you talking about Lucas? You're my boyfriend; of course I'll wait for you."
"You really shouldn't. Maybe it'd be better if we just stopped this now."
"Stopped…Lucas, what are you trying to say?" She was pacing now, her spare hand running through her hair. This was ridiculous, she thought. They'd been best friends for years, even before they decided to admit to each other that it was more than that. How could he just decide enough was enough?
"You should move on, Olivia. That's what I'm trying to say," he said, his voice rising now. "First I had to go away for training, then you had to move to Virginia, now I'm going to fucking Germany. This isn't going to work, Olivia. It can't. Not now, not ever. Just forget about me, forget we ever had anything, and you can go live your life in Quantico. That's what you always wanted anyway."
"You bastard," she spat. She'd tried to keep her mouth shut as best as she could, because she knew if she didn't she was going to lose it – majorly. "I can understand you doing this because we're in a relationship, but as my friend? My best friend, Lucas? This is bullshit!"
"You were never just my friend, Olivia! You know that! I was always more invested in this than you. I was always the one chasing you when you were scared of losing your precious independence. I had always loved you, damn it. Every day. It's all or nothing for me. If we can't really be together then there's just no point in trying."
"Why do you get to decide that? Don't I have a say in this at all?"
"Come on, Olivia! How long would you wait? A month? A year? Five years? There's going to be a war, and it's gonna get ugly. I might not even make it back at all. Do you think I want that? Do you think I want to have you waiting for me while I go into the desert with a target on my head and die just like your Dad - "
"Don't you dare make this about my father, Lucas! And stop making it out like you're doing this for me. What you're doing, you're doing for yourself. Just stop lying to me."
"You want the truth, Olivia? The truth is we're both idiots for getting into this mess in the first place. We both knew this was inevitable. We knew it for a long time. So if you really want to blame me, go ahead, but blame yourself too, because it's just as much your fault as it is mine."
"You're so full of shit, Lucas."
When he spoke again, his tone was softer. "Look, you can wait for me as long as you want, but I'm not doing this with you, Olivia. It'll be years before we see each other again – if we ever see each other again. I've been thinking about this for a while, I just didn't have the heart to tell you until we knew for sure I was being sent over there. As far as I'm concerned, there's no way that this can end well. So I'm sorry, Olivia - you can fight it and wait all you want, but the fact of the matter is…I'm not gonna be waiting for you."
That was it. That was when she broke. Olivia Dunham was not a beggar, but she had to bite on her lip just to stop herself from crying and begging him not to leave her. She could feel her body start to crumble – her eyes moistening, her throat tightening, the protests in her head turning into caterwauls. "Lucas, please…" she choked. "You can't…I understand that this can't work as a relationship, but you're my best friend. Lucas, I…I just want to go back to before."
Some thousands of miles away, she heard him sigh and whisper, "I don't think we can, Olivia. I'm sorry."
And that was it. The dial tone pierced her brain, and he was gone again. And this time he wasn't coming back. Her body felt like it was stuck in inertia. Had that really happened? Did he mean what he said? She scrunched her eyes and paced furiously, not sure what to do with her hands – whether to punch something or cradle herself. She charged back inside the bar to get her shoulder bag and say goodbye to the others. She didn't know what she was going to do about this, but she needed to be by herself to figure it out. As she approached the table, she put on her best poker face and said, "Look guys, it's been fun hanging out tonight but that PT session today really wore me out. I think I'm just going to head back to the room. I'll see you guys on the weekend, though, OK?"
"Are you sure you're alright, Livvy?" asked Charlie. "Coz I can come back with you if you want."
"Thanks, but I'll be OK. I'm just really tired," she said as she exited the bar, leaving the others somewhat convinced except for John, Charlie and Peter, who all exchanged looks.
"I'll go," Peter said to them, and he followed Olivia outside. "Hey!" he called out to her.
She didn't stop. "Aren't you supposed to be working?" she snapped as she kept walking.
"Olivia!" She stopped but didn't turn around. He caught up with her and tried to make eye contact, though she was resisting him. "What happened?" he asked. "Are you crying?"
"Don't." she spat. "Just…don't."
"Look," he said gently. "I know you need your space. I'm just reminding you that if you ever decide you want to talk about it, I'm there - John and Charlie, too."
She glared at him. "You know, just coz you're my bartender, doesn't mean you have to pretend like we're friends or something. Just leave me alone."
He was taken aback. All of them had been hanging out at his bar non-stop for the past month. He liked to think they were all friends by now, even if he wasn't at the Academy too. Still, he reminded himself that something external was going on with her and swallowed his frustration. "Listen to me, Olivia. I have no idea what just happened to you, but whatever it was had nothing to do with me. So like I said, when you're ready to stop being such a spitfire, feel free to come over and vent. My door is always open. Or at least talk to Charlie."
"Yeah," she mumbled, and walked away, leaving him in a standstill, watching her go. She eventually made her way back to her room and hopped out onto The Ledge. She sat there on the edge of the concrete, allowing herself to feel the weight of what had just happened. Night descended on the woods she had grown to love, but she couldn't have felt farther from home. She was shivering, but barely noticed the cool night air. She was oblivious to everything else in the world as she sat on the concrete, all alone, sobbing into her shaking hands.
Poor Olivia… Please review!
Song lyrics are from All the Small Things by Blink 182
