Chapter 7: Stupid, stupid Jacob.
Jacob POV.
I tried to keep the Jacob and Leah relationship like it was in the book, I enjoyed all of the fighting, if you listening to the song Revenge is sweeter then you ever where by the veronicas it was my inspiration for the last few parts of the chapter where Jacob's talking to Renesmee. Anyways, I hope you Enjoy.
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I had left house in a haze of anger, I couldn't believe that my dad said that, and that Renesmee heard it. Stupid, stupid, me I should have told her a long time ago but Bella and I agreed that it was better if she didn't know. That what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her and it was probably the best decision at the time, but... not it seemed like the stupidest decision we had ever made. I should have told her, damn it. I kicked the side of the garage sending a big loud bang throughout the woods. Bella was my first love, but I couldn't compare her to Renesmee, Renesmee had the most angelic features, and when she smiled the whole world stopped and it was just us. I never wanted her to leave, and I hated this feeling the feeling that I hurt her and betrayed her trust. It was horrible; if I couldn't have her I wanted to die there was no other way I could go on, I hated the idea of her with someone else. I couldn't handle it, she was mine and I was going to do whatever I could to get her back. I figured since she didn't want to talk to me I'd take a walk in the woods as a good way to clear my thoughts.
All relationships took work, I knew that I had seen it firsthand Bella and Edward perfect example, they definitely had some challenges, and then I was added in the mix. I never thought I would give up on Bella, and then when I saw Renesmee and her beautiful face, I knew that I was going to do anything to make her happy; no matter what it was she wanted. It was such a hard thing to explain. The moment I saw her hazel eyes, I knew she was one day going to be the one for me. It wasn't romantic love at first, it was just providing for her, giving her what she needed to survive. When she slowly began grow up those needs changed, and I became her best friend. Than once she grew up, and became the girl she is now I couldn't imagine a guy on the face of the plant that wouldn't fall in love with her. It had started to rain, but I didn't care, I guessed I'd be out here all day until I got the nerve to go see Renesmee and try to speak to her and see if she understood. I must have been out here for a good 35 or 40 minutes I had almost calmed down enough to come up with some explanation, to tell Renesmee.
"Jacob! Wait up." God, it was Leah. I was so NOT in the mood for her antics.
"Leah! Not now." I began walking faster hoping that she'd vanish and leave me alone. She wasn't somebody that I got along with good, actually that was an understatement I'd do anything to get away from her right now.
"I knew you and vampire girl wouldn't make it." She sounded like she was trying to hide some sort of laughter.
"LEAH! She isn't just a vampire, she's the love of my life so shut it." Damn why did she have to be a girl for? I wanted to hit her, but I couldn't.
"Jake, stop walking." We stopped a few feet from the house, just passed the bushes and a few trees. I don't why I stopped; maybe I was hoping she would apologize. Ha-ha, that was a long shot.
"I'm sorry Jake." Wow, she actually looked sorry. She was a better liar then I thought she was.
"Sure, Sure, Leah." I turned around in an attempt to walk away, but she grabbed my arm and stopped me.
"Why do you love her?" Her arms were placed on her hips, and she wasn't asking the question, more like demanding an answer.
"Why do you care?" I didn't feel bad for being mean, not to Leah.
"Just answer me Jacob, It shouldn't be that hard."
"I love her because she's the most amazing person I have ever seen in my entire life. I love the way she's says my name and the look on her face when she's confused, she's the entire reason why I'm alive right now. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be here right now." I didn't know why I felt the reason to explain myself to her, she didn't need to hear the reason why I felt the way I did. Renesmee was the love of my life and I was going to love her as long as I lived, maybe even longer than that.
"Jacob, do you honestly think this can work? She's a vampire she lives with vampires; you're not suppose to love her you're suppose to have the urge to destroy her." I had never heard Leah say such hateful things about anybody, let alone someone I loved, someone I had devoted the last 6 years of my life too. Always being around her, and making sure she was happy. If she was happy being far away from me right now I was going to do that and when she wanted to see me again, I would be there faster than you could the word vampire.
