Chapter 7: Escape!

Once again Sam finds himself enveloped in warmth and comfort upon awaking. He smiles contently and nuzzles his warm blanket against his cheek. His lips purse outward, he sucks air and realizes he's missing something. His face contorts to a frown and he makes a unhappy sound. His mind is hazy and he feels an unsettling discomfort come over him as searches with his mouth and mind for what he's missing. As he tries to find out why he is so unhappy he's not sure if he whimpers out "I… need, I want, where… is my…my …my…Binky?"

Sam's mind finally fully awakes after that last thought making him sit up fast and alert!

"What the? Did I just?" Sam scrubs his face with his hands "did I just voice that thought?" he wonders.

He breaks out in a sweat. He wonders where the thought came from and why he was even at ease with it when he awoke. Like it was all natural and normal he realizes.

Cold dread comes over Sam as his subconscious mind whispers "conditioning." "No, no, no, no, no,… no way in hell," he thinks. He needs to get the fuck out, like right now!

He crawls quickly over to the bars, sees the two buttons in the middle and reaches up to press them inward to lower them. He swings his legs over and hops off. He lands and then, kerplunk, he falls flat on his face. "Okay, didn't see that coming," he thinks as he sits up. His legs feel a bit weak like he been running under water and just came out, the muscles are shaking and his circulation is numb. He does a self-assessment and realizes that its normal considering the past 2 days he has not really been on his feet, what with Dean carrying him and all.

He quickly runs his hands up and down his legs to get the circulation going then brings his legs up and does a few air bicycling moves. When he feels them warming up a bit he stops and leans over to the crib to grab the side and pulls himself up.

He still has a slight shake but feels stronger as he stand up his full height to take his first steps. Everything seems okay so he starts walking towards the door then stops. He very slowly lifts his hand to the door knob and twists ever so slowly. When there's no click Sam sighs in relief.

He slowly opens the door a crack to peek out. Seeing nothing outside he gently opens it more, slowly sticking his head out to look left and right. Seeing that the coast is clear, he walks with his back against the wall. He moves quickly but silently.

He pauses before reaching Dean's door, it's open and he peers around the corner. It's empty, he's about to pass by but stops and looks down at himself. Maybe a change of clothes is in order. It should only take a minute he reasons as he walks quickly over to Dean's dresser. He's about to open the bottom drawers but pauses looking over his shoulder. He grabs the sheet of paper that is on the dresser and the pen on the nightstand next to it. He quickly scribbles something down, studies it frowning then smiles and adds one last line.

Opening the drawers he is rewarded with on old pair of black sweats. Although they might be a bit short on him it's better than what he is wearing now. He opens the next drawer up and grabs one of Dean's t-shirts which will be fitted on him.

He reaches down and unbuttons the overall shorts straps letting them down around his legs before he steps out of them. Now is the embarrassing part, he reaches between his legs and grabs the center of the onesie to unsnap the metal buttons…nothing…. they seemed stuck. "Okay," Sam looks up with a grimace and rolls his shoulders. He tries again and pulls a little harder, one buttons snaps and the rest tears a bit. It's not the first time he has had to rip his clothes but this one time he will relish it.

He grabs the half hanging flap, he pulls ripping it off completely and smiles. He grabs the sweats, pulling them on but stops half way as realizes he still has on the stupid diaper. Upon seeing the diaper his bladder reminds him that he needs to go "great" he thinks "I'll need to make bathroom pit stop before leaving." He drops the sweats which pool at his feet. As he grabs the tabs he hears someone clear their throat.

Sam swallows slowly, straightens up and turns around. Dean is leaning against the doorway.

"Does someone want to play dress up?" Dean asks with a smile.

Sam blushes, wanting to cover up since he is only wearing a diaper, having not had the chance to pull on the sweats and shirt. The collar of the onesie he tore is hanging loosely around his neck. "No" he mumbles in reply. "I'm not a little kid and I don't play dress up" he adds with a petulant glare.

"Are you sure you're not playing dress up?" Dean asks with a frown "that's what it looks like to me. I mean you can't possibly be doing anything else can you?" He pauses before adding "you know, like deciding to do something naughty." Dean leaves the rest unsaid.

Sam looks blankly at his so Dean changes tactics and steps into the room "are you okay?" Dean asks sounding concerned, "I thought I heard you wake up and make some sad sounds."

Sam doesn't answer but takes a step back "what?." He looks confused for a second before it dawns on him that Dean must have heard him through the monitor on the crib. "Damn stupid mistake", he thinks "should have covered it." "No, uh I'm find Dean, just stretching, that's what you probably heard" he replies trying to sound sure of himself.

Dean takes another step forward and Sam takes a step back. They continue until Sam feels the wall behind his back.

Sam grabs the paper that he left on the dresser as Dean raises a questioning eyebrow. "I don't want to use this Dean but I will" Sam says with a firm voice.

"It's okay, Sammy", Dean says putting his hands up in a placating gesture as he steps up to Sam. Sam gives Dean an "I'm sorry" look and without hesitating slams the piece a paper on Dean's chest. Before Dean can react there is flash of light and he feels himself being hurled backwards to slam against the wall in the hall way.

