I've settled in in England a bit and now have a good internet connection *yay*
This chapter is still not a happy chapter, but at least we're flashing back to happier times ...
the next chapter is going to be a happier one, promise!
Hope you like it! :)
The Weekend Deal
Chapter 7: Good Times, Bad Times
Damon entered the bar, his black leather jacket hanging loosely off his shoulder. He sat down at the bar and ordered a whiskey on ice.
He swallowed it down in one gulp and waved at the bartender to order the next one. Three weeks had passed since Elena had left his apartment, but he felt as if it happened only yesterday. He felt desolate, hopeless and completely devastated. He had promised himself that he would never allow a woman to make him feel this way again and in the last three years he had been doing a great job in protecting his heart, but Elena had managed to do what no woman had ever accomplished before. In only three months, she had become the most important part in his life, he had fallen for her deeper than he had imagined possible and in a final act whose intensity could rival any classical drama she had broken him.
They had connected so well on a level he had never experienced with anyone before that he hadn't even thought about protecting his heart. He couldn't describe how angry he was at himself for repeating the same mistake over and over again. He knew that he needed to get a grip, that he had to pull himself together, but he didn't have the energy to do so. He got up, went to work, went to bed and got up again. He couldn't even bring himself to find a distraction. When Katherine had left him, he had buried himself in women. It hadn't filled the emptiness, but it had definitely made him feel better. This time, he hadn't even touched himself. He had tried to relieve himself in the shower once, but his thoughts had flashed back to that last night Elena had spent in his bed, covered in his shirt and her small panties, and he hadn't been in the mood to continue stroking himself. The painful and vulnerable expression on her face after he had rejected her still haunted him.
Work wasn't a good distraction either. Jamie was clearly avoiding him, but every now and again they bumped into each other and his stomach flipped everytime they talked. He wasn't mad at Jamie, how could he be, but it just hurt so damn much that he couldn't even have a normal conversation with him. He had thought about asking how Elena was doing but he hadn't been able to get the words out.
He gulped down his second round of drinks, letting it slowly warm him from the inside. Over and over he told his mind that he hadn't known her that long, and that it would be alright eventually, but his heart didn't listen. He had never been in so much pain. Things would get better eventually, he knew that from experience. So all he could do was sit here and wait until his thoughts were not consumed by her anymore and try to comfort himself with alcohol. He knew he was being pathetic, and he hated himself for it.
He felt someone wrap their arms around him, like Elena had done so often. He had loved the feel of her skin against his, he had loved feeling her breath on his neck - it had felt so intimate, so honest, so right.
Elena put her arms around his neck, nuzzling into him from behind.
Damon wasn't wearing a shirt and she still wasn't immune to the effect his body had on her. Her arms wandered over his back, leaving invisible circles on his skin and Damon moaned sleepily as she touched him.
Elena's stomach let out a loud groan.
"Someone wants us to get up for breakfast," she whispered in his ear.
"I don't want to move," he pouted, repeating the words she had said on their first sleepover when they had been sleeping together on the couch.
Elena pulled away from him, smiling at the memory.
Once again, they had fallen asleep in her bed and Damon hadn't gone over to the living room. It was becoming a routine between them. At the beginning of the evening they always agreed that he would sleep on the couch, but at the end, neither of them wanted to sleep apart. When they were lying on the couch, Elena was too tired to get up, and when they were lying in her bed, somehow they always fell asleep.
"Do you want to have breakfast in bed?" she offered.
Damon nodded enthusiastically and looked at her with wide puppy eyes. Elena thought he looked incredibly cute when he was doing that, so young and innocent.
He pulled her over and cuddled into her arms.
"I think I love you," he said jokingly.
He saw her frown at his words for a few seconds, before she recovered herself.
"Don't you have to get up for that? Breakfast in bed, remember?"
Damon cocked his head to the side, teasing her. He knew she loved their extensive Sunday morning cuddles and that she didn't want to get up yet.
"I changed my mind, I'm not hungry anymore." She nuzzled into his neck again and took in the smell of him. "Please let me stay like this for a few more minutes."
Damon had to smile; he knew her so well. Her nose touched his neck, wandering from his left shoulder to his ear. He could not feel happier than in these moments when he was this close to her.
"Who am I to hinder your wishes." He put her arm around his waist, bringing her closer to him.
She softly bit his ear. "I could have you for breakfast," she laughed. "You seem tasty."
She knew that she was crossing a line here, but she constantly did with Damon, and he never seemed to mind.
"I think we could arrange that."
He turned around, a huge grin on his face, and began to bite her shoulder. His teeth caressed her skin, sending tingles over her body. His mouth wandered over to her neck, softly teasing her throat. She had to stop him before it got out of hand, before the feelings in her belly went lower, to places she couldn't allow them to be.
"Alright, alright, I'll go," she laughed, escaped his embrace and stood up.
"Just as I was getting to the good parts."
Elena pulled the covers over his head, shaking her head in amusement. She went over to the kitchen. After a few minutes, she returned with a huge breakfast tray and knocked on the door frame.
