Thanks for the reviews. My muse had escaped for a while(well that and my computer wasn't functioning up to par lets say), and is still not fully back. I'll probably end up revising chapter 6, sometime.
This one is a bit longer hehe. :P Enjoy, I hope!
It was a weird feeling. It was weird that I was crying my eyes out on Irvine. It was weird that it felt right that I was doing it. It was weird that in this emotional swirl that I didn't even know what was going on, that it felt like this was supposed to happen. We were supposed to be here, now, together like this. I guess it was kind of an unspoken perspective into both of our feelings; understanding.
After what seemed like light years, my eyes were finally dry. Bloodshot and throbbing, but dry. I had stopped shaking and he let me go. The sun was rising, and the little rays of light were illuminating his handsome face. His look was solemn, but I knew he felt better. Hell, even I felt better.
He reached up and placed his hand on my cheek, leaned over and kissed my other cheek with the softest kiss I think I had ever felt. I instantly felt a smile start to creep over on me.
His cheek was pressed against mine. I closed my eyes and just let myself get lost in the feeling; the feeling of understanding and happiness that came over me.
"Don't blame yourself either." He whispered into my ear, pulling away from our intimate embrace.
At first I didn't really know how to react to what he said. I mean, it was all my fault. It certainly wasn't Quistis's, and even if I hate to admit it, it was Seifer's either. It was no one's fault but my own. I had blamed some of it on Irvine, and it pained me that I had done so. He really was a gentleman passed his whole "guns and girls" façade.
"I won't if you won't." I responded, smiling all goofy like at him. He chuckled and brushed my not-curled hair behind my ear. I could feel the warmth of the sun on my skin now, and I figured it was actually a morning now. I turned my head to look at the clock, which shot 7:15 back at me, only to feel him completely let go of me. Missing the touch I looked back at him, only to find his eyes distant.
"Don't worry, I won't." He went back to the table to pick up his hat, which suggested he was leaving.
Why? What the hell is the sudden coldness?
"What's wrong?" Needless to say all feeling of fuzzy happiness is now gone.
"I can very well tell you didn't even think of me once during your whole...episode. At least we both know we're completely over each other." His tone was cold and he began walking, rather quickly, to the door.
"What? Of course I thought of you! Where did this all come from?" My hand was clutching his arm now.
He grunted and turned around, his eyes glaring daggers from my neck to my eyes.
"Don't be stupid with me, Selphie, I think I would know what that is better than anyone." He motioned to my neck.
My heart dropped. What was I supposed to say? I had totally forgotten Quistis's hickey. My hand instantly went to cover it, as if it would do any good. Better than flaunting it, right?
"Irvine, I…" Have no idea of what to tell you.
"Whatever, Selphie. It's none of my business anyway. I shouldn't care, right?" He whirled around and left before I even had time to process it all.
Back to square one. Now everyone is going to think you're a selfish, attention greedy, coldhearted slut. Best 3 sleepless hours of entire life.
I decided to go back to try to go back to sleep, if not to clear my head, to at least give my body the rest it needed.
Eventually I did, to my most surprise manage to get there; my last thought hanging on why Quistis still wasn't back.
I woke up about an hour later to the three little rings the loud speaker gives off. "Instructor Tilmitt please report to the Commander's office; Repeat, Instructor Tilmitt please report to the Commander's office." I groaned as I got up, just the day for me to get called in. Sunday seems like its a great day to fire people on account of suicide attempts and promiscuity. I threw on some jeans and a cami shirt, my basic casual attire nowadays. I looked at myself in the mirror, robotically. I guess it's a "are you good enough for society to see you" kind of look. The hickey immediately stood out. I hadn't seen it before. It wasn't that big, but boy, was it dark. Maybe a cami isn't a good choice for today. How about turtleneck? Can you say obvious?
I rummaged through my drawers a bit and just threw on a Balamb zip up hoodie. And yes, it was fully zipped.
I went into the bathroom to curl my hair and did my make up and all. I was a mess, but not the whole world needed to know that. It was best if no one knew actually.
Upon leaving the dorm, the sun's brightness hit me and blinded me just a bit. As if everything's not hazy enough from sleep deprivation and liquid deprivation in the eyes. God, what could this be about? Will they suspend me? Do they know about Quistis? Did Irvine tell them. Jeez, how did I let just one tiny thing erupt into a life changing disaster?
