"So, what do you think's going on?"
"Don't know. It's too early to say yet."
"It could be..."
"I was thinking the same thing..."
'I can hear you guys talking about me...' I listen to the conversation between JJ, Emily, Morgan, and Garcia (respectively) on the way back home on the jet. I have to grit my teeth to not say anything, and pretend to be asleep. I think Spencer is asleep, so I don't want to move. I feel self conscious leaning on him, and vulnerable. Like someone could do anything they wanted to. But the aroma that surrounded me gave me comfort. It was a mix of coffee and dark chocolate, but only a slight hint of whatever cologne Spencer was wearing.
As of now, I really don't care if they're talking about us, because nothing is going on between us. Nor do I want anything to go on. It would only complicate things. And by "things" I mean life. Guys are just something I have pretty much avoided all of my life, and the one time I let my walls down that surround my heart, my heart was captured and broken. Those walls were built up again, stronger this time. I swore to myself that no one would penetrate them ever again. So the whole dating and realationships thing - not my thing.
"Do you think she would've told us if something was going on?" It's Garcia (through her webcam).
"Probably not. Spence wouldn't have either." JJ speaks next.
'And you wonder why we wouldn't tell you...' I roll my eyes behind my closed eyelids.
"I'll find out from Shay."
'That's what you think, Derek.' I can't smile; it would give me away.
"Find out about what?" Rossi's voice pops into the conversation.
"Look." The other four voices chime in together.
"Oh- don't want to be involved. Talk about it yourselves." I can picture in my mind Rossi trying to escape the whole situation. I try not to laugh; I'm supposed to be asleep. He holds his hands up, coffee in one, papers in the other, and shakes his head as he walks away, thinking 'Kids...'
"Guys, we land in ten minutes." Hotch is the last one to speak up. He stays out of the conversation. I think he knows what it's about. He would never want to get involved in someone else's romantic life, especially mine since I'm only nineteen. After what happened to Haley... I don't think he'll ever love anyone but his son as much as he did her.
I can feel Spencer move slightly, shifting positions. It causes me to lean on him even more, our sides touching now. It is a more comfortable position, but then that makes it more uncomfortable - in a different sense. The sense that, because he's a guy and I'm a girl, this is considered an intimate position.
His shoulder jerks up suddenly. I hear him gasp, and I can't help but laugh a little. I try keeping it in, but let out a giggle accidentally.
"Thought you were asleep." Morgan says in a smug tone. I open my eyes, knowing my ruse has been given away. I can see his smug grin to match.
"I was. Until I was about to sneeze." I give all three a look (Garcia has logged off because she knows better).
"Sneeze?" Morgan raises an eyebrow at me.
"Yeah." I realize that my head is still on Spencer's shoulder. I sit up immediately and can feel my cheeks burning furiously. "It's a Japanese thing, that if someone's talking about you somewhere, you'll sneeze."
JJ and Emily smile while Morgan laughs aloud.
"It's the girl version of Reid." Emily makes the group laugh harder.
I purse my lips, trying to be serious. "Excuse me?" As I say this, I can feel Spencer stare at me. I try to ignore it.
They all walk away, shaking their heads and laughing. I never get an answer.
I roll my eyes. 'They're such kids. I guess you never grow out of high school...'
I peek up at Spencer through my bangs, but he's looking the other way at... Well, I don't know what he's looking at. There's nothing interesting in the direction he's looking. I even looked myself. I decide not to bother him, so I figure I better get ready and look semi-presentable for when we land in about five minutes.
I wander back to where the life supply of the team - coffee - is made and slide the curtain in front of me. I rummage around for my bag that I keep secretly in the cupboard under the counter and pull out a spare pair of blue jeans with countless numbers of tears in them. They're my favorite pair because I've had them the longest, and they're the most comfortable pair of jeans I've ever worn.
I change into my favorite pair of jeans and slip my oversized, short-sleeved shirt over my head before grabbing a neon tight-fitting tanktop out. I feel around in the bag until I feel the stiff texture of my black leather jacket. This, big surprise, is my favorite jacket. But, only because it basically goes with my whole wardrobe. It actually isn't that comfortable.