"Mister Salvatore, room service." She smiled at him innocently."Your breakfast is ready, Sir."
"Miss Gilbert, thank you so much." He decided to participate in her role-play. "Why are you wearing nothing but your pyjama, Miss? Isn't that a bit - unusual?" He smirked, arching his eyebrows.
"Ah, yes, I suppose it is," she grinned. "I thought maybe I could join you?"
She looked down at the ground, trying to suppress her laughter. She hadn't planned the sexual innuendo in her tone, maybe Damon's personality was slowly rubbing off on her.
Damon was sitting at the end of the bed, his body rested against the wall, and patted at the place between his legs. "Please do."
His memories got interrupted when he heard someone whisper in his ear. "Figured I would find you here."
Unfortunately, it didn't sound like Elena's voice at all. He couldn't help but feel disappointed. For a moment he had thought that it were indeed Elena's arms, that she had been looking for him because she felt as miserable as he was.
"Andie." He tried to sound enthusiastic, but it came out annoyed.
"What are you doing here? I thought it is Elena day." She winked at him.
He fought the urge to grab the nearest napkin and put it in her mouth just to get her to shut up. His Saturdays were already bad enough, he didn't need a painful reminder, thank you very much.
"Yeah, well, things change." His voice was dark, filled with annoyance. He hoped she would take the hint.
"That's such a shame. You two were the cutest best friends I've ever met."
Of course she didn't. He got up and took his jacket from the barstool next to him.
"Leaving already? I thought maybe you would like to come over to my place."
She arched her eyebrows in a way that he figured was supposed to be seductive, but he wasn't in the mood tonight.
"Not tonight, Andie. Maybe next week, okay?"
"You can booty call me everytime you want," she offered.
Damon just nodded and left the bar. Great. Apparently he wasn't just heartbroken, he had become asexual as well. How ironic was that? He shook his head and began to slowly walk home to his empty apartment.
Meanwhile, Elena was sitting on her couch, covered in a blanket and trying to comfort herself with ice cream. She had spent the last two Saturday nights at Caroline's, but she didn't feel like going today. She felt miserable, and even the tons of ice cream she had consumed had not helped to improve her mood. She nuzzled into the blanket.
She could not think about anything else. She had tried to watch a movie, she had tried to cook in order to distract herself, she had gone into the bedroom to read a book - everything reminded her of him, every place in their apartment reminded her of him. She closed her eyes and she could still smell him on the blanket. She thought about his smell, about how good he had tasted, about how amazing his mouth had felt on hers. She just couldn't stop torturing herself, he was consuming her every thought. She couldn't stop thinking about the last look he had given her, couldn't stop thinking about the pained expression on his face when he had pushed her off his body. She closed her eyes.
Sunlight was falling through the window when she opened them again. She must have fallen asleep on the couch. The position she was in reminded her of their first sleepover ...
She snuggled into the pillow beneath her. It felt a bit hard, but not in a bad way, more like a comfortable, clearly-defined hard. And it smelled incredibly good. She took a deep breath and breathed in the smell. It smelled a bit like washing powder, and like a mix between male deodorant and aftershave. Wait a second. She knew that smell ...
She opened her eyes and her face was about two inches away from Damon who looked down at her with wide open eyes. Her arms were wrapped around his waist and her head was lying on his chest.
"Wow, did we really do this? I thought it was a dream," Elena mumbled sleepily, rubbing her eyes at the sunlight that filled the room.
"Morning after regrets?" he teased, smiling his typical one-sided smile.
"Not really," she smiled back at him. "I've slept really well, thanks to you."
"Well, then we really need to repeat this sometime soon."
She could see that he was relieved at her reaction.
"What about you? I mean, I was the one on top, clearly it wasn't as comfortable for you."
She wasn't fishing for compliments, although she had to admit it sounded a bit like that.
"Spending ten hours snuggled up against a beautiful woman - you're not gonna hear me complain," he chuckled.
She escaped his embrace and got up, putting her arms above her head, stretching them. "I'm going to take a shower and then we can have breakfast, alright?"
She looked at Damon and noticed that he looked a bit anxious.
"Actually, I think I'm just getting dressed and then I'll be heading home," he said, trying to sound casual.
Elena looked up at him in surprise. "Oh, okay, that's fine, too." The disappointment in her voice didn't escape him. He went into the bathroom, quickly brushed his teeth and came back into the living room.
"Thank you, Elena. For everything." He gave her a hug and quickly left the apartment.
Elena shook her head. What was that? A moment ago, he was pressed up against her and now he couldn't stay in the same room with her for two minutes? Something must have been bothering him. She couldn't come up with something though, so she shook off the thought and went into the bathroom.
Twenty minutes later, she heard the bell ring.
"Damon." She was surprised to see him standing in front of her door again so soon.
"Did you forget anything?"
"No, I, er -," he stammered. "Yes. I forgot to ask if you've got any plans for today."
