Dear Audience from Hell,
If you are going to read this chapter, do one of these first:
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Make a charactor.
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Dance to Rock Lobster by the B-52's, record it, and send it to me.
If you rnt going 2 i was smart and thought ahead.
Or Dont do anything and just read.
HA I PREDICTED YOUR EVILNESS DAMNED AUDIENCE FROM HELL. AHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Hope u enjoy this chapter.
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Nick part 1:
"Hmm I suppose we should start jamming the water jets that fill up the Blitzball tank first..." I said to Shemaglig who was beside me standing on the empty bottom of the Blitzball tank. Shemaglig answered, "So what's your plan my liege?" "Jam the water jets, jam the water purifiers, jam the doors, install a keypad into one of them." I replied. "But then... Oh I see! We will have too waterproof the doors too from the outside..." Shemaglig said now understanding my plan. "Oh and we will have to make a hole or two in the blitzball tank." I said. "So... if we jam them the stadium will flood?" asked Shemaglig. "Yep..." I answered working on one of the water jets. "We may also want to seal the plug at the bottom." I said, "Its all about timing too, I hope Matt and Tyrone are doing their tasks right..."
Matt part 1:
"Now I need to find Tyrone and get the groceries back to the ship." I said to myself as I scratched my head, "Now where would he be?" I suddenly knew. I ran to the local bar and found Tyrone outside drinking out of a canteen sitting atop a crate of various fruits. "Hi," I said as I walked to Tyrone smiling as always, "Thats it?" "Yup," answered Tyrone as he took another swig of his canteen. Tyrone stood up off of the crate and asked, " Have the Al Bheds come yet?" "Yep, they just arived." I answered. "A'ight." replied Tyrone as he took another swig and walked off. Then I stared at the crate. It was about my size by height and about my height in width. "Well I suppose it wouldn't hurt..." I said to myself. I pointed at the crate and commanded it, "Come." The crate lifted itself off of the ground by a foot and flew over to me. I climed up onto it. "Go to the ship." I said.
Tyrone part 1:
I gave the crate to the kid. Before I got that I bought: 10 bottles of scotch, 5 bottles of whiskey, 18 eight packs of bud light. I hired two Crusaders to help me carry it back. While they had their backs turned I took out a bottle of scotch and broke it over one's head. Then I stole his KS7 auto machine gun. And I shot the other in the back of the head. He fell down dead. I threw their bodies into the harbor and took several trips to get the beer into the storage room. I looted both of their bodies before i dumped them. I got two Crusader uniforms, a steel longsword, a Desert Eagle pistol, and the 10,000 gald I paid them with. I pocketed the money, and put the rest of the money I got from the gems inside of the storage room. I pocketed the two guns and put the rest of the stuff in the recently drained pool. Hehehe. I then refilled my canteen with some whiskey. I took a quick swig, grabbed an apple, and left for the Al Bhed ship. It was in Dock K. Our ship was in Dock E. Once I got there I saw two Al Bhed's aboard. sitting eating lunch. I took a swig of my canteen and put the silencer on the Desert Eagle. I aimed at the two sitting on the edge. Piece of cake. But then I realized I shouldn't have drunk so much. My aim was WAY off.
"Woah," I said to myself as I realized that I was too drunk to go sharpshooting. "Oh well." I said as I took another swig. "Hmmm... I don't think i have enough ammo for this job... So what could I use?" I looked around. I was hiding behind 3 crates. Around me were more crates. I slapped myself for stupidity. I opened up a crate labled, "Highly Combustable. FRAGILE". Inside were grenades. Perfect.
In this part of the story the Al Bhed language is roughly translated.
Al: damn, this sand witch tastes nasty
Fred: yes, guy sucks to be you
Al: Be-the-fuck-quiet female dog
Fred: Do you want to leave?
Al: yes take it female dog
Tyrone: A'ight
Fred: bring them up- wait who are you?
Tyrone: smirks shoots both in one sweep with KS7
reinforcements are running out of door
Tyrone: throws grenade
KABOOM
theme music
exp
LEVEL UP
"Wait why do I feel like I forgot something..." I said to myself, "OH SHIT I FORGOT I WAS SUPPOSED TO KEEP ONE ALIVE!" I ran over to the boddies, "Dead, dead, dead, dead, wait a second!" I said to myself as I was checking the boddies for anyone still alive. I realized that some of them had to be blown back into the ship because of the grenade... I ran inside. The door and its frame were now a crator. It was like a normal sitting room inside. Plasma screen t.v.. Two couches. Blood on the carpet. A couple of dead boddies here and there. Reminds me of home. Then I spotted legs hanging over a couch. All too firmilliar legs... DON'T ASK ME WHY I LOOK AT VIDEO GAME CHARACTOR'S LEGS!!! I ran over. Yup. It was Rikku. I reached to her neck to check her pulse. She slapped it away, "DON'T TOUCH ME." She stumbeled off the couch. She stood up to run but when she stood on her right leg she fell clutching it. I walked over to her and said, "Emperor Nick requires your assistance." "GET THE FUCK AWAY YOU BASTARD!" she yelled. She started to crawl to a gun lying on the floor nearby. I forsaw the move, kicked the gun away, and stepped on her back holding her down. "I said- REQUIRES." I yelled at her.
