A/N: Sorry for the delay! Anywho, I just wanted to let my readers know that this story is going to be dark. I think it's the darkest material I've written to this date. There's going to be a lot of drug, alcohol, violence and sexual themes. Right now I have this story rated as T but I am going to move it to M as soon as I post this chapter. Because of the nature of this story, it's going to take a bit longer for me to update because it's a bit harder for me to write this kind of material. So please be patient with me!

Evelyn sat at the tiny table in her quarters and stared at the tray before her, her hands clasped tightly together in her lap. Nearly a month since the crash and the death of her son, the Federation continued their investigation of the crash. The Enterprise and Admiral Pike were to stay above planet, beaming down in teams to the wreck site.

"Would you like anything else, Miss?"

Evelyn looked up at the yeoman and shook her head, "No thank you," she said. "Could you inform the Captain that I will have to cancel our nightly meeting? I'm going to retire a bit earlier tonight to get some sleep."

Yeoman Rand nodded; "Sure," she smiled. "There will be a meeting with the Captain and Admiral tomorrow morning at 0800."

"I'll be there," Evelyn nodded, watching as Rand made her way out into the hallway.

Once the door was closed, Evelyn quickly got up and stripped out of her uniform. Grabbing the Starfleet regulated work out gear, Evelyn waited ten minutes before exiting her quarters. She'd been doing this for weeks, sneaking off after Rand brought her dinner. Or when the Captain and good Doctor came by to check up on her.

The gymnasium kept her sane, as he wrapped up her hands and beat the punching bag with all her strength. While she only had a few pounds to lose from her pregnancy, Evelyn saw herself in the mirrors onboard the ship and saw herself as a weakling. But most of all, she needed something to keep her occupied. And sitting with the annoying Captain and rude Doctor for three hours a night, talking, wasn't cutting it.

Some nights the gymnasium would be empty, leaving her and her thoughts to herself. Other nights, she would have company. The pilot, Hikaru Sulu, introduced himself one night as he unpacked his fencing tools. He showed her a few tricks, remarking on how her hand and eye coordination were. Unlike the others, Hikaru never once brought up the crash. Instead he asked questions about her time in the Academy and where she was from, and she asked him the same.

Tonight however, Evelyn found herself alone. Quietly, she made her way over to the punching bag and quickly went about her ritual; wrapping her knuckles up with thick cloth and stretching her arms above her head. After an hour of viciously punching and kicking, she fell onto the bench and wiped the sweat off her forehead. After a while, once she can catch her breath, Evelyn stood from the bench and made her way out of the gymnasium and onto the lift.

It was during a medical exam to check on her bruised kidneys and liver, that Evelyn realized how badly she wanted to fuck the Doctor. She had never been big on sex, despite the one altercation that left her pregnant. But there was something about Leonard McCoy that filled her with lust, as his fingers ran softly against her body during these exams.

"Does it hurt when I do this?" he asked, pressing down firmly against her stomach.

She flinched, "Not really, no," she shook her head.

He nodded, "Any discomfort when you eat?"

"No. I just don't have a big appetite these days," she shrugged. "I wish that Rand woman would stop bringing such bland flood to my quarters."

Leonard snorted, "That food," he marked something off on her chart. "Is filled with vitamins and other nutrients that you need to consume."

She rolled her eyes, "Could you at least make it more appetizing?" she asked. "There are enough vegetables to feed a colony of rabbits."

Leonard stood by, setting up the monthly regiment of vitamins and other hyposprays that Evelyn needed. "I'll make sure to add something a little less green," he smirked. "Hold still."

The hyposprays pierced her neck one right after the other, making her wince and grit her teeth. "You enjoy this don't you?" she asked, as he set the empty cartridge down. "You're a sick man."

"I'm a doctor,' he corrected her. "And you need all sixteen of these damn things."

Evelyn rolled her eyes, "Lovely," she muttered. "Can I go now?"

He nodded, "Go on," he set the PADD down. "I don't wanna see you back here until your next checkup."

Hopping down from the bio-bed, Evelyn started towards the door, only to stop and turn around. "Are you coming by later?" she asked.

Leonard looked up at her, "Beg your pardon?" he asked, frowning.

"You know," she shrugged. "Either you or the Captain will come by to watch me like a hawk? Maybe we could have dinner together and discuss my mental state at the moment."

"Sure," he nodded. "Is 1900 hours good for you?" he asked.

Evelyn nodded, "That's fine. I'll have Rand bring two trays tonight instead of one."

….

By the time Leonard arrived later that evening, Evelyn was squirming in her seat with nerves and anticipation. Rand brought two trays to her room, setting them down on the table before leaving without another word. She had showered and changed out of her Starfleet uniform and into something more comfortable, cleaning up around her quarters.

