Author's Notes: I want to say some things, first of all thanks so much for reading this. I love Ari and Dante, and in no way want their story to end. I want to keep them going and loving and hating and exploring, and Aahhhh... I'm having a moment. The thing about me is that I am kind of mean and like making the characters suffer, but let's be realistic, with Ari and Dante's attitudes and lives, of course some troubles were coming their way. I want to take this opportunity to thank Mr. Saenz (not that he'll ever see this, but for everyone else to see) for writing this story that I love so, so much. Now, there are some things in this chapter, first I believe it is the longest I've written for this story. I've written pieces here and there, mostly while completely high off of coffee or partially asleep, and this time my friend didn't have time to look it over to catch typos and errors that I can't see because, since I already know what it's supposed to say, my head automatically just assumes that's what it says, and BAM! We got typo land! What I'm trying to say is that, this chapter may contain lots of typos, so I do apologize. If they really bother you to the point of "Ugh, I can't read this!" Send me a message and I will look it over. My feelings won't get hurt or anything, just tell me, "hey! Girl! You're fucking up," and I'll go fix it as soon as I have a chance. I also wanted to say that I was planning on a ten chapter story, but the way things are advancing I think a solid 15 is more like it. Last thing, I wanted to suggest to anyone that loves Ari and Dante fanfic like me, to google "A riot in the heart," by lonelywalker (I believe) It's my favorite so far, and I think that's it. Thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoy... Bye Bye.
Part 1: (this Chapter has been written from Dante's point of view)
"I can teach you how to swim," I had noticed him since he walked in, that wasn't the first time it happened. Sometimes I looked at boys and thought, 'wow, that one is really cute,' but I had never taken the extra step and actually talked to someone. I had always been scared I guess, what if he gets mad? What if he's mean to me? What if he figures out what I'm thinking? And how exactly are you supposed to 'flirt' with a guy anyways? How many others were like me? How would I know which ones?
The boy moved towards me, squinting into the sun, and giving me a really dirty look. I should have quit trying to talk to him, I should have gotten up and left, any other person would have. He looked very angry, like someone had gotten him upset and he was about to take it out on whoever was there. But of course, I didn't run away, didn't even think of the possibility, I tried asking again, this time nicer, "I can teach you how to swim, if you want."
"You talk funny," He said.
"Allergies."
"What are you allergic to?"
"The air," I was only speaking the truth, anything made my airway narrow, anything that the air could carry, or at least that's how I felt. Who would have thought a simple comment that randomly popped in my head and equally mindlessly popped out of my mouth would kick everything off.
I heard him laugh for the first time.
"My name's Dante," I felt like I had to make it official, I didn't want to be just'that guy I meet at the swimming pool.'
He laughed again, harder and louder than before, his teeth were so bright against his dark skin, and he looked so young and free as he made fun of me. I looked at the water, sometimes people laughed at my name, no big deal, or at least I tried to show that it wasn't.
He swallowed back a little, tried to calm himself, "sorry," he said.
"It's okay, people laugh at my name," I sounded flat, numbed by the amount of times I've delt with the same conversation, Why Dante? What does that mean? Isn't it some old, dead, dude? But to my surprise that wasn't what followed.
"No, No," he shook his head. He was trying to stop from smiling, but it was notably impossible. "See, it's just that my name's Aristotle."
What? I wanted to say. What do you mean, Aristotle? Could you say that again? Do you know that's some old, dead, dude?
And then, as if he had somehow heard me, he repeated, "Aristotle."
We both went crazy laughing.
Part 2
I closed the door with a bang, throwing myself in the bed, and letting all the tears fall out until my eyes burned with every blink. My parents let me cry. They knocked every so often and opened up. I know they were just making sure I wouldn't do something stupid. They never asked anything, would just opened up, checked on me, and close the door again. They let me be miserable in peace.
Deep into the night though, when the sniffing and sobs had calmed down, and I sat flat on the bed, head propped up with two pillows, looking at the television that I had stupidly forgotten to turn on, with the biggest headache I'd ever had and kind of a runny nose, dad came into the room and spoke "Are you alright?"
Of course I wasn't, and of course he knew that, I guess he didn't know how to begin the conversation. He sat next to me in the bed, the weight of his body denting the mattress making me lean against him.
