History has a way of repeating itself.
Once, Liara would've enjoyed such an irony. Once, when she was young and more focused on digging in the dirt to uncover the unknown, of what had once been. She would've liked that sentiment.
But not now.
History had been repeating itself all her life and it had almost killed the galaxy. But now, now there was a chance for all races to forge a new history for themselves and for the galaxy as a whole...but first, for Liara T'Soni, history had to repeat itself one last time.
Her message was embedded in the signals that Normandy had been throwing out in all directions since the crash. Buried were only those who knew what to look for and where to look would find them. It was a vain hope, a fool's hope...but it had worked last time, hopefully it would work again.
Liara had taken a quiet moment to herself to check her consoles, worry etching lines on her face as they booted up. She'd turned them off to conserve power, diverting it back to where it belonged, in the heart of the Normandy. The more power they had, the quicker the engineering crew could fix the ship and they could get back. Liara's desire to go back to Thessia was strong, as was rebuilding the Shadow Broker's network...but it was Earth, a world she had no real bond with, that called to her strongest of all. And she wasn't the only one.
Everyone aboard wished to leave. The human crew wanted to return to the birthworld of their species to rebuild it. To find their friends and relatives and reunite with them, or lay them to rest, whichever was more appropriate. Also to repair the bond with the world that had ultimately birthed them. Liara understood their desire, she felt it herself...but there was something deeper for her, perhaps only matched by one other aboard, if what she had gleaned from her bonding with a human was true.
Shepard.
Once more, Liara found herself searching for the body of Commander Freya Shepard. But this time, the race wasn't against others who wished to sell the Commander's body to the highest bidder...this time it was potentially a race again time to try and save her life. There was no evidence that Shepard was alive, but the quicker Liara got people aboard the Citadel to search...the quicker everyone would know either way. Would she return to Earth to find her friend alive and healing? Or would she help bury the woman she deeply admired and who would always be a part of her? She hoped for the former...and not just for her own sake but for everyone's. But she couldn't help but feel like part of her had died, and that part was the connection she shared with the Commander.
Liara wiped her tears on her sleeve. She's not even realised she was crying. She gave a little laugh as, had Glyph been here, the little VI would've made some comment upon it. Another tear fell at the thought. She actually missed Glyph. Yes, the VI had been invaluable in her operations, but she missed the banter it gave to her on random, unimportant things, completely missing irony or sarcasm spoken to it.
She had tinkered with the VI often when she had taken over the role of Shadow Broker. She felt she'd almost got to know it while she fixed its glitches. It responded well to her after that, like a properly trained pet. But Glyph no longer graced her quarters and it probably never would again.
Glyph had shorted out after the Normandy was hit and everything she had tried to reinitialise it had failed. Even the backups couldn't seem to resurrect the VI. Goddess, the backups of the backups were just as dead. It was like Glyph had been completely erased. The technology was still there, but it just wasn't working. One night, unable to sleep, Liara had theorised that the modules responsible to creating and projecting Glyph had been wiped clean of all traces of the VI's program and, in truth, all that was needed to reinitialise it was to rewrite the VI's code from the ground up. It was beyond her own capability, but it made her wonder, would this rewrite bring Glyph back or would it be something else?
It was a sobering thought that extended beyond thoughts of synthetic life.
She hadn't confided this thought to anyone...not directly. She had informed Kaidan that Glyph had stopped working, in much the same way as EDI, but nothing more. She had only reported it to him due to the simple fact that he was the ranking officer aboard the ship...so technically, if she read the Alliance Regulations correctly, the Normandy was his ship now. She didn't say much to him, keeping her report brief and formal; she didn't want to burden him any more than he already was.
Human grief was something that puzzled Liara somewhat, thought she had never voiced it. Although linking minds with Shepard had meant some bleed through from the Commander's mind, Shepard was still an alien, and her thought processes, although they had an analogous with her own, were still mysterious. But she had known Kaidan long enough to see he was in emotional pain. Much like he had been when Shepard had perished on the first Normandy...but this was different. Worse. Liara understood. She knew of the love they shared, the Commander and the Major. She had felt echoes of it in the past and it played on the edge of Shepard's mind when they had shared Liara's memories.
An awkward silence fell between the two of them after her report, and Liara fidgeted, unsure. The only time she had properly observed the human grieving process was when Ash had died. But that was less than helpful as Shepard and Kaidan had found solace together. The moment stretched and Kaidan had made his excuse to leave.
'Major!' she had called out after him. He'd hesitated and half turned to regard her. He looked lost, tired and angry...but also defeated.
'I'm sorry.' She breathed.
Kaidan had nodded. 'Me too.' He almost whispered and she'd hardly glimpsed him since.
Joker was a different matter. She saw him on a regular basis as he seemed to be drifting through the ship like some sort of ghost. Liara saw the same look in his eye as Kaidan had. He was also showing the same decidedly moody demeanour that Kaidan seemed to wrap himself in. However, Joker seemed to have become almost volatile in comparison to the stoic silence that it was reported to now come from Kaidan. He had shouted at various crew members a number of times when they had tried to give him their condolences. Not to mention snapping at people and shouting that he didn't want or need their pity when they said they didn't need any help. And when he wasn't shouting and swearing at his co-workers, Liara would often see him sitting in the mess, staring into the bottom of a bowl or ration packet as if the answer to everything would be found there, as if all he needed to look long and hard enough.
'What do you want?' he had snapped at Liara when she had sat down at his table. She'd picked a seat not near to him, but not at the other end of the table.
'Merely to eat.' She had replied, more coldly than she had intended. 'But if that bothers you, I can eat elsewhere.' She got up to leave and Joker had blanched.
'God, I'm sorry Liara...I just thought you were going to say something or something...I don't know.'
Liara found herself sitting down once more and looking at the pilot. He'd grown so fond of EDI, he was taking her death badly, and for a moment, she thought about telling him about her theory. But she didn't as, the theory she had could be taken either way and to give him false hope that EDI could be restored...it seemed cruel.
'I wouldn't know what to say, even if I had planned to speak to you. Grief is something that is very individual thing...I heard Shepard telling EDI that once. Plus, it is difficult for me to judge the crews reactions.'
'Oh.' Was all Joker managed in return, seemingly taken aback by Liara's rather blunt honest.
They ate in silence but Liara spoke before she left. It was risky, but it was worth a try.
'With your permission, Dr. Michel has been thinking of laying EDI out in the AI core. She thinks it might be more appropriate, so the peace of those who go to see her isn't broken by angry, sunburnt marines.'
She watched Joker struggle to process what was said before nodding, his voice failing. He got up and shuffled off, muttering a 'Thanks Liara' to her before she left. She watched him go and her heart sank a little. Although she had never exactly approved of Joker's desire for EDI, they had spoken enough times on a variety of subject matters for Liara to at least appreciate EDI's intellect and intelligence. Plus, she had to wonder if what Joker had felt for EDI was any different from the feelings she had felt for Shepard. All she had witnessed in the galaxy at Shepard's side had muddied the waters on such things. Things weren't so clear cut any more.
Liara sighed, wiping her face again. It hurt to think on such things. It hurt that she had lost so much. But much had also been gained too; she merely hoped the cost had not been too great to free the galaxy.
She looked up at her consoles. She'd have to turn them off again soon, but she hoped something might come through while she waited. She wondered idly who would contact her first. In her heart, she hoped it would be Feron. She missed him too.
The minutes ticked by, and the screen remained blank. Maybe tomorrow, she thought. Maybe history will repeat itself tomorrow.