Sam had drawn a devil's trap but extroverted it. It was something he found while in the lower basement of the bunker where there was a whole bookshelf of all types of devils trap drawings with an explanation for each. This one repels demons and came in handy if the whole exorcism couldn't be said and the victim needed to be saved. It expelled the demon but left only a few seconds before it locked on to another body. Since Dean wasn't possessed it had flung him although Sam had not been expecting it to happen with that much force.

Sam is shocked as he can't believe it worked. He runs over to Dean who is slumped on the floor. Worried that it might have had hurt Dean, Sam checks for any damages but sees none. He sits next to Dean for about a minute biting his lower lip and feeling a bit guilty. He finally make the decision to move, he grabs the sweats and pulls them on over the diaper which he'll take off once he's out of the bunker since he doesn't know how long Dean will be out. As he is walking he pulls on the black shirt, it's a bit snug, but comfortable enough. He walks purposely down the corridor to the elevator that takes him to the garage below.

He steps off the elevators and sees his car keys hanging on the wall with other keys and smiles.

As Sam slides into the Camaro, he inserts the key into the ignition and quickly turns it making the Camaro come to life. He pulls his legs in and stops noticing that he is still wearing the damn soft green baby shoes. "Okay, driving with these on will be a new experience" he thinks. "I've driven with bare feet and with socks before so this shouldn't be any different" he reassures himself. He slams the door shut and puts the car into first gear. He pulls out of the garage and drives down the dirt path where he puts the car in second gear to zoom ahead. After driving for 10 minutes he closes his eyes briefly and whispers "Castiel".

He hears the flutter of wings followed by "Sam what is wrong?"

Sam huffs out a laugh at Castiel's question, he looks to his right to the passenger seat where Cas is sitting. "That's a loaded question" Sam replies sarcastically. Castiel looks at him confused. "Never mind Cas, just really glad you here. You'll never guess where I've been."

"I thought you were with Dean?" Cas replies.

"Yeah I was, but…" Sam trails off and looks at Cas, "how did you know?"

"It's where I just came from" Cas intones.

"Wh wh, what, wait, you were at the Bunker?" Sam blinks at Cas looking back and forth from the road to him.

"I sense you are a bit distressed" Cas tells Sam.

"A BIT?! CAS did you look around and see anything out of the ordinary" Sam shouts exasperatedly.

"No" Castiel answers. "No?" Sam echos.

"Sam you seem upset, perhaps you should stop the car?"

"No, I am driving until I reach the next town" Sam states squirming a bit and try to re-adjust his sitting as he drives. "Or at least until I get to a gas station" he thinks to himself.

"Sam, I don't think Dean will be too happy with you driving to a gas station."

Sam wonders if something is off as he glances at Castiel. He gulps and asks "you spoke with Dean?"

"Yes, we were in the kitchen in the middle of discussing Heaven's gates when we heard you waking up" Cas replies calmly.

Sam's hands begin to sweat, his skin prickles with trepidation and his stomach turns to ice. He licks his lips before asking the next questions, watching Castiel out of the corner of his eyes.

"So you were in the kitchen with Dean and uh" he swallows "um aware of where I was?"

Sam keeps his eyes on the road, hoping beyond hope that Castiel does not answer what he thinks he will answer.

"Of course Sam, Dean made sure to have the baby monitor on the loudest setting" the blue eyed angel responds staring at Sam.

Sam starts to breathe heavily, in out, not knowing where he's going now or what will happen. He wishes he had something to ward or protect himself from Cas. Sam almost laughs at the last thought. He feels like he is in another of Gabriel's joke television shows or alternate universe reality and he's the last one in on the joke.

It hits Sam that he has no one to blame but himself. He opened himself up to being re-captured. How stupid could he be…he thinks about everything his dad and Dean had taught him about hunting and escaping when captured. He'd researched and retained all the details and it was the last one that he'd forgotten. Dean had mentioned to him the day before that angels had helped remold his room. And here he was calling for Cas- his brother's best friend- of course Cas would be in on this! He can feel the frustration, anger at himself and tears welling up at the same time.

"Sam" Castiel voice startles Sam from his thoughts and he look down at his arm where Cas has placed a hand.

"I can see you are emotionally unsettled and upset…"

"Oh Cas I'm past upset" Sam huffs out between a laugh and a teary voice.

"I think it's time to go home Sam."

"You think…" Sam laughs… "do I get a choice?" he asks softly.

"No" Castiel sighs dropping his hand from Sam's arm.

Sam really does not know whether he wants to laugh or cry. He doesn't slow down the car though. He wants to think he can get further but knows it's useless. He waits to see what Cas' next move is.

"Dean can track you right now, can't he?" Sam asks.

"Yes, but I asked him to give me the chance to bring you back home" Cas explains.

Sam nods his head understanding as he grips the wheel tighter "your move Cas."

Castiel really looks apologetic and Sam nods his acknowledgment.

