I hope you guys are liking this story! Here's chapter 7. I'm a bit nervous about how it turned out. As always please enjoy reading and review! :)
Cody kept pacing back and forth around the room. He was so desperately trying to wrap his mind around the new information he had just received. The night prior, he was millimeters away from kissing Randy Orton. His reaction at first mirrored Randy's - his eyeballs were ready to pop right out of their sockets and his mouth was wide open. And yet, his eyes couldn't meet Randy's. They could only make contact with the carpet upon which he stood. They were burning a figurative hole through it.
He almost kissed Randy Orton. His best friend. This was crazy.
He couldn't form a single coherent thought in his head. He couldn't even express what exactly he was feeling. Panic? Shock? Fear? Expectation?
Randy couldn't tear his gaze from the younger man, mostly in worry. The latter had been pacing around for ten minutes, without saying a single word.
"Say something, Cody…anything…"
Still not able to face him, Cody responded, stuttering. "I…I don't know what to say."
Randy's stomach folded on itself about a hundred times at that reply. Anxiety coursed through him. Usually, Cody was the one with all the answers. He was the poised one between the two. He always had an explanation for everything, and now, not even he could comment on this. Right then, he couldn't keep looking at him. It was too nerve-wrecking to see Cody in such an unusual state.
Quite simply, he was scared he was losing him.
Cody could truly not believe the predicament in which they were in. A thousand voices in his head were screaming at him, in Randy-esque fashion. He knew that if he were to reason this out, he'd have to do it on his own. That was just the way he functioned. He often solved his inner conflicts with himself. Solitude wasn't his enemy. On the contrary, it had often been a helping hand. In such a situation, a long inner monologue was needed. He had to get out of there.
For the first time since the confession had been thrown out in the air, Cody threw a glance at Randy. The sight he was met with was unfamiliar to him. Randy was staring at the floor, biting his lip. His knees kept bumping, almost as though they were shaking. Seeing Randy like this hit Cody like a slap. During all that time, he'd been trapped in his own trance that the thought of Randy being in the exact same position as he was escaped him.
Even in his darker moments, Randy never looked weak or fragile. The walls that made his strength managed to stay up and high. They never threatened to crumble. But in that precise moment, Cody saw vulnerability in his friend. And that was rare. Very rare.
He mentally smacked himself. Randy had been through a lot of emotional pressure in his life recently. Life at home wasn't peaceful to say the very least. His wife was, to him, a humanized Satan. He had just retuned from his two-month suspension and was working particularly hard to get back on track. And now, he had to deal with the aftermath of their almost-kiss on his own, even though it wasn't his fault alone. He was being selfish to Randy. Guilt was imposing itself on him.
This time, it was his turn to find his protective side taking over.
"You know…maybe, we're exaggerating this entire whole thing…" Cody quietly stated.
Randy was confused. "What?"
"Yeah, I mean…we've both been going through some rough patches lately. And we were very, very drunk."
Randy furrowed his eyebrows. He didn't expect such a reaction from Cody. "I'm not sure I'm following…"
"We've both been really pissed off lately. Not to mention confused. So we took it all out by drinking. And you know what they say, you do the most desperate things when you're drunk!" Even Cody knew that none of what he was saying made sense.
"Umm…"
"Yeah, so, you know, we should just completely forget about this and act as if it never happened. We were just really drunk." Cody said, fake enthusiasm peaking right through his voice.
Randy couldn't believe what he was hearing. This entire speech was so unlike its owner. There was no way all of this talk was genuine. He softly shook his head. "Uh…yeah…if you say so…"
"I do say so. I don't find a reason why we should continue thinking this over. I'm sure it meant nothing."
For a reason unknown to him, that last part really stung Randy. It bothered him. In fact, he could've sworn it hurt him. Whether it was genuinely or not, Cody was brushing off this entire ordeal as though it was void of value, as though it meant nothing. It was rather unsettling, because at that moment, he didn't want Cody to move past this. He just didn't. This was a big deal to him.
The problem was, he could never voice that to him…
What he didn't realize was this was just as difficult for Cody. At the lack of response from the older man, breaking the silence was a must. There was only so much he could handle. "So, I'm just gonna go now. I'm tired. But seriously, don't think about it anymore, alright? It's just not worth it." At this point, Randy couldn't even counter back.
"So I guess I'll see you tomorrow in the morning for breakfast. Good night."
"Yeah." Randy inaudibly answered.
The tattooed man was absolutely furious. He couldn't believe the lack of care Cody was conveying. That was it? This was all he thought about something that could potentially change everything between them?
