Chapter 7

AN-HA! Bet you weren't expecting another chapter so early eh? Well you are owned! HA HA HA HA! I HAVE NEVER MET YOU BEFORE AND YOU PROBABLY WEREN'T EVEN THINKING THAT BUT EITHER WAY SCREW YOU! HA HA HA! Ahem. With the crazy out of my system, let us return to the crazy in Luffy's system.

Disclaimer: Some famous scientist discovered a while ago that your body is constantly producing and destroying new cells, thus some of your cells come from famous people. So in one way, I DO own One Piece!

Nami persuaded us to all move onto her boat. We left the piece of shit we called a boat behind us and prepared for the next island. I knew it would be the Kuro arc but they didn't.

Nami was complaining about something or another. Seriously, all she does is moan and bitch about stuff. This is why I don't want a girlfriend. I refuse to do what every other bloody OC does in Fanfics. I WILL NOT TRY TO SHAG NAMI! HELL... I DON'T EVEN THINK I KNOW HOW TO SHAG! I never received the "Birds and the bees" lecture due to my social incompetence and what not.

Anyway, Nami was explaining why we were nowhere near ready to go to the Grand Line. I just nodded my head and focused on my phone while planning future Demon Summons and what not.

My little fight before gained me a hell of a lot of EXP. I was now a level 17 and things were grand.

My stats now read:

Strength- 8

Magic- 11

Vitality- 8

Agility- 6

Yep, pretty nice range of stats for beginning this whole adventure. At the rate things are going I may end up as a level 40ish by the time the whole Alabasta arc is even finished. Hell, with the right demons and abilities I could even fight an Admiral... Yep. Blasphemy. Casual OC saying he can fight an Admiral. NOOOOO! AN OC CAN ONLY PLAY A SUPPORT ROLE! Those of you out there who think this can suck my balls. That's tight, screw the rules! I'm in a coma!

I needed a Demon my level so I could fight Kuro to a standstill later. I checked the auction and saw I could buy a few new Demons.

I bought two Toubyou's (Reason will become apparent later)

Toubyou's were basically a jar with a bunch of electric spitting snakes hidden inside. Yep. Electric spitting snakes in a jar fit them well.

I used the first one and fused it with a shop bought Agathion to create... (Drum roll) …... WAIRA!

I could practically hear crickets chirping. Admittedly Waira was not much but he was the best I could do. (Waira was a brown demon with a cows body and hooked claws to walk with. He has a race skill called Devil Speed. With that I can dash around like a five year old drinking seven litres of red bull, force dance helped too)

I also decided to ask Nick how he actually fights. The few times I paid attention and it seemed like he just awkwardly tried to smash things with a few too many Sword.

His reply was "Look man. I use so many weapons because its unfair for me to use only one of the weapons I create. My style is Infinite Weapon Style. I adapt my fighting style depending on the weapons I have with me."

"Basically you wing it."

"HELL YEAH!"

We sailed for a few more days. The sea remained as wavy and blue as ever and I can honestly say I was sick of it. Too hot as well. I was only still wearing my Hoodie through pure pride. (Nick picked it up while we were leaving the last island)

We finally reached land. Everyone got off the ship.

"Its been a while since I've been on land." said Zoro as he stretched his arms.

Luffy looked around excitingly. "Ah, so the village is further down that way?"

"Although its just a small village..." Said Nami is response. I started walking. Luffy running there was inevitable. May as well have a head start.

"Oooooh. In that case... MEAT! MEAT! MEAT, MEAT, MEAT! There should be some food in the village right?" Yelled Luffy as he grabbed Nami and started to salivate. Yep. I can see why the fan girls LOOOOVE him.

Nami pushed him off and scowled. "Can you not think about eating all the time?"

"Nope." I said. Still walking off. "While our brains our located in our heads and are protected by our Skulls... his can be found in his stomach, its only protection... his plain stupidity."

Zoro yawned, then unsheathed one of his swords slightly.

"Careful!... Someone's here."

We stood in silence for a moment.

"No shit eh? How long did it take you to sense them?"
"SHUT UP SHITTY SUMMONER!"

"Where? Where?" said Luffy as he looked in random directions for our intruders.

"WATCH OUT!" Shouted Zoro.

