A/N: I miss writing. My computer went BAM and I was like, WTFOMGHLYSHIT and I cried. Kidding about the crying. I just used my PSP to go on my neighbor's router which is next to my room (my room and their house are next to each other), so all I could do is read and review. How sad. I got it fixed :D.
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Shizuru didn't want to, but she felt a pang of guilt when she found out that Natsuki lived in such a cramped apartment near the city, and it was quite loud at night, unlike Shizuru who lived in the apartments near the beach. But she found it nice that Natsuki and Naota seemed like a good family.
"Come on Naota, Get some bags," Natsuki said, as she opened her door and slid out of the back seat. Naota followed her, and Shizuru opened her trunk so Natsuki could get their bags. Shizuru helped out with the bags that had chosen to pull out, and closed her trunk when they were finished.
"Thanks Ms. Fuji- ehm…Shizuru…" Natsuki muttered, a blush appearing on her cheeks as Shizuru eyed the younger girl with a simple grin. Natsuki picked up three bags, and Naota picked up too, and were about to leave when Shizuru called for them.
No words were spoken when Shizuru took two bags from Natsuki , and gave her the I'm-Going-To-Help-You-And-Nothing-Will-Change-my-Mind look, which made Natsuki chuckle lightly. The three went into the elevator, feeling a bit cramped because of the bags that took up a lot of room, but soon got comforted to the small elevator.
Natsuki leaned against the elevator wall, and listened to the music. This time the song was playing La Valse D'Amelie, from the French Movie Amelie. "Natsuki, Have you watched the movie Amelie?" Shizuru asked, making Natsuki surprised that the English teacher had watched a French Movie. Natsuki shook her head, before replying.
"No, However, I have heard the song from it. I've never bothered to watch the movie before. Why?"
Shizuru simple shrugged and smiled, not answering back because the elevator had reached the 5th floor. Shizuru followed after Naota and Natsuki, who went down the hallway until they stopped. Natsuki unlocked the door, and was surprised to find the lights on. She was about to scold herself for leaving the lights on until she realized her father was sitting on the chair with a glass of water.
He wore a white shirt and blue shorts, and looked surprisingly young for someone who was approaching 40. Natsuki's father, Nodoma Kuga, looked at Natsuki and Naota and smiled wearily. "Welcome back," he stated with his low voice. He quirked an eyebrow when he saw Shizuru, and looked at Natsuki for an anwer. "Why, hello there ma'am, Natsuki, who this fine young lady?"
Shizuru smiled, and politely bowed towards Natsuki's father, who seemed gentle. Judging by his scent, recently shaved beard, and wet curly hair, he had just taken a shower. "Hello Sir, I am Natsuki's English Teacher. Well, temporarily, I'm just substituting for now. My name is Shizuru Fujino, and you are Natsuki's father, Nodoma Kuga?" Nodoma nodded, and Shizuru went on. "Well sir, I met Natsuki and her brother at the Super Market, so I decided to give them a ride back. I'm sorry if I'm intruding into your household sir."
The old man let out a low chuckle, something Natsuki seemed to have aqquired, and smiled and shook Shizuru's hand. "No need to be polite, I'm the one who should be. And call me Nodoma, please, sir makes me feel old. A beautiful girl teaching my baby-girl," Nodoma laughed at the blush that quickly spread onto his daughter's cheeks, "That's just amazing. Naota, how do you like Miss Fujino here?"
Naota grinned and started to speak excitedly. "Otou-san, Shi-chan is awesome! She's really nice to me, she drove me and Natsuki to the park so I could play, and she's really pretty…Ne, Shi-chan, will you marry me?" Naota said, obviously serious, but Natsuki and Shizuru laughed at the boy's innocence.
"When your older, I'll decide then." The answer came out of Shizuru's mouth before she even thought about it, and she quickly covered her mouth, sending apologetic glances to the family. Natsuki looked down, and decided to put the groceries away, and Naota rushed to help her, not knowing what was happening. Shizuru and Nodoma stood there, in an awkward silence.
"I didn't mean to say that…" Shizuru apologized, but Nodoma just shook his head and gave her a fatherly smile.
