(dodges all of the rotten fruit being thrown at her) Yeah, I'm REALLY sorry guys. So many games have been coming out, like Radiant Dawn, and of course, I've been playing them. But, I decided to settle down a bit before the big Super Smash Brothers Brawl rampage and write something before you guys form a lynch mob.

Desperate. Just…do me a big favour and remember that word. Why? Well, you'll see.

It was nearing the end of summer. I could feel the air getting a little dryer as the long summer days toiled on. I know I should probably knock on wood before stating this, but…I've had no disturbances from any of the Flower Bud bachelors.

Yeah, pretty amazing, isn't it? I've been collecting notes and money like there's no tomorrow. Although lately, with this big break of those bachelors, I have to admit I've been letting my guard down, which usually isn't good in this town for you have the constant threat of death by Jamie.

As the summer wore down even more, so did my guard. And this was the cause of my dilemma today.

Desperate. Still have that word in your mind? Good.

After my lunch, I heard a knock on my door. For some odd reason as I walked to the door, my stomach lurched. I don't think that's a good sign.

I opened the door, and there stood Joe, the wannabe fisherman of Flower Bud.

"Hey, Tina," he greeted with a grin. "How are you?"

"Good…" I responded reluctantly. "Is…there something you want?"

"Well…not really," he replied twiddling his thumbs. "Just thought I'd stop by and maybe-I WANNA BE YOUR BOYFRIEND!!!" he fell to his knees, gasping my shirt and shaking me. "I WANNA BE YOUR BOYFRIEND!!! LOVE MEEEE!!!"
My eye twitched. "Um…Joe? Could you maybe like…oh I don't know…leave?"

Joe's eyes began to water. "OH TINA!!!" he shouted. "MY LOVE FOR YOU BURNS WITH THE INTENSITY OF A THOUSAND SUNS!!!"

I rubbed my ears for this shouting was getting unbearable. "That's great, now um…I have work to do. So…I'll see you later…"

"No!" Joe grabbed my feet. "You must love me! I'll be any kind of man you want!"

"Joe, I really-

He came really close to me, and his face was like stone. "Any kind of man you want."

I had to think of something fast before something bad happened. "Um…Joe! Ray's insulting your fishing skills again!"

"How dare he!" Joe quickly departed.

I wiped my forehead in relief. But I didn't expect Joe to just leave it at that.

And he didn't.

That evening, as I was walking back from work in the mines, I heard someone behind me, but when I turned, no one was there. I grew nervous; what if it was Jamie? Theodore told me Jamie attempts to murder everyone at least once. As I continued to walk through the night, the footsteps grew closer. With each stage of loudness increasing, I whipped around to inspect, but still, no one was there. Until suddenly, a hand grasped tightly on my shoulder. I let out a scream.

"Whoa, whoa!" reassured a familiar voice. "Calm down!"

When I finally got a grasp on what was going on, I realized my stalker was none other than Joe.

"Joe! What the heck are you doing?!"

"I'm not Joe, I'm the…" Joe struck a weird pose. "The Mysterious J!"

I blinked. "Um…the what?"

"Well, girls like mysterious guys, don't they?" Joe struck another weird pose. "And I'm mysterious! I am…the Mysterious J…"

I shook my head. "Sneaking around at night and scaring the poo out of people is NOT mysterious. It's creepy…"

"Well, do you find me lover material yet? Maybe even a little bit sexy?"

"No!" I shouted. "Now, go away!"

It didn't stop there.

The next day I was watering my crops. Suddenly, Joe confronted me. Except he was in gangster clothes and had a giant J necklace.

"Yo, T to the I to the N to the A. It's jiggity-Joe here to give to the 411 on the forizzidy-nizzle."

I…I couldn't even come up with reaction to this.

"I'm a playa, from the Himalayas. I'm a singah, with some funky fresh blingah, and I'm here to tell ya how I should be your lova. Wikky-wikky-word, dawg."

At that point, Joe was tackled by Jamie who was screaming that people don't know how to speak anymore. I used this time to sneak away.

Finally, as I was walking up to the mountain for some foraging, Joe appeared…once again.

"Hey, babe," Joe said with a creepy grin.

"Joe…please…just leave me alone," I groaned.

"You don't want me to leave you alone," he replied. "Because I know you want my sexy body." At this point, he tore off his shirt and flexed.

"You know, Dan's probably going to sue you for copyright infringement."

"Nah, that won't happen," Joe responded. "Besides, look at this sexy muscular body."

I covered my eyes. "I don't want to!"

"Oh yes you do. It's so hot and steamy that I'm a fire hazard in this forest," Joe continued to flex. "I bet now you love me."

My eye twitched. "Joe, I love you just about as I'd love to rip out my small intestine and skip rope with it in Jamie's garden."

"Wow, you must really love me then!" Joe exclaimed. "Now we can get married, and have kids, then have grandkids, and then have more kids. Ah, what a wonderful life we will have!"

I sighed. "Joe, I don't love you, and I never will. You're DESPERATE."

See? Desperate. Word of the day. And no, you don't have to scream every time you hear it.

Joe was silent for a few seconds. "Don't worry Tina! I'll become your type no matter what!" Joe began to mess with his hair. "Girls like those…emo guys…right? That's right! I'll be an emo! And then you'll think I'm a sexmuffin."

Joe skipped off, and I sighed. I'm not even that attractive! And my personality isn't even that great! So why are 7 guys stalking me? Well…the summer finally ended and the Fall began. I can only hope that this nonsense will stop.

Next is Joe's brother, Kurt. I have a good idea for him, so, I hopefully will get this up on Valentine's Day (How appropriate! Especially since I married Kurt in my game.) So check for updates1