Chapter 7 Looking through the Pages

"No! I never did it!" Claire yelled. Allison had brought up a sex related subject which made me really uncomfortable. I ended holding on tightly to John without meaning to. He didn't seem to mind as he held on to me. There were a few seconds of silence after Claire admitted she has never done it.

"I never did it either." Allison said breaking the silence. "I'm not a nymphomaniac, I'm a compulsive liar." Claire glared at her.

"You are such a bitch! You did that on purpose just to fuck me over!" She said full of anger. "I can't believe you. You're so weird. You don't say anything all day and then when you open your mouth, you unload all these tremendous lies all over me!"

"Calm down princess." I said. She looked over at me. "You're just pissed off because she got you to admit something you didn't want to admit to." Claire let out a sigh.

"Ok, fine, but that doesn't make it any less bizarre." She replies.

"What's bizarre?" Andrew jumped in. "I mean, we're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that's all."

"How are you bizarre?" Claire asked. I sat up at this.

"He can't think for himself." Allison answered. Andrew nodded.

"She's right." He said. "Do you what I did to get in here? I taped Larry Lester's buns together." I bit my lip to keep my laughter.

"That was you?" Brian asked.

"Yeah, you know him?"

"Yeah I know him."

"Well then you know how hairy he is, right? Well, when they pulled the tape off, most of his hair came off and some, some skin too." I winced when I heard that.

"Oh my God." Claire said.

"And the bizarre thing is, is that I did it for my old man." He continued. "I tortured this poor kid, because I wanted him to think that I was cool. He's always going off about, you know, when he was in school all the wild things he used to do. And I got the feeling that he was disappointed that I never cut loose on anyone, right. So, I'm-I'm sitting in the locker room, and I'm taping up my knee. And Larry's undressing a couple lockers down from me. Yeah...he's kinda... he's kinda skinny, weak. And I started thinking about my father, and his attitude about weakness. And the next thing I knew, I uh, I jumped on top of him and started wailing on him...And my friends, they just laughed and cheered me on. And afterwards, when I was sittin' in Vernon's office, all I could think about was Larry's father. And Larry havin' to go home and...and explain what happened to him. And the humiliation...fucking humiliation he mustuv felt. It mustuv been unreal...I mean," He stopped for a minute as he started crying.

"I mean, how do you apologize for something like that? There's no way...it's all because of me and my old man. Oh God, I fucking hate him! He's like this...he's like this mindless machine that I can't even relate to anymore...You son of a bitch! You know, sometimes, I wish my knee would give...and I wouldn't be able to wrestle anymore. And he could forget all about me." He broke down right there. I looked down. I've never seen a guy cry like this. I almost felt bad to be witnissing this.

"I think your old man and my old man should get together and go bowling." John said. I looked up at Andrew, expecting a glare. Instead, he chuckled which made me smile a little.

"It's like me, you know, with my grades...like, when I, when I step outside myself kinda, and when I, when I look in at myself you know? And I see me and I don't like what I see, I really don't." Brian said.

"What's wrong with you? Why don't you like yourself?" Claire asked.

"'Cause I'm stupid...'cause I'm failing shop. See we had this assignment, to make this ceramic elephant, and um...and we had eight weeks to do it and we're s'posed ta, and it was like a lamp, and when you pull the trunk the light was s'posed to go on...my light didn't go on, I got a F on it. Never got a F in my life... When I signed up, you know, for the course I mean. I thought I was playing it real smart, you know. 'Cause I thought, I'll take shop, it'll be such an easy way to maintain my grade point average." He replied. I could never relate to this. I get bad grades a lot but I never cared. For Brian, it could mean a lot since he's the smartest one in our grade.

"Why'd you think it'd be easy?" John asked.

"Have you seen some of the dopes that take shop?" Brian asked.

"I take shop. You must be a fuckin' idiot."

"I'm a fucking idiot because I can't make a lamp?"

"No, you're a genius because you can't make a lamp." I wasn't sure it that was supposed to be a compliment or and insult.

"What do you know Trigonometry?"