"No, no, its okay. I'm guessing you know about Naota's leukemia?" Shizuru nodded. "Its okay…Its not like you caused it. You don't have to be sorry." Nodoma reassured the Shizuru, but she still looked down with guilt. Nodoma put his hand on her shoulder and looked at her with a weary smile. "Its okay, don't feel bad."
"But…" Shizuru sighed, knowing that no matter what anyone said, she'd feel bad still. She looked at Nodoma's tired green eyes, a darker version of Natsuki's, and in his eyes, she knew that he was already going through much pain.
"Oh, Otou-san…" Natsuki said, causing Nodoma to look at Natsuki. Natsuki walked over to him and pulled out his rice ball and he smiled, and bowed as a thank you. Natsuki just smiled, and said, "Well, your always welcome. I'll always have a third set of foood waiting for you. Plus, Otou-san, this is one of the few times I see you up and sober," Natsuki joked.
Nodoma let out that chuckle and shook his head in amusement, and sighed. "I'm sorry, I'm starting to cut back on drinking. You want me to take care of the rent today? I got some extra cash from my paycheck, and If I keep it we all know where its going."
Naota jumped up, his eyes widened. "Where?! Where Is the money going?! I gotta' find it!" Everyone burst out laughing, except Naota, who tilted his head in confusion. Nodoma just gave him a smile and ruffled his hair, and bent down to kiss his forehead.
"Aside from you and your sister's bank accounts I made for you two, and your college money, it goes to the bills, and to Santa for this years toys." Naota's eyes lit up and he cheered and gave everyone his cheerful smile. "Yes! This time I want a bike like Tsu-chan's!" he cheered, and ran to Shizuru and put his small hands on her thigh.
"Ne, Shi-chan, what do you want for Christmas?" Naota asked, curiously. He knew his dad and Natsuki never answered him when he asked so he would try his hardest to get them, but maybe he could try to get his new older friend something.
Shizuru put a finger to her chin, and thought for a moment. She hadn't celebrated Christmas ever since she left, but it didn't mean she stopped. She just was too busy in her years of college. Shaking the thoughts of her being alone, Shizuru looked at Naota's eyes that was examining her. Shizuru smiled, and crouched so she was eye to eye with Naota.
"Hmm, aside from you being my future 'husband'," she said while poking his nose and getting a blush and a giggle from him, "I want…I want your sister to smile more for Christmas." Shizuru than turned her head to look at Natsuki, who was just standing there with a new expression Shizuru hadn't seen. It may have looked like she was bored, but when Shizuru looked into the younger girl's eyes, she saw curiosity.
"So, Natsuki, will you?" Shizuru questioned as she stood up. Natsuki shrugged, but gave Shizuru a small smile. "I take that as a hopeful yes." Shizuru laughed. "Anyways, its late so I should leave, should I not? Bye, I'll see you tomorrow at school Natsuki, bye Nodoma-san, and bye Naota." Shizuru said, giving the small boy a hug. She waved at the older two, and smiled at Natsuki, before leaving.
Just as Shizuru was about to leave, Natsuki felt a nudge at her shoulder and saw her father push her lightly to Shizuru, and mouthing the words, 'Walk her to her car stupid,' and Natsuki just gave him that look with disbelief, but her father's silly grin made her smile. 'Fine' she mouthed back, and grabbed Shizuru's shoulder, gently pulling her back.
"Umm…I'll walk you to your car since the parking lot is across the street," Natsuki said, ", and its not good to be walking around here when its dark." She said. Shizuru smiled brightly at her, and nodded. Naota smiled and waved his arm, and said, "Bring me to the park again, Shi-chan! Or come back again!" he said with his big usual smile.
Shizuru waved back and she and Natsuki left the apartment room.
Nodoma started to eat his food, and looked at Naota. "Miss Shizuru seems like a nice person, does she not?" Naota nodded, and smiled. "She's really really cool! Plus, she made Tsu-chan smile a lot. I think I trust her."
"I do too…let's just hope Natsuki opens up to someone finally, alright?"
Naota nodded and Nodoma ruffled his hair and laughed. "Let's go watch cartoons before Natsuki tells us to sleep, kay?" Naota cheered and ran to the tv in the living room and switched it on to the cartoons that were still on. Nodoma took a seat next to his little boy, and smiled, enjoying their time together.
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Shizuru and Natsuki walked down the hallway to the elevator, in silence. "Umm…Shizuru…I think you're good luck."
