Injustice of Living
Chapter Six

Chapter Six: A Deal

"...And I'm going to need your help."

Help.

He finally told me, he finally asked. That's how he ended his long story, by asking for my help. ...And I was too confused to say no. He had told me everything. Well, the abridged version, anyway. He obviously left out a few bits… He paused a lot, skipping over chunks of time.

Our initial friendship had been built off asking for help. With the way our mothers were, we needed a lot of it. Plenty of borrowing money, staying over at each other's places, walking to school together ( way back when we actually went to school…), that sort of stuff. By the time we were teenagers, we were on a "No questions asked" basis. He needed something, he got it. I needed something, he'd give it to me. Because that's what you do for someone you love, right?

But despite the confusion that kept me from saying no, I had a gut feeling that I shouldn't say yes. Instead of answering, I avoided eye contact and fiddled with the items in my little memory box. I picked out a worn scrap of newspaper.

BAT HAS A NEW BIRD!

That was the title the was the title they came up with at the Gotham Tribune. Jason and I had laughed at it for hours. The article wasn't very informative, it was practically a tabloid. Most of it was speculation on who Jason actually was, going as far to ask whether he was actually a girl.

Jason leaned forward across the table, trying to catch my eye. "Maddy…? Do you want me to explain it again?"

He was speaking so softly and sweetly, it felt fucking patronizing.

"Yeah," I snapped back, sarcastically, dropping the worn scrap of newsprint. "Explain it again, Jace. Tell me how you died, and were thrown in a magic lake-" I waved my hands manically. "And how you wandered around for a couple years- without calling me-" at this, he threw up a hand to interrupt, but quickly retracted it when I glared. "Then what? Memory loss? Training, traveling the world, learning some karate? And yeah, okay- I get that this must have been hell for you, Jason, but I'm kinda really mad right now, so I need to yell a little!"

His expression turned sympathetic, "Oh, Madds…" he sighed.

My eyes began to tear. I stood from the table, turning to lean against the half-wall so he wouldn't see me cry. "You've already asked me to lie to Bruce."

"I didn't think that'd be an issue." He remained completely calm, waiting for me to get over myself.

"We're not close or anything…" I sniffed. "But he's done a lot for me."

"He's done a lot for himself. You know that. Everything he gave you, everything he told you, was just to make himself feel better."

I blotted my eyes with the sleeve of my blouse. When I was certain I wasn't going to start sobbing, I turned back around, but remained standing. "You should've seen him at the funeral. He looked like he was gonna jump into the grave."

There was a coldness in Jason's eyes that I was unfamiliar with. Again I found myself overly aware of how old he was, how much of a man he was. Not the boy I had fallen in love with. He looked me up and down, assessing my words, my posture, everything. I couldn't read him at all.

"He let me die Maddy. He let me die and didn't do a single thing about it."

I wanted to argue, but I knew I held no ground. Anything I would say seemed unfair. Bruce had tried to save him, I knew that… But Jason didn't see it like that. To Jason, Bruce had failed. Attempts meant nothing, all that mattered now was the result. The torture he went through… I couldn't even imagine. I had gone through some pretty horrible stuff… but waking up dead? Finding out the only real parent I had ever known moved on, and even replaced me? That was a level of turmoil I just could not wrap my head around, even with all the shit I've gone through. Just hearing him tell the story brought on a sadness I hadn't felt in a long, long time. It wasn't even that it was a sad tale… It was that Jason was out there, completely alone, literally going through hell. He had crossed over from this life, only to be dragged back to learned that one of the only people he had ever fully trusted in the world turned his back on him.

And the entire time, I sat around feeling sorry for myself. I was too busy moping around, thinking about how I was alone again. But Jason had been alone, too, even worse off. I didn't do a damn thing about it. I couldn't have helped him, and that broke my heart.

"What do you want from me?" the question escaped my lips like a quiet plea.

He stared towards me, looking just over my head. "I have some plans… Plans to fix the things that have been left wrong in this city for far too long."

Gotham was a city of a million problems. Between Jason and I, we had seen them all. Lives ruined, people and families hurt beyond repair… Some got better, some moved on, some died, some had even worse things happen.

"Be more specific, Jace. You gotta spell it out for me so I can really wrap my head around this whole thing."

Jason nodded, leaning back into his chair with a hard expression. He rested one arm on the table, the other was propped up behind him. "The small gangs, to begin with. Get control of the drug trade, which will get us control over the bigger crime organizations. The Russians, the Italians, the North gangs, red light district, and anything going down by the docks."