"EEEHHH!" Shouted Luffy as he danced from foot to foot while being pelted with shots. I sighed, face palmed and took my phone out.

A bunch of random pirate flags popped up from the shrubbery around us.

"Wow. This... is... AWESOME!"

"This isn't the time to be in awe." Stated Nami, being drowned out by the excess noise Luffy was creating.

"HA HA HA HA!"

I looked up. Their on the cliff, in all of his cowardly glory... STOOD THE GREAT CAPTAIN USOPP!

….

….

….

Who the hell an I kidding? He sucks.

"I am the great leader of the great pirate crew that conquered this village... USOPP!"

His hair blew in the wind and he attempted to look epic. He failed. A lot.

"EVERYONE PRAISES ME AND ADRESSES ME AS CAPTAIN USOPP!"

"Others however address you as a wanker." I stated simply.

"NO ONE DISRESPECTS THE GREAT CAPTAIN USOPP!"
"Shut up! Luffy, you deal with this. I can't be bothered."

I continued walking towards the village.

"OYE! DON'T JUST LEAVE US!" Shouted Nami.

"See you later. Meet you in the largest restaurant in the village. God knows I need to get stuck in there before Luffy does."

"HEY! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOUR GOING?" yelled Usopp.

"Simple. This village. Dinner. Now. After all, who's going to stop me. I repeat. I... AM... HUNGRY! Do your fake 80 million men speech to the captain. He is actually stupid enough to believe you."
"HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?"

"Simple. I'm amazing. I know everything."

"WOW! INCREDIBLE!" Shouted Luffy, going into super excited mode.

"I rest my case." I stated epically and walked off, leaving the others to do the bull crap beginning of this arc. I will meet up with them later and go to the mansion for one reason. I have LOADS of bad cat puns to use on that damn Kuro. LOADS! I refuse to not say them. This is my coma, I shall do what I like!

Anyway, I wandered into Usopp's tranquil village and had a little look around. Nice small houses. Casual country atmosphere. Peaceful music in the background. Yep all was right in the world.

"I NEED TO GO PEE PEE!" Yelled Nick, thoroughly ruining my peaceful walk. I fell to the floor in depression. It appeared he decided to follow me.

"SERIOUSLY! I REALLY NEED THE LOO! I HAVE NOT GONE IN DAYS!"

"Couldn't you piss off the side of the ship?"

"NO WAY MAN! GROSS!"
"Go behind a bush."

"GROSS!"
"Oh man up!"

"CRAP! SEE YA LATER!" He dashed in the general direction of that large mansion. I shrugged and left him to it.

I found a nice restaurant pretty soon after. A large sign read "Meshi" and the smell of meat wafted up from inside. Yep. Luffy would show up here for sure.

I went inside, reserved a large table by the window, ordered a large sandwich and some fruit juice and waited for the morons to show up.

Ten minutes later I heard the inevitable call of "MEAT!"

Luckily I had persuaded the chef to start cooking early.

"MEAT! MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!" Luffy dashed through the door and practically leaped onto the seat I left for him.

"MEAT! MEAT! MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!"

"SHUT UP ABOUT THE BLOODY MEAT!"
"BUT I LIKE MEAT!"
"SO?"
"MMMMMEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAATTTTT!"

I face palmed. "Dinner will be here in five minutes. Get Nami to pay. I am sure as hell not."

Two minutes later in came Zoro and the others.

"Ayup." I told Zoro.

"Eh?"

"Ayup."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"basically hi."

"All right then." he stood awkwardly for a moment. I sighed and moved up a seat.

"Sit down why don't you? The chef will bring something for you in a moment."

Dinner was certainly... Well... Interesting. Luffy spent half the time trying to nick my sandwich. I set fire to him slightly with a Agi each time he did. He never learnt his lesson, the lesson being that I love my sandwiches! LOL! I got a real buzz out of seeing Usopp shit himself every time I set fire to Luffy!

Zoro chose to have some booze, Nami chose something more sensible for lunch and Luffy had …... Well what do you know? Meat!
He was on his fifth leg when he began his story on Shanks and Yusopp.

"I met him when I was young." He muttered still chewing.

"My father was on Shanks ship!" Said Usopp excitingly.

