Goku smiled at his wife repeatedly. Raditz was annoyed at his husband and just wanted to stab him in the neck. For the next hour, Jeice was knocked out, Burter was going through Recoome's pockets, and Goku was staring into his wife's face.
"Will you just back off?" Raditz stood up. "I'm already mad at you and I don't feel like talking."
"But why?" he pouted.
"Oh geez…I don't know…MAYBE BECAUSE YOU'RE GLAD I GOT RAPED!" growled Raditz.
"Oh baby…I'm so sorry!" Goku smiled again. "How about I make you REALLY happy?"
Raditz's eyes widened. "You don't mean…"
"Oh yes I do…" Goku lifted up his hands and pulled up Raditz's shirt.
"Kakarrot don't you dare!" Raditz tried to wiggle away.
"It's too late!" Goku said in a sing-song voice coming closer.
"If you touch me I swear I'll…" before Raditz could respond, Goku jumped on top of him and began to tickle him. "No! No! Stop…HAHAHAHAHA! Stop it! Stop…hahahaha…it…ahahahaha!"
"Heheh! I told you I'd made you happy!" Goku began to tickle Raditz even harder.
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Stop hahahaha it hahahahaha!" Raditz suddenly bit Goku.
"Ouch! You bit me!" Goku whimpered holding his bitten arm.
"I told you to stop…" Raditz said getting up and rubbing his tummy.
"Are the babies okay?" Krillin asked as he was leaning on Gohan.
"Shut up Krillin." Goku said glaring at the bald monk.
"Why are you so concerned for them anyway?"
"Bulma would kill us if she knew your children died!"
"Good point." pointed out Raditz sighing.
"We'd better get you back before Bulma tries to come find us."
"Fine…and DON'T YOU EVEN TRY KAKARROT!" Raditz glared at his brother as he was preparing to do a tickle attack.
"Okay…"
"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!?" it was Captain Ginyu. "Burter, what is going on h…GET OUT OF RECOOME'S CLOTHES! YOU MIGHT CATCH AIDS!"
"When did you get here?" Burter said as he ate a cheeseburger out of Recoome's pocket.
"Never mind that! Where's Jeice and…uh…what was his name again?"
"Are you talking about Guldo?"
"Oh yeah! Where's fatso?"
"Well Jeice is over there." Burter pointed to Jeice, who was awaking up from his coma. "And Guldo got his head cut off…not that anyone cares."
"Damn it Jeice! How many times told you not to sleep on the job?" Ginyu demanded.
"Uh…at least twice?" Jeice said scratching the back of his head.
"AT LEAST A THOUSAND TIMES!" Ginyu palm faced. "Can't you do anything right? I specifically asked you all to kill them and you dunces mess up! Do I have to do everything myself?"
"Probably…"
"Shut up Burter!"
Ginyu decided to attack Goku (duh) and pretty soon the two warriors started fighting. After a while, Ginyu thought of the most genius idea in the history of genius ideas. He would distract Goku with something and change bodies! But what could he use as a distraction? Then he saw Raditz sleeping with his head in Krillin's lap and Goku didn't seem to notice. Perfect. After confusing Goku with the old "hurt yourself to almost death" trick.
"Hey Goku! Look who's trying to pull a fast one!" Ginyu pointed to Krillin.
"What the fuck!?" Goku yelled angry insults to Krillin (who didn't seem to hear or see him since he was too busy touching Raditz silky hair) while Captain Ginyu retardly yelled "Change now!"
Before you could say "Master Roshi is a bald bastard!" Goku and Ginyu switched bodies. Goku felt like his body was on fire when he was in Ginyu's body. He gasped. What the heck was he doing in Captain Ginyu's body? Ginyu as Goku smirked at the confused warrior.
"Looks like my little plan worked…heheh…"
"You…you…you bastard! How DARE you steal my body! I want my body back you jerk!"
"No."
"Okay…" Goku pouted. "But I have one more request…"
"What?"
"I'm gonna kill Burter because he looks like a snake!"
Saying these words, Goku beat the crap out of Burter and left him to die a slow and painful death. Ginyu was a bit surprise at this action, but decided to let it pass on. He couldn't really do anything for Burter now. He wanted to enjoy the awesomeness of his new body.
