I'm not really one to normally write angst, but idk I think this chapter might be a little angsty? I guess you guys'll tell me lol.

I don't own anything, other than the characters I have invented. Kendall is also based off a friend, I think she'll like the song choice lol.


When I got home the day after my audition, the first thing I did was break open my 'Ireland' piggy bank that my dad left in my possession. It was this secret thing that we kept from my mother, our planned trip to Ireland when I turned 18. Without counting it I knew I had at least $1000 dollars in bills and change that I had collected on my own since I was three.

I put $200 in my purse and hid the rest. My Ethan Hunt mission, to buy a keyboard in order to practice. Besides, there was no way in hell I was letting the telepathic piano player accompany me. I'd play for myself. The plus of this plan of action was that I wouldn't have to stare at my fellow glee club members.

This mission of mine turned out to be totally possible, I was able to purchase a keyboard at the fabulous Wal-Mart for under $150.

The next thing I did, was look up a bunch of Billy Joel songs. Then I bought the sheet music online and printed it out. I was completely set and I had been practicing for hours on end. I can proudly state that I pretty much had 'Piano Man' down, which is totally awesome seeing as I had never played it and not including the auditorium thing, I hadn't touched one for 4 years.

The moment I walked in the door after practice, my plan went completely out the window.

"What are you doing home?" I asked my mother, who happened to be watching Oprah. The Twilight cast was on…again. I was very happy that she didn't glue my eyes open and force me to watch it with her. Normally she didn't get home until sometime around five.

"Came home sick," she said with a sniffle, "A letter came for you from New York,"

"New York…do I know anyone in New York?"

"Don't know," she replied as I wandered into the kitchen and grabbed said letter before heading to my bedroom.

Dear Petal,

Oh shit….

I bet you're wondering why I haven't written to you, or called, or contacted you in anyway since I left.

The only explanation I can give you is, I'm an asshole and I truly never deserved a kid like you. I basically had to bribe your Aunt Jessie to give me your new address seeing as apparently you and your mom moved…to Lima, Ohio.

I hope you can forgive me enough to write me back…tell me how you've been, what Lima is like. Have you made any new friends yet? You were always a shy kid and with what happened…

Just, please sweetie have pity on your dad. Who got his comeuppance when the woman he stupidly dropped his wife and daughter for maxed out his credit cards and left him for a baker on West 45th Street.

Underneath his plea he wrote his New York address and his phone number.

I miss you petal.

Love, Dad

Well, so much for whale whisky and Eskimo children.


"Lil', you ok?" Mercedes questioned the moment I walked into trig, my eyes redder than the mornings after I watch Schindler's List.

"Yeah, fine" I mumbled as I took my seat only to be met with a sheet of paper from Mrs. Kaminski.

"Pop quiz, you'll turn the paper over when I tell you," the teacher said while making her rounds.

Again Mercedes looked at me with concern, "Are you sure? Cuz, seriously, you look like you got sprayed in the eyes with an entire can of pepper spray."

"Mercedes, I really don't feel like talking about it," Even if I wanted too what would I say? My dad, who I've damned to the fiery pits of hell, decided he wants to talk to me and once I saw his name on the envelop all I've wanted to do is respond, but I'm to prideful to bother because he doesn't deserve it even though all I've wanted to do for five months is talk to him.

"Alright, but you're still gonna perform right?"

"Eyes on your own papers, you have fifteen minutes and the quiz starts now," Mrs. Kaminski commanded, writing the time on the board as we all flipped our papers.

A unit circle never looked more beautiful.


"I'll be singing 'Vienna'" Quinn said in a sweet voice, she was the second performer of the practice, one of my fellow newbies went up first. I think his name was Sean, but I wasn't really paying any attention because I was going through a pile of Billy Joel songs.

This is what happens when I cry for hours, forget my music at home, and panic brings me back to tears when I bump into Mr. Shue before fifth period. He was kind and understanding as I explained my freakish/paranoid want to play my own piece, but how I forgot my copy. He sympathetically replied, saying I could find whatever I needed in the choir room and I could even go last.

If we had been in ancient times, I might've kissed his feet…which would've been completely gross.

"Hey, do you…ah need any help?" a male voice muttered quietly. If my one hundred currently swirling emotions weren't enough, I could throw pleasantly surprised on the list, because Puck was the guy standing next to me in front of the shelves.

Though, with Quinn up front I shouldn't have been that surprised.

"Yeah, alright," I wasn't going to begrudge him his ulterior motive to helping me out.

The first thing he did was motion to the 'already gone through' pile on the floor next to me. "I'm guessing I'm not going to find whatever it is you're looking for in there."

"Nope," I replied, throwing another sheet onto the pile and handing him half of the one in my hand.

"It might help if you actually tell me what I'm supposed to be looking for,"

"Piano Man," I whispered to him as I threw another sheet onto the pile

About a minute passed before the applause for Quinn started and the other new girl who had yet to perform, Kendall took her place at the front.

Her words nearly knocked me over.

"I'm, ah, singing 'Piano Man'"

The moment Brad started playing, I just kinda sorta ran out of the room, put my back against a locker, and slid down it until I was sitting on the floor.

"Okay, not that I really care or anything, but can't you just, I don't know, pick something else?" Puck's voice said, I never expected him to follow me.

"I've been practicing that song, I don't know how to play any of the others."

"Have the piano dude play it. That's what the rest of us do."