"Mmmmm. You look just like your father. *Chew Chew* When I first saw you I thought you were his son."

"Really? I never thought that my dad would be on such a great ship!" asked Usopp. Poor lad. He was probably desperate for any info on his dad, after all, he is all he has got left. Didn't his Mum die or something?

"I don't know what his situation is now, but he's probably still with him." Stated Luffy as he took another bite. Seriously, he needs to learn some table manners. Even me, as socially awkward as I am, still has more manners at the table than he does.

Luffy started on the apples and I was now certain that Oda somehow transferred all of Africa's food to Lufy, how else could he remain well fed unless he starved at least an entire continent. Yep. I am now certain that Monkey D Luffy caused world starvation, Hell! He probably wiped out the frigging Dinosaurs as well!

"Your fathers marksmanship is truly elite." Continued Luffy.

As Luffy continued the crappy tale my interest gradually waned. In the end I just stuck my headphones on for the rest of the meal.

"I'll be on my way then!" alerted me that the conversation was over. I caught a glimpse of Usopp running to see his girlfriend. LOL! See what I did there? Yeah? Yeah? Okay, I know. Not funny.

"THE USOPP PIRATE CREW IS HERE!" Yelled the trio of little kids Usopp hangs around with. Looks like those lot were here.

"What's going on?" Nami asked.

"Fucking midgets." I answered, finishing my drink.

"The captains not here." One of the kids said.

"Don't tell me..." Said the second.

The third ran up to our table and yelled "HEY, YOU PIRATES! What have you done with captain Usopp?"

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" Yelled them all as the other two caught up. I inwardly smirked at the joke Zoro was about to do.

"EEEHHH! That was some good meat." Said Luffy as he tapped his belly.

"EEHH! Meat!?" One said.

"Don't tell me the captain was..."

Nami started laughing.

"Wh... What have you done?"

"Your captain was... Eaten!" Answered Zoro with an evil grin on his face.

"Oh yeah." I put an evil expression on too. "He was damn nice, even if he was a bit chewy."

"AAAAHHHH! ONIBABA!" Yelled the three children as their eyes popped out comically and stared at Nami.

"WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME?"

The three children fell to the floor is fright.

"ITS ALL BECAUSE YOU GUYS WERE BEING STUPID!"

We all continued to laugh. Yep. My people skills have taken leaps and bounds.

After we actually explained what happened the three midgets, (Whom I have named Minion One, Minion Two and Minion Three) became a lot more useful. They told us about Kaya's mansion and how Usopp would normally be there. They offered to lead us there.

I shrugged.

"Anyway, where is Nick? I haven't seen him." Asked Nami.

"Relax, eh? He is fine! He went off somewhere to find a good pissing spot."
"Well he hasn't returned."
"So? He's like a stray dog, he always shows up sometime."

We arrived at a large steel fence. Behind it stood a large and beautiful manor house. The entity of it was polished and clean, the place gave an aura of wealth.
"It's HUGE!" Shouted Luffy in exclamation.

"If you can't find the captain around this time, he's probably there."
So then," I said rubbing my hands. "How are we breaking in? Do we go through the fence, dig under it or just climb it. Either way is fine with me."
"EEHHH!" Shouted Nami.

"Quiet Nami. Screaming usually makes it harder for someone to try and break in to a private house."
"Who says we are breaking in eh?" replied Nami.

"Simple, we are travelling with Luffy of all people. If something stupid can happen, it usually happens to him.

"Why is Usopp here?" Asked Nami after a while.

Minion One proceeded to tell the tale. It was relatively heartfelt and mushy.

"GOOD! Then lets go in an ask her for a ship!" yelled Luffy.

"The one that cheered her up was Usopp." Said Zoro.

"So? Luffy is so damn stubborn that he will make her give him a ship, no matter how long the moron takes."

The others discussed how to get in. I did a countdown.

"One...Two... Three!" Then pointed to the fence.

Luffy was climbing up.

"Lets go in and have a look!"

"HA! TOLD YOU WE WERE GONNA BREAK IN!"

"SHUT UP NATH!"

I stopped paying attention until Luffy grabbed me and the others and did something so thick he could compete for the multi universes greatest most stupid thing ever!

"GOMU GOMU NO SORRY TO INTRUDE!"