Raising an eyebrow, Shizuru looked at Natsuki at confusion. "Why so, Natsuki?" Shizuru watched Natsuki scratch her cheek, and look at Shizuru in the eye. "Well, one thing for sure, usually its rare to see my dad better. But it look like he hasn't drank the whole day, and I haven't really seen him that much anymore, and that's happened since you came…so…" This is a lame excuse…Just to see my own brother smile, "You should come again. And Naoto really likes you, and I like seeing him smile. He doesn't really trust adults as much, especially since what's happened with mom, but after a while he got used to them, but he's not as friendly to them except you so…yeah…"
Shizuru let out a laugh and smiled. "Since you bought a ton of microwavable food, how about I make dinner for you guys tomorrow since it's a Friday, and before that…how about me, you, and Naota go see a movie? Your dad could come too, but he doesn't look like he'd be interested in watching a kid movie…"
"That's cool. I guess we can go then." Natsuki said as the two entered the elevator. Since it was already 7 pm, a Jazz tune was playing the hallway, one that must have been new since Natsuki couldn't name it. She could always ask the Landlord for the CD, and she made a note to remember that. The two listened to the beat, and talked about random stuff.
"Hey Shizuru, what are you going to do after this year? I mean, your just substituting…" Natsuki said, and watched Shizuru to make an answer. Shizuru thought, putting her finger up to her chin, and smiled.
"I majored in psychology, but I'm not sure of what I really want to be. Maybe I'll actually become a teacher…Kindergarten. I think I'd be a kindergarten teacher, and if I wanted to, I'll move up if I feel the need to." Shizuru said, thinking of teaching young children.Ahh, chubby cheeks…must pinch…hehehe Shizuru thought, then shaking her childish thought out of her head.
Natsuki nodded, and smiled. "That's cute…" Shizuru turned to look at Natsuki in surprise, who realized what she said and blushed hard. "I-I m-mean cool! That's cool…yeah…" she stuttered, making Shizuru giggle. Natsuki felt embarrassed, but happy to see Shizuru laugh like that. She curved her lips upward, giving her that smile that Shizuru seemed to like, and Shizuru stopped laughing just to look at it.
"You really should do that more often."
"Make you laugh?"
Shizuru shook her head, but laughed again, and said, "No, smile. It's a good Christmas present. Tell me Natsuki, what do you want for your Christmas?" Shizuru asked, looking at the younger girl who tilted her head the same way Naota did when he was confused. Shizuru giggled at the sight, and Natsuki just rolled her eyes and thought more, and smiled.
"I think…I think…" Natsuki's smile dropped, and she just remained looking up. I think I want Naota to be here still by next Christmas… she said silently in her head, and finally, it all just hit her.
"He's going to die. He won't make it to Christmas…" Natsuki stated, her eyes becoming empty, and she slid slowly to the floor onto her but, and clutched her head, grabbing it tight to focus on the pain she gave to herself than the pain in her heart. But it wasn't enough, and the ache in her heart just hurt more and more and she finally cried since learning Naota had leukemia the year before. She was happy he was still fine, but he was getting worst everyday. He was losing hair, and even if he didn't show it, he was getting more tired and more weak.
He was hurting more, and it pained Natsuki to see him still smile. Shizuru dropped to her knees and took Natsuki, enveloping her into a hug. "Ssh, I'm sorry…I bring up bad things…I'm sorry…" she cooed, stroking the back of Natsuki's head, hoping to calm the girl down. Natsuki didn't say anything, she was too busy from silently sobbing. After a minute, Natsuki's quiet sobs seemed to recede, and she sat back, with Shizuru's arms still around her neck. Readjusting herself, Natsuki lay her head on Shizuru's shoulder, and sighed.
"Why do things have to be like this…"
I know, it isn't fair…
"The world is like this, Natsuki…"
To see you, to have you this close, to have you broken…
"Its fucked up."
Should it hurt this much? To have feelings for a girl...for a student...
"I know. It really is..."
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TBC.
I keep lying! Dang it, I promise I'll update Hostage once I get to the more happier chapters of this story. I guess you could say I'm not in the best of moods to be writing a smexyful chapter. But I promise, I'll make it smex-tastic.
Review, my lovely readers. I will hand out free particles of matter from some type of organism.