"You're early," she said, as Leonard stepped in.

His hair was damp and his uniform was clean, suggesting that he stopped at his quarters to freshen up, before arriving to hers.

"It was slow the rest of the day," he said, as she nodded to the table. "I hope you don't mind."

Evelyn took a seat across from him, shaking her head. "Not at all," she managed a small smile. "I'm just glad to have the company.

They ate with small conversation, discussing little about their pasts and more about their time at the Academy and how they received their posts on their designated ships.

"So the Admiral couldn't walk at all?" she asked, surprised that the man who greeted her all those weeks ago, had once been in a wheelchair.

Leonard nodded, "Took him a year to regain the strength in his legs and to walk more than a few steps," he set his glass down. "Still uses the cane when he walks across campus, but other than that… he's almost as good as new."

Evelyn nodded, "You're a good doctor," she said, taking a sip of water.

"I'm alright," he shrugged, blushing slightly, making her smile.

"You are," she insisted. "I know I haven't shown you how grateful I am for what you've done, but I am. You're an extraordinary doctor, Leonard McCoy."

Leonard looked at her in shock, nodding once. "Thank you, Evelyn," he gave her a small, yet nervous smile. "That's mighty sweet of you."

She felt a smile tug at her lips, nodding. "You're welcome."

By 2200 hours, Leonard announced that he would retire to his own quarters for the night.

"This was nice, " he said, as Evelyn walked him to the door. "You know, talking instead of having you sit there and glare at me."

Her laugh was soft, almost musical, as she looked down at the floor. "It was," she nodded in agreement.

"Maybe we could have dinner again?" he asked. "This Friday? Same time?"

Evelyn looked up and saw the hopeful look on his face, a flash of worry in his eyes. "I'd like that very much," she nodded.

Leonard smiled and nodded, "Okay," he said. "Well…goodnight then."

Unlocking the door, Evelyn watched as Leonard stepped out into the hallway, turning back to wave at her. She did the same and watched as he headed towards the lifts, before stepping into one. Moving back into her room, the door closed behind her and she leaned against it, wondering what the hell she was thinking.

Friday came quickly and Evelyn had found herself sitting across from Leonard over dinner. Then they retired to the sofa, drinks in hand, chatting about their day.

"So the Captain tends to follow you around a lot?" she asked, as he finished telling her how Jim managed to inject himself with a vaccine that he was allergic to.

Leonard nodded, "Like a lost puppy," he snorted. "To some it's weird, a grown man following another around. But I've gotten used to it over the years."

Evelyn nodded, "It's good that he has someone to keep an eye on him," she shrugged. "To make sure he doesn't get himself killed."

They fell silent, staring at various objects in the room.

"H-how are you coping?" Leonard finally asked, turning to look at her. "With you know…"

Evelyn shrugged, "Still trying to understand how it all happened," she sighed. "But I'm okay."

He nodded, "That's good," he paused. "I mean, some people go into a deep depression and turn to alcohol, drugs or physical harm to themselves."

"There is," she glanced down at her bare legs, the skirt of her uniform bunched up a bit, "something I would like to try."

Leonard looked at her, nodding slowly. "To feel better that is.." she finished.

"Okay," he nodded. "What did you have in mind?" he asked.

Evelyn turned on the couch, moving to kneel next to him. She then leaned forward, her lips nearly touching his ear and whispered. "I want you to fuck me."

Leonard turned quickly to look at her, "W-what?" he asked, clearing his throat.

Evelyn moved to straddle his hips, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I've been thinking about it for days," she bit her lip. "About how your skin would feel against mine. Your hands all over my body," she pressed her lips against his chin. "When I close my eyes, I can see you fucking me. In every way possible.."

"Evelyn.." he started, as she caressed his cheek.

"I want to feel you in me," she pressed down against his groin, getting a moan out of him. "I want you to hold me down and fuck me so I can feel it for days."

"I don't think that's a good idea," he managed to get out, as she ran her hands up under his shirt.

Evelyn kissed his throat, "I think it is," she smirked. "And so do you, unless that's a hypospray in your pocket."

Leonard groaned, grabbing her hips. "Goddamnit," he muttered, before throwing her down on the sofa, climbing over her body to capture her lips with his.

"Yes.." she gasped, as his lips moved from her down to her throat. "Please, please, please.."

He pulled back and looked down at her; her violet eyes filled with lust. "Are you sure you want this?" he asked, as she panted lightly. "Have you really though this through?"

Evelyn nodded, "Please," she tugged lightly at his shirt. "I want this. I want you."

Leonard nodded and lowered himself down across her, capturing her lips again, both losing themselves in the passion and need.