A/N: Next chapter already. I hope this makes up for the long absence.
Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. I only have fifty bucks on me.
EBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBE
Persuasion Part 2: The Cullens
Edward's POV
"I'm sorry, Bella. But I can't."
The words felt like acid in my mouth, and I felt even worse at the way Bella looked at me. Her shocked gaze never left mine, though her eyes filled up with tears. Disappointment and rejection washed over her features. I have never felt more like a monster than I do at this moment.
"Bella," I pleaded, bringing both my hands to the sides of her face and wiping away the tears that had fallen onto her cheeks with my thumb. "It's not that I don't want to," I explained. "More than anything, I would love to give you our own child. But I can't, Bella. What you dreamt of…It's impossible. It's not even in me, literally speaking."
She looked at me, confused, though her sobs didn't subside. "When we changed, the fluids in our body automatically change into venom. Venom doesn't help create children, Bella," I reminded her gently.
She closed her eyes, hoping that I wouldn't see the pain in them, I suppose. But she shouldn't have bothered. I didn't need to see those beautiful chocolate brown eyes to see how hurt she was. I could feel it, tearing at me inside.
"But Alice…" Her voice quivered, and she paused, taking in a deep breath. "Alice saw," again she was unable to say it clearly, unable to finish her sentence.
I paused. That hadn't made sense to me at all. I was going to have to talk to Alice and Carlisle. But it was still impossible, it was still not going to happen. Oh, my Bella. What have I done to you?
"I don't know about that, Bella," I whispered. "All I know are the facts. Please…Don't be upset. Don't be mad at me. I'm so sorry," I cradled her against me, hoping beyond hope that her heartache would be soothed.
Slowly, her sobs faded. "I'm not mad at you, Edward," I heard her small voice. "I hadn't even really thought of it. Then Alice said…She said it could happen," my grip around her tightened. "I guess the thought of having a child with you, Edward…I just wanted it. I wanted to give you that. I know you're upset about not being able to, and I know how you see yourself. If you had our child in your arms, maybe you would see just how wonderful you really are."
I pulled back and smiled at her. "You really are beautiful, my Bella," I touched her nose with the tip of my finger. She broke out into a watery grin. "I love you. And we'll talk about this some more if you want, tomorrow. But right now, you're exhausted. Sleep, love, alright?"
She didn't put up a fight with me like always. She had burst into tears twice in the course of half an hour. I stroked her hair gently, and hummed her lullaby, and soon she was already drifting off to sleep.
I watched her sleep, in my arms. Truly, I would love nothing more than to spend the rest of eternity this way.
When…Things happened, that night of her birthday party, I thought the best thing to do would be to leave her. She would be upset, but she would move on. I hadn't counted on her love for me being as strong as my love for her. I hadn't thought it was possible for a fragile human heart to feel that much emotions.
I had made that mistake once, and I would never do it again.
Right here, was my proof. She had wanted this, not just for herself, but for me. She wanted me to see the good that I could bring into this world. She had wanted me to see myself the way she saw me. I could never understand that. She saw me as her protector, as a flawless creature. As someone who would never do wrong by her.
I had yet to live up to her expectations, but I would. I never wanted to let her down.
But she wanted it for herself, too. Not that I could blame her. She had dreamt of becoming a mother. And Alice had practically told her it would be a reality. Alice had told her that she would be the mother to my child.
How could this happen? How could I…I couldn't give her this. What if she started to resent me for that?
I had cursed her, I had placed my love for her out there in the open. I had brought her into my world.
Could I leave now?
No, I couldn't. It would break us both. I wouldn't survive a day. Bella wouldn't either. We were too far gone from the point of no return.
So what do I do? I couldn't face her, I couldn't see the disappointment she held in her eyes every time she saw me.
Her breathing had become even, her eyes shut tight, her body relaxed. She was completely, deeply asleep. I extricated myself from her gently and made sure she was comfortable and tucked in, warm enough.
I had to talk to Alice and Carlisle. Right now.
EBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBE
I ran all the way back to the house, seeing as how my Volvo was in the garage. The moment I stepped into the house, I felt a wave of calmness washing over me. I looked around the living room to find my entire family sitting on the couch, waiting for me. Emmett was watching the TV. I shot Jasper a dirty look and he shrugged, unabashed.
"Before you begin, mind the coffee table, Edward. I really like it," Esme warned.
I stared at her, confused, then realized that Alice must have seen the outcome of my temper tantrum. I ignored my mother's comment and started to pace. "How could you tell her that, Alice?" I growled, stopping to glare at her.
Jasper growled in the back of his throat at my direct accusation of his wife, but I just stared menacingly at him. But Jasper was a military man before he became a vampire. He didn't intimidate.
"Boys!" Esme warned, as Jasper rose to a crouching position and I mimicked him.
"Jazz, sit," Alice said sharply, and after a moment, he did as she asked. She turned to me. "Come on, Edward, what I see always happens-"
"That's not true," I reminded her.
But she was too stubborn to sway. "Only when you change your mind. Bella hasn't changed her mind. You're the only one standing in the way of her dream coming true," she told me matter-of-factly.
I rolled my eyes at her. "Are you dense, Alice?" I shouted. "I'm a vampire, for God's sake! I can't get her pregnant!"
"A little louder, Edward, I don't think Virginia heard you," Emmett teased. I scowled at him, but he refused to stop grinning stupidly.
Carlisle sighed at this, and stood up, coming over to place a hand on my shoulder. I shrugged it off and begun to pace again. "I realize that, Edward," he said dryly. "But it's never happened between a vampire male and a human girl," he reminded me.
