skating babies on jelly skates


A heatwave- that's what the weatherman predicted. Smiled his perfectly bleached incisors and said, "It's going to be hot as hell!"

In the fish-bowl of the apartment, Elsa felt like an insect under the magnifying glass. Sat at the kitchen counter poring over her English homework, she gnawed on the end of her pencil, unsticking her t-shirt from her gummy skin.

"It's no good. I can't concentrate," she said, slumping against the counter, forehead pressed to the cool granite work surface.

The voice from below agreed. "It's. Too. Damn. Hot," her sister said.

Elsa pushed herself up on her sticky palms to look at her. The fridge sat wide open and Anna had propped herself against it, head lolled back by the pro-biotic yoghurt and a custard trifle.

"Isn't that wasting electricity?" Elsa said.

Anna opened her eyes and raised an eyebrow at Elsa. Right, Elsa remembered.

She watched as Anna languidly pushed herself up, twisting round to grab something off the shelf. "Here. Catch."

The coke can sailed through Elsa's open hands and hit her in the chest. She fumbled to catch it before it could roll off her lap. Anna threw her head back laughing, and knocked the trifle off the shelf. Splat! It made a huge custardy mess all over the floor and sprayed up the side of the fridge door.

"Crap," said Anna.

Elsa covered the sound with her hand, but it slipped through her fingers: she started giggling and she couldn't stop.

"Hey! It's not funny," said Anna, before she noticed she noticed the custard sprayed up her leg. "Okay. Maybe it is." With one finger, she tried a bit. "Not bad," she said in approval.

Elsa slipped from the stool with the horrible feeling of bare skin sticking and peeling from the metal seat. She grabbed a whole wadge of kitchen roll from the counter. "Let me help."

"Thanks."

For some minutes now, Elsa could hear the dull murmur of voices down the hall from the study. As she got down on her knees and handed Anna the kitchen roll, the murmur became a rumble.

"-I've already told you. You are not leaving for Canada next week-" Idun's voice split through the grey sound. Opposite her, wiping the custard off the fridge, Anna flinched.

Elsa heard her father say something in reply, more calmly, his words background television noise.

"-I don't care if it's a business thing. You only went away a fortnight ago. You're a selfish man! How can you leave everything to me?"

She couldn't catch her father's reply, just the word Gerda.

"And do you expect Gerda to raise our daughter, too?" Idun's voice rose. "What about Anna?"

Her sister stood abruptly. She made her start when she kicked the fridge door closed. The commotion was clear to see in her body: the way she raked her hair back; the curl of her fingers; the relentless agitating of her foot. "C'mon, Elsa. Let's go out."

Elsa put down the kitchen roll. "Where?"

"- you always pretend that you're the good guy. That I'm the one causing trouble. But-"

The excited jiggle of her knee. "Don't know. Shopping," she said.

"-let me tell you something. You are not the good guy-"

"Okay," Elsa said quickly.


On the underground, it was sweltering. Jammed between Anna and a man with a guitar case jabbing into her sides, she clung on to the handhold. The cold coke can, wet with condensation, she pressed against her clammy neck.

The wind that gusted through the tunnels to the escalator was warm; stagnant. On sizzling tarmac they pounded the pavements; an old piece of gum, melted to play-dough, attached itself to the bottom of Elsa's shoe.

Inside the shopping centre, however, it was blissfully cool.

"Air conditioning," Anna breathed.

The shops her sister wanted to look in were the kind Elsa would never have even set foot in. Clean; sleek; an shop assistant waiting to greet them with crisp blouse and neatly clasped hands.

"Is there anything in particular you're looking for today Ma'am?" she asked Elsa, Anna barrelling off inside. Elsa looked after her helplessly.

"Um, we're fine. Thank you," she mumbled at her feet, sure she could feel the elegant woman looking at her disparagingly. She hurried off after Anna.

She was holding out a t-shirt. As Elsa approached, she spun towards her. "Hey, you should try this one on Elsa. I bet it'd look cute on you."

Elsa picked up the dangling price tag, her eyes widening. "I'll pass," she said, letting it drop.

"Elsa." Anna was giving her that look again. From her purse she whipped out a piece of plastic and waved it around. "We've got American Express."

Just because you've got money doesn't mean you have to spend it though, she thought.

"C'mon. Just try it on," Anna said.

She shook her head. "I like my clothes," she said, tugging at her favourite t-shirt. Her mum bought it for her a few years ago from Oxfam. It was blue and had a picture of the cookie monster. It was faded now from the amount of times it'd gone through the wash, and there was a hole under her armpit, but apart from that there was nothing wrong with it.

Anna gave her a look that said, "Really?" and Elsa stared hard at her shoelaces.

