A/N So here is the final chapter. I don't like it, but oh well, I was in a major rush to finish it today. I don't know what I'm going to write next, but I don't think I'm going to do the third AE. I don't even remember what I was going to write for it, so don't count on seeing it any time soon, if at all. But anyways, I hope that you guys enjoyed this, and look out to see what I'll continue next!
Kirsten's plan was a good one, but I was still afraid that Marissa wouldn't want me anymore. I had hurt her badly and knew that I didn't deserve another chance with her after everything, but I still wanted her so much, so I figured I needed to swallow my fears and follow the plan. The first part had already been completed; sending her an invitation to a party the Cohens were throwing. Kirsten had come up with the party idea, saying that I needed a way to get her near me without seeming too obvious with my intentions, and she loved to throw a party so it was settled.
Now it was time to set in motion the second part; ensuring that she comes. I get my cell phone and find Summer's number in my contact list, then press dial and put the phone to my ear. She answers on the second ring and says, "Hello?"
"Um, hey, Summer…" I say nervously.
"Ryan?" She asks, utterly confused.
"Yeah, it's me," I say awkwardly.
"What are you calling for?" She asks curiously.
"I need you to do me a favor," I state with a sigh. "And I know that I don't deserve anything after what I did to Marissa…"
"You're damn right you don't deserve anything!" she practically yells in to the phone. "You broke my best friend's heart. She didn't stop crying for days."
I close my eyes and imagine the tears flowing down Marissa's beautiful face and feel an ache in my heart knowing that I put those tears there. "I'm sorry," I say, my voice very broken.
"Sorry doesn't cut it. I shouldn't even listen to you right now. And you have the nerve to ask me for a favor…"
"I love her," I blurt out before I can help it. This silences Summer. "Is she there right now?"
"No, she's at home," Summer says quietly.
I let out a sigh of relief. "Okay, so I know that I was wrong, but I want her back. I need her back." I groan and say, "I miss her. I was so stupid for telling her I don't love her, because I do and I want her back so much…"
"What do you want me to do about it?" Summer asks with a torn voice.
"You know the party at my house?" I ask.
"Yeah…"
"Make sure she goes. I don't care what it takes to get her there," I say with a small smile. "I have a plan…"
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The day of the party I was so anxious that I couldn't do anything. I had to force myself to eat, and Seth continually rolled his eyes and made fun of me. Kirsten got mad at him and that shut him up for the rest of the day.
That night as I was getting ready I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I seemed to have grown so much older this past year. Gone was the boy who had fallen head over heels in love with the girl, and in his place stood a man taller and stronger, both physically and emotionally. My face told a story of someone that had lost and found love. But for the first time in months, my face held something that I had thought I would never see again in my eyes; hope.
People started arriving at seven. I stood near the staircase as Kirsten greeted them, waiting anxiously for only one person. Marissa arrived at around seven thirty with Summer, Larry, and her mom. I stood behind while Kirsten greeted her. "Marissa, I'm so glad you came!" She says, giving the woman of my dreams a hug.
"Well at least one person is," Marissa says quietly, earning a sigh from Kirsten.
I walk out of my hiding place towards the two of them. Kirsten immediately sees me and smiles widely. "I wouldn't be so sure…" Marissa turns to meet where Kirsten's eyes are directed, and her eyes connect with mine. My heart beats hard in my chest and I nervously put my hands in my pockets as I stop before her. Kirsten leaves quickly after saying, "Well, I'll let you two be…" I watch her go and then my eyes fall on Marissa again.
I had forgotten how handsome he was in a suit. The sight of him standing before me makes me lose my breath. In that moment I have to remind myself how to breathe. He looks into my eyes intently, but his expression is unreadable. He doesn't smile, just stands there staring at me for the longest time before I break the silence and apologize. "Kirsten invited me, I shouldn't have come…" I look away from his eyes. I start to step further into the house after hearing the doorbell ring. As I'm walking away from him, he places his hand on my arm, the warmth sending shivers throughout my whole body.