I flick the curtain behind me as I walk out of the small kitchen area with my bag on my shoulder.
"Got a date or something?" Morgan jokes as I take a seat in front of him. The seat is cold, so I cross my legs, avoiding the bottom of my legs from coming in contact with the cold leather.
All I offer is a blank stare. "No."
"Why not?" He says, flashing his white teeth with his charming smile. After working with him for a while, I can see why he's known around the BAU for always having a girl on his arm. But I have to wonder if he's ever had a serious relationship.
What a strange question. "I gave up on boys after ninth grade."
"You mean when high school started?" His smile fades, but it is still slightly there.
"Yeah," I scoff. "dumbest thing ever thought of."
I get a confused look in response. I guess he had a better time in high school than I did.
"There was one guy who was pretty much bipolar with his feelings, so I decided that it was better to stay away from guys from then on. And look where I ended up." I motion around me, and it's my turn to smile.
"I get it, I get it. But you've been out of high school for a year already. Why no boyfriend yet?" He moves forward in his seat, arms folded and resting on the small table in front of us.
"College?" I don't really know why myself. I guess I hadn't met anyone. Or wanted to meet anyone.
"That's an even better reason to have one. There's more of a variety." He laughs. I just shrug and look out the window at what I guess you could call the D.C. skyline.
"You make it sound like grocery shopping." I laugh a little.
"What if I set you up on a date?"
The question is sudden and takes me aback. "What?" My head snaps back to Morgan, who is now smiling almost evilly.
"A date. You do know what that is, right?"
"Of course I do. I've been on one before, too." I stick my tongue out like a child.
He bellows a laugh. "Alright. I'll get back to you; I know some people."
Before I can respond, a voice over the intercom interrupts our conversation. "We're landing now. Seatbelts, guys."
Both Morgan and I snap our seatbelts in place, and five other "click"'s can be heard at almost the same moment.
Soon enough, we're all climbing down a small flight of stairs onto the runway , beginning our trek back to the office. When we arrive, all the lights are off, and the only other person inhabiting it is the cleaning man. He tips his ball cap when we come in, and everyone nods in response.
In a few mintues, Hotch has gone home to Jack, Morgan leaves in a hurry probably to a girl, JJ walks out while talking to Will, Emily gets back to her apartment with her cat, and Rossi has retreated to his office. I sit on "my" desk, swinging my legs back and forth, watching the streaks of my black and white Converse disappear and appear again and again.
"Not going home?" The voice startles me, and I jump, but it's only Spencer.
"Oh. Um, no... Not sure if I can yet." The smile I give isn't very convincing.
"Um," He clears his throat. "Why aren't you sure?"
I obviously can't tell him that I don't know where my dad is, so I don't know if he's at home or not. And I definately can't say that I haven't been to my actual home in three years. When I first started interning at the BAU, the FBI payed for a tiny apartment in a downtown area of D.C. After a while, it came to be a hassle to pay, so I told them I would be okay. I've been using paychecks for random hotels I can find.
I hesitate to answer Spencer, not sure if it would be best to tell him about my situation or to continue lying. Deciding not to get him involved, and risk revealing my secret, I lie. "Just... troublesome neighbors. Sometimes it's just not safe to go home." The word 'home' is bitter in my mouth.
"You could stay with me, if it's not safe for you to go home."
It takes a moment for these words to sink into the air. I look at Spencer for a reaction. He is staring at his shoes with his hands in his pockets.
"Is it okay? I, I mean... It's not a problem?" I grip the edge of the table and my legs stop swinging.
"No." It is a quick response, and concise.
"Well... okay. As long as you don't care." I jump down from the desk and grab my bag.
~Rossi's POV~
Just getting back from our case, I decide to stay a little after and finish up some last minute paperwork before heading home. I finally get it done, and seperate a spot in the blinds to look out at the bullpen. I'm surprised to see two people still there - Shay and 're having a conversation, but I can tell it's very awkward. Reid won't look at Shay, and I can tell she wants him to. I continue watching, and it only gets more interesting. Shay slides off of the desk she had been sittin gon, and walks out with Reid.
I smile. "What I would give to be nineteen again..."
