Me: This is Lilaya, coming at you with Figments chapter 7! Are you excited?
You: Yeah!!!!
I don't know why I've neglected both of my stories lately, but I'm awfully sorry! I'm trying to get back into it and not do it again. Just enjoy the chapter!
The scene reopens with KARTIK and SIMON picking themselves up off of the floor, obviously in pain. NOVEL and SNICKERS are still doubled over with laughter, and the others are just coming out of the room. At the sight of KARTIK and SIMON, the others start to laugh.
SIMON: This isn't funny!
SNICKERS: Then why am I laughing?
KARTIK: Just stop it! All of you!
NOVEL: What's the matter, boys? Upset 'cause a girl helped to beat you?
CAVEMAN: Wait…a girl helped to throw you over? You guys should be ashamed of yourselves!
TAZ: Yeah…even I have to say that that's sad.
GEM: You guys are just...I mean, Kartik is just so big and strong! How'd Novel manage to throw him over?
NOVEL: An adrenaline rush. It's very common. You can google it.
SNICKERS just barely manages to muffle a laugh. Then he looks at NOVEL and for a moment, it looks like they may be able to keep their straight faces…and then they can't. They erupt in laughter, leaving the other occupants of the room very confused.
CAVEMAN: What?!
GEM: Am I missing something?
KARTIK: Anyone else lost?
SIMON: I think everyone but them…..
SNICKERS: I'm sorry, it's just-
NOVEL: It was this line in-
SNICKERS: More of an indirect reference to-
NOVEL: Twilight…you know-
SNICKERS: When Edward was explaining…
Everyone else still looks confused. NOVEL and SNICKERS just sigh.
TAZ: Um….guys….I hate to break it to you….but I think we should go.
GEMMA: Why?
GEM: Because her grandmother just pulled up!
NOVEL: CRAP!!
SNICKERS: ok! Everyone out!
They all start to head down the stairs, but GEMMA stops them.
GEMMA: You can't go out that way!
ELLA: Why not?!
GEMMA: Think about how this looks. A bunch of guys and girls all in my room and we could all possibly be together! You know! Together together!
SNICKERS: Oh…..
They all run back to GEMMA's room and arrange themselves on the various sitting surfaces of the room.
TAZ: Who're you going to pair me with? Not caveman!
SIMON: It doesn't matter!
NOVEL: This is going to look so wrong.
GEMMA: Yeah! Half the world thinks that Snickers and Novel are going to get together anyway!
SNICKERS: We are not!
RYAN: Then why are you on her lap?
KARTIK: (with muffled laughter) I though it was supposed to be the other way around…..or didn't you know that?
NOVEL: (to Snickers) Why are you on my lap? Better yet, when did you get on my lap?
SNICKERS: I just felt like it….and plus! It's so squishy!!!
NOVEL: I am NOT squishy!
Everyone turns to raise an eyebrow at NOVEL
RYAN: Yes you are.
TAZ: He's not lying
GEMMA: Well, you are kind of comfortable to lie on….
GEM: Just a little
KARTIK: Your shoulder looks really comfy
SIMON: Even I would use you as my pillow
SNICKERS: See!
NOVEL: Are you guys trying to call me fat?!?!?!
SNICKERS: Not fat…..just squishy…..
GEM: Guys! We have a bigger problem here!!
TAZ: Oh yeah…..I'm hungry!
GEMMA: Not that!!! Grandmama is coming now!!!!
KARTIK: Everybody hide!
GEMMA: How is that supposed to work!??!?!?
NOVEL: Well….she doesn't pay much attention to you anyway….
SNICKERS: This it true….
RYAN: Quick! Caveman, turn into a rock!!!
CAVEMAN: ….So not funny….
KARTIK: Then why are we laughing?
SIMON: Everybody! Hide!!!
Everyone scrambles to find a hiding spot. CAVEMAN, KARTIK, GEM, TAZ, and ELLA all somehow manage to fit into GEMMA's closet. SNICKERS, NOVEL and SIMON dive under GEMMA's bed. RYAN hides behind a lamp. GEMMA's GRANDMOTHER enters the room. GEMMA is sitting on her bed, reading….and looking rather flushed.
GRANDMAMA: Gemma!!
