Chapter 7: Slowing down

Author's note: The story about Leonard and his grandmother is, of course, made up.


Leonard McCoy was confused when he woke up. The place on the bed next to him was empty. He reached out with one hand and felt the cold mattress.

"Jamie?"

No answer. And not a sound.

"Darlin', where are you?" he asked again and sat up in bed.

He got up, put some pants on and went to the com unit. He touched a button. "McCoy to Kirk."

No answer. Now he was worried. And annoyed.

"Doctor McCoy to Captain Kirk", he tried a second time.

No answer.

"Dammit Jamie, what's going on?" he mumbled exasperated and even more worried.

Leonard took a look around, but everything seemed to be normal. Her uniform dress was gone, but her boots were still where she'd left them the night before.

He ran a hand over his face and pondered what could be the reason for this situation. It took him only a few moments to realize it. "Shit..." She must have gotten her memories back. And that must have set something off. He still couldn't remember anything.

"McCoy to Medbay."

"This is M'Benga", a male voice answered.

"Is Jamie Kirk in Medbay? Or was she there last night?" Leonard asked.

"No. And no."

Leonard sighed. "Okay, thanks. McCoy out." He pursed his lips and contemplated what to do now. "Computer, locate Captain Kirk."

"Captain Kirk is on the observation deck."

Leonard reached for his uniform shirt, and put it on. His boots, too. Then he left the captain's quarters with fast steps.


Jamie leant against a wall on the observation deck. She had her knee pulled against her body and her arms wrapped around them. She stared out of the big window front into the darkness of space and tried to ignore her headache.

She moved the fingers on her right hand from time to time and used her thumb to feel the metal of the ring or glanced to the gem that looked like the blue of the medical uniforms.

The headache aside, she felt better than a few hours ago. But she also still felt a little lost. She remembered that she was best friends with Leonard McCoy - not in a relationship. What now? Could this be the start of something new? But what if she didn't want to lose what they had? Or what if he changed his mind when his memories came back?

She was a grown woman and men or sex had never been a problem for her. But, well, perhaps that was exactly the problem. This wasn't about men and this wasn't about plain sex. This was about Leonard McCoy. And love. A real romantic relationship and a possible marriage.

Jamie looked at the ring again. Leonard's grandmother's ring. Elisabeth Gilmore. They'd been very close and he'd been devastated when she'd died. Jamie had met the elder woman briefly in her first year at the Academy.

Jamie had accompanied Leonard to the funeral and was present when he'd gotten the ring from some lawyer. Elisabeth had left it to him. It had been her most precious possession and she'd loved her grandson very much. Since the 20th century that ring was given from mother to daughter in the Gilmore family. But Elisabeth and her daughter Eleonora hadn't been on good terms. So Elisabeth wanted Leonard to have the ring - either to give it to Joanna one day or to a woman he loved. He'd always said he would wear it until Jo was of age. But now...

...the ring was at Jamie's hand as a promise of future together. If she wanted it.

Did she want it?

"Marriage..." Jamie whispered to herself. "This is crazy..."

"Is it?"

She startled and looked up. Leonard was standing a few meters away, having his hands in the pockets of his uniform pants.

Jamie sighed. "Do you remember yet?"

"So, you got your memories back?"

"Yeah, along with some nasty headache again."

He chuckled, stepped next to her, took a hypo out of one of his pockets and sat down beside her. "I figured as much." He administered the hypo he'd gotten in Medbay on his way here.

Jamie did neither protest nor flinch. She just looked at him with a very vulnerable expression. "Sorry, I panicked a little... "

He took her hand and gently trailed over the ring. "Why?"

"Because we are best friends. No couple."

He gave her a look she couldn't decipher. "I think I know enough about my feelings to say that I don't see a problem. So we were simply friends - now we are a couple." He shrugged. "Big deal. As I said: If I never told you that I love you, I'm an idiot."

She sighed. "We better postpone this conversation for when you also have your memories back."

"Do you love me?"

Jamie blinked in surprise. "What?"

"It's a simple question. Are you in love with me?" Leonard repeated with an affectionate smile.

"Yes... And that's the problem."

"Why?"

"Because." She shook her head and sighed again. "I want to figure this out. But we can't talk without you remembering who you are and what we are... were to each other. We need to sort this out, but not now... This is all my fault. I was so convinced what we are. I was too impulsive and... I'm really afraid that we did too much too soon. It's all a mess. We need to slow down, Bones." She let out a laugh of disbelief. "I'm trying to do the responsible thing here."

Jamie contemplated taking the ring off and giving it back to him. But for some reason her hands refused to move. However, the rest of her body did. She got up, kissed him on the cheek and walked away. "I should get ready for Alpha Shift..."

Leonard kept sitting and sighed. He felt a headache starting.