I just looked at him, with on look on my face that plainly said 'You're annoying the hell out of me, please go away.'

Apparently, he took the hint, because he walked back into the choir room.

Or so I thought, a second later he came back with the stack of Billy Joel sheet music.

"You do realize I just want to wallow in my self pity alone. She's done, you can go back and listen to everyone else, you don't have to help me."

"Red listen, you look so pathetic right now that, despite my lack of caring, I'm not just gonna leave you out here."

"…Awesome, thanks?" I had no idea what he was getting at but I guess he couldn't do me anymore damage at this point.

We sat out there for another five minutes before I found a piece of music that I couldn't put down.

"Thank God, cuz this girl bonding thing was really starting to get on my nerves." he muttered as he helped me to my feet.

"Jeez, I didn't know something as simple as this could bother someone so much. Just a question though, you helping me doesn't have anything to do with your status as a manwhore does it?"

At my question he just shrugged his shoulders and replied with a not to convincing "…No" before we both walked back into the room.


While we had been out in the hallway Kendall had finished and apparently Brittany followed her with 'Allentown' because apparently her Uncle Tony lives there.

"Very nice Brittany," Mr. Shue said with an amused smile as Artie positioned himself at the front.

"Hit it," he said with a grin to Brad and the familiar intro to 'Scenes from an Italian Restaurant' filled the room. Artie sang the beginning with the right amount of emotion and the moment the song picked up some speed he moved around the room in his chair with a grace that some dancers lacked. I certainly did, he did things with that chair that I could never imagine doing.

As the song slowed down and came to a finish many of us got to our feet and, from my experience, never clapped harder. Soon, Mike began 'We Didn't Start the Fire' and Matt followed with 'Keeping the Faith'.

My nerves were on edge as Nick, one of the new guys, asked Brad if he could play for himself, Brad got to his feet willingly and stood against the wall as Nick played and sang 'She's Always a Woman To Me.'

Good to know that Brad isn't somehow attached to the instrument. Though, I won't put a weird mental connection to the wood and fake ivory passed him.

When he finished Kurt got to his feet and simply said, "I guess that's my cue, I'm ready for my close up Mr. Shue."

Now for my part I had no idea what Kurt would sing or, in fact, what he would actually sound like. Brad returned to his bench and began playing a song that I didn't really know. I think it was called 'And So it Goes' because it was the phrase use the most, and Kurt, unlike the rest of the guys in the room, sang it in a pitch that would be more comfortable for a woman, but I seriously think that he has a higher range than I do.

During the applause for my friend, I got to my feet, moved shakily to the piano, and asked Brad if he won't mind if I also played for myself. Again he got to his feet, I couldn't tell if he was giving me the evil eye or trying to read my mind. So, I just took my place at the piano and looked over the sheet music for a minute before I even thought about starting to play.

I didn't announce myself…I don't even think I could've done it without laughing or choking…either would probably be really bad or possibly life threatening.

Finally, before anyone could tell me to start, I did it on my own. Sure I hit a few bad notes at first, but pretty soon my hands became comfortable which was good because I had the words to worry about.

Some folks like to get away, take a holiday from the neighborhood

Hop a flight to Miami Beach or Hollywood.

I'm taking a Greyhound on the Hudson River line-

I'm in a New York state of mind.

Isn't it weird how you can literally find the perfect song for any and every problem in your life. Its kinda freaky.

I seen all the movie stars in their fancy cars and their limousines,

Been high in the Rockies under the evergreens,

But I know what I'm needing and I don't want to waste more time-

I'm in a New York state of mind.

It was so easy living day by day

Out of touch with the rhythm and the blues,

But now I need a little give and take,

The New York Times, the Daily News...

The piano kept my hands from shaking and staring at the music kept my panic threat level at like….blue? I have no idea how that thing works, what I do know is, red is bad and I wasn't at red level, not yet anyway.

It comes down to reality-and it's fine with me 'cause I've let it slide,

Don't care if it's Chinatown or Riverside,

I don't have any reasons, I've left them all behind-

I'm in a New York state of mind.

It was so easy living day by day

Out of touch with the rhythm and the blues,

But now I need a little give and take,

The New York Times, the Daily News...

I'm just taking a Greyhound on the Hudson River line-

'Cause I'm in a New York state of mind.

Finally, my first performance in front of these people was over and in my personal opinion, I don't think I did half bad and judging by the applause and the look on Mr. Shue's face, the majority of New Directions agreed.

Except for Rachel, who looked shocked and she also kinda looked like she wanted to kill me… which I guess I can take as a compliment, but it still kinda freaked me out a little. Because if there was one person in this room who would commit murder, other than Brad, I had a feeling it would be Rachel Berry.

"Fantastic," Mr. Shue said proudly as I took my seat between a beaming Kurtcedes, which is what I've decided to name my two friends who were probably separated mentally at birth. "Our first week of practice is over and I personally think we're looking good."

On a positive not, which if you couldn't tell is pretty weird for me, I kinda had to agree with him.

I just really didn't want to think about what I would do about my dad or what Mr. Shue would have us perform next week.


Aren't you proud, 2 kinda long chapters in a row lol. Thanks to xDollfacex for Kurt's song, I'll be honest and say that its one of the few Billy Joel songs that I've never heard, but its a very pretty song :). I'm glad I got to at least mention that Brittany, Mike, and Matt had solos lol.

Reviewz, Iz lovez themz :P.