GEMMA: You don't have to shout! I'm right here.
GRANDMAMA: Just came to let you know that the girls and I are having poker nigh- I mean tea downstairs for the rest of the night. And we'd appreciate it if you stayed out of our way….by the way….buy a new lamp…that one's almost as ugly as the clothes you're wearing! Ciao! (slams door)
GEMMA: (glares at door) The old hag and her friends…great….
Everyone seems to burst forth from their hiding places. KARTIK is looking decidedly offended, while NOVEL seems to be doing her best not to explode.
KARTIK: I am NOT ugly!
GEM: Well, if you ask my opinion…..
KARTIK: I didn't…but I still think you're cute (winks at Gem)
GEM: (in stage whisper) Novel! Help me! He's – (to Kartik) Get away from me! Stop touching me!!! (runs behind Novel)
TAZ: If it helps…. I think that you have nice hair.
NOVEL: Stop it Mia! Gosh! You are such a hair-slut!
TAZ gasps. Everyone gives NOVEL a look that says 'wtf?!'
NOVEL: What? It's true!
TAZ: That's the truth.
NOVEL: We have a more important issue at hand!!! Who kissed me under the bed?!?!?
Everyone glares accusingly at SNICKERS. He backs away with his hands held up.
SNICKERS: I wasn't the only one under the bed!! And it wasn't me!!
NOVEL: Then who…? SIMON!!!!!
GEMMA: SIMON!?!?!?!
SNICKERS: SIMON!!!!!!
GEM: SIMON!!!
CAVEMAN: SIMON!!!!
KARTIK: SIMON!!!!!
RYAN: RYAN!!!
ELLA: ELLA!!!
SIMON hurriedly backs into a corner. The others advance on him, with GEMMA and SNICKERS in the lead.
GEMMA: You-! You! You-
SNICKERS: Scumbag!
CAVMAN: Douche!
GEM: Idiot!
TAZ: Loser!
RYAN: You're the man! Cheating on your girl under her bed! I've got to try that!
NOVEL: Shut up Ryan!
ELLA: (frantically tries to relieve the tension by doing the jimmie dance, but no one pays her any mind) Simon, you're scum!!!
GEMMA: This is really low, Simon….I don't know if I can forgive you…..
SIMON: But…but…
GEMMA: No! I don't want to hear it!
SIMON: But….I thought she was you!!!!
NOVEL: Say what?!
SIMON: Although I don't know how I could have thought that! She couldn't possibly match your radiant beauty!
Most of the occupants of the room mime gagging. NOVEL, however, looks very insulted. GEMMA practically swoons.
GEMMA: Oh, Simon!
NOVEL: Oh, Simon, my foot! Are you trying to say that I'm not pretty? Huh? Are you?
SIMON: I was only saying that you couldn't compare to –
NOVEL: (points angry finger at Simon) You're just jealous because my left butt cheek looks better that your face!
SNICKERS: She's got a point there….
EVERYONE stops and turns to look at SNICKERS. A few raise an eyebrow. SNICKERS back away defensively with his hands held up.
KARTIK: Are you saying that you've seen her butt?
SNICKERS: No! No!
GEM: Then, what are you saying?
SNICKERS: Nothing!
TAZ: Have you been looking at it?
SNICKERS: Maybe…..
NOVEL: You know what? Let's just stop right there! Gemma, Simon, Kartik, Snick….we're going to therapy!
KARTIK: I'm Indian….and Rakshana…I don't believe in therapy!
NOVEL: That's just too flipping bad!! We're going!
GEMMA: Novel's right….we really need it!
NOVEL: Sorry the rest of you guys…but we can't all go… I think you should be happy that you don't have as many problems….
GEM: Bye guys!
EVERYONE proceeds to tell their goodbyes, with some promising to meet for therapy. After they all file out of GEMMA's room, GEMMA hears two car engines rev up and the resounding crash…
SIMON: KARTIK!!!!
Author's Note: 6th June, 2009
I know…Forever, right? But this is the end of Figments….
I do think, however, that I'm going to continue the story of Gemma, Simon, Kartik, Snickers, and Novel in therapy. Looks out for a new story from me in about two weeks! I'll decide on a name later! Just subscribe to me. It'll probably be in story form, not a play. Later my lovely readers!