"I could care less about Trigonometry." Doesn't surprise me there. "Bender, did you know without Trigonometry there'd be no engineering?"

"Without lamps, there'd be no light." There was a short pause between them.

"Ok so neither one of you ia any better than the other one." Claire said.

"I can write with my toes." Allison said. "I can also eat, brush my teeth..."

"With your feet?" Claire asked.

"...play Heart and Soul on the piano." Allison finished.

"I can make spaghetti." Brian said. Claire faces me.

"What can you do Elena?" She asked me. I noticed from the corner of my eye John glanced at me.

"Well, I can sing pretty good though I always do it alone so I don't know." I replied.

"Why don't you show us?"Andrew asked. I felt my face go hot.

"I just said that I do it alone. I don't plan to sing in front of people anytime soon." I said.

"Bummer." John said. "I would've loved to to hear you." I held my head in annoyance.

"And you Andy?" Claire asked. We all turned to Andrew.

"I can, uh, tape all your buns together." He said. I wasn't sure if he was joking or not.

"I wanna see what Claire can do!" John suddenly said. We all faced Claire.

"I can't do anything." She said.

"Now, everybody can do something."

"Well, there's one thing I can do... no forget it, it's way too embarrassing."

"You ever seen Wild Kingdom? I mean that guy's been doing that show for thirty years." I had to admit, I was starting to get curious. Claire let out a sigh.

"Ok, but you have to swear to God you won't laugh. I can't believe I'm actually doing this." She then takes her lipstick out, opens it, and puts it in between her breasts. She the begins applying it from her cleavage. When she lifts her head, it was applied perfectly. Everyone was clapping except for me. It wasn't really that great or surprising. I noticed that John's was slow and sarcastic.

"All right, great! Where'd you learn to do that?" Andrew asked.

"Camp, 7th grade." Claire replied. It was then she noticed John's clapping.

"That was great Claire. My image of you is totally blown." He said. Claire looked hurt.

"You're a shit! Don't do thst to her. You swore to God you wouldn't laugh." Allison said.

"Am I laughing?"

"You fucking prick!" Andrew yelled. John stares intently at him.

"What do you care what I think, anyway? I don't even count, right? I could disappear forever and it wouldn't make any difference. I may as well not even exist at this school, remember?" He said. I felt his grip on my tighten a little. I squeezed back slightly to calm him down. He turned to Claire. "And you don't like me anyway."

"You know, I have just as many feelings as you do and it hurts just as much when somebody steps all over them!" She said with tears in her eyes.

"God, you're so pathetic!" John said. "Don't you ever, EVER compare yourself to me ok? You got everything and I got shit! Fucking Rapunzel right? School would probably fucking shut down if you didn't show up. 'Queenie isn't here!'" He paused for a second. "I like those earrings Claire."

"Shut up." She said quietly.

"Are those real diamonds Claire?"

"Shut up!"

"I bet they are. Did you work for the money for those earrings..."

"Shut your mouth!"

"Or did daddy buy those?"

"SHUT UP!" Tears start streaming down her face. I had to admit, this was a bit much but I didn't know what to do.

"I bet he bought those for you. I bet those are a Christmas gift, right? You know what I got for Christmas this year? It was a banner fuckin' year at the old Bender family! I got a carton of cigarettes. The old man grabbed me and said 'Hey! Smoke up Johnny!' Okay, so go home'n cry to your daddy, don't cry here, okay?" There was a long pause between all of use. I looked down, thinking of a way to get out of this as it was feeling awkward.

"My God, are we gonna be like our parents?" Brian said breaking the silence. I grimaced at this.

"Not me. Ever" Claire said. I nodded at this.

"I will never be like my mother." I said softly.

"It's unavoidable. It just happens." Allison says.

"What happens?" Claire asks.

"When you grow up, your heart dies." She replied.

"Who cares?" John says. I look up at him sincerly.

"I care." I said. He smiled and gave me a small kiss on my forehead.

"Glad to hear that." He said. I smile back him.

*Sorry i took so long with this. i had weiters block and i had to deal with something at home. ill try to upload the next chapter as soon as possible*