"Come on Jeice! We've got a password to find!" Ginyu and Jeice flew into the distance leaving Goku to stay there and bleed. How would he explain this to Raditz? How COULD he explain it to Raditz? Going away forever seemed like a good idea if it were with Chichi. He just couldn't do it to Raditz. He needed to support his children and make them fighters, unlike Gohan who was a complete disappointment.
'Sooner or later, I'll have to meet my fate…' Goku flew over to Raditz, Krillin, and Gohan. "'Sup guys!"
"What are you doing here?" Krillin and Gohan got into fighting position.
"Guys it's me! Goku!"
"Yeah and I'm Sasuke!" Krillin said sarcastically.
"I thought you were Krillin!"
"Don't play stupid with us Ginyu!" Gohan said. "I think I know who my dad is!"
"Raditz, you know who I am right?" Goku made puppy eyes at his lover, hoping that it would cause Raditz to see into them and fall in love with him. But alas, puppy eyes on Ginyu did not look good and it caused Raditz to go into labor.
"Get away from me you freak!" he pushed Goku off of him as he cried in pain. It hurt a lot and he hoped in wouldn't have to give birth on the spot. "Ugh…"
"Oh my god!" Gohan gripped his uncle's hand as he twitched in pain. "Don't worry! We'll get you back to Bulma…Krillin give me a hand!"
Krillin did as he was told and propped up on him while Gohan did his best to comfort him. Goku was both scared and sad. What would happen if Raditz didn't make it? What if he never got out of his body back and was stuck in this old smelly one? Goku knew he couldn't let that happen to his wife and himself. He flew off to Bulma's dad's ship to get the senzu beans.
Meanwhile Krillin and Gohan had gotten about halfway (about 10 miles) from the cave when they ran into Jeice and Ginyu (in Goku's body).
"Oh hey it's Goku!" Krillin looked at Raditz's sweating face. "See Raditz? Goku's here! Now he can help you get back to Bulma!"
'Oh dear god! What did they feed her? A pig?!' thought Ginyu looking in horror.
'She looks so heavenly like that!' Jeice thought trying not to look love-struck.
"Uuuuuuuuuuugh!" Raditz responded. "It...hurts…"
"Dad, thank god you're here! We need to get Raditz back to Bulma so she can help!"
"He's not your dad!" Goku had shown up.
"Not you again!" Krillin palm faced. "Why don't you just save us the trouble and just go…"
"I can't let Raditz be claimed by someone else!" Goku got into fighting position. "I'll fight anyone who dares claims what's mine!"
"No way are we letting you have Uncle Raditz!" Gohan declared while Krillin agreed.
The three got into a huge(ish) fight and ended up beating the crap of Goku because he was in Ginyu's body. Goku knew it was no use to fight them in his body, so he did the one thing that he knew would draw attention to the fact that he WAS Son Goku (or Goku Son). He managed to knock down Krillin and Gohan at the same time and ran over to Ginyu. Using an uppercut attack, he managed to damage Ginyu while taking out Jeice slightly for some reason. Then the prince himself showed up and saw the scene unfold in front of him, but ignored it. Raditz was in pain and nobody was paying any attention to him.
"Raditz, are you okay?" Vegeta said in a voice that made you wondered if it were an angel's and not a short angry saiyan yelling at you.
"No…" Raditz said breathlessly. "I think…I'm going…into…labor…"
"SH…SH…I'm here…" he patted his ex-lover's hand.
"Is he going to make it?" asked Gohan worried.
"If we don't get this thing out of her…" Vegeta said nothing else.
"But he's having QUINTEPLETS!"
"Really?" Vegeta looked at Gohan, hoping it was just a joke. Gohan sadly shook his head. "Well go get someone! We don't have much time from the looks of it…"
"But what about dad?"
Vegeta sighed. "I'll deal with Ginyu and Kakarrot. Baldy, come here!" Krillin came over. "Watch Raditz and keep her calm. Keep her AWAY from Ginyu. Got it?"
"Yeah. I've got it."
Vegeta nodded and came into the fight. Goku frowned. 'Vegeta just wants Raditz for himself! I'll show him!' Goku did his best to fight off Vegeta, but thanks to Ginyu and Jeice helping (in a way), he was losing bad.