"Leah, what do you know about love? I'm not just talking about the boyfriend girlfriend type of love either. I'm talking about the love when you care about someone, and all that matters to you is that they're happy and as long as their happy you're happy." I had my arms crossed against my chest, I huffed deeply I may have been there arguing with Leah but my thoughts were elsewhere.
"I know that seeing you hurting so bad hurts me." I could hear Leah talking, but I didn't know what she was trying to get at it would be so much easier if girls weren't cryptic speakers.
"What are you talking about Leah?" Like I cared.
"I well Jake this is really hard for me to say" She croaked, it actually did sound like it was hard for her to say.
"You know I won't care anyway." And I probably wouldn't unless she said she had three months to live which was highly unlikely.
"I love you Jacob. Those few weeks when we were protecting the Cullen's in the woods I saw you in a different light. I began to care about you in ways I never thought I would I mean you were Jacob" I looked at her in complete and utter disbelief, she was insane. Why of all the times did she have to tell me this now? I was a joke; she was trying to make this the most horrible day of my life.
"I still am Jacob, Leah. I'm the guy who imprinted on the half vampire half human girl. I love her." I didn't want to hurt her feelings; if she was actually... what she said she was I couldn't even think the words.
"You said it yourself you can fall in love like a normal person. " She was using my own words against me. I hated that.
"Leah, just stop please. Even if I could love someone else I wouldn't want too." My words had a tone, about them as if to say don't push this any further, but she was Leah and I could guarantee that she was going to.
"What is she doesn't want to see you again?" The words cut me, I couldn't stand the thought of her not wanting to see me again, was completely unbearable. A life without Renesmee wasn't much of a life at all.
"She just needs some time." And I hoped that was all she needed.
"Jacob." Leah put her hand on my face, what in the world was she doing, I pulled back. Nobody touched my face, except for Renesmee, and I had gotten used to the cold feeling of hand on my skin, it was one of the best sensations ever.
The woods and darken significantly since I had first left the house, it was later in the day and the woods was darker caused by the shade of the trees, I squinted as I tried to see what Leah was doing. I felt her lips against mine, a light kiss that quickly took a turn for the worst. I could hear someone behind us and as I turned around, there stood the love of my life who looked like she just seen a ghost. GOD, I hate Leah. Turned around as quickly and as fast as I possibly could, and I ran after her. I knew I would eventually catch up to her, but I knew when I did she wasn't going to hear me. I could say whatever I wanted to try and convince her that Leah and kissed me, but I knew it wasn't going to easy.
It felt like we were running for an eternity, finally when we finally hit the river, I knew that it was no or never. "Renesmee, listen it's not what you think." I continued to speak, she was standing there. Even if she wasn't listening. "Renesmee, Leah told me she loved me. And I was in the woods to cool off, to get my mind straight before I came to talk you about the Bella thing. I – I don't know what I can say Renesmee." I stopped talking, we stood there for about a half an hour, she was soaking wet, and all I wanted to do was take her in my arms and hold her and tell her I loved her more than anything. There was no emotion showing on her face, no sign to know what she was thinking, or how she was feeling, she wasn't even moving.
"Jacob I don't want to see you again." Her words felt like a million knifes stabbing my heart a million times. I fucked up, and I fucked up bad. Before I had the chance to stop her, she was. Even if I phased it wouldn't make a different I would have to go around the water and by the time that I got there, she probably wouldn't be there. I had no idea what I was going to do I knew I wasn't go to without trying again I had to try again, I couldn't stand the thought of her not being around.
I need her, I want her, I can't live without her. It felt like every moment that the two of us spent together since she had been born flashed through my head, I didn't if I could live without her, and even if I could it wasn't going to be much of a life without being able to share it with her. I was soaking wet, the sun had completely set, I fell to the ground and put my head in my hands trying to collect my thoughts thinking of a way to get her back in my arms where she belonged.