"It's never happened between vampires and humans, period," Alice corrected.
"You and Bella are quite the unusual pair," Carlisle continued. I snorted. That was an understatement. She was an angel, a beautiful, innocent, seraphic being. While I, on the other hand, was a monster. I killed, I hunted, I murdered. I drank blood to sustain.
Carlisle continued as though I hadn't made a sound. "We believe it could happen, Edward. We believe, because she is still human, she could still carry a child," he informed me, his tone gentle, the way it always was whenever he was breaking a news to a certain patient at the hospital.
I shook my head, defiant. Rosalie sighed, impatient. Good God, Edward, get over it, accept it, and do it already! I glanced at her for a second, surprised. Why would Rosalie have any interest in this? That was out of my mind before I even finished thinking it.
"Venom," I spat out. "It's all venom in me."
"That's not true," Emmett sang out in a 'I-know-something-you-don't' voice. "When we-"
Carlisle cut him off with a glare, and Rosalie smacked him at the back of his head. His grin didn't falter. "What Emmett was going to say, and I say this in the most respectful way possible, is that what male vampires…Produce…During intercourse isn't venom. That is one human trait we keep."
I stared at him, as my mind begun to wander. Could I really? Could I give Bella what she so desperately wanted? Could I give her a child? I wondered what our child would look like. Pale skin like mine? Chocolate eyes like Bella's?
Then I shook myself out of my stupor. What was I thinking?
"And what do you propose, exactly? That I give it a try, and if it happens, we just raise a human child in the midst of vampires?" I shot back. This was all getting to be too much for me, and I went to sit on the couch, head in my hands.
"She would be changed. She has to, after the Volturi. And she wants to…It would take time for her to be able to handle something as fragile as a human baby. Are you suggesting that I ask her to carry my child for me, then take it away from her the moment she's changed? Are you asking me to take away her last months as a human? Are you asking me to give her bitter memories instead of good ones?"
"What are you talking about, Edward?" Jasper asked, mystified.
"Charlie! And Renee! And school!" I exploded. "Would Bella want that? To go through all that trouble? And after they know about their grandchild, do you think it would be so easy to leave? Just pack up and disappear? And Bella. Would she even want-"
Alice came over to sit next to me, and before I could even read it in her mind, she had raised her hand and slapped me across the face. I stared at her, shocked.
"Will you snap out of it?" she snarled. I had never seen her this furious, or heard her this angry. "Why would Bella even ask you for it if she doesn't want it? Why would she dream of it if she didn't want it?"
"Yeah, man, you're making everything so melodramatic," Emmett said, eyes never leaving the screen in front of him. I rolled his eyes as I realized he was watching Saturday Night Live.
I felt Esme's comforting presence, and her soothing hug a moment later. "Edward, dear. Please just think about it. You're looking at things the wrong way," she told me. She came around from behind the couch to sit next to me. I gripped her hand tightly in mine. "You're giving Bella the gift of motherhood before you give her the gift of eternity," she told me gently. "She wants it, Edward. And I know you want it, too. Think about it, and tell her."
I took a deep, shaky breath. The sun was almost up. Bella would be waking up soon. "I have to go back. Bella's waking up," I muttered, not meeting any of their eyes. I stood up, but Esme gave my hand one more reassuring squeeze before she let go.
Without another word, I stepped out of the house, and broke into a run. I was back in Bella's room, under the covers, my arms around her waist, in less than five minutes. The sun rose steadily, but for me, it was too fast. I wanted to see her dark eyes looking back at me, but I wanted more time with her, too.
Soon, Edward. You'll have eternity with her, I reminded myself.
I watched her seraphic face sleeping, her body curling unconsciously into me as soon as she felt my presence.
Did I want to have a child with Bella? Did I want to see a baby, something so flawless and innocent, made by the both of us, in her arms? Did I want that baby in my arms? Yes, I did. I want it all. If Bella wanted it, then so did I.
But there was so many obstacles. First, no matter what Carlisle and Alice said, I still had my doubts. I didn't know if it were true or not.
Then there was the matter of her parents-whom, I'm guessing, won't take the news of her pregnancy happily. They would be upset and disappointed. Angry, even. I didn't want to put Bella in such pain. I didn't want to cause a rift in her family, especially since I would be taking that away from her in less than a year, right after graduation.
And school? Would she really want to go around school pregnant? It wouldn't be easy, and humans can be very cruel with their words. I didn't want her to suffer through that as well.
Had she considered all these? Would she still want a child with me, right at this moment, if she considered this?
I felt her start to stir, and her eyes fluttered open. They met mine, and a smile instantly lit up her face. "Edward…" Bella whispered, one of her hands reaching up to touch my face. I smiled at her. How beautiful she was. I'd been gone for a few hours only, but it felt like forever. I didn't like being apart from her.
I leaned forward and gently pressed my cold lips on her warm ones. I could feel my body warming up to hers instantly. Her fragile human arms wrapped themselves around my neck and she wriggled closer to me.
Slowly, I broke the kiss. Bella moaned her protest, and cuddled up to me, her lips pressed to my neck, her head resting on my shoulder. I stroked her hair, reveling in this perfect moment.
But we had a lot to discuss.
So I sighed, and took a deep breath.
"Bella, we have to talk."
What do you think? I wrote this in under an hour, so it's very short. It was necessary, nonetheless, for Edward to go ranting to the Cullens. I know it wasn't in the series considering it was Bella's POV throughout, but I always imagined he would go to his family for anything, and this is BIG.
So, read and review, and tell me what you think, okay??
Thank you!!!
