Chapter 7: Goodbyes
When I woke up, the events of the previous night all caught up to me at once. Oh my goodness…how had all of that happened? I shifted in Jason's arms, but he didn't wake up. I glanced over at the other bed; Aphrodite had already left, probably to let Jason and me to talk things over in private. I had a feeling we had Imprinted, and it terrified me. If…no, not if-when Professor Nolan found out, she'd be so upset with me; I didn't want to face her.
Jason stirred, and opened his eyes. He seemed disoriented, seeming unsure of where he was. Then he saw me, and his mind seemed to clear.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
I nodded. "I'm fine, are you okay? You seemed to be in pretty bad shape last night."
He grinned. "I'm fine."
I took a deep breath. Better to get this out of the way now. "Jason, you know that we've probably-"
"I know," he said quietly.
"I could get in big trouble for it," I said. "We can't…" I trailed off, unsure of what to say.
"We can't what?" he asked, tightening his hold on me. "I'm not going to lose you over this, Jessica."
"You might not have a choice."
"Don't say that," he practically growled. "I'm not letting go of you."
'Jason, this could be dangerous. This is completely new territory for me, and Professor Nolan warned me about this," I said. "I don't know what's going to happen. I think it would be better if we were to just stay away from each other, to try and break this thing."
"I don't want to stay away from you," he whispered. "Come on, Jess, this isn't just the potential Imprint talking, how long have we been together? How long have we known each other? Has anything ever stopped us? A couple vamps aren't going to stop us from being together, I won't let that happen."
I wanted to tell him that everything would be okay, but I couldn't promise him that. How could I? I had no idea what I'd have to face tonight. What would Prof. Nolan say when she saw me, and obviously knew that we had Imprinted? I was so nervous. A knock on the door made me jump out of bed. I was sure it was Prof. Nolan, and it made my hands shake.
I slowly went to the door and opened it to see Prof. Nolan standing there. She didn't look angry, but she did look serious. Does she know? Oh God, she knows. There's no way she doesn't know.
"So, we obviously need to talk about some things, can I come in, Jessica?" she asked. Nervousness washed over me. She's going to talk about the Imprint, that's why she's here.
"Of course," I said, trying to keep the nervousness out of my voice and moving out of her way. Jason had sat up in the bed by this point and Prof. Nolan sat on Aphrodite's be.
"We need to talk about what happened last night, and what you're going to tell your mother happened," she said the last part looking at Jason. I moved to my bed and perched myself on the edge of the bed, away from Jason. Prof. Nolan folded her hands in her lap and directed me, "Jessica, tell me how you found him."
"Well, Aphrodite and I went to the old depot following what yo-" the look on her face told me not to mention her participation in this. Were we being listened in on? Could Neferet hear what we were saying? "-following what I thought would be the right way to go. I figured the old depot would be the best place because it's secluded, and close enough to the House of Night that any human kidnapper could be confident in the fact that vampyres would be blamed for this. Once we got into the old depot, we went down into the basement where there was a bunch of tunnels leading into these…I guess rooms. I just let my feet guide me, I didn't really pay attention to where I was going, and then I found him."
"Did you see anyone other than Jason when you were down there?" she asked.
I nodded, so she'd know that I had, but said, "No, I didn't." If we were being listened in on, I wanted her to know that yes, we had seen someone down there, but I wasn't sure if I could say who…er…what it had been.
She nodded, understanding my message. "Okay, well Jessica, under normal circumstances you would be punished for leaving without permission, but because this could basically clear any suspect toward us, you're fine. Jason, we need to come up with a story for your parents."
We came up with a story that a woman had abducted Jason. He had never gotten a good look at her face, but he could tell she had been a woman. She had taken him to the basement of the centre for performing arts; Prof. Nolan didn't want to draw any suspicion towards the basement of the Old Depot; by her saying that, it confirmed my suspicions that she had her own suspicions about what was going on down there, and she figured it'd be easier to figure out on her own, without police aid. I idly wondered what Prof. Nolan knew about it. If it was something that she couldn't speak to us about, then it had to do with Neferet. Or…she knew about our Imprint, and wanted to keep that from Neferet as well
I watched Prof. Nolan's face carefully as she spoke to Jason. She definitely knew something. Her features were very carefully composed, and she was watching her words carefully. She stayed in the room with us while Jason called his mom. She wanted to make sure his mom believed him. I couldn't hear her end of the conversation, but from what Jason was saying, I could tell she bought it. Prof. Nolan looked pleased; I knew her hearing was good enough to hear what his mom was saying.
When he was finished the call, Prof. Nolan excused herself, telling Jason that he could have breakfast here, but he couldn't stay too long. She also gave us both a warning look, and then we were alone again.
"We'll be okay," Jason assured me quietly.
I cocked an eyebrow at him. "How can you promise me that?"
"Your mentor was fine with it," he said. At my look he went on to say, "C'mon Jess, it was like you two were mentally talking to each other. She obviously knows."