He stretched his body like a slingshot and prepared to randomly fire us into the air. Just before lift off, I scowled at him and said "I hate you SSSOOOOOOO much right now."
WWOOOOOOSSSHHH!

XXXXXXXXXX

We were in the air! Really I the air. I mean, I was in a coma and all but I could still swear that I could see my house from up here! Everyone was screaming, including me. I did the only thing I could do.

SSCCHHHH!

I summoned Gagyson and practically squealed "SAVE ME! I WANT TO LIVE!"

He grabbed me and casually started to descend.

"YOU BASTARD!" The others yelled.
"SEE YA SUCKERS! I'M GONNA LIVE!"

We all descended quickly and plummeted into various uncomfortable landing spaces.

Luffy made a crack in the concrete, Zoro dug a crater in the path. Nami scraped along the grass while Gagyson crashed into a tree before dispelling. I then fell off said tree and hit every damn branch!

SMACK!

"OWWW!"

CRACK!

SMASH!

"WWHYYYYY?"

CRRASHMACK!

"DAMN!"

STRIKE!
"WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BRANCHES?"

CRACK!

And then I was on the floor, somehow still alive.

"Ar... are you all right?" yelled Kaya from the window.

"FINE! Just peachy! Fell three stories before crashing into a bloody tree! Thanks for asking but I think I will feel better once I beat up the moron!"

I got us, fell down, crawled to Luffy then proceeded to take out my anger on his face.

"WHY WEAKY? WHY?" I did this for a few minutes. "HEY! IT DOESN'T HURT"
I then decided to Zio his ass!
"WHY WEAKY? WHY?!"

"Its okay, they heard how great I was and decided to join the Usopp pirates!"

"That's not it." Luffy said as he got up. I gave him one last kick and let him go.

"We have a favour to ask you."

"A favour? For me?"

"Yeah! We want a large ship!"

"YOU THERE!" Yelled a voice to the side. I began to grin. A man in the black uniform of a butler walked up to us and continued to yell. "What are you doing here?"

Yep. Definitely that Kuro bastard. I have been looking forward to this AAALLLL DAY!

"Kurahadol." muttered Kaya from her window.

"*Cough Cough* Kuro *Cough!*" I quickly said.

His eyes widened "What!"

"Nothing, what's up with you? Cat's got your tongue?" I began to burst into hysterics.

"You are all trespassing!"

"HEY NATH MAN!" Shouted a familiar voice. Nick appeared from around the corner.

"I MADE A FRIEND!"

"NO NICK! BAD NICK! BUTLER... BAD! BUTLER... BAD!" I smacked him round the head.

"So kitty boy, where did you find this PURR-fect moron?"

"I found him urinating on mistress Kaya's prize tulips."

I face palmed... again. GOD! I face palm too often now.

"I should have guessed."

"Take him and leave! I repeat, you are all trespassing!" Kuro did that stupid wrist pushing glasses thing.

"Shut it Fur Ball! That thing you just did... A pirate used to do it not so long ago."

"If you do not stop and vacate the premises then I will make you!"

"Quiet Kitty! You need to sharpen your claws a bit more before you are ready to deal with me!"

"WHAT IS WITH ALL THE CAT PUNS!" Yelled Nick.

"BAD NICK! I am still angry about those bloody tulips! I told you to find a bush! Not some frigging flowers on a private estate!"

"Who is this guy?" Asked Luffy thickly.

"Excuse them Kurahadol, these people are..." said Kaya quickly.

"You don't need to tell me now. I will listen to your explanation later!" he started to walk off. "For now Id like all of you to leave this area at once!" He glanced back. "Or do you people have something to say?"

"Yeah, we'd like a ship see..."

"Definitely not!"

"You suck! You suck like a cat swimming!" I said, starting to run out of cheesy puns to say.

"Usopp! I hear rumours about you all the time!"

Usopp climbed back onto the tree.

"You're pretty famous in the village, aren't you?"

"Yeah, he is. Then again you're so famous you deserve your own wanted poster."
"ENOUGH! If you have something to say, then say it!"

"I would rather not, you would scratch me with your claws see,"

"YOU MAY ADRESS ME AS CAPTAIN USOPP!"
"Or a wanker."

"NOT HELPING NATH!" He yelled back.

