Author's Note: Hello all! I hope you have been all enjoying your winter holidays and sticking to your New Years Resolutions so far! Just an update, I am currently working on Chapter 12 of this story and I am trying to make it so that this story finishes at twenty chapters, twenty-five at the absolute latest. I have a fairly solid outline of the story though and am confident I will not exceed that number. That being said, there is definitely room for ideas or things you might like to see in this story, I am pretty open to suggestions unless they conflict with something I already have planned. Just throwing that out there.
For now, Enjoy!
oOo
Remus stared up at the horizon as he stood at the beach, Bill at his side. It was going to be a cold night, but Bill and Fleur were talented enough at spells that he was sure their warming charms would hold throughout the night.
It was a full moon and soon the sun would set, and if he was not mistaken Fleur and Luna were already making their way down to the beach. One quick glance over his shoulder confirmed that the two women were indeed coming down, Fleur dressed in boots and a warm jacket while Luna shivered in her bathrobe, her trembling not pausing until she was within the warmth of the wards.
Bill clasped Remus' shoulder in good luck before going to hug Luna after Fleur did and then joining his wife back to the Cottage.
Remus turned to the younger girl, trying to ignore the fact that she looked somewhat small in her large fluffy bathrobe.
"You ready," Remus asked her.
Luna nodded, a slight smile on her pale pink lips. "I'm ready. I'm not as scared now."
Remus was pleased to know that, knowing her well enough now to tell that she was being honest. He knew that despite the pain of the transformation she enjoyed being in wolf form. It still astounded Remus how comfortable Luna was with it all. It had taken him years to be comfortable in his wolf form, even after he began taking Wolfsbane. It was even more years after that that he was able to form a semi-acceptance of the wolf's constant presence at the back of his mind.
Remus was distracted momentarily by his thoughts when he realized the sun had nearly fully set and he was beginning to feel the moon's pull. Out of old habit, Remus momentarily forgot he was still in Luna's presence and pulled his shirt off in preparation for the transformation.
He nearly didn't catch the slight intake of breath Luna made, but he certainly could not mistake the smell.
Arousal.
Remus slowly turned to look at Luna and felt his heart drop at the way she was staring at him. She held herself absolutely still, but her pale pink lips were slightly parted and somewhat wet, as if she had just dabbed her bottom lip with her tongue. Her pupils were dilated, more than he had ever seen them.
The arousal was coming from her, it was unmistakable with its slight scent of eucalyptus unique to Luna, and it had occurred the moment Remus had taken off his shirt in her presence.
Luna was attracted to him.
He didn't think Luna herself was even aware of her own arousal, which left Remus in the predicament of whether or not he should say anything, but before he could really consider it, the moon's pull had gotten stronger and he could feel his bones beginning to crack with the beginning of the transformation.
oOo
Remus woke suddenly, as if he just had a bad dream.
"Remus."
Remus bit back his groan and opened his eyes to see Luna sitting nearby.
Remus' heart stopped as he was momentarily transfixed by the sight before him.
Luna sat with her arms hugging her knees pressed close to her chest. She was angled with only her side to him. Her position made it so that while she was clearly completely naked, he could see nothing of her breasts or other parts, that white-blonde hair of hers long and wild enough to hide everything so that he could only admire the curve of her legs and spine, and the arch of her arm.
And her face. How could he not stare into that lovely face of hers as she stared down at him, her eyes big and round above that pert nose and soft lips. The sun had already begun to rise behind her and the paleness of her skin and hair made her positively glow.
Despite her nakedness and the way she held herself, Remus could see Luna was comfortable in her own skin, unlike how he imagined most girls her age to be.
Luna smiled softly at him and Remus was sure his mouth had gone dry at the sight. When he felt his cock twitch he was embarrassingly reminded of his own nakedness and quickly sat up, crossing his legs and holding his hands over his lap to cover himself. Remus remained absolutely still and did not breathe until Luna said quietly, "Good morning."
Remus wasn't sure if he was mistaken but he was almost sure her voice had held a teasing tilt to it.
"Morning," Remus responded gruffly out of politeness.
They waited quietly for Bill and Fleur to come down with an extra set of clothes.
oOo
She's attracted to you. She wants you.
She doesn't know what she wants. She's young. I'm sure she just isn't used to seeing a man with his shirt off.
You want her.
Remus growled, wishing not for the first time that his condition truly only affected him once a month and that he didn't have to deal with this wolf in his head who bullied him.
His wolf was right though, and he recalled his realization at the dining table at Shell Cottage the morning after the full moon a few days ago as he ate his breakfast prepared by Bill and Fleur.
As he ate he would look over at Luna who would look away with a blush on her cheeks and he would realize that she had been sneaking glances at him. It was as he ate that he realized this wasn't the first time he had noticed.
All last month he had noticed how much more affectionate Luna had been with him. She let her eyes drift to and linger on him more often, she had placed her hand on him more, a gesture he had mistaken as casual and friendly. She smiled more in his presence, not that she hadn't before, but it seemed more deliberate now.
Not to mention the sweet smell of her arousal.
The possibility that perhaps Luna was attracted to him was slowly beginning to dawn on Remus, and he was unsure of what to do with that information.
oOo
"A dinner, here," Luna asked after Fleur had announced her idea to throw a small get-together at Shell Cottage with all the Weasley's as well as a few others.
"I know it's quite small, but there are charms to magically expand the house for a few hours. Besides, I thought it might be nice to give Mrs. Weasley a break and have dinner here," Fleur explained.
Luna nodded thinking it'd be a nice change to have everyone at Shell Cottage rather than at their usual choice of residence at The Burrow.
Remus would be at dinner, of that she was sure, and she was eager to see him.