"Hannah you may proceed'

Sam looks quickly in the review mirror and sees the black haired female angel. "Of course" Sam thinks "Cas doesn't have enough angel juice to do what Hannah is about to do." He can't help but slam his hand on the steering wheel and his eyes spill over with tears. He angrily wipes them away.

The female looks at Sam with sympathy in her eyes as she reaches out with her hand to rest it on Sam's shoulder. Sam tenses and waits. When nothing happens, he looks up and Hannah gives him a look "it'll be easier and safer if you pull the car over" she informs him. Before Sam can get any other ideas Hannah tells him "no Sam, I can still do it I was just thinking you didn't want the car to crash."

Sam shoulders slump and he pulls the car over to the side of the road. He puts his head down on the steering wheel and when he looks back up, he looking through the crib rails. Cas and Hannah are on the other side causing Sam to bristle with anger.

"So how long have you two known?" he asks angrily. "Could you be more specific?" Hannah asks her head tilted to one side looking genuinely puzzled.

Sam looks at them incredulous and spread his arms out "MORE SPECIFIC THAN THIS?" he shouts.

Cas immediately understands what Sam is asking and informs Hannah. "Ah yes, he means his current situation how long have we known about it." "I don't think so Castiel, a situation would means there is an ending insight, a resolution. Sam's predicament is a permanent fixture "Hannah replies to Castiel's statement. "You are correct my apologies" Cas offers.

Sam can't believe what he's hearing, he looks back and forth between them "are they serious?" he thinks. Then Hannah's last statement hits him. "Wait, wait, permanent fixture?" He looks at both angels confusion clearly showing his eyes.

"Yes Sam" Castiel replies. "Was he not told"? Hannah whispers to Cas as though Sam was not in the room.

"Okay, this is getting weird, especially talking through the bars" Sam decides and crawls over to the rail to lower it. He swings his legs over and jumps down. Cas and Hannah are at his side in an instant making to help him. He steps back holding out his hands "stop, I can stand on my own" he practically yells.

"You are getting upset Sam" Hannah says before turning to Cas "maybe I should inform Dean to come in now?" she asks.

Sam whips his head at that "no! Look, see, I've calmed down" Sam says, eyes pleading with Cas. "Just tell me what is going on, how are you guys involved and for how long."

Cas looks at him and nods, "why don't you sit down?" Sam agrees and leans on the crib bedding.

"You wanted a way to save Dean and satiate the Mark, this is what we have come up with, you actually gave us the idea."

Sam tries to understand and nods before waving his arms around "this is what you came up with? Changing my room into a nursery, having Dean humiliate me by taking over my decisions and having me wear….wear…" Sam can't say the word so he quickly pulls the sweatpants to flash a part of the diaper he is still wearing "I think I'd know if I gave you an idea like this" he finishes with a puff.

Castiel is studying Sam and answers very carefully "the day you saw Dean for the first time after he'd been missing for a week, you were in that storage facilities. You were on your way because you heard of Demon activity, right?"

"I know I told you about it."

"No, Hannah and I were there also" Sam looks confused so Castiel explains further "we were invisible to you and Dean."

"Why?"

"I wanted to see something for myself and, if possible, confirm the rumors of Dean being turned into a Knight of hell."

"Wait you knew and didn't tell me right away?! I prayed to you when Dean first disappeared! I get Crowley not answering the summons, but you deliberately ignoring me?!" Sam sounds hurt.

"Sam I am sorry but at the time I was grieving myself and would not have been much help to you and Heaven was in disarray after Metatron was captured. Then three days later rumors circled Heaven that a new Knight of Hell had risen. We sent Jacob to track Crowley and report back his findings. Two days later he found Crowley and reported what he saw and heard. Just like you, I was shocked to hear what had happened to Dean and I was ready to go to you once I heard, but the rest of his report gave me pause. Had I not waited to listen to the rest, I would only had brought you sad and bad news." Sam waited for Cas to finish.

"Sam there had only been one answer from the moment I saw the Mark on Dean that first time. His death before the mark would corrupt him but by the time Metatron stabbed him, he'd already been transforming, if you recall. So when he died I should have realized that it was only a transitional death. Killing Dean helped the mark completely take over, or so I thought. When you reminded Dean that Cain killed for 2,000 years but then stopped because of Collette, you asked him what would keep Dean from going mad since he did not have anyone. But he did Sam."

"I don't understand how that explains what's happening now" Sam says looking perplexed.

"Cain had Collette, the love he felt for her changed him and made him able to stop" Cas explains. Sam's stomach turns when he starts to get the picture.

"Can you imagine how much more Dean's love for you is, you have been his, since the day you were entrusted to him when he ran with you in his arms from the fire that engulfed your home. The final proof for me that Dean was still somewhat in control was the confrontation you had with him in the warehouse. He could have kill you instead chose to let you live. Love had always been the answer Sam, we can't remove the Mark but we can completely satiate it" Castiel finishes.