'Hm…that Vegeta is really stronger than I remember him…I'll just take his body instead!' Ginyu did his "body change" attack, but was stopped by Goku throwing himself in front of his attack.
"I'm back in my body!" Goku did a little happy dance.
"Fuck! Well at least I have another body to take over…" Ginyu once more did his body change.
"Hey look! A froggy!" Goku thought up a brilliant plan. "Hey Vegeta! Catch this!" Goku threw up the small frog. Unfortunately (or fortunately), the frog never made it to Vegeta, but it DID make it to Ginyu, changing him to a frog.
"DAMN IT!" Goku kicked Jeice in the face.
"OW! WHAT THE FUCK!?"
"Shut up bitch!" Goku blasted Jeice to ashes.
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Raditz cried out.
"Holy crap! Raditz!" Goku got down beside his wife. "How are you?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Raditz gestured to his stomach.
"She's in labor you bastard!" Vegeta growled at Goku.
"AAAAAAAHHHHHH!" He continued.
"Okay okay! I'm here!" Bulma had her medicine kit and a lot of blankets and other shit.
'Oh fuck is that fish?' Vegeta and Goku thought, thinking at the same time.
"Is he alright?" Bulma asked looking at Raditz's stomach.
"AAAAAAAAAH…WHAT DO YOU THINK? AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"
Before anyone could see the miracle of birth, Frieza popped up in his final form.
"HOW THE FUCK DID THIS HAPPENED? THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE! ISN'T THERE SUPPOSE TO BE A SCENE WHERE KRILLIN AND GOHAN HAVE THE BALLS AND…" suddenly Vegeta was zapped by Frieza.
"About time someone shut that stupid monkey up." Frieza sighed.
"Um…are we gonna fight now?" Goku offered.
"Oh yeah sure…but first I'd like to tell you a little secret."
"Oooooh! A secret! What is it? What is it?"
"I killed Krillin…"
"YOU BASTARD!" yelled Goku turned unto a super saiyan.
"What…the…fuck…"
"Dad we're back! We even wished back Pic-"
"TO HELL WITH PICCOLO!" Goku's eyes were as bright as the sun.
Everyone just stared at Goku. After Goku gave them the look they scurried away like little ants after you spray water on something they're eating. After three hours of fighting, so far Frieza and Goku had managed to wreck to planet (no surprise) and trying to bit each other.
"You know what you little monkey?"
"What?"
"This planet will blow in five minutes." Frieza smirked.
"N-no! That's impossible! NO WAY THAT'S EVEN POSSIBLE! THIS PLANET ISN'T EVEN GONNA BLOW UP IN FIVE MINUTES! FROM THE LOOKS OF IT, IT'S NOT EVEN POSSIBLE! ACCORDING TO LOGIC, THAT'S NOT EVEN POSSIBLE! IT'LL TAKE AT LEAST FIVE TO SIX HOURS TILL THIS THING BLOWS UP!"
"Fuck you. I know how to tell time monkey."
"I'm gonna fuck your face in!"
"Bring it on then bitch!"
Frieza and Goku then fought for another five to six hours. The fight ended up with the planet blowing up and whatever the hell happened at the end of the end of the Frieza saga. But I shall tell you what happened on New Namek and what happened with Raditz, Gohan, Piccolo, and Bulma.
"Gohan we have to get out of here!" Bulma was wavering her arms franticly.
"We know that Bulma!" Gohan snapped.
"AAAAAAAAAAAH!" Raditz continued to scream.
"We'd better get out fast!" Piccolo pointed to the window.
"HOLY SHIT!" Raditz fainted.
"We're gonna die!" Bulma started to cry. "I'm too pretty to die!"
"I was gonna be a big brother!" Gohan whimpered.
Suddenly they all popped up on a beautiful planet that smelled like cookies, but not the raisin kind. Those are just GROSS. Bulma and Gohan praised the lord and kissed the non-burning ground. Dende, meanwhile, was healing Piccolo.
"Ugh…I feel like crap…" Piccolo looked down at Dende. "'Sup."
"Hey Nail."
"I'll nail you…" Piccolo growled.
'Hey watch your mouth! That's my brother you idiot!' Nail sighed.
"Is Raditz doing okay?" Gohan sat beside his uncle.
