Chapter 7: Revelations continued

Upon entering the tavern, Alistair looked for Starr. He saw Lloyd frowning behind the counter, a number of townspeople celebrating, and the Warden with the rest of their group. He did not see Starr. Strolling over to Elissa, he updated her on the situation at the castle and reassured her that they would be fine. He tried to be unobtrusive as he searched the tavern, but he didn't fool Elissa.

"She's not here, Alistair." Elissa was amused as Alistair tried to pretend he didn't know what she was talking about. "Alistair, relax. She came; she talked to Bella, the two of them left."

"After she dealt with the bartender," Sten added.

The look Elissa gave Sten should have turned him to stone. Alistair looked at the two of them, and asked why Lloyd had to be 'dealt with.' Griffon just put his head down and placed his paws over his snout.

"It's not a big deal – "

"Your friend took exception to where he was placing his hands," Sten calmly explained before turning his attention to his sword. Alistair scowled and turned his head to glare at Lloyd.

"Alistair," Elissa said calmly, "Starr dealt with Lloyd very effectively; he won't be groping Bella or another woman any time soon."

Alistair looked at Elissa, "Bella," he repeated after her. She nodded her head. "He was bothering Bella and Starr put a stop to it." Elissa nodded again. Alistair breathed in and out, calming himself. "Well, I should be getting back before Morrigan turns somebody into a toad for smiling at her. See you in a day or two." He turned around and walked out, stopping to have a quick word with Lloyd on the way. Elissa and the others watched with interest as Lloyd turned white, then green as he watched Alistair leave. Elissa looked at Wynne and grinned. Wynne's eyes twinkled in response. Leliana joined them a few minutes later and they headed off.

Alistair slowly walked back to the castle. He needed to think. Seeing Starr again raised a whole lot of feelings, old ones and new ones. He remembered how close they were as children. Maker, he loved spending time with her and her family. They always made him feel welcome, not a burden, not an obligation, not a pest. So many times, he wished they were his family and he lived with them instead of in the castle hiding from Isolde and trying not to disappoint Arl Eamon. It felt good to feel that connection with somebody again. And now they were both grown up. By the Maker, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He remembered how she had felt in his arms, with a slim waist but curvy and solid. A man would have to be 20 years dead not to feel attracted to her. He liked what he had seen of her, how she conducted herself and treated people, especially her son. She was somebody he wanted to get to know and hopefully build on their friendship from years ago.

He entered the castle, and decided he should see how Morrigan was doing, and if she needed anything before looking for Starr. Morrigan was entertaining herself by keeping Isolde as far away from Connor as she could. She told Alistair that she couldn't believe she had found somebody more irritating than he was. Having discharged his duty until that night, he went downstairs in search of Starr and heard somebody coming out of Arl Eamon's office. It was Bann Teagan and Starr. Her hand was on his arm and they were talking and smiling. He got close enough to hear her say, "Thank you, Teagan. You've been so good us since we moved to Redcliffe." She kissed him on the cheek and turned away. As she did so, she saw Alistair and grinned. "Alistair, I was about to go to down to the kitchen, do you want to come? I have some cheese waiting."

"That sounds good, I'll be there soon." He reminded himself that they were just friends and Teagan was a good man. If Teagan made her happy, he would be happy for her. He refused to acknowledge that he felt any jealousy at all. He nodded to Teagan and made his way to the kitchen. There he found Starr, Bella and Kaitlyn cleaning, taking inventory, and monitoring something in a large pot over the fire. All of a sudden, he realized he was starving. He wandered over to the pot to see what was cooking. He was very disappointed to see that it was just water.

Bella smiled at his look of disappointment. "Starr, there is a man here who looks like he will keel over if he doesn't get something to eat."

Starr looked up, "Sorry Stair, we have a lot of cleaning to do before we can start cooking, and we need hot water for that. Here's the cheese I promised," Alistair perked up at that, "walk with me to the village? I'll see how Marcail and Bevin are faring with the Revered Mother, and then you can help me bring some of my own supplies back here so we can start preparing food."

"Real food? Hot food? Food I don't have to cook? Of course I'll come with you." Alistair ignored Bella and Kaitlyn snickering in the background. "And it will give us a chance to talk without impending doom interrupting."

"Too true. Bella, I think we should start with this table. Give it a good scouring so I have a clean surface to work on when I get back, and then start on the counters. I'll bring my own pots and pans for cooking, for now. So Kaitlyn, after the table is clean would you start washing dishes and utensils? Even if they look clean, it gives me the creeps thinking that dead hands may have touched them, eeuw. I'll be back soon."

Stair and Starr headed out of the kitchen and down to village. "So," Alistair began, "you and Teagan seem to be getting along well. I saw you coming out of Eamon's office. Teagan's a good man."