Way to make yourself look like a total dork, Elsa, she berated herself. I don't belong here. I ought to just go home.

Except that, the home she was thinking of didn't exist any more.

"Elsa! Come look at this one!" Elsa started. Stood by another rail, Anna was holding a dress to herself. "What do you think?" she asked.

They spent almost an hour in the shop, Anna throwing half their stock over her arm to try on. Elsa didn't mind so much. She sat on the cool seat opposite the changing rooms, appreciating the air conditioning. The shop assistant ran around grabbing different sizes for Anna. Whoosh! The curtains flew open and Anna appeared, posed on one upheld sultry leg, draped in a red figure hugging dress that showcased her petite frame. "What do you think?" she said, pivoting on her kitten heels to give Elsa a twirl, sequins flashing.

"Will you be allowed to wear that?" Elsa asked.

"I don't see who's going to stop me," she replied. "Though... now we just need to get invited to a party so I can wear it."

When she'd finally done the shop assistant scanned through the huge pile of clothes and Anna whipped out her credit card.

They didn't stop there, however. At the next store Anna spent almost eight hundred pounds on shoes. Eight hundred pounds! Two months rent for her and her mother. On shoes.

Despite being weighed down like a packhorse, bags hanging off every spare finger, there was a spring in Anna's step. She chewed gum rhythmically. She hopped up onto the wall bordering the pavement and walked it like a tight-rope. She laughed aloud. All Elsa could think was: What a waste. If her sister noticed her quiet demeanour, however, she didn't show it. The more shops they visited, the more flashes of her American Express card, the bigger bounce in her step. Her eyes shined. Her cheeks were flushed. Later, they stopped and bought nasty, sugary coffee for four pounds a cup. Ate powdered doughnuts that left them with sticky fingers. In the jewellers, Anna made the assistant take out almost every single bracelet behind the glass cabinet and then decided she didn't like any of them. She played leapfrog over the bollards and broke a real corral necklace she'd bought just minutes before.

And Elsa felt like she wasn't really there. She could feel her legs moving, feel the sweat pooling at her neck, the stone rattling in her shoe. And at the same time: she wasn't really there at all.

The two of them took a brief respite on a bench outside the shopping centre, in full sun, so Anna could rub her reddening feet, sore already from wearing her sharp new heels. A sea of shopping bags surrounded them. And Elsa suddenly realised that Anna wasn't smiling any more.

The manic shine from her eyes had dimmed. She sat with her her ankle crossed over her leg, foot cupped in her palm, staring out. She seemed to be looking very far way.

Elsa spoke softly: "Shall we go home now?"

Anna didn't say anything; just shook her head.

Wiping the sheen from her brow, Elsa looked up across the street to see the entrance to the twelve screen multiplex. "I bet it'd be nice and cool in the cinema," she said.

"What did you want to see?"

"I don't know. I don't know what's out right now."

How many years had it been since she last went to the cinema? At her enthusiasm, the smile returned to Anna's face. "Yeah, let's go see something! I heard the new movie is out with that actress. You know, the blond one, who wears her hair like this. Y'know, from that film with the alien killer ants..."

In the cinema, after finding a film they both liked the sound of, Anna thrust a handful of crisp notes into her hand and ran to the bathroom. "Get our tickets, Elsa!"

Elsa pulled at the loose hem of her shirt. Tickets... right.

How exactly did you buy a cinema ticket?

She had vague memories with her mother, but that had been a long time ago. Elsa hesitated, and joined the line at the kiosk, craning close to the couple of front of her. "Hey, two student tickets for the Planet of the Apes film. Cheers," she heard the boy say.

Sweat broke out on her brow. What kind of tickets do we need? Student tickets? Or is that just for university students? Are we classified as children still?

"Can I help you?"

She started. The couple had moved on and the girl behind the counter was staring at her. She raked her hand through her hair, fingers snagging on a knot. "He-hey. Um, two student tickets for How to Dragon your Train- I mean- how to Train your Dragon 2. Please."

"Have you got your student union card?"

She felt all the heat in her body rise to her face. "Um- I-"

"I'm afraid I'll have to put you down as adults if you don't have your ID," the girl said.

Relief flooded Elsa like ice cold water. "Fine," she gasped. "I mean- that's fine."

The girl gave her an odd look. "That'll be sixteen fifty all together then please."

"R-right." Fumbling the wad of crumpled notes Anna gave her, she somehow even managed to drop one. "Sorry!" She tried to unfold a crinkly five pound note, but her fingers were trembling too hard. She felt the girl's eyes on her, no doubt wondering what was wrong with her. A boy behind her laughed aloud, and giving up on the exact change, she slammed a twenty note down on the counter.