Remus hadn't been around as often as he usually was, and of course Luna had noticed. Usually, Luna would be annoyed with that fact, thinking that perhaps he was avoiding her, especially after what had happened the night of the full moon.
It had taken Luna a day, but finally she had realized why Remus had acted so strange the morning after the full moon. When it dawned on her that Remus must have sensed how attracted she was to him when he pulled his shirt off, she had been racked with shame and embarrassment that Remus had had to find out that way. He must have been horrified. She had dreaded seeing him ever again, but that quickly changed the next time Remus had stopped by Shell Cottage.
Luna noted the slight blush on his cheeks when he saw her and she noted the way his eyes glanced at her much the way she did to him. He noticed how sweet he looked when he smiled at her, and how he seemed to enjoy her closeness almost as much as she did his.
Luna tried not to delude herself into thinking that Remus felt for her the way she did him, but the thought was incredibly difficult to ignore.
oOo
Remus sat on a chair in Shell Cottage's living room conversing amicably with Harry and Ron Weasley, all three holding a glass of elvish wine.
It was not lost on Remus how strange it was to be sitting here with these young men who had not so long ago been underage and his students, and how he was now sharing drinks with them. He enjoyed this new chapter in their lives though. It felt like gaining many more friends rather than awkwardly trying to make conversation with students.
The entire atmosphere at Shell Cottage was cheerful. It seemed that getting everyone out of The Burrow was doing wonders for everyone's spirits. The new location and the small coziness of it forced everyone to stand or sit close together, the sounds of multiple conversations going on at once brimming to the top in every room of the small cottage, but it was all good. Remus couldn't help but think that the atmosphere was somewhat reminiscent of Christmas holiday.
Remus felt his eyes drift over to a certain blonde in the crowd, as his eyes had tended to do so all night long.
She looked lovely in the flowy lavender dress she was wearing as she stood on the other end of the room, conversing with George Weasley who was looking well also. Remus only had eyes for Luna however, admiring the silver dangly earrings she was wearing, exposed due to how Luna had raise the top half of her hair into a ponytail. He quite liked that hairstyle on her, and was thinking about how he would very much like to run his hands through it when her eyes caught his gaze.
Luna smiled brilliantly at him, a small twinkle in her cerulean eyes that he had noticed as of late was reserved specifically for him. He couldn't help but shoot her a grin before Luna was distracted by something George had said.
Remus liked to think he was old enough at this point to know when a woman was attracted to him, and he could say with certainty that Luna Lovegood fancied him. The thought was both a pleasing and dangerous one. Luna fancied him and it was a fact that he did not think he could ignore any longer just as he could no longer ignore the way Luna's eyes always sought him out, how her touch lingered when she hugged him in greeting or goodbye, how she always seemed to gravitate closer to him, and of course how her eyes twinkled whenever they met with his.
He knew Luna fancied him, and while it was obvious to him, he was yet uncertain if anyone else had noticed. What worried him was whether or not anyone else could tell how much he fancied the younger girl as well, especially Luna herself. He was finding it extremely difficult not giving his feelings away, especially whenever Luna looked at him the way she just had...the way she was looking at him right now...again.
Remus could feel his chest warm under her gaze but she was luckily distracted once again, only this time it was by Bill.
"Everybody, everybody, could you lend me your ears please," Bill was saying, standing from the couch where he had been conversing with Fleur, Molly, and Arthur.
"I'm afraid I can only lend one, mate," George said raising his glass to his brother, and Remus couldn't help but think about how far George had come if he was making jokes.
Bill laughed and continued on, "Well, first off we wanted to thank everyone for turning out tonight. We know the space is small, but it's nice having all our loved ones squeezed into one place."
Fleur smiled encouragingly at Bill who nodded and continued on more solemnly, "It's been a difficult year, for everyone. We've all worked to defeat a great evil, and we wouldn't even be here if it weren't for Harry. We've lost so much to the fight and we've worked so hard to stay sane. We've gone through so much, but I'm proud to be a Weasley, and I'm proud to stand here surrounded by everyone I love. We both are."
Everyone in the room remained silent for a moment, in respect to the words Bill had spoken. Remus was just beginning to wonder where his friend was going with all this when Bill then smiled down at Fleur, offering her his hand. Fleur smiled beautifully and accepted it, standing by Bill's side and allowing him to wrap his arm around her waist as she continued his speech, "What Bill is trying to say is that despite everything we have all gone through, there is only happiness to look for in our futures, together. We care deeply for each and every one of you, which is why we have gathered you all here together so that we can share with you the big news."
Everyone stared at each other in a confused way, and just as a few were on the brink of guessing what the big news could possibly be, Bill practically shouted the announcement, "Fleur's pregnant!"
There was a moment of silence before the entire room exploded with noise and commotion. Arthur and Molly sprang out of their seats, Molly bursting into happy tears and wrapping her arms around Fleur while Arthur clasped Bill in a fatherly embrace, staring down at his eldest with pride in his eyes. Charlie, George, and a few of Bill's friends who had been invited wolf-whistled and made lewd jokes, all in good fun of course. Hermione, Ginny, and Fleur's French friends squealed in excitement. Remus alongside Ron and Harry cheered happily, raising their glasses in salute. Luna clapped happily, jumping slightly where she stood.
"Congratulations mate," Remus murmured to Bill as they hugged when it was his turn to congratulate the couple. Remus then turned to hold Fleur gently in his arms, "You'll make a lovely mother Fleur."
"Thank you Remus," Fleur hummed sincerely, kissing his cheek.
The festivities went on much longer into the night than Remus expected it would have done had Bill and Fleur's pregnancy announcement not been made.
Fleur retired early as she was very