"Yes, he is. He was very kind and helpful when Marcail and I first came to Redcliffe. He introduced me to the couple who own, owned, the village store. They needed help and didn't want to move back in to the rooms over the store. They were quite happy in their house, but couldn't afford to pay very much. Teagan introduced us, they got the help they needed and in return, I received a small amount of pay plus a place to live. Marcail has lessons at the Chantry with some of the other children in the village and does small chores at the store. It was a good arrangement."

"Was a good arrangement? Did they, did they die in the attacks?" Alistair quietly asked.

Starr nodded. "They were good people. And they positively adored Marcail. They were like grandparents to him, they took care of Marcail during the day while I was at Ostagar and Bella stayed with him at night. I was hoping . . . well that's why I needed to talk to Bann Teagan. Asking for his help yet again." She frowned and kicked at a stone, reminding Alistair of when they were children. "I hate having to ask people to help me. It makes me feel stupid, like a failure."

"As I remember, you were always independent, and confident. However, you were also proud and stubborn. Are you sure it's not your pride that's hurt? I've seen you fight, and the way you act with Marcail; whatever you are, Starr, you are not a failure."

"Trust my best friend to see right through me," and she stuck her tongue out at him. "Oh well, I had an idea, but I needed to talk to Teagan about it. Nobody is around to run the store; somebody will have to begin putting it in order and talking to merchants, and so on. I talked to Teagan about putting Bella in charge."

"Wait a minute, why aren't you the natural choice?"

Starr ignored the question, for the moment. "Bella's experience at the tavern will help. She's smart, she may make a few mistakes but she'll do well. Since it is going to take a while before it can be fully functioning, she can also help Teagan out at the castle. She's tough enough not to let Isolde get under her skin. Teagan knows Redcliffe needs a functioning store. Kaitlyn is almost old enough to be Bevin's guardian. She'll help Bella and that way they don't have to go to an orphanage."

Without conscious direction, they found themselves by the lake again and sat down. Alistair folded his arms and waited. Starrelena looked out over the lake as she continued, "Bella was more than happy at the opportunity to get away from Lloyd. He seems to think that a woman working in a tavern, especially for him, is fair game. He groped her and made comments to her constantly."

"Only Bella? Did he ever bother you?" Alistair couldn't help asking, thinking of earlier that day.

"Once, I came to see Bella and he grabbed my ass and . . . let's just say he knows I can protect myself."

"It is a great ass," Alistair muttered without thinking. "Maker's breath, I didn't just say that out loud, did I? She's going to think I'm a slimy lecher! I am just going to pretend I didn't say anything. That'll work. I hope." Louder he proclaimed, "I have no doubt he'll not bother you again. At least Bella doesn't have to worry about Teagan. Teagan appreciates a pretty woman, but he always treats people with respect. You still haven't answered my question, though."

"He thinks I have a great ass?" Starr felt oddly flattered, even though if anybody else said that she would be insulted. "Should I say anything? Nope. I'll just . . . no."

"Bella will move into my rooms with Marcail. Marcail will continue his lessons at the Chantry and will be under Bella's care. Teagan offered to mentor him and act as co-guardian with Bella while I'm gone." Starr took a breath before answering his question.

"While you're gone, where are you going?" demanded Alistair.

Starr looked at him. "When Elissa comes back, and you leave, I will be leaving with you. I spoke to her before she left." She held up her hand before he could say anything else. "But that's not what I need to tell you. It's about Marcail umm, well, umm, it's like this . . ." Wrapping her arms around herself she blurted out, "everybodyherethinksthatyou'rethefather."

He sat like stone for a few seconds and then jumped up and started pacing. Looking at Starr, he said, "Did I just hear you right? Why would people think that I'm the father . . . how could they think that? When . . . but we never . . . I haven't even seen you since I was 10 years old and carted off to the Chantry! I would love a family, but I kind of thought that I would know about it before everybody else . . ." He stopped talking when he saw how pale she had become. "Okay, I'm confused, start over and tell me what's going on. With a few more details, please." He sat down in front of her and just waited.

Starr kept looking down at the ground. Finally she began, "After my parents died, I had to find work, paying work. I was tall and looked older than I was and so was able to get a job cleaning rooms and sweeping floors at some of the taverns." She cleared her throat. "For a little while I stayed with a friend, but that was only a temporary solution, until I could support myself. After a few weeks I got additional work at the Pearl."

Alistair broke in, "The br-brothel?!" he exclaimed, feeling his face get red.

Starr looked up at him and said fiercely, "I was there to clean, nothing more, Alistair. Those rooms needed to be cleaned a lot." Then she blushed, and took a deep breath before continuing. "Sanga, the owner, paid well, and when I started helping out in the kitchen, she paid me even more."