"Guys, I love my big brother and all and I would do anything to save him but this? This can't be the only answer you've come up with! I mean Dean can still be here with me. why this weird game?" Sam asks.

"It's not a game" Hannah repiles, "it's a lifestyle, that has saved Dean and has kept you from causing more trouble and from getting yourself into trouble."

"Wait, what? Keep me out of trouble?" Sam doesn't understand.

Castiel sights "Sam you went off the rails during the last four months doing things you normally would never do."

"You're one to talk! Remember a little stint, oh I don't know, playing God and swallowing Leviathans?! Or Let's not forget Dean's track records of making rash decisions when it involves me dying! You don't see me suggesting to put you guys in time out" Sam yells.

Cas understands where Sam is coming from and see how upset he is so he decides a different approach to get Sam to pause and think.

"You are correct Sam. Dean and I both have made decisions out of desperation instead of being rational. What helped was when we listened to people who could see the situation from the outside. Dean and I have both owned up to our mistakes and tried to make amends. But you would not listen to me or Hannah when we told you that you'd been acting, shall we say, irresponsible and neglectful of your safety and well-being. When you would not listen and refused to talk about it we decided there was only one option left. It's been proven in the past the only person you ever listen to is Dean."

Sam bit his lip as he listened to Cas' speech. It felt like a lecture and it didn't help that Hannah was looking at Sam like he'd done something really bad.

"Okay, I might have crossed some lines here and there these past few months. Maybe I did lose sight of my health but, I still don't see…ok maybe I do….wait that's not what I meant" Sam says feeling like he was floundering. He wants to go back to sleep and start the whole day again for some strange reason.

Castiel pauses a moment to gather his thoughts before attempting to answer. He doesn't want to upset Sam by choosing the wrong words. He wants to reassure him that this is good for him and that he needs it. The boundaries and structure are something that a part of him yearns for. "I understand that you are not quite sure that you want this, but why hesitate? Humans call it 'age play' and from my research I found that some people take joy and comfort from it. We naturally thought this would make you finally feel safe and comfortable to be in your natural state of mind, without trying to hide it any longer."

"MY What?!" Sam shrieks.

"Your natural state of mind" Castiel repeats.

Sam looks between the two angels trying to analyze what they just said. "Why does everyone keep insisting, that I am this eternal child?"

Hannah looks at Sam in surprise and replies "you are really not aware of your soul are you?" She receives a blank stare from Sam.

"Sam have you noticed that since the day I met you, or any other angel that has come in contact with you, we have always acknowledged your status?"

"What do you mean?" Sam looks confused.

"There has never been a time where any angel, including myself, has not greeted you with a hello child, kid, or boy. We or shall I say heaven and hell have never made a reference to you as an adult" Hannah finishes.

"Yeah I remember but I always thought you guys were just being sarcastic or insulting" Sam pouts crossing his arms.

"Sam if you could see with our eyes or with Deans' eyes you would see your true soul form" Hannah gives him a warm smile to Sam's questioning eyes.

"Just as angels and demons have a true form, so do souls. Yours represents an eternal innocent child despite the demon blood that ran through your veins. It's why you feel the need to be close to Dean for love, comfort and protection. He's always been the parent in this relationship, your guardian and protector" she finishes with a smiles as though that would make what she's just said better.

"Why?" Sam askes.

Now it's Hannah and Cas' turn to be confused "Why what?"

"Why is my soul that way or was created that way?"

Before either angel can reply Dean speaks up "thanks guys I'll take it from here."

Sam lifts his head and looks over to the doorway Dean is standing in. Sam's immediate impulse is to run but there's nowhere to go as he is inside the room with no other exit.

Dean strides forward. Sam sees the look on his face and quickly stands behind Cas.

Cas looks amused. Sam had just insisted he was not a child but he was acting like one now. Dean reaches around Cas and grabs Sam by the elbow and pulls him forward. Sam stumbles a bit but Dean catches him and pulls him up into his arms and places him on his hip.

"Dean!" Sam yells and starts to push against him.

"Sammy, stop" Dean warns making Sam instantly stop his struggle. "This is so embarrassing" he thinks. He can't face Cas or Hannah so he drops his head onto Dean's shoulder thinking that it shouldn't this easy for Dean to hold him on his hip. "It's as though I'm small instead of 6'4. For crying out loud Dean is only 6'1 and some centimeters" he thinks a little hysterically.

"Thanks guys for bringing Sammy home" Dean says rubbing Sam's back as he speaks with Castiel and Hannah. "Cas, I promise to discuss with you later the details I was able to pick up on your grace, after I feed Sam his lunch and put him down for an afternoon nap."

Hannah looks a bit upset and Dean apologizes to her "I'm sorry Hannah I know this is important but unfortunately I was not expecting Sammy to have a mini adventure. That knocks us off schedule, otherwise I would have had everything ready for you and Cas."

Sam is about to feel bad about what he just heard, but then thinks "did I just hear right? They were discussing a case and researching without me?" He lifts his head from Dean's shoulder and starts to turn towards them until Dean holds him in place.