"I'm being punished, right dad?" I tried sounding strong, but amounted to plain tired. Eyes swollen and nose red, nothing I could have said would have made me sound better than the left over, unwanted pieces of waste, that Ari didn't want near him any longer. For a moment I thought that he actually cared about me, "For being weird."
He reached his arm around my shoulders and held me tight, "Dante, don't say that."
My voice was breaking, I crunched his shirt between my fingers overwhelmed by impotence and a feeling of uselessness. "Boys are supposed to like girls, that's the way it's supposed to be. I was born defected."
"You were not born defected!" He got mad when I said that. "Don't ever say anything like that."
"I was just trying to be happy, but I can't, I'm not supposed to, because what I feel is wrong! Because boys aren't supposed to like other boys. You and mom told me that is was ok, but it isn't dad! It isn't!"
Mom stared from the door for a while, then walked over and squatted in front of me, taking one of my hands in hers, "Dante listen to me, and listen well. There are many wrong things in this world. There are liars, and cheaters, and greedy people. And murderers and molesters, and rapists, and people that like to see others cry. There are people that do things on purpose to make others suffer." She looked at me with a really serious face, "Are you a liar, Dante?"
"No." I shook my head. "I don't like to lie, you know that."
"Then are you a cheater? Are you greedy? Do you like seeing people cry?
"No," the questions sounded weird.
"Then I don't see anything wrong with you." Moms always know just what to say."When I look at you," she brushed my hair behind my ears, "I see a sweet, kind-hearted boy, who just happens to like other boys, and there is nothing wrong with that. Do you want to know why?" I stared into her eyes, my mom is so wise, I knew they held a special answer to anything I could ever ask. "Because it is love, Dante. It isn't hate, it isn't envy, it isn't greed, it isn't something to hurt others or ugly or dirty, it's love. So how can love be wrong?"
My eyes filled up with tears again, but my mouth smiled. "Mom."
"There are some things wrong here though," she continued. Getting up from the floor and sitting next to me, "and we need to talk about them because I don't want you to grow up with the wrong concept." I listened carefully, I knew it was important. "What Ari did right now, is just not acceptable. The way he launched himself at you, I thought he was going to hit you. That boy is angry Dante, and that really scares me. I think he needs help."
"I know."
"The things he said, no matter how angry he was however, were just wrong." She questioned me then, "Dante, have you been having sex with other boys?"
"No, mom, not sex... I've done sexual things though."
"Well it doesn't matter. One thing that you need to know, that is common sense so you should know already but I feel like it must be said, is that the amount of people you are sexually active with in no way reflects who you are. Unless of course, that one of you is married or you're hurting others with your actions, then that's something you have to think about, but under normal circumstances the number of people you choose to be sexually active with has nothing to do with who you are as a person. So that word he called you, that 'H word,' it wasn't just irrelevant and rude, it also made him sound completely ignorant." I lowered my eyes, her eyes followed me, "You are using protection, no matter what type of sexual activity you are having though, right?"
"Yes, mom."
"Well that's the most important thing, always use protection. And always check for consent..."
I rolled my eyes, "Yes, mom."
"Ok, just making sure because these things are important." She played with my hair. "I don't know what got into him, Dante, things were going so well."
"It's because I didn't want to have sex with him."
"Well that just makes everything worst. You know pressuring someone into having sex is rape."
"I know. It isn't that I didn't want to though, I just wanted to wait a little, make it special. I guess he felt like I didn't want him, or at least that's what he told me."
"And how do you feel about that?"
"I guess I'm kind of blaming myself."
"So many things could have been fixed with just proper communication."
"But you know the way Ari is about talking, even if the sky was falling there's no way he'd talk to me about his feelings."
"Dante," She paused as if looking for words, and for mom to look for 'the correct words' meant that something big was coming. "What he said about the letters, did you really use to tell him details of the things you were doing?"
My head fell in shame, "Yes, I used to do it."
"Dante," she sounded disappointed, "but you knew he liked you, you knew that would make him feel bad."
"I didn't want for him to feel bad, mom. I just wanted-" it was embarrassing to say it out loud, for her to know that in a way I really was greedy, "I wanted him to get mad, so he could tell me to stop doing it. I was stupid."
"You were trying to get him jealous, so he could admit that he liked you."
I nodded.
She took a deep breathe, "if you get a chance, you should apologize for that."
If I get a chance.
"I will, mom."
Dad stepped in, "Dante, do you believe in the Universe?"
I smiled up at him, "Yes, of course I do."