I bit my lip and looked away. Prof. Nolan did seem to know more than she was letting on, but I had assumed it was about what was going on with Neferet. I didn't think it had to do with anything happening between Jason and me, but now that he mentioned it…
No. Prof. Nolan couldn't know. How would she have found out? It had just happened last night. I barely even knew if it had actually happened. Unless she had heard us talking about it from outside the door…that was pretty likely, but still…
I pushed the thought of my mind as I grabbed my jacket and put my shoes on and led Jason to the common room to get some breakfast. I could feel all the girls' eyes on us as we made our way into the kitchen. I did my best to ignore them but it was hard. I could tell that Jason was uncomfortable as well, so after he had grabbed something to eat I led him outside the dorm and we sat together on the steps leading inside.
We were quiet as he bit into his apple. I'm sure we both knew that this would be the last time we'd see each other for a long time.
"Do you want to go for walk?" I asked finally.
"Sure," he said. I stood up and put my jacket on and he entwined his fingers with mine. We ended up at the east wall, under the big tree. I looked around us. It was silent. There was no one around.
I took a deep breath. "Jason, we need to talk about this."
He ran a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath as well. "I know we do."
"If Professor Nolan knows about it, I can assure you that she isn't happy about it. She was probably just pretending to be for your sake."
"What are you trying to say?" he asked.
"Jason, I…I think you should stay away from here for a bit. I think it'd be better for both of us. Maybe…maybe the Imprint can break or something," I said. At the look of pure sadness on his face, I continued. "It's not that I don't want to be connected to you like that, it's just that it's against the rules, and I don't want to get in trouble for it."
"Are you breaking up with me?"
"No…yes…I…I don't know," I said. "Just…I think it'd be better if you stayed away from here for a bit. I want to be with you, but I can't…at least not while I'm a fledging."
He sighed. "Okay. I understand. If you…if you want to try and break the Imprint, we will. I know why you want to, and I don't blame you. But, I still want to see you. Not all the time, but this isn't going to be it for us, Jess, I won't let that happen."
I smiled at him, trying to hold back the tears. "I love you, you know that?"
He chuckled. "The feeling is mutual."
"I guess you have to go," I said sadly. "I'd drive you home, but I think I should just chill here today, considering I've barely been here since I got here."
"My mom's picking me up at Utica Square," he said. "It doesn't take long to walk there."
"Oh, okay," I said. I was a little disappointed. One small part of me had wanted to drive him home.
He came towards me and cupped my face in his hand. "This isn't goodbye."
I knew it was. After this I was going to break all contact with him…he just couldn't know that. "I know it isn't, but it feels like it is."
He kissed me and then broke away from me all too soon. I felt tears sting at my eyes, but I tried not to let it show.
"Bye Jason," I said, hearing my voice crack slightly.
"I'll see you soon, okay?" he said.
"Okay," I said, plastering a smile onto my face and hating myself for it. I walked him out to the parking lot, where he kissed me once more and then walked away from me. When he was gone, I went back to the east wall and sat under the tree, holding my head in my hands. I didn't know what to do.
Well, I knew what I had to do, but that didn't mean that I wanted to do it very much. I had to break contact with Jason. It was the best thing for me to do. We needed to break this Imprint, regardless of how much Jason didn't want it broken.
I felt eyes on me to see Professor Blake looking at me.
"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you," he said.
"Don't worry," I said quietly.
"Is everything okay?" he asked.
I nodded. "Fine. What are you doing out here?"
"I like to come out here to write poetry. It's a very…inspirational place. I find it calming out here," he explained. "Maybe you do too, that's why you're out here."
"I had never been out here before today," I said.
"Then I guess you were just drawn to it…just as I was."
I felt heat spread in my cheeks. Professor Blake was absolutely gorgeous.
"I don't want to intrude on your poetry, I should head back to my dorm," I said.
"Nonsense!" he said. "You don't need to leave, if anything, I was intruding on you. I should be the one to leave, not you."
"You don't have to leave," I said. "You weren't interrupting anything; I'm fine with just sitting here."
His face split into a smile. "I'm glad."
We were both quiet. I tried to think about my situation with Jason, but I found it hard to concentrate with Loren around. A while later, he offered to walk me back to my dorm; I agreed and we walked in silence together. I'll admit that it was super weird walking with him, but surprisingly it wasn't awkward. We arrived back at the dorm and he turned to meet my gaze.
"I hope that you feel better about whatever it was that was bothering you, Jessica," he said, smiling warmly at me.
"Thank you, Professor Blake," I said.
"If you ever want to talk about it, I'm always available. I know some of the other vampyres here can be quite…intimidating."
Yeah, like he's not intimidating at all. I thought sarcastically, but I politely said, "Thank you, sir." And tried not to pay attention to how gorgeous he was.
He grasped my forearm in the traditional way of greeting for vampyres, but he planted a soft kiss against my wrist.
"Until next time, Miss. Armstrong."