"Settle down Sammy, you are in enough trouble as it is. We will discuss your behavior later" Dean's tone leaves no room for argument.

Sam feels himself burn bright red, being scolded by Dean in front of Cas and Hannah. He wants to rest his head back on Dean's shoulder but he'll be damned if he's going to let Dean chastise him in front of others and embarrass him as he sits rigid in Dean's arms. Then he realizes he's not just sitting rigid because he's angry but because his bladder is making it's presences known that it's full. He's been holding it as long as he can and he really needs to get to a bathroom now.

He needs to get down and go, so he shifts and squirm in Dean's arms. Dean moves him up a bit more and realizing Sam is getting restless, so he'd better wrap things up with Cas and Hannah.

"So I better get started, but if you come back today after 8 pm we can begin again without interruptions."

"Of course Dean thank you again. I know it's a been a bit difficult and once again we are asking for your help."

"No don't worry about it Cas, that what friends are for…" before he can continue Sam hisses out between his teeth "Dean!" and tries to get out of Dean's hold.

"Sammy" Dean's voice contains a warning note.

"Please Dean" Sam whispers in a distressed voice.

"What baby?" the warning tone is gone and he now sounds concerned.

Castiel picks up on Sam's distress and thoughts and immediately looks at Hannah "it's time for us to go now Hannah. We will see you later Dean" and with that the angels leave.

Dean turns his full attention to Sam now that Cas and Hannah were gone. Sam is relieved that the angels have left and tries to put his legs down yelling "Dean please, I have to go!"

"Go? Go where?"

"Are you kidding me…to the bathroom!"

"Oh Sammy that what the diaper is for."

Sam stills at Dean's answer "you can't be serious?"

"I don't see what the problem is you've already used it once." Sam reddens at Dean's comment saying "that was an accident. I was mentally exhausted and in deep sleep, after weeks of sleep deprivation. I wasn't aware of it happening" through gritted teeth. "There's no way in hell I'm doing it on purpose! Now let me go Dean."

Dean readies himself for another challenge with Sam. He walks over to the armchair and settles down with Sam, comfortably seated across his lap.

Sam looks confused and he tries to get up but Dean holds him on place. "Dean please" Sam whispers feeling the pressure and pain start to build in his bladder.

"S'okay Sammy just relax" he says as he shifts Sam so he can rub his back in an effort to offer comfort. He knows that this will be hard for Sam.

Sam whimpers when he feels that he can't hold it in much longer. He squirms wanting so badly to get out of Dean's hold and run to the bathroom. "Is that too much to ask for?" he screams to himself as his grip tightens on Dean's shoulder trying to hold onto some small speck of dignity.

"I know it's hurting baby just let it go."

"No" Sam whispers softly but with pain "please Dean don't do this." Sam wants to fight Dean but any movement will make him explode. All he can do is try to cross his legs a bit longer.

"This is not healthy Sammy, you need to let go now, you can give yourself an infection."

Sam laughs through tears "you think? So how about you just let me go?" Dean sighs and re-adjusts Sam across his lap. Sam is hoping that Dean is going to let him go until he feels Dean's hand rub his lower abdomen gently but firmly. Sam's eyes widen and he tries to twist away.

"Dean stop!" Sam yelps but Dean just holds him in place with one hand and continues to massage Sam's tummy.

Sam feels tears of frustration building up as he struggles. "Damn okay. Maybe I shouldn't have neglected eating and working out I normally do" he promises whoever is listening out there to his prayers. He promises he'll eat good again, he'll sleep, he'll take better care of his mind body and soul "in return just please don't let him lose this one thing, please" he whispers silently in his mind.

He realizes it was for naught as he feels the first spurt break from his bladder. "Nooo" he moans softly to himself. As soon as he feels the first spurt it's a losing battle for him and he feels justified in holding and hitting Dean at the same time. "This is his fault" he reasons as he feels the jet of pee hiss out and filled the diaper. The pressure finally eases in his bladder and he feels instant relief but humiliation at the same time. His pounding fist on Dean shoulder also weakens. Finally realizing he has tears streaming down his face, he collapses in Dean's arms allowing his brother to shift him closer to cuddle and give him nonsensical soothing words.

"S'okay baby, such a good baby, you did so good" Dean speaks softly to Sam

Sam just cries into Dean not wanting him to let go, not wanting the comfort to end. He feels very vulnerable and embarrassed.

Dean just keeps rubbing his back and waiting for Sam's sobs to subside until he's hiccuping. He also notices that Sam is sucking on his thumb but doesn't bring it to his attention knowing it's a nervous habit that Sam had until he was 12. He'd mostly stopped but he knows that Sam still did it on occasion when he was stressed out and thought no one was looking or he'd unconsciously bite his thumb when a case stumped him.

Dean stands with Sam in his arms and walks over to the changing table. When he tries to put him down he's rewarded with a death grip on him. "Okay, no problem" Dean thinks. He walks over to the crib and reaches for the stuffed dog, an exact duplicate of the stuffed dog Sam had when he was a toddler. The one he'd lost in the fire at Sam and Jess apartment.