"What do you always tell me about the Universe?"
"That it's a living being, and that-" we said the rest in unison, "not a single grain of sand in the waters or a star in the heavens is there without a purpose."
He smiled, "this is the time to test your fate. Sometimes you have to be patient and wait, sometimes you have to be brave and fight, and sometimes you have to be wise and let go. Those are words that have left your mouth before, now it's time to put them to use." He kissed my forehead, "I love you son."
"I love you," mom repeated.
"I love you too," I told them.
We sat there hugging each other, "it's going to hurt," mom said.
"It is going to hurt," dad confirmed.
"How long is it going to hurt?" I asked.
Mom was the brave soul who answered, "as long as you let it."
Part 3:
Friday, Saturday and Sunday I did nothing but watch television. I didn't go back to school Monday, or Tuesday or Wednesday, I could tell my parents were getting worried. I wasn't ready, but I decided I had to go back to normal. I wanted to stop feeling alone and in pain, and laying in bed feeling sorry for myself wasn't going to cut it. I went to school Thursday, and then called to work to see if I wasn't fired. I told them I had been sick, they told me to never do it again.
Daniel was in that day, to my surprise, he noticed something was wrong. "A pretty face shouldn't cry so much," he told me.
I stared at him blackly, I wanted to tell him, but you won't lift a finger to prevent it from getting beat to a pulp, but I wasn't in the mood for anything, especially not an argument.
He looked around the store from one side to the other. I knew what he was doing, he did it all the time before he tried flirting with me, he always had to make sure no one was watching us. He took a step forward, so I guess we were alone, "Are you still mad at me?"
That guy seriously had some issues, so I decided to return with some sarcasm, "why would I be mad at you, Daniel?"
"Well... Uh... Ummm..." Yup, still the same person as ever, but-
"Wanna come over tonight?"
He was just as surprised as I was, "Like to your house?"
I smiled, if I was inviting him over I might as well play the part, "Of course, where else would we go?"
"I would love to go if you let me. You know," he touched my face with his hands, "I've really missed you, Dante."
He tried to kiss me, but I pulled away. It was a reflex, I tried playing it off, "You've missed me, or you've missed me jacking you off?"
"I've missed kissing you and hugging you."
"Of course you have," I laughed.
"I know you don't believe me, but I am sorry for what I did. I've told you so many times."
"Words are just words."
"We've been together for a long time-"
"It was only a few months, and it wasn't even-"
"I care about you, Dante."
I chuckled, "I'll meet you at my house after work, I know there's no way you'll want to leave the store with me."
I turned and left. I can't say that I expected anything else from him, but he could have at least tried to say something back. He didn't, and I laughed at myself for the stupid decision I was making by wanting to spend any amount of time with someone like him.
Part 4:
I was about to call my dad to tell him I was ready to get picked up when Daniel came from behind and hung up the phone, "I'll take you."
I stared at him in shock, there was no way.
"What? Why?" I asked.
"Are you hungry? We can go eat too, if you want."
I frowned by eyebrows, "Why are you doing this? You don't have to prove anything, I'll still play with you."
"Let me do this for you, please. Look, I may not be able to kiss you in public yet, or hold your hand, but I'm trying here, Dante. There's no one like you, I've never meet anyone like you, and I don't want to lose you, so please."
That really shook me up, I hadn't see it coming at all.
We had pizza, talked about work and like always, I mumbled about books. He pretended to care.
When I walked into the house with him, my parents gave me 'the look,' but nothing more.
"We're going to be in my room," I told them, and that was it.
I locked the door and walked towards my desk. I was thinking we could listen to some music, but he wasn't planning on beating around the bush. He hugged me from behind and kissed my neck, and then my ear, and my cheek, he turned me around and kissed my mouth. I felt absolutely nothing, it was like kissing the wall, or a very wet piece of wood. I wondered what Ari was doing, was he with her? Was he kissing her too? I wanted to cry, I wanted to kick Daniel out and tell him I hated him.
"I've missed you," he told me.
"I guess I did too," I said. "I miss the orgasms."
He smiled, I didn't.
"Want one right now?"
"You know I'm not going to say no."
He sat me down on the bed, and got on his knees, "Can I do this?" He asked.
Ari, how I wish it was you that was here.
I imagined him, on his knees in front of me, and got so hard it hurt.
"Can I?" He asked again.