His hands reached behind his back and he held up a picknick basket, waiting nervously for her response. He knew that it was a bit too much, considering this was the second time they had seen each other, but it had just overcome him.
"I know a really nice place just outside town. You're up for it?" He smiled, raising his eyebrows in suspense.
"Of course."
A huge smile was plastered all over Elena's face. She took a step forward and wrapped her arms around his waist.
"I thought I had done something to chase you away."
"Yeah, like that's possible." He cupped her cheek with his hand. "I will always be here for you Elena. As long as you need me."
Tears ran down her face at the memory. She didn't want to be this weak and it infuriated her that she couldn't stop thinking about him, but she couldn't help herself. She reached over to get a tissue when she suddenly noticed Jamie standing at the front door. She hadn't even noticed that he had entered the flat. She shook her head in disbelief at herself.
"Elena, what's the matter?" Jamie walked over, putting his arms around her in a close embrace.
Elena kept looking at the ground, so he put his thumb on her chin, tenderly forcing her head up so that she had no choice but to look at him.
Her eyes were swollen and red, and she looked terrible.
"Please tell me," he pleaded, his eyes searching hers.
"Nothing. Don't worry."
She forced a smile that didn't reach her eyes.
"You've obviously been crying."
She didn't want to tell him how miserable she was feeling. She wanted nothing more than to show him that everything was alright, he deserved to hear that she was alright. Maybe if she pretended hard enough it would turn out to actually be alright in the end.
"Did you get nightmares again? Why didn't you go to Caroline's?" He stroked her hair tenderly.
"I didn't have nightmares," she reassured him. "Everything's fine."
"Please don't lie to me."
She said nothing.
He let out a deep sigh. Elena had been in this state for three weeks now, and he hadn't said anything to her because she had told him not to. He had thought that things would get better, eventually, and that she would get over her hurt soon, but that didn't seem to be the case. It took all his strength to get the words out, but he had to ask her, he couldn't pretend that everything was alright when both of them knew that this clearly wasn't the case.
"It's him, right? You miss him. You miss Damon."
The words left his mouth quickly, they had been in his mind for so long and were now eager to get out as soon as possible.
Elena kept looking at the ground, curling her toes like she was in pain.
"I don't want to talk about him right now... please," she pleaded, looking up at him.
She couldn't even hear his name without tears welling up in her eyes.
"Do you love him?"
And there it was. A little question, four innocent words that had the power to decide over the course of his life, that could change things forever.
"Jamie, please."
She was evading the question. She hadn't denied it, he realized.
"It's a simple question, do you love him or not?"
He knew he was being insensitive, but he needed to know. For once in his life he pushed back the urge to pull her in his arms and to comfort her, to tell her that everything would be okay and that he loved her. For once in his life he was the one that needed to be reassured.
Elena didn't say anything for a few moments.
"I don't know. It's not that simple," she said finally.
"It should be."
Jamie shook his head, went over to the window and stared out for a few moments. This felt like his worst nightmare had just come true. He put his head in his hands and leaned down on the window frame.
"I'm so sorry."
Elena stood up and went over to him. She touched one of his hands with her fingertips and softly tore it away from his face.
"Jamie, look at me." She looked him directly in the eyes. "I don't love him. Not like I love you, it's different."
A flash of hope filled his eyes, but it was gone within a second.
"But you have feelings for him."
"Yes."
There was no point in denying it. It was true, she had feelings for Damon. She had realized it at the fountain, and she had tried to ignore it when she told him that they could never see each other, but it hadn't worked out. Her mind had lost the battle against her heart when she had visited him. She knew that she felt something for him, it consumed her, and she was terrified of the intensity of her feelings. But she hadn't lied to Jamie. She didn't know if she loved him yet. She was clearly in love with him, but she wasn't sure if she loved him.
"But you already knew that, that's why we decided -" She couldn't get the words out. "- what we decided three weeks ago."
"I didn't realize he meant that much to you." Jamie's face was serious, and his eyes looked sadder than they had ever been before.
"I wouldn't have suggested it had I known that you feel so much for him."
Elena thought about telling him that it was not true, that he didn't mean that much to her, but what would be the point? Jamie had seen her reaction, so he probably wouldn't believe her anyway. It hurt her deeply to see him like that, she wanted to make him feel better, but she didn't know how to, so she just nodded.
"I didn't want to talk you into it, I swear," Jamie continued.
He was starting to blame himself, she realized. She had to tell him that it wasn't his fault, that she didn't blame him.
"You didn't. I wanted this." She cupped his cheek. "I want this," she added, switching to present tense.
"I can't let you do this to yourself anymore. I just can't. I have seen you completely broken five years ago, and I promised myself that I would never let this happen to you again. I know that you're trying to do this for me, but please, just stop. All I want is for you to be happy. Seeing you like that, it kills me Elena."
Jamie crossed the room, grabbing his car keys.
"Where are you going?" Elena followed him to the door, but he was already on the stairs.
"I need to go somewhere."
Twenty minutes later, Jamie had reached his destination. He waited for a few seconds before Damon opened the door for him.
"We need to talk."
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