"Hey Sammy, wanna do me a favor?" Dean asks gently to Sam who is still hugging him tight. Sam just sniffles at Dean's question.

"Why don't you hold on to this for me?" Sam carefully turns his head to the side and sees what Dean is holding. He doesn't know why but he reaches for the dog and pulls it in close.

"Thank you" Dean tells him as they walk back over to the changing table. This time Dean is able to place Sam down on the changing table. Before Dean does anything else he pulls out one of the many pacifiers he has in one of the drawers and places it inside Sam's mouth without any fuss from Sam this time. He reaches up to Sam waist and pulls off his sweat pants. He undoes the wet diaper and pulls it off. Dean grabs one the baby wipes and proceeds to wipe his baby brother's bottom clean. Once he's completely satisfied that Sam is fully wiped down he grabs a fresh diaper and slips it under Sam. Next he grabs the baby ointment and spreads it over Sam privates and then sprinkles some baby powder lightly over too.

He pulls the front of the diaper up and secures it with the tabs making sure its snug and comfortable for Sammy with a quick check by running his fingers around the leg area of the diaper and adjusting it too. "Perfect" Dean thinks as he looks at Sam seeing him holding on tightly to the dog and sucking his pacifier. He's surprised to see Sammy staring at him instead of having his eyes closed.

Dean smiles at his baby brother "hey buddy ready to get some lunch?" Sam nods slowly. "Ok, let's get you into something comfortable" Dean reaches to remove the AC/DC black shirt Sam but Sam automatically hugs the shirt and looks at Dean with pleading eyes.

Dean chuckles a bit remembering that when Sam was little, he'd surround himself with comforts that represented home and love to him. Sometimes that meant Dean's shirts or one of their dad's older flannels.

"Okay, you can keep that on for now Sammy even if it's a little snug. Lets get some overalls on ya though" Dean says grabbing the jean overalls he had on the side. He pulls them on Sam who's completely docile as watches Dean the whole time. When Dean finally buttons the last strap, he helps Sam sit up and Sam looks down at the colorful train design on the front pocket of the overall. He reaches up to touch it gingerly and looks at Dean.

Dean smiles and reaches for Sam who automatically extends his arms towards Dean. Dean is surprised but happy. He picks Sam up and they head out of the nursery into the kitchen with no fuss from Sam. He sits him in the beige and blue cushion high chair, straps him and clicks the tray in.

Sam keeps hugging the stuff dog and sucking on his blue pacifier. Dean walks over to the fridge pulls out some bread, peanut butter and strawberry jelly to make Sam a sandwich which he cuts into triangles before placing it onto the plastic plate with stars and dividers. He grabs an already peeled and sliced apple plus some carrots sticks.

He places the plate on the tray and Sam looks at Dean as he reaches carefully to grab one of the small triangles. He pauses as he realizes he still has his pacifier in and looks up to Dean for help. Dean smiles and takes out the pacifier and places it on the tray next to Sam's plate.

Sam nibbles on the sandwich at first before placing the whole thing in his mouth realizing he's really hungry. "Thank God Dean made me two sandwiches" he thinks as he inhales the rest of his lunch.

To his dismay he hears Dean laugh a bit "well someone really has a big appetite." Sam blushes red remembering his current situation then he feels something damp cover his face. He blinks up to see Dean sighing when he sees that he has a wash cloth. He wipes the crumbs off Sam's lips before wiping Sam's hands.

Sam is a bit embarrassed because he realizes he did eat kind of messily, like some kind of messy toddler. He doesn't know what is going on in his head anymore and the more he tries to think the more his brain just wants to shut down. He reminds himself he's just too tired to fight right now. He feels like he's in a daze and has done since Dean made him use the diaper. He feels ashamed at the memory, not because Dean forced him to use it, but because afterward a part of him felt content to just let go and let Dean take care of him like he was a… a.. an infant. He can feel this side of him bubbling under the surface so happy to have Dean hold him, take care of him, clean and change him and take all his worries away. It made him feel so good and relaxed no tension in him what so ever.

Dean breaks Sam from his thoughts "hey Sammy, how about you finish your juice and then we can go to the living room for some downtime?"

Sam looks down and sees another sippy cup. This one looks even more infantile than the last. "Please Dean" Sam whispers.

"What sweetheart?" Dean's voice sounds concerned.

"Di'fent cup" Sam mumbles.

Dean smiles at Sam's cute vocabulary, "Sammy, no, just finish your apple juice and then we can head over to the living room" Dean gently chides him.

Sam scowls at Dean. "Great, fine" he thinks "so maybe I shouldn't complain since wasn't I was just sucking on the pacifier a few moments ago. That was different though" he thinks "because I just wanted the whole diaper fiasco forgotten and what better way to move it along faster than to just going along with it?"

Sam takes a deep breath and reaches for the stupid cup "huh" he wonders "where did Dean find such a large sippy cup for my hand to be able to hold easily?" As he lifts it towards his mouth he stops and blinks, "duh" he thinks, "it's big enough for me to hold", he drops the dog and reaches with his other hand to untwist the top so he can drink it like a regular cup. Sam smiles to himself "point one win for me".