Being a low-income Gothamite, I was more than familiar with the territories of the city gangs. I worked over his words a few times. A word Tim had taught me came to mind, "So you want to get rid of all the crime syndicates in the city…"

He kept up his business-like exterior, "There's no way to eradicate them completely. It would be a useless waste of time to try. I'm looking to control them."

"Then what?" I was scared to ask, "What's your end game?"

Jason's eyes dropped to the floor and he got quiet, "Then I take out the ones everyone else is too afraid to take out."

'Too afraid to take out…?'

"... You mean, like the Joker? Penguin, Two-Face? Those ones?"

"They're overpowered psychopaths who have terrorized the city for way too long. You get that, don't you, Maddy?"

"But that's why we have Batman," I argued, "He puts them away in Arkham-"

"Where it's only a matter of time before they get out." Jason stood from the chair, running a frustrated hand through his hair, turning his back to me. "Arkham is a temporary solution, Maddy!"

I sat back down, he remained standing. This had been a long day. Hell, this was turning out to be a long week, and it was only Monday. "So what do you want me to do? I've already let you stay here, lied for you, done everything you've asked of me so far. What more do you want?"

For the first time since he had shown up, I could read Jason's expression clearly. Guilt, sorrow, disappointment, and hurt. It took a lot for me to keep my face straight, but I somehow managed not to break.

He took a step closer to where I sat, "I know you've done so much for me already, and I swear I'll pay you back for everything- somehow. I just- I just need you by my side." He grabbed my shoulders gently, kneeling so our faces were level. "What I have planned will change Gotham forever, for the better. It's for the greater good… But I don't think I'll be able to do it without you."

I took hold of his wrists, pushing his hands away. The logical part of me started loosing the fight, and the part of me that wanted to say yes grew stronger. But my internal battle wasn't over yet.

"So why pick me?" I practically spat. "Out of all the connections you've made, all your superhero friends, why pick me as your new sidekick?"

I saw his mouth twitch into a smile when I said the word "sidekick," but it was only there for a moment. "Haven't you figured it out?" He stood once more to reclaim the seat across from me. I'm glad he did, it made our conversation seem more like an even discussion.

I shook my head. "I'm a street kid with a desk job. I have no skills to offer," I let out a dry laugh without meaning to, "I-I mean... I even dropped out of high school."

Jason shrugged, "I have more than enough 'skill' to make up for it. Anything you need to know, I can teach you... But, Maddy, you're the only one I trust in this city. I could go to someone with better qualifications, but I can't trust them. That's all I need, someone who I can trust. Someone I can rely on." The air of the room was shifting with our conversation. Right now it was balanced between an interview and an inquisition… Neither were very much in my favor.

My eyebrows shot up at his reasoning, "You broke into my home… You stole something from me. You think I still trust you?" My anger had been simmering for too long, I couldn't keep it down any more. The side of my fist slammed against the wall hard enough I could feel the bones in my arms vibrate. Jason's posture stiffened defensively, still continuing to maintain perfect eye contact.

"Yes," he answered firmly without hesitation.

He was right. He was so fucking right. Jason had done so much for me and proved time and time again that he would never hurt me. Was I suspicious of his intentions? Yeah. Did a part of me think he was doing something really, really bad? Yes. Did I think he was going to harm me in any way? Of course not.

I stared down at the table, unconsciously nursing my sore hand in my lap while mulling over the situation for the thousandth time today. After a lengthy silence, I reluctantly asked, "...What would I have to do?"

For a split second, he looked surprised. Then those beautiful blue eyes of his lite up, and the smallest of smirks pulled at the corner of his mouth. "Well… mostly I'll need your help with surveillance, some reconnaissance, things like that. There's gonna be some physical demands as well, but I can help you there…" he trailed off, taking a deep breath, "I really just need you to be my six. Just like the old days."

For years, all I wanted 'the old days' back. From age fourteen to this weekend had been nothing but a drawn-out nightmare of loneliness and mourning (over someone who wasn't actually dead, of course!), with the occasional break into a pseudo-normalcy when Tim was in town. I missed that kid desperately right now. Despite that I was the older one, and frequently acted as his counselor, Tim was far wiser than me. I could give advice, but he could give me guidance. God only knows how much I needed some right now.

"...Let me sleep on it."