She was so ashamed and embarrassed she couldn't even meet the girl's eyes as she gave her her change and printed out their tickets.

"You're in screen seven. Enjoy the movie," the girl said. Elsa heard it as though from underwater.

"Th-thanks," she mumbled. By the time she stumbled blindly back into Anna, who was clutching a bag of popcorn and grinning, Elsa was pushing back tears.

What's wrong with me?

"Hope you don't mind salted. Did you get the- hey... what's up?"

Elsa furiously wiped the tears away with the backs of her hands. "Nothing."

"Well it can't have been nothing if you're crying. C'mon. What happened?" Gently, she touched her arm. Elsa fought off the base instinct not to flinch away.

Everyone here thinks I'm a total weirdo now, that's all, she thought.

"Was someone a jerk to you? Tell me and I'll destroy them for you." To demonstrate, she drove her fist into her palm with a satisfying smack.

No one had ever offered to destroy someone for her before. It was surprisingly comforting.

She released a small hiccup of laughter. "It's fine. I'm f-fine." To Anna's raised eyebrow of disbelief, she lied, "Really! I was just... being an idiot, that's all. Can we go see the movie now? Please?"

"You're sure you're okay?"

She was sure she wanted out of this cripplingly embarrassing situation. "Yeah."

"Alright then..."

They made it inside their screening just as the trailers started. Inside, it was cool and dark, the screen just under half full. All around them she could hear the rustle of popcorn and crisps. When the lights dimmed, she turned round to watch the faces in the dark.

The movie was a good one, and by the end she'd gotten completely involved in the story; her tense shoulders relaxed and she forgot about what happened earlier. When the credits rolled, she felt like she was snapping out of a trance.

"That was great!" she said. Anna nodded animatedly.

"Hey, Elsa..."

"Yeah?"

Elsa noticed something strange in her eyes. Anna played with the end of one of her braids.

"Do you think maybe... we could see another one?" Her eyes conveyed what she couldn't say in words: I don't want to go home. Not yet.

"Sure..." said Elsa.

The next movie was terrible. In the best possible way. Clearly everybody else had got the memo, because the screen was completely empty apart from the two of them. There was a liberating feeling about having a whole screen to yourself. Laps full of bags of m&m's and skittles from the concession stand, they munched handfuls of minstrels, fingers bumping against one another in the bag, laughing aloud.

Anna threw a handful of rainbow m&m's. They hit the screen with the sound of pebbles down a quarry. "You suck! Why did you make this movie?" she called.

"Is that a good idea?" asked Elsa, twisting round to peer at the little hole where the projection came through.

"It's just you and me here, right?" said Anna, before she bellowed, "SO WE CAN DO WHATEVER WE WANT!"

Elsa couldn't help it. She laughed, smothering the sound under her hand.

"Now you try," said Anna.

"Me?"

"Yeah. Yell something. As loud as you can."

Elsa hesitated. "Like what?"

"Like CHEESE CRACKERS IN ALMOND PASTE, or whatever. Whatever you feel like."

"I don't think I-"

"Don't think. Just yell," said Anna.

"But what for?"

"Geez. You ask so many questions. But y'know Elsa, there comes a time in life when you gotta stop asking questions and start shouting in the cinema about LIVE LOBSTERS IN BRINE SAUCE AND SEVEN BLIND MICE!"

She laughed. "You're crazy." And then: "Just yell about anything?"

"Yeah. Just fucking let it go."

Elsa hesitated a second longer, and then took a deep breath. "RICE CRISPY CAKES!" she yelled, feeling ridiculous. Anna nodded at her approvingly. Encouraged, she shouted, "JELLY BABIES! NUNS ON ROLLER SKATES!

Wow. This did feel good.

"JELLY NUNS ON BABY SKATES!" shouted Anna.

"SKATING BABIES ON JELLY SKATES!"

"Jelly skates?" laughed Anna. "How would you skate on jelly skates? You'd just wobble off."

"These are skating babies," said Elsa, raising a pointed eyebrow. "If they're talented enough to learn how to skate, jelly skates will be a cinch for them."

Elsa looked at Anna; Anna looked at Elsa. The both of them burst into hysterics. Her sister buried her face in Elsa's shoulder, body racked with laughter.

When the laughter stopped, she let her head lay there a little longer. "Say, Elsa..." she said, after a long time passed, "why do things have to be the way they are?"

She wished she knew the answer to that question, too.

By the time they left the cinema, it was almost sunset. The heat of the day had begun to recede and everything was bathed a golden-yellow. They walked out, squinting against the light. Their eyes had adjusted to the dark.