Dean sighs as he watches Sam trying to untwist the top from the cup, "the key word is try" Dean thinks "Sam is about to get a surprise". Sam gives a quick twist to the top only to notice it doesn't twist. He grips tighter and tries again only he gets the same result.

"It shouldn't be this hard" Sam thinks, then he sees Dean looking at him arms crossed in front of his chest. Sam narrows his eyes putting two and two together.

"What did you do to the cup" Sam asks angrily.

"I didn't do anything to it" Dean reaches for the cup and untwists it easily "see" he says. He twists it shut before handing it back to Sam who tries again and fails.

"You obviously did something to it" Sam yells now clearly upset "otherwise I should be able to untwist it. I know I'm not that weak" he finishes sullenly.

"It's been baby proofed" Dean answers looking at Sam's sullen look.

"What" he looks confused.

"After the stunt you pulled, which could have gotten you hurt had Cas and Hannah not been close by, they went ahead and baby proof the whole bunker."

"Baby proof the whole…wait…wait. They cast some angel mojo spell so that what ….I can't uh unlock door or something?"

"Something like that" Dean shrugs.

"Something like that!" Sam voice is incredulous "so now what, you guys are planning keeping prisoner here?"

"No, they are making sure you don't get hurt while you are on the mend" Dean says.

"By locking down the whole bunker against me!?"

"No, by baby proofing the whole bunker" Dean repeats carefully. Sam's expression is confused.

"That means anything like cabinets, drawers, doors and thing any normal toddler can get into mischief or hurt with" Dean further explains to Sam.

Sam looks above as if asking for strength "okay how can me untwisting a stupid juice cap be dangerous?" Sam asks between his teeth.

"Untwisting any cap like medicine or thing with smaller caps can get swallowed easily" Dean explains matter of fact.

"So the spell is just general? How comes it doesn't affect you opening up the cap?" Sam asks brows furrowed.

"No, the spell is designed to detect any child-like/innocent entity or presence" Dean smiles.

"That doesn't make sense!" Sam yells ending in a huff.

"Sure it does Sammy" Dean smiles "just don't think on it too hard" he teases Sam.

"You're a jerk" Sam huffs.

"Wee bitch" Dean replies automatically "lets get you settled in the living room. You might enjoy your juice while watching a movie?"

Dean removs the tray and unstraps Sam from the high chair. He lifts Sam up and they walk to the living room. He sits Sam on the couch and walks over the TV to turn it on. He grabs one of the nearby DVDs and puts it on. Sam watches as the title comes on his eyes going round. "Dean you've got to be kidding me, a Disney Movie?!"

"Yeah, thought you might want to sit back and relax to something lighter."

"I thought our definition of light is when you wanted to watched a monster genre Godzilla movie" Sam replies.

"Well this is more kid friendly."

"DUDE! You and Dad were always watching slashed horror movies since I was 8!"

"Yeah and I remember me and dad paid the price when you'd wake up screaming with nightmares and more later when you found out monster were real. Let's just say it wasn't one of our prouder moments" Dean smiles ruefully.

"Okay, I get that but we never did kid movies" Sam grouses.

"Well now we do."

"By the way what the hell is this?" Sam's face is scrunched up starting at the screen.

"What was that Sammy?"

Sam looks at Dean wondering if he's deaf "What. The. Hell. Is. This." Sam says slower enunciating carefully.

Dean crosses his arms and looks at Sam "is there a better way to ask Sammy?"

"What da fuck is wrong with Dean" Sam thinks but then he sees Dean's eyes narrow. Dean relaxes and sighs deciding to let that thought slip since Sam didn't say it out loud and by the looks of it Sam's not getting it.

"Sam if I was proud of one thing it was your politeness at a very young age. You minded your 'please' and 'thank you's' without being prompted. We made sure that you never swore up until you were 16 and then Dad and I barely tolerated it when you did" Dean reminded Sam.

Sam's raises his eye brows at Dean then realizes with a sinking feeling what Dean was hinting at. Sam's face reddens with embarrassment and anger. It's outrageous Dean thinks his language needs to be curbed, look who is talking!

"This is bull shit Dean!" Sam explodes but regrets it the instead the words leave his mouth.

Dean strides over to him in three steps, grabs Sam by the arm pulling him up to deliver one swat to his diaper and denim covered bottom. Sam doesn't know why it didn't hurt, but he sniffs nonetheless and looks down at the ground. "What was wrong with me?" he thinks. He felt…he felt…God he doesn't know what he felt but he didn't like it. There is a tightness in his chest and there's hotness on his skin meaning he's red in the face. Then he feels Dean's hand on his chin.

"I understand that this is new to you and you think it's not fair but as a kid you never once swore and as of now you will not do it again. I know I was not the best role model in that regard but if you recall I didn't tolerate it then and I will not tolerate it now. Do you understand?"