I reached for his hair, pretended I was stroking Ari's head, and smiled, "Yeah, go ahead."
I closed my eyes, didn't open them until it was over, and in my head, it was Ari doing it the whole time.
When we were done he left, I was so glad because I couldn't stand it any longer.
I ran for the phone and called, I had to talk to him, to at least hear his voice.
He answered on the second ring, "Hello?... Hello?"
It was him, but I didn't know what to say. The words got stuck in my throat and I fisted my knuckles in utter hatred. He was right there, all I had to do was speak, but I couldn't, I didn't want to. I was still mad at him, I was still thinking about how he and that girl looked so perfect together.
"Is it you?" His voice was a whisper, and I wanted to kiss him so much. I wanted to touch him, and feel him, or at least masturbate to his memories. "Is it you?" He asked again.
I hung up, the sadness got so bad I couldn't stand it. My chest was so heavy, I felt lack of oxygen. The tears we constant, but I keep the cries in, at least that much I had to do.
There was a knock on the door, and for a moment, I thought it was him, but then Daniel walked in again.
"I left my wallet, I'm sorry. Can I come in?"
I hid my face, "yeah, yeah. Go ahead."
"What happened?" He asked.
"Nothing, I just... I've had this nasty headache."
The phone rang.
My heart raced so fast and I could hear it rumble against my temples, and then it rang again.
"Are you going to get that?" Daniel asked.
I was stupid, I know, "Could you? My head is killing me."
It rang again.
"Okay," he picked it up. "Hello?"
"Who's this?" It was late at night, and the house was so quiet I could hear the echo of his voice.
"Ummm... You are the one calling over here, so I'm the one who should be asking that question."
"Give the phone to Dante!" He sounded mad, no surprise there.
I shook my head, made gestures to tell him that I was already asleep.
"He just laid down right now, I think he's asleep already... Hello?...Hello?... I think he hung up."
"Yeah, don't pay attention to him."
"That was Aristotle, right?"
I gave him an ugly look, I didn't like the way he said his name. No one should be able to say his name like that, especially not him.
The phone rang again.
"It's him, isn't it?" He asked.
"Just let it ring."
He didn't.
"Hello?"
"You son of a bitch! Who do you think you are answering other people's phones?"
"Stop calling over here, Ari. He doesn't want to talk to you."
"Give him the fucking phone!"
"Fuck you!"
"I'm going over there right now!"
The line went dead, my eyes went wide. Daniel looked scared.
"He's coming?" I asked.
"He said he was."
I called him back, he didn't answer.
"You have to go," I told him.
"Why?"
"Because if he sees you here, he's going to hit you very hard on the face."
"But-"
"Just go!" I literally pushed him out of the door, not even four minutes later Ari was knocking on it.
I wanted to answer, but at the same time, I didn't. He knocked loud, and then louder.
"Dante!" He yelled, and that's when I noticed he was drunk. "Dante, open the door, I know you're in there!" Knock, Knock, Knock, so loud I jumped a little. "Dante! Dante! Open the door or I'm going to knock it down!"
Dad came to the living room, "What's going on?"
"Has he gone crazy?!" Mom asked.
She walked towards the door. I wanted to yell for her not to open it, but didn't want Ari to hear me. Running out of options, instead of standing in front of him, instead of having to face him, I choose to hide under the table. I had wanted to be treated like an adult for as long as I could remember, and there I was, hiding under a table like a complete brat instead of confronting my fears.
"Ari, what are you thinking it's midnight?"
"I'm sorry Mrs. Quintana, I just-"
At least he calmed down, I was half expecting him to push everyone out of the way, and rush in looking for me like a maniac.
"Go home, Dante is asleep."
"No he isn't, I know-" he started crying. "I know he's with Daniel."
"No Ari, Dante is asleep."
"Can I go in there? Just for a little? I just want to see him, please."
"You're drunk, you need to go home."
"I just want to give him a kiss on the cheek, please Mrs Quintana."
"I'm sorry."
He sounded so needy, so sad, I almost ran to him, but then I remembered what he did and my heart went cold.
"Go home, please honey," mom told him. "And a word of advise Ari, drinking isn't going to get you anywhere."
"Just two minutes, please Mrs. Quintana."
"Please, that's enough."
I heard his truck later, heard him leaving, and come up from under the table. Both of them stared at me. "Let's just go to sleep," dad said. "Tomorrow is another day."
None of us argued.
Tbc...