It also happens that I was so deep in thought about all the horrible outcomes of what the voice over the loudspeaker could bring that I didn't snap back into reality until I bumped into a very soft yet hard barrier.
"Ouch!" I groaned instinctively. It seems we all say that when we hit something, even if it doesn't hurt. Note to self, stop that stupid reflex.
"You okay?" I looked up to see Seifer, looking down at me with this weird look on his face. I guess it was me who bumped into him first.
"I'm sorry, I didn't see you. Was trying to get to the elevator."
"Well, better you bumped into me than the actual elevator itself, eh?" He chuckled at bit. I suppose he was right, that would've been really embarrassing, as if this already wasn't a bit itself.
"Er, well, heh, yea, thanks then… I guess." I stumbled on my words, obviously still not fully functional in the brain area. He nodded at me, then stepped into the elevator as it arrived, holding the doors for me.
I mean, I should be all jealous and stuff right? He was my competition, but I dunno, after last night, I guess I've chilled at bit. She kissed me. Does that mean she claimed me? Or does that mean she was just returning the passed favors? Were they favors? Did she see them as favors? Well in that case, was she repaying Seifer some favors too? Stupid, they're not favors, that's stupid. Stupid Seifer-
"Well, you gonna stand there all day or you gonna come in?" I snapped back into reality to see Seifer raising an eyebrow at me. I felt myself blushing at how absent minded I was leaving him hanging there, with his arm holding the door for me. I stepped in and pressed the 3F button.
"We have a common destination then." He stated, sort of nonchalantly, and I don't know why, but that irked me. I really need to sit down, away from all society and work out all these stupid wide range of explosive emotions I have inside of me. I just nodded back at him. I figured I wouldn't make the elevator ride awkward and try to get some information too.
"Have you seen Quistis today?"
He hesitated a bit before answering, shifting his weight around. "Yeah. I think she's up there with Squall right now."
I hated how hard Seifer was to read. I had no idea why he was nervous, if that's what's even describing what he was feeling.
"Oh."
"How you feelin'?"
"I'm
alright, sleepy, but I'm ok... I guess you've already heard
then."
He nodded. A few moments passed before he broke the
extremely awkward silence.
"I know what it's like. To feel that desperate, I mean. Just good thing you found out it wasn't the way to do things." His jade eyes turned their gaze to mine, and he nodded again.
"Just try to forget it, you'll be ok." His lips then cracked into what seemed a very tiny, but soft smile.
The elevator then pinged, and the doors opened. We walked Squall's office after Xu nodded to us to make our ways in.
Quistis was standing right in front of us, seeming as if she were making her way out. Her features were weary, and I knew that she had not slept the whole night. I was going to say something to her, but she just shook her head at me. She smiled and nodded at Seifer. Then passed by me, patting me on my shoulder and letting her hand linger a bit before she made her exit.
Squall was sitting at his desk talking to a student. A girl. Her back was to me so I didn't know if she was a student of mine or not.
"…so he'll take you back to you dorm, then to Balamb." Squall was talking to her, and he motioned to Seifer at the last part.
The girl turned around to look at him, her dark brown hair whirled at her sudden action and I could see her face.. She was a student of mine. Michelle Gauthier, a fist fighter. Her dark chocolate eyes made contact with me, then pulled away and studied Seifer.
"Come on, kid, let's go." Seifer was always so calm and cool about everything. He never wanted anything to seem like it was job or a mission. It was just always like he was just living a life of freedom. I think it mostly had to do with the fact that he wouldn't admit to taking orders from Squall, or anybody for that matter. He always made it seem like we were lucky he was even willing to help, but it was never hostile. I guess Squall just knew how to work Seifer.
She got up and followed him without even looking or acknowledging me again.
Whatever, students are too cool to socialize with teachers I supposed. I was never like that, jeez, how stuck up.
After they made their exit, Squall motioned for me to sit. I could tell that he hadn't slept either. His eyes were distant and bloodshot and his face was weary.
"You recognize her, right?" He wasn't even looking at me. He was just letting his head rest in his hands like he always did when he was thinking too much.
"Yeah, she's my student. Why?"
He sighed deeply then looked at me. His fierce eyes were somewhat dulled today and his facial expression was just that of pure exhaustion.
"It seems you weren't the only thinking of termination yesterday."
What?
"At the same time Irvine found you, Zell found her at the training center yesterday."