"Yes Dean" Sam whispers his eyes watering a bit.

"Good" Dean smiles "now c'mere" he pulls Sam gently down with him as he sits on the couch and has Sam nestle next to him. Dean put his arm around Sam's shoulders and pulls him closer.

Sam rests his head on Dean's chest and sniffles a bit but then feels Dean's hand massage his head. He begins to relax a bit looking down at his other hand he notices he is still holding the sippy cup. He automatically brings it to his lips and almost drops again but then opens his mouth to take a small sip realizing how thirsty he is. He puts the whole top into his mouth and takes a full gulp. He carefully looks up at Dean through his bangs and notices Dean watching the TV, not glancing down or smirking in triumph.

Sam sighs and finally nestles closer and fully relaxes. "Ok" he thinks "this is not so bad, its almost like our usual movie nights but without the rated version of movies we tend to watch." Of course they are usually 8 or 9 o'clock at night not 2 o'clock in the afternoon. They were both in their usual spot, or rather they'd start at either end of the couch but by the time the movie ended Sam would be close to Dean leaning on his shoulder he'd have his head on Dean's lap asleep. Not much different now, except that they are already close together. He looks at the screen and notices a blue character jumping around trying to avoid laser hitting it? He realizes it looks interesting and has a kind of sci-fi theme to it. "I can get on board with this" he thinks. "Oh looks like it stole a ship and the other aliens on the spaceship don't look too happy" he muses taking another sip from his cup, this time leaving it in his mouth as he puts his full attention on the movie.

Dean feels the moment Sam relaxes and starts to enjoy the movie and he glances quickly down to see Sammy drinking from his cup with no more complaint. He smiles inwardly and feels warm and contend as he leans back further into the couch and settles in for a comfortable hour and half with Sam in his arms.

At 3.30pm when the movie finishes and it's time for Sammy to take his second nap. Dean looks down at Sam to find him yawning and his juice is finished. He should have put him down at 3pm but this is new for him too trying to get Sammy on a schedule. In the past he would have no problem figuring this out. It's been awhile but he can see himself easily fit back into that pattern. He passes his hand through Sammy's hair as he thinks tomorrow will be a better day for both of them. He'll write the schedule down tonight and will keep to it until Sam is used to it.

He looks down at Sam again and notices him looking up owlishly through blinking eyes.

"Okay baby, someone is ready for his afternoon nap" Dean says getting up picking Sammy up with him. Sam settles his head on Dean's shoulder and wraps his arms around Dean. They walk through the kitchen and stop by the fridge. The door automatically opens and Dean reaches for the pre-made bottle of milk with one hand. He holds the bottle in his hand and feels as it warms up to the right temperature.

He walks into Sammy's room and settles down with Sam in the arm chair. He nestles his brother against his chest and gently lowers the bottle to his brother's mouth.

Sammy purses his lips for a second but then relents and allows Dean to slip the rubber teat into his mouth. He begins suckling right away and looks at Dean as he drinks realizing his hand is over Dean's on the bottle. He doesn't know why but he finds it comforting. He keeps flexing his fingers around Dean's hand and Dean chuckles quietly enjoying the moment watching his baby brother with love and tenderness.

Slowly Sam's eyes start to close and his hand lays lax against Dean's. When Sam finishes the bottle Dean gently pulls it out and lift him up to lay his head over his shoulder. He gently pats Sam's back after five minutes Sam lets out a burp. Sam snuffles a bit and then goes back to sleep.

Dean gets up and walks over to Sammy's crib and puts him tummy down. This time he doesn't forget Sammy's pacifier and decides on a new hoping that it will distract his brother when he wakes so he won't be so fussy. He grabs a clear blue pacifier that has low colorful lights that blink on and off in a pattern.

He watched Sam a moment longer and realizes he left the doggy in the high chair. He snaps his fingers and the dog is now next to Sam. "There that should keep him happy when he wakes up" Dean smiles to himself. He pauses for a second and snaps his fingers a second time making two small slim black padlocks appear at either end of the crib's rails.

"There" Dean thinks "if Sam pushes the buttons again the crib won't lower down 'cause the padlocks are in place to keep him from doing that. That should keep Sam safe and wait for me to come to get him out."

Dean needs to get back to the library and finish the research he promised Cas. He found the spell that Metatron used to close Heaven's gates and what he did with Cas's grace. Dean cracks his neck and heads out of the nursery. He knows Cas will be back at 8pm when Sam has been put down for the night. After the news he gives to Cas most likely he will be rearing to go and see for himself. Maybe he can get Hannah to baby sit while he and Cas go see the gates of Heaven together. All they will be able to do is look, they can't do anything else. That part will be hard part to tell Castiel because unless they know of an archangel still around Cas will not be able to get his grace back.

Of course it will be a difficult journey and they may not get a break but, he smiles for the first time, they might if the rumors he heard underground are true. Only one way to find out. Dean rubs his hands excitedly. Time to get to work. How does one summon an old Hindu goddess-he smirks- not a problem for a Knight of Hell.

TBC