Chapter 7
Bella
She didn't miss her mom. Renee can get deep into her nerves sometimes, and when they fought that time…her mom really got in.
She looked around the living room, wanting to turn on the television. She's still a kid, and kids liked watching cartoons.
"Do you want to go out, Bella?"
Bella turned around to see Esme, smiling at her. She liked Esme. It was obvious that she loved her family, and it seemed that she was very fond of Bella, too. She would have preferred a mother like her.
"But where?" Bella asked, her face slowly lighting up.
"Wherever you wish so," Esme replied, her smile wider. "We can go to the mall and shop, if you want."
Bella laughed. "I'm not much into shopping."
Esme's eyes lit with amusement. "Oh, what a shame. Do you know that Alice adores shopping? She's got a ton of clothes she won't even have the chance to wear!"
"Why not? Surely she wears them."
"Oh, Alice does." Esme wagged a finger at Bella. "But…she doesn't change too often."
Bella's face puckered. "That's too bad. If I were her, I would have changed outfits five times a day."
Esme laughed shyly. She sat next to Bella on the sofa. "Maybe she'll let you take some of her clothes and shoes. Let's ask her sometime."
"But those won't fit me. I'm too young," Bella argued, her eyebrows drawn together. "And I'm sure she needs them more than I do. As I told you, I'm not a clothing lover."
"Thank the gods for that," a voice interrupted from the doorway to the kitchen.
Bella's eyes shifted to Edward, who was standing there, watching. "Edward," she said.
"I was afraid you'll ask me to take you shopping right after you wake up," Edward said, smiling unevenly.
Bella looked down. She wasn't sure if she should talk. Her voice might catch in her throat.
"I was just telling her the same thing," Esme chimed in. She looked at Edward with a teasing smile. "I'm pretty sure you heard that?"
Edward burst into a fit of laughter. "Why, why…"
"Can we go out?" Bella suddenly said, her voice breaking the comedic atmosphere.
Edward walked quickly and stopped directly in front of her. "Where to?"
"There's a garden here, isn't there? How about that?"
Edward smiled and reached out a hand. "Of course." He looked at Esme, who was secretly chiding herself with such romantic things. "Can I take her, Esme?"
Esme abruptly stood. "Why not. You be back after an hour, I'm just going to prepare a meal for the young one." She touched Bella's cheek but quickly dropped her hand. She looked doubtful. But then she smiled and headed towards the kitchen.
Bella followed Esme with her eyes. When she had touched her, Bella felt the extreme coldness of her hand. It was as if Esme had stuck her hand in the freezer for three hours.
"Ready to go?" Edward asked, looking at her face.
"Definitely."
The garden was wonderful, but what amazed Bella the most was Edward himself. He seemed so mature, so terrific. Her memories will always carry this day. She won't forget it.
"What is love to you?" Edward had asked suddenly while they were walking around, looking at butterflies and marigolds.
Bella blushed. "I don't really know much of that."
Edward laughed, and the sound interrupted the shrill air. "Of course. But that's why I'm asking. I was wondering what young girls like you think about love."
Bella didn't answer. She was embarrassed.
"Will you please just share some of your ideas to me?" Edward asked, not looking at her. He was looking straight ahead.
Bella took in a deep breath. Then she started saying, "Love. It's a powerful word, too powerful, even. When I hear people say they're 'in love', I always wonder how that feels. I don't really know what that is. But to me…it is what you feel when you meet someone you truly care for, someone you're concerned with. It's what you feel when you realize that you miss someone or when you realize that you get jealous when someone's near your 'beloved'…" Bella laughed awkwardly, looking down. "I don't know. But that's what it is to me. I also hear some say that they're 'infatuated with someone', and that just makes my understanding of the matter worse." She looked at Edward. "Do you know what I mean?"
Edward smiled at her. "Human emotions are very complex. They can differ as time passes by. The brain processes chemicals that affect how the person thinks, therefore making him assume that he is feeling something for another person. But usually, it's just the hormones that are toying with his mind."
"I know what that is," Bella said, defensive. She crossed her arms. "But I don't believe that it's just the brain that works on it. I believe that it's also the heart."
"The heart is merely an organ, Bella."
"How can you say that?" Bella said, glancing briefly at Edward.
"The heart is an organ of the circulatory system. It pumps blood. That's what it does," Edward replied, his voice serious.
Bella almost stopped walking. She can't believe that Edward thought of love that way. He thinks that it's just the brain that gives those silly chemicals that people interpret as special "emotions". She was sure it wasn't like that. But she can't argue with Science, too.
"Bella, I'm saying this to you so that you'll know how to act someday…when you think you're falling in love already," Edward said, who managed to soften his voice.
She shook her head. "That's just crazy. I'm too young to think of that."
"But it will happen. You can't run away from it."
"Why?" Bella asked, her tone relishing annoyance. "How can you say that? Have you fallen in love yourself?"
Her question sounded like a challenge, but it sounded as if she was trying to make him confess something.
Edward was silent.
"Have you?" Bella pushed. They had stopped walking.
Edward looked to his right, as if staring at something Bella couldn't see. "I'm not sure," he finally said. He clenched his jaw. "Sometimes I think I have. But with the circumstances present, I don't know. Most of the time I chastise myself for thinking that I could fall in love. Most of the time I pretend I'm just a statue with no feelings, no emotions whatsoever…But when I see this girl…it's as if she's meant to be with me. And that's just weird because I don't really know her. And she doesn't really know me, too."
It was Bella's turn to fall silent.
Edward continued, "The first time I met her, it was as if I was staring at my own reflection. Only it was a girl, and it's more fragile, unlike me. The first time she talked to me, I felt as if the world stopped spinning. At first I thought it was because I could bring much danger to her, but then I realized it was more than that." He stopped talking then looked at Bella with a smug smile. "Perhaps you don't get what I mean, but I just need to spill this out. Do you mind?"
"Not at all," Bella said almost instantly.
"There's just this…she…she makes me feel something I wasn't used to feeling. And it's been a very short time, and yet…here I am. Completely insane about what I am feeling. It's the first time I felt this way. It's uncomfortable and astonishing at the same time."
Bella nodded, as if she understood. Somehow, she had the urge to tell him that-as young as she was-she felt the same things for him. Although she still wasn't sure about it, there was a part of her that said she was falling in love for this stranger.
But…Edward didn't feel like a stranger to her at all.
She looked at him with burning intensity. She realized that she envied this girl he was talking about.
"Who's this girl?" She asked, intrigued.
Edward gaped at her. "I…maybe you shouldn't know."
"It's not like I know her or anything, right?"
Edward shook his head. "It's just that…"
"What?" Bella said. She clenched her fists. "Please tell me who she is."
"It's not really wise."
Bella spoke up, "After everything you've told me, you think it is not wise?! You have made me curious about what love is…about how it feels…about what it can possibly bring to me…I'm pretty sure you know what I mean." She stopped. She didn't know what to say. She was just irritated. That's how she felt. She's irritated with everything, everyone.
"What do you want to know?" Edward asked, his voice rising.
"Everything, hell. I want to know everything behind what you just said, Edward. I might be young, but I do understand what you have been telling me."
Edward looked at her as if seeing her for the first time. "Bella…"
"Just tell me!" Bella said, her voice not quite hiding her annoyance and anger. Anger for what? For who? Hell, she didn't know.
Edward was quiet. His eyes were hard, unmoving. After a moment of hesitation, he said, "I think I'm in love with you."