My heartbeat triples in pace as I feel his breath against my ear. "Maybe it was me," he murmurs, his voice low and completely seductive.
I turn to answer him, but he's opening the door and greeting the guests that had just arrived. He turns back to me while hugging someone politely and our eyes catch. I look away and walk towards Summer, completely confused at the play of events.
My hand was still tingling from where I'd touched her arm, and my heart wouldn't slow down. I watched her as she talked to Summer with a frown on her face. I smiled slightly as her arms waved around frantically while she tried to explain something. Summer looked just as confused as her, but she didn't say much of anything. I had made her promise not to say anything about me asking specifically for her to arrive at the party. Seth came and walked over to me. "So how's it going?" He asked, taking a sip of his drink.
I turned to him and said, "It's going great so far, now it's time for your part."
Seth rolled his eyes. "Why do I have to dance with her again?"
I shrugged and said, "It would ease her onto the dance floor."
"And why can't you just tell her how you feel?" He asked with a raise of his eyebrows.
That was a good question. And I honestly didn't know the answer. "It's not that simple…" I say with a frown.
Seth rolls his eyes. "Making her dance with me, then you…I just don't get the appeal."
"Well, I hate to dance," I say with a sigh. "And dancing with her….wouldn't that prove how much I love her? I wouldn't dance with her if I hate both dancing and her, after all."
Seth rolled his eyes and patted my shoulder. "Whatever you say, buddy. But just a warning, I have some mad dancing skills, so she may end up falling in love with me on the dance floor…" I roll my eyes and watch him walk away.
I was talking to Seth when there was a tap on my shoulder. I knew it wasn't Ryan by the way my body didn't respond to the person. I turned to look at whoever was there and saw Seth smiling down at me. "Hey, Marissa…wanna dance?"
I raise an eyebrow and say, "Okay…"
He smiles and sticks out his hand. "Come on, I have some amazing dance skills that I really think you'd like to see." He winks at me and I laugh.
I hand my drink to Summer and say, "I'll be back in a little bit." I take Seth's hand and he leads me to an area where some people are dancing. We get into a comfortable dancing position with a few inches separating us and start to dance in silence. Finally, after a while I ask, "How's Ryan?"
Seth sighs and twirls me around. When I'm face to face with him again he says, "Well, he's been better. We worry about him sometimes. This has just been a hard year on him."
We dance for a couple of seconds more before I softly say, "I wish there was something I could do to make him see that I never meant to hurt him…" Seth gets a wide smile on his face looking behind me and then twirls me again, letting go of my hand. I land in a pair of strong arms and immediately my heart beat increases. Ryan looks down at me with a blank expression. "Um, sorry…" I mumble, getting slightly embarrassed.
Ryan shakes his head and his face twists into one of contentment. "Do you mind if I steal your dance partner?" He asks, his question aimed at Seth but his eyes never stray from mine.
Seth shakes his head and says, "Go ahead." He walks away, leaving me in Ryan's arms.
Ryan angles his head at me and softly says, "You're supposed to put your arms around my neck." He smiles just a little and I feel my stomach flutter. I wrap my arms around his neck, keeping a large amount of space between us. He takes a step closer to me, his hands resting on my waist. "You don't have to be so far away…"
My arms tighten around his neck and suddenly my senses are invaded by him. We're so close that I can feel the heat radiating from his body, and so close that I can smell his sweet cologne. Our bodies sway to the music and I lean in to rest my head against his shoulder, not able to keep away from him any longer.
Holding her against me makes me realize how stupid it was to stay away. I turn my head so that I can smell her hair and my nostrils are invaded by the smell of her lavender shampoo. I could close my eyes in that moment and die a happy man, with her in my arms. My heart beats loud in my chest as I say, "I've missed you."
She goes rigid in my arms and stops moving. She pulls back and stares into my eyes, her own confused but hopeful. "You…what?" She asks incredulously.