Chewing her lip, she hesitated, "I've never talked about this to anyone, I really don't want to talk about it now, but I owe you at least some sort of explanation. Some nobles grabbed me and my friend one day, they wanted to give Prince Cailan a special 'present,' a fresh new whore who needed training, with Cailan having the 'honor' to be my first teacher. I fought, Stair, believe me I fought. They were cruel, but not stupid. They used my friend as a hostage. She fought back, too, but they didn't care how hard they hit her. But me, they didn't want to mark me up for Cailan," she said bitterly. "They said if I didn't do what they wanted, they would hurt Vionna even more, and if I went and didn't come back, or told anybody, Vionna would die. What was I supposed to do? Let them kill her!? She was my friend!" She looked up at him, her eyes brown with remembered pain and sorrow, turning an angry black before she calmed herself with deep breaths. At some point, she had grabbed Alistair's hands, holding on as if for dear life.

Alistair didn't think she realized how hard she was gripping him. He loosened his hands from her grasp and pulled her over until she was huddled in his lap, with his arms around her. "I'm sorry, so sorry, what can I do?" he whispered over and over into her hair.

Starr was silent for a while, calming herself – or preparing herself, and said, "Well, umm, you kind of already did it."

"Oh? . . . . . "

"Please, just let me finish. They brought me to Cailan and I was with him for 2 weeks. When those so-called nobles picked me up, they beat me and dumped me in the woods, leaving me for dead. Some hunters found me; I realized I was pregnant; they helped me and I stayed with them for a few years. They trained me to fight and take care of myself. I owe them so much I don't know if I can ever repay them. Eventually, I decided it was time for Marcail and me to leave the forest and we came to Redcliffe."

"Why Redcliffe?" Alistair wasn't sure how to ask some of the other questions swirling in his brain.

"I needed to make a home for Marcail. All those years away, Redcliffe meant home – Mom and Dad alive, getting into mischief with my best friend...We've been doing ok. Well, until the corpses started coming. People asked about Marcail's father, I said he was dead, but I began to think about what would be best for Marcail. What should I tell them? What was I going to tell Marcail, now and later? By then I had heard the rumors about Loghain leaving the battlefield. I didn't know what to do; somebody was going to ask more questions. It's a normal question. People asked if he looked like his father, I had to say yes, he obviously doesn't look like me. Then one day Marcail got covered in mud and Teagan commented how much he looked like you. And I realized that if people thought you were the father nobody would notice him. I mean nobody who might be in a position to tell Loghain would think to mention it, because they don't know about you. Most people don't know you're Maric's son, so if . . . "

"Wait, how do you know that? I never said anything, I . . . "

"I saw some portraits of a younger Cailan when I was . . . with him. At first I wondered why on Thedas Cailan would have a picture of you, until I realized the eyes were different. It's amazing how much you look alike; he's almost as handsome as you. Stop preening, Alistair."

"Anyway, I never actually said you were the father, but I did tell Bella a story about my family traveling near the Chantry where you were studying, you saw us and we agreed to sneak out that night and meet in a nearby orchard. That I grabbed what I thought was a jug of cider to meet you. We started talking, the cider turned out to be something a lot stronger, that I didn't think either of us remembered what happened based on how sick I felt the next day when I woke up in my bed, dirty and disheveled. I know she didn't repeat the story, and she knows it's not the true story, but I made sure that one of the town gossips was in earshot. Between that story, and the comments about Marcail looking like you or his father, people started assuming that you were Marcail's father. I'm sorry 'Stair, I knew you were a Grey Warden at Ostagar, I thought you were dead and wouldn't mind . . ."

Starr's voice trailed off and she stood up and moved away. Alistair looked up at her, all he could think was that his best friend had been through horrors he couldn't imagine, that she hadn't told him everything, and that she needed him more than she ever had when they were children. He'd hated the Chantry and a lot of what happened there, but it seemed inconsequential in light of Starr's revelations He felt small when he thought of all his complaining. When he was a child, he needed her and her family a lot more than she ever needed him. They had always treated him as if he was worth something, that he, Alistair, had value as a person and wasn't some inconvenient nothing. In spite of everything Starr had been through, he still saw in her the little girl with moonlight in her hair and flowers in her hand. She was his friend, and if pretending he was the father of her child helped her out, he would do it. And if anybody didn't like it, they could darn well drop down a darkspawn hole.

Decision made, he stood up, walked towards her and took her hand, "In a weird way, Starr, you've given me what I never thought I would have, a family to call my own. I can't thank you enough for this gift. Marcail may be my nephew instead of my son, but he is my family. For the record, any man with half a brain would be proud to be the father of your child."

Throwing an arm over her shoulder in friendship, they began walking towards the Chantry. "And how did you get so tall? You're almost as tall as I am. What are you, 6 feet? I don't think I've ever met a woman that tall. Neither of your parents was close to that. We have a lot more catching up to do; it will give us something to talk about while we are traveling instead of listening to Morrigan telling me what an idiot I am or Zevran offering to teach me about sex." He gave an exaggerated shudder.

Starrelena looked up and kissed him on the cheek, making both of them blush, "'Alistair, I will probably only say this once: when we met, I thought you were my knight in shining armor. I still do, I am so happy that, well, thank you." They walked along some more, and then she looked sideways at him, "Just how did you know about the Pearl? Did you go there often?" She laughed and laughed as he blushed and sputtered.