"Captain eh?"

"AAHHHH! He wants to be just like you."

Ignoring me, Kuro continued. "I've heard stories about your father."

"What!"

"KURAHADOL! Cease this at once!"

"You are just the son of a low class pirate! So would you all stop pestering my young mistress!"

"You called my father a low class?"

"You come from a completely different world to the young Mistress! Do you want money?"

"THATS ENOUGH KURAHADOL!" shouted Kaya. AHHHH! Young love eh? Usopp and Kaya sitting in a tree... K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

"APOLOGISE TO USOPP AT ONCE!"
"Kaya that's dangerous."

"Why should I apologise to such a barbaric man?" called out Kuro. Damn cat did that glasses pushing thing of his. DAMN! This guy just ticks me off!

"I am only telling the truth. I do sympathise with you. You must be filled with hatred, hatred for your idiotic father who abandoned you and your mother to look for some treasure as a pirate!"

OOOHHH! Bit harsh really. That is practically this worlds equivalent of a "Your momma!" Joke. Can't wait to kick his ass! Screw Luffy! I'll beat the crap out of him!

"KURAHADOL!"

"YOU BASTARD! You'd better stop insulting my father!"

Usopp was pissed. He was gripping the branch so tightly his knuckles turned white. He leapt off the

tree and used his rope attached to a claw to lower himself down.

"Why are you so agitated?"

"Maybe because you are totally KIT-ing him." Two cymbals and drum fell off a cliff randomly in some part of the world.

"Its times like these that you should just do what you do best; lie. Just say you have nothing to do with your father or he isn't your real birth father or someth..."

"SHUT UP!" With sudden speed Usopp dashed forwards and punched Kuro in the face. He fell to the floor.

"HA! I thought cats always landed on there feet!"

"NOT THE TIME!" My crew yelled.

"Captain!" Yelled the minions.

"See that. He immediately turned violent!" said Kuro attempting to defend what he just said.
"No wonder they say like father like son!"

"SHUT UP! I'm proud that my father is a pirate! Being a brave warrior of the sea, I am very proud of him! Although its true I am a plain old liar, but a pirated blood flows through my veins! THAT KIND OF HONOUR IS NOT SOMETHING THAT CAN BE SIMPLY INTIMIDATED! FOR I'M THE SOM OF A PIRATE!

"Pirates are warriors of the sea eh? You're pretty naïve to have that ideology." Kuro got up.

"WHAT!"

"But this does prove that barbaric blood flows in your veins! You like to lie and resort to violence whenever something upsets you!" Kuro brushed dirt off his butlers uniform.

"Your ULTIMATE object is to get close to the mistress and acquire her wealth!"

This bull crap was pissing me off! I have never really liked Usopp's character but I think I hate Kuro enough to take the wusses side this one time.

"ENOUGH! You hypocrite! SNIPE!" I dashed forward and smashed Kuro's face with a satisfying CRUNCH!

"WITH WHAT YOU PLAN TO DO, SAYING THAT IS PURE HYPOCRICY! Many years ago there was a pirate named Kuro who ruled the Black Cat Pirates! He was ruthless to both his crew and his enemies! He longed to escape the life of a pirate so faked his own death and let another die in his place! I don't know what you are doing here but I can only guess what you are going to do to Kaya! Either way I name you a liar! A crook! A fool! A betrayer! A PIRATE! I NAME YOU CAPTAIN KURO... OF THE BLACK CAT PIRATES!"

AN- WOOOOOOOOHHHH! That's right! I did just do that! Who saw that coming? No one? Hell! Even I didn't plan this! Finally Nath will actually CHANGE the events of One Piece! I will live up to the summary of this story! Instead of having Nath fight some random demons I decided to instead have Nath and the others fight the Black Cat Pirates under different circumstances! Demons will still show up, just not in the actual battle.

Anyway, I am planning on doing a third OC falls into XXX story. (I currently have an epic Bleach one and a cool One Piece one) I have been unable to decide on which anime or manga to choose so I have put up a Poll. Please answer it!

Next update may take a while. Instead of just rushing to the next story arc I will now need to plan out how this one will change. I am also going to update my Bleach story next.

Please rate and review (all messages have been extremely useful) and until next time... Undying Soul out!