I was already out of the chair and heading towards my bedroom before he had a chance to respond. I left him there with my cigar box on the kitchen table, slamming my bedroom door behind me. The sun was down by now, leaving the only light coming from the streetlamps outside. My underwear drawer was still open, a pair of green lace panties dangling over the side. I stopped to glare at the mess I had left before deciding I wasn't going to do fuck all about it.

I kicked off my shoes and left them in the middle of the floor. My sheets were still strewn from this morning, but I managed to wrangle them over me and get comfortable enough. The thought of my blouse and skirt getting wrinkled nagged at the back of my mind, but for the life of me, I really couldn't care less.

Then I just laid there, unable to sleep. I heard Jason cleaning up the kitchen, putting away the food we didn't eat. It had smelled so good, too...

I stayed awake in bed for hours watching each minute slip by on my digital alarm clock. At exactly 12:06am, Jason walked through my bedroom door.

He came and stood at the opposite side of the bed. Lifting the covers, I let him lay down beside me.

And another hour passed.

Jason's hand encompassed mine, stroking it lightly with his thumb as he waited for a response, an argument, anything. I thought about how warm it was and how many times I fell asleep thinking about how cold his skin must have been when they lowered his casket... My mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton. Even though I remained silent at his arrival, neither of us seemed particularly uncomfortable. His small display of affection spoke more than anything I could ever think to say.

It was just like all those years ago when we'd fall asleep every night like this… All that had changed was the sheets and us.

1:37am.


1:37am, six years ago. Neither of us realized just how late it had gotten until Jason noticed his digital watch shining light through the amber glass of our 40oz. When he asked if I wanted to turn in, I shook my head and held out my hand for him to pass me the bottle.

"Hey, Maddy. Can I ask you something?"

I took another swig of beer, cringing at the horrible bitterness. My head shook in an attempt to get rid of the taste, "Sure," I coughed, handing it back to him.

Jason took a large gulp smoothly. He could bare it so much better than I could. "Do, um…" he fiddled with the corner of the label with his thumbnail. "W-what would you think of me if I killed someone?"

It was the type of question you thought you always knew the answer to, up until someone actually asked you.

I pulled at my shoelaces, tugging at the top one until my right shoe was tight enough to cut off my circulation a little.

We were up on the roof of the apartment. Jason perched himself right on the edge, swigging his feet freely against the facade wall. I was too scared to sit up there next to him, so I had sat on the asphalt top, leaning up against the brick barrier he was on. A dim glow barely reached us from the streetlights. I could only just make out Jason's face, eyes fixed to the sidewalk below. His glowing digital watch was a beacon against his completely black silhouette, probably lighting up my face with it's pale green glow. Between us was little space and a lot of silence. No place in Gotham was ever completely quiet, with police sirens always going off somewhere, cars honking, a dog, maybe someone shouting at their neighbors… But the way we were now as the closest you could get to being silent in Gotham.

"... I dunno."

He passed me back the beer, "I didn't actually kill anyone."

"Oh."

"But I think I might."

"...oh."

"Would you hate me if I did?"

"...I don't think so… I mean, I wouldn't be happy about it. ...But, no. I wouldn't hate you."

'It really depends,' I thought to myself, 'On who you killed...' Peopled died every day. People were killed every day. People in Gotham were killed every single day. It was Jason's job to help stop the killers. And if that meant killing them as well, that was okay, right? These thoughts made sense in my head, but my chest became tight and my stomach was suddenly unsettled.

We didn't speak again after that.

Our 40oz slowly disappeared between us. Jason tossed the empty over the side of the building, letting it shatter in the dumpster below. My heart felt heavy and my stomach fizzed as we descended the fire escape, slipping in my apartment through the window.


"Okay," the word didn't sound like it had been said by me. It sounded and felt like someone else had spoken for me.

His arms snaked around me, and he pulled me close with a vigor. I didn't know why, but it made me upset that he was so excited.

"Thanks, Madds," he breathed into the back of my shoulder, planting a kiss there. "Thank you so much."

1:40am. "Everything's going to be okay, though… Right?"

Another shoulder kiss and he held me tighter. "Of course."


So, this took a while to write. I'm still not 100-percent satisfied with how this chapter turned out, but I'm excited for the story here on out. Also, I've noticed that I've been changing the way Maddy spells her name in different chapters (because I'm absent minded and don't Beta). It is M-a-d-d-y, not M-a-d-d-i-e. Perhaps someday I will go back and edit the published chapters, but that won't happen for a while.

Also, a quick thanks to all my readers for being the most patient people on the planet and sticking with me. Thank you so much!

~Hadley-sensei