"I've missed you," I repeat, my voice strong and firm. "Marissa, I…"
She pulls away from me as the song ends and says, "I need to um…go check on Larry…" She walks away from me, leaving me gaping behind her. I sigh and realize this is going to be harder than I'd previously expected.
I go to find Kirsten and she smiles at me. "How's it going?"
I sigh and say, "She walked away from me right before I told her what I felt."
She frowns. "That wasn't part of the plan."
"I think this isn't a very good plan," I say with a frown of my own.
"It's not a very extravagant plan, but it's a good one. Just improvise; all you need to do is tell her how you feel. It doesn't matter if you do that dancing or just come out and tell her," Kirsten says, and then walks away to talk to some guests.
I sigh and then decide to go in search of Marissa. I find her sitting a little farther away from the backyard, but still in the Cohen property. I slowly walk towards her, not able to get over the fact that she's so beautiful and I had sent her away. When I reach her I sit next to her and softly say, "Hey."
She glances over at me quickly and softly replies, "Hey."
Her face illuminated by the moon is almost majestic. It makes me want to stick out my hand and just touch the side of her face to see if she's as smooth and soft as I remember. And those lips…
He stares at me, but I don't really know what he sees. His mind seems to be far away, but I wished it was here on Earth with me. Suddenly his eyes look down and I know he's back here with me on this planet. "So how do you like the party?" he asks, and then frowns.
"It's fine," I reply quietly.
"Kirsten has wanted to throw one for a while," he says with a shrug. "Ever since I got back she wanted to show everyone that I was alive and breathing."
I nod and remain quiet for a few minutes. He continues to look at me with a weird expression and it makes me remember how he used to look at me with so much love and adoration in his eyes. This look is similar, but different in some way. "How have you been feeling?"
He shrugs and says, "Fine for the most part. It still hurts to walk sometimes, and I feel frustrated a lot….but I'm okay." He pauses and then returns the question to me. "How about you?"
"I don't have an injury like yours," I say softly, and it's true. The only part of me that's been aching is my heart.
He seems to sense what I'm thinking because his face softens and he gets a troubled look in his eyes. "Marissa…" he murmurs, my name sounding soft and sweet on his lips.
"Look, I know that I was stupid to believe that we had a chance to even go back to being friends," I say quietly, avoiding his eyes.
"No, it's not stupid…"
I nod and say, "Yeah, it is. And I get why you don't want to be with me anymore. I wouldn't want to be with me either, if I was you."
He shakes his head, the motion evident from the corner of my eyes. "No, really…"
I nod again and say, "I get everything that you said. I'm sorry I ever thought that you could love me after everything I've put you through. Since it's what you want, I'll let you go…"
"It's not what I want," he says, and my heart stops for a second.
"What?" I ask softly, my voice clipped and broken.
"I don't want you out of my life," He says. His words make me turn to stare into those eyes of his that I love so much.
"You don't have to say that to make me feel better about myself, Ryan," I protest with a sigh. "I don't deserve it."
"I'm not doing it to make you feel better about yourself," He replies, still looking at me intently.
"Yes, you are. I know you are. I don't deserve…" I hear a groan and then suddenly his lips are on mine.
She could be so stubborn sometimes. The woman seriously drove me crazy.
Her lips were soft and every bit as delicious as I remembered. I put my hand on the side of her face and rub her cheek tenderly, my body feeling like it's floating. I pull back a little and rest my forehead against hers, and she finishes her statement, "you." I smile and look into her eyes, seeing the confusion there. "What…" I stop her from finishing her thought yet again, pressing my lips tenderly against hers.
When I pull back I say, "Marissa, I love you."
The bewilderment in her eyes makes me chuckle slightly. "But you said…"
I nod and sigh. "I know, I was wrong. I thought that I didn't need you…"
"So you lied to me?" She asks, her voice barely a whisper. "You put me through all that pain for nothing?"
I sigh and kiss her lips again, but she's not into it. "I'm sorry," I murmur. "Please forgive me…I thought I could live without you but I can't. Not anymore."