He couldn't help himself. As Cody was about to twist the door knob to make his way out, Randy stopped him in his tracks. "Cody?"
"Yeah?"
But ultimately, he held himself back. "Nothing, forget it. Have a good night."
"You too."
…
As soon as he closed the door behind him, Cody practically speed walked towards his room. This was overwhelming to him, more than he'd ever like to admit. All he wanted was to crawl, hide and think this through in peace. If that was even a possibility.
He hurriedly made his way to the bathroom and splashed some water on his face, in hopes of freshening up. He stared at his own reflection in the mirror. If someone were to ask him what he was on his mind, he wouldn't have been able to answer.
He moved to the balcony. The warm summer breeze hit his skin with a feathery touch. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, trying to take the soothing atmosphere in. He recalled Randy's face as he was shamefully hiding his sentiments. It pained him. Randy looked baffled, almost lost for words, but most of all hurt. He was torn about his instinctive decision. Was he truly protecting him by attempting to fool him? The expression that lay on Randy's face seemed to tell another story.
He then remembered the content of his words. He snickered at their stupidity. They proved just how bad he was at lying; especially to the man who probably knew the best in this world. "And you know what they say, you do the most desperate things when you're drunk!"
Here was the prime example of bullshit. Cody was not an idiot, he was far from it. In fact, he happened to be a very intelligent man. He was aware that stupid, idiotic acts resulted of one too many drinks. However, the cold, hard truth was always spilled out in a drunken state. One's consciousness goes to sleep while the dangerous unconscious side of him rises to take control. Any hidden feelings boil over to the surface and threaten to change everything. It was as twisted and yet, as simple as that.
Which led Cody to wonder; was that almost-kiss an accident? A pure and honest coincidence? Or was it in fact, a long time coming?
No kiss or, attempt of kissing was random. It comes from a source. In case of hookups or one night stands, it stems from attraction. But what Cody and Randy had was a different affair. What they had was an authentic bond, a very deep connection. But was it only friendship?
All the memories of him questioning the nature of their relationship flashed in front of his eyes: all those times he wondered why he was so attached to Randy, why he'd be so sad when they'd be apart for a while, why his suspension made him sense that a piece of his life had gone missing, why he'd be bothered when he'd distance himself to talk to his wife… Were those thoughts a normal friend should have? Or were they in reality, a the consequence of…deeper, more romantic feelings?
Cody shook his head furiously. It couldn't be. Both of them weren't gay, of that he was sure. Furthermore, and above all, Randy had a wife and daughter. In other words, an established family. It couldn't be.
But it was.
Cody couldn't deny it anymore.
…
Meanwhile, Randy sat still on the same couch even after Cody left. Disbelief still reigned supreme. He couldn't comprehend Cody's bipolar behavior. He went from frantically freaking out for a good fifteen minutes to drawing a collected, calm but also dismissive conclusion about the situation. He went from hot to cold in a heartbeat.
Was it that Cody was nonchalant about it all? That was impossible and he knew it. Cody was the opposite of nonchalant; he was one of the, if not the most caring person he has ever encountered. Just earlier in the night he had gone off on him because his actions were admittedly shady.
He assumed this was most likely the younger man's attempt to rescue their friendship, to stabilize matters as much as possible – and although it wasn't the best method to handle them, he could relate to it. After all, he himself had done some hiding throughout the day to protect Cody.
What he couldn't familiarize with though, was the profound annoyance he'd gone through when Cody acted indifferent about the prior night's events. He so desperately wanted to reach out for him and command his attention, command his care. He couldn't name someone who had such an effect on him. Not even his wife. Right there and then, Cody had a hold of him. In all sureness, his guard hadn't been this down in what felt like ages.
The perplexity only increased from then on. He remembered legitimately feeling a pang in his chest when Cody qualified the not-quite-kiss as meaningless. It might have been just words, and he was aware of that – so why did it hurt him? The explanation was quite obvious, but hard to swallow. To him, it did mean something. As a matter of fact, it meant a lot.
A cyclone of emotions ran through him at that internal confession.
He was basically admitting to himself that friendly feelings weren't the only thing he had for Cody.
Thinking about this was borderline exhausting. Randy felt the need to lie in bed. He didn't even bother taking his clothes off. The TV in the background was long forgotten. Instead, he found a spot in the ceiling to stare at.
The realization was hard to accept and Randy was still very much in shock. Cody's been in his life for over a decade…so why did it take this long for things to be in perspective?