"I don't know…are you okay Raditz?" Bulma smiled at Raditz.
"Yeah…they stopped kicking so much." Raditz sighed tiredly.
"Well don't worry. Dad is on his way."
"Really?" Gohan looked at her.
"Yep! And there he is!"
Sure enough, Dr. Briefs was in his huge ass spaceship arriving on New Namek. How did he come to Namek in that speed of time like Goku, but with a huge ship that moved as fast as a turtle on the back of a snail, we'll never know. Bulma, Piccolo, Gohan, and Raditz went into the ship and waved goodbye to the rest of the Namekian people.
"Do you wanna come with us Dende?" Gohan asked.
"Eh." Dende was eating a banana.
'Heheh…he's eating a banana!' Gohan thought pervertedly (Not a word? I don't really care).
"You're welcome to come back and wish on our balls anytime." said Dende's dad.
"Heheh…okay! We are will!" everyone laughed.
When they arrived, Raditz was worried about Goku for some reason. It wasn't that he loved him. It was that he needed some comfort doing labor and it was also the fact that he liked his since of humor. Bulma patted his hand while he was in the hospital bed.
"Don't worry Raditz. I'm pretty sure Goku will be here to see your children being born." Bulma kissed his hand. Raditz sighed and turned away from her.
"I'm not so sure about that."
"Who was that?" Bulma looked around.
"It's me. King Kai."
"What do you want?" Raditz sighed.
"Oh hi Sonic! I haven't seen ya in a while!"
"Just say what you have to say and let's get this over with." Raditz sighed once more.
"Fine. Goku isn't coming back."
"What! Why?" everyone said in unison, except Raditz.
"Oh wait…he waits to talk to Raditz."
"Heeeey Sooooniiiiiic!" Goku giggled.
"Ugh…what do you want?"
"I just wanna be there to see our children being born!"
"But you're not even here…" said Chichi crossing her arms.
"Um…Chichi…who let you near my wife?"
"I'm just as much your wife as he is!" Chichi snapped.
"Whatever you tool. Anyways, how about you get to steppin' cuz I don't want my kids to be surrounded by a skank."
"Listen here now Goku! I've agreed to take in Raditz and his children since we both share the same husband."
"Really?" everyone looked at Chichi.
She nodded. "I may be a 'no whores or incest' allowed kind of woman, but I will take care of children because it's not their fault they were born to idiots."
"Well…thanks…I guess…" Goku wasn't sure what to say next.
"Are you coming back?" asked Master Roshi.
"No."
"GOKU YOU JERK! YOU NO GOOD WELFARE BUM OF A HILLBILLY! FUCK YOUR IRRESPONSIBLE ASS! I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL!"
"Like I said before…I really don't care…I'll check back in later…"
5 hours later, Raditz gave birth to three baby boys and two baby girls. The one that was supposed to be dead was actually alive. For some reason, the baby's heartbeat was not able to be heard. Weird.
"Oh my goodness! They're so beautiful!" cooed Bulma holding Pan (just imagine Pan from DBGT as a baby).
"I didn't think children could be so cute!" Chichi was holding her neice Kai in her arms (Chichi and Bulma helped name them).
"Hm." Raditz was holding Takamori and Takashi in his arms, while Lunch (yeah I brought her back) was holding Akira.
"Can I hold her mom?" Gohan reached out for his little sister. Chichi nodded and gave Gohan Kai.
Indeed this was a happy day…at least…for now…
Because I know that people just LOVE descriptions of babies, I will describe all of them in order. Takamori had long black hair like Raditz and looked like his father, Goku, Takashi looked like Bardock, Kai looked like Bulla except with black hair and black eyes, and Pan looked like Pan as you can tell by her name.
That is the end of the Frieza saga. Sorry that's it was so short. I've only watched some parts of the saga, so it was crappy in the story line. Coming soon is the Android Saga, but first the History of Trunks! So my viewers will not be confused, the History of Trunks and the Cell Saga will be included inside the Android Saga since I consider it all to be tied in together. By the way, when I do the Buu saga (which comes after the Cell saga), I will NOT watch the "Saiyaman saga" because I don't think I would like to spend my time watching it, but I will do my own "Saiyaman saga". Remember, review!