I removed my foot. She crawled into the fetal position and started crying. I felt a twinge of guilt. I shook it off and carried her back to the ship. I set her down on the linoleum floored empty storage room. I felt bad for her so I gave her my sleeping bag. She stopped crying and went to sleep. I locked the door and walked back to the Al Bhed ship to loot it.
Matt part 2:
I found one of the Evil' One's ships... There seems to be 3 people on it. One of them left for the marketplace. He looked weird. He had ears on the top of his head that were like a dog's. He had long flowing hair. Long nails. And he had a sword on his back that if you looked at it you could feel an evil presence. The other two were basically the oposite of eachother. One was slim and pretty wearing a tanktop and a miniskirt. She had a bow on her back. The other was short, geeky, and was wearing a t-shirt tucked into a capree. That one was shouting into a megaphone. The ship itself was even strange. It had "S.S. Fargus" written on it... What kind of a name is Fargus anyway? I snuck aboard the ship and planted the blue sphere in the captain's chair. I snuck back out. The pretty one was missing. The geeky one was staring out at the sea. I quickly snapped a picture with the sphere and got off the ship. I went to go look for the pretty one. I spotted her. I was about to take a picture when she spotted me and walked over to me. "Hi, what are you doing with that sphere?" she asked kindly with a gentle voice. "Takin' pictures of people," I replied back. Then the scary looking guy with the sword walked up. "Tsuki, who's this?" he asked impatiently. "Some kid who is sneaking around taking pictures of us." Tsuki responded. "Oh really?" the scary man replied. He hoisted me up by the front of my tunic and put me against a red storage shed thing. "Who do you work for kid?" the scary man asked me. "Are you the Evil One? Nick tells me that the Evil One has rancid breath, horns, and is ugly. I think you fit that description but I don't see horns anywhere..." I said. Tsuki then started chuckling. I didn't know what was so funny so I started chuckling too. "YOU THINK THATS FUNNY DO YOU?" said the scary man shaking me. "Do a number on his face, Leon." said Tsuki still chuckling.
Leon's nails turned to claws. He was about to do me in but then a miracle happened. "Put the boy down." someone said in a concerned voice from behind. I looked over Leon's shoulder. It was a girl around 16 years old. She had a perfect tan. A perfect body. Naturally blond hair. Like Nick's only lighter and less shiney. She had a bow aimed at Leon. She blinked and the arrow's tip she was aiming at Leon caught on fire. The flame was violet. Leon turned his head with me still up in the air and spoke, "Who the Hell are you?" The lady spoke again, "Doesn't concern you. Put the boy down or your face will be singed." Leon dropped me. I fell to the ground on all fours. I then ran behind the lady. The lady spoke again, "Walk away... slowly." Leon and Tsuki started backing up with their hands in plain view. They then turned and ran.
The lady then turned to me and asked in a nice gentle voice, "Hi who are you?" "My name's Matthew." I replied and smiled at the lady. "My name is Clair. Where is your mother?" Clair asked. "Ummm... I don't have a mother." I said. Then I explained to her everything that had happened so far since I was 3 and I came here.
1 hour later
"Okay I get it, so where is this Tyrone, or Nick?" Clair asked. "Um, I dont know where Nick is at this moment, but I know where Tyrone is. Follow me!" Matt said.
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Wait till you see Nick's part... What he is doing is terrorism to gain information. DO NOT TRY THAT AT HOME. (Or your country...)
P.S.: Clair's stats r below.
Name:Clair
Level: 15
HP: 60
MP: 50
Specials: Archer Spells (Beso toxio, etc.)
Special
abilities: Never runs out of arrows due to her magic quiver, only
misses one in every 30 shots,
speaks 20 different languages, can
seduce any guy.
Age: 16
Entrance: Made fun of Square Cnix. so now shes stuck in FF:X.
Description:
Perfect tan skin, perfect body, naturally blond hair,
nice to
people under 14, and adults, but not ppl around her age. Tyrone has a
crush on her.