And then there were his wife. And his daughter.
This was too much for Randy. So many questions with so many cryptic answers. Maybe Cody was right. Maybe forgetting about this was the way to go…
…
The next morning, Randy felt like absolute crap, even worst than the morning before when he'd awoken with a hangover. That day, few could have said they were in a worse shape than he was. He spent the entire night fixated in his spot on the bed. Neither his body nor mind was able to relax and just give it up to the sandman. He was so tired but couldn't sleep. Talk about being stuck in reverse.
And yet, he was determined to make things right with Cody by simply…moving past it. It was a shameful decision by his standards since Randy wasn't one to back down from anything or just run away. However, too much was at stake. His family life, his peace of mind, his sanity and his friendship with Cody... Their significance and importance were sky high in Randy's life. They were his constant. He simply wasn't ready to lose any of these elements, or, at the very least, jeopardize them.
As if they were attached by the brain, Cody was set on following the same exact plan. He'd given the subject plenty of consideration.
He'd admitted to himself that what he felt towards Randy exceeded friendship. Nevertheless, he was willing to do whatever it took to push those sentiments aside. He needed to bury them in the back of his mind so they would hopefully perish. If there was one thing he wasn't ready to lose, it'd have to be Randy's presence in his life. He was extremely grateful for it. Except, such a revelation would burn it in flames. It would complicate matters beyond repair, and he wasn't going to have it. Additionally, being romantically attached to a married person (in this case a man) was like testing deep waters with both feet. You'll drown and chances are, you'll never escape it intact. Simply put, it'd be a turn for the dangerous.
Cody had been the first one to make a move that morning, texting Randy to see where he was. Smackdown had a series of house shows that weekend, and per usual, they had intended to have breakfast in the hotel restaurant then drive to the next town in the older man's rental.
Eventually, both men met up at the restaurant. Randy was wearing his Ray-Ban sunglasses in an attempt to mask the huge bags under his icy blue eyes. He didn't want Cody to see just how dead beat he truly looked. As Cody noticed him, he flashed him a warm smile, one that was mirrored by the Missourian. He picked up on Randy abnormally wearing sunglasses indoors. Actually, he knew it was one of his pet peeves. He found it odd but didn't question it. He just made a mental note about it.
They were sat at their table and quietly picked out the plate of their choice. They stayed in deathly silence for a while before they both simultaneously spoke out.
"So…"
"So…"
They both chuckled.
"You go first." Randy said.
The smaller man grinned softly. "How are you?"
From then on, small chit-chat was made during which both men acted absolutely normal. In fact, they seemed so normal that it took both men aback. Their surprise left them at a loss for words, drawing them right back to square one. Their plan of moving on from this was clearly backfiring in their face.
Once their food arrived, they ate in it in silence, which was evidently the theme of the day. In the midst of their meal, their fingers brushed as they were both going for the salt. They lingered together for a small instant before they were swiftly pulled back. Lopsided smiles were traded. They both tried their hardest to ignore the tiny, little sparks they felt from that brief contact…
…
The drive to the next town was filled with awkwardness. Forced conversation was dropped here and there. Sideway glances were thrown around when one thought the other wasn't looking. Some went undetected, some were caught.
In all the time they had known each other, this was the first time unease interfered in their relationship. They hated it, absolutely hated it.
Over the course of the following days, the discomfort vaporized progressively. Ted had helped a lot. In an effort to appease the implicit tension, Cody suggested to invite Ted along as a travel buddy. Randy didn't necessarily like it, but he knew it was an appropriate suggestion considering the current circumstances. Truth be told, the three men enjoyed themselves together, immediately finding the good-hearted flow they had shared during their Legacy days. For a while there, Cody and Randy were finding their natural rhythm again.
That was, until it was interrupted when Ted shared the story of how he dealt with his shoulder injury. It was over a casual diner at a pub. "It was hard to find about it. As soon as I heard it pop, I knew something was up. But I just couldn't admit it to myself, you know? I tried to tell myself it wasn't real, that it was just a minor thing and that it'd pass quickly. But at the end of the day, I had to face it. I just had to. I couldn't fool myself anymore, it was useless."
As Ted was talking, the other two's glance dropped down. Even though Ted was discussing an entirely different subject, he was vocalizing, with precision, the torment that had been brewing within them since that infamous night. All of a sudden, at the same time, Cody and Randy looked up to meet the other's face. Blue eyes stared at each other profoundly. In that one gaze, a thousand unspoken words had come and gone between them…