She sighs and it's only then that I see she's starting to cry. "I…" She says, but then she trails off.
I kneel in front of her and put my hands on both sides of her face so that she can look into my eyes. "I know I'm a jerk and I never should've left you in the first place." I kiss away some of her tears and this makes her cry harder. "Don't cry, please don't cry," I beg her.
Her voice comes in a hiccup. "I…" She repeats.
When she doesn't say anything else I ask, "You what?"
"I love you too," she murmurs softly, putting her hands on my face. She looks at me for the longest time and then smiles through her tears.
I smile widely and lean in to kiss her once again, this time more passionately. She wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me down onto her, lying back on the ground. She slips her tongue into my mouth and I taste her for the first time in such a long time that I kiss her harder, causing her to moan. "Maybe we shouldn't go this fast…" I say, pulling away from her. She pulls me back down to her lips and I laugh a little.
"How about this?" She asks, kissing me slowly.
I give a throaty moan and she giggles. "The things you do to me…"
She pulls back and stares into my eyes happily. "Maybe we should take it to the pool house though." She raises her eyebrows suggestively.
I lean in to capture her lips again. "Maybe we should wait until they leave…" I murmur against her lips, referring to the people still at the party.
She nods and pulls away. "Yeah, that sounds good."
I start to climb up off of her but she pulls me back down. I laugh and say, "Come on, we need to go back."
She kisses me one last time and then allows me to stand and help her up. I wrap my arm around her waist and we walk up to the hill, finally together.
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When everyone left we went into the pool house together. I figured it would be awkward after so long, but we fit together just as perfectly as we used to. While I moved inside of her and kissed her sweaty body, she moaned my name and dug her nails into my back. It wasn't long before we both came together and I collapsed on the spot next to her. She smiled and leaned in to kiss me slowly after we regained our normal breathing. "I love you," She murmurs as she stares into my eyes.
He tells me he loves me too and then we just hold each other for a while. Suddenly he turns to me and blurts out, "I tried to kill myself." He nods to confirm his statement and then softly says, "Twice." I don't say anything, sensing he needs to talk, but I hold him closer to me, letting him rest his head on my chest. "The first time my gun jammed…it was ready and everything though. It was the day before I got shot. The second time was that night that I told you I didn't love you. I didn't really point the gun at myself, but I thought about it and almost did. I just couldn't live without you…" He turns his face and buries it in my neck. "I'm so sorry…"
I lean down and kiss the top of his head gently, and run my fingers tenderly through his hair. "It's okay," I murmur, my voice more firm than I thought it would be. "I'm here now." I keep murmuring to him until he calms down, and when his breathing evens out I know he's asleep.
I stay there for about an hour, just listening to him breathing. I stroke his face tenderly, marveling at the fact that he's now mine. I knew then staring down at him that we would never be separated again. Neither of us could handle it. It amazes me at how the roles were reversed. While before Ryan had saved me from wanting to kill myself, now I had saved Ryan. I guess in a way, we were both equal now.
I kiss his forehead tenderly before I disentangle myself from his body. I put on my clothes, but make sure I remain quiet so that he doesn't wake up. I smile and write a note for him, one that said I had to go home to make sure Larry was okay and take care of him. As I walked out of the pool house I smiled. I couldn't wait to see him tomorrow.
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Individual replies:
thekiller00: I hope this was alright.
Juzzy88: Why thank you.
elly: I had a plan all figured out, and then, well, I lost it…so he kind of didn't really have a plan anymore, lol.
girlz-rule: lol, I told you! And so did your sister! But no, you wouldn't listen to us!
J7chick18: Well that's good that you're getting better. If only I can now.
sailaway: It's very easy to be depressed at the age of 14. Even my grandma seems to be against me now. She told me that she hopes I have an abusive husband when I grow up. How would you feel after that? Emails don't show up in reviews. I'll post the link in my profile so that you can see it clearly. It'll be at the very top of the page. I'll try to write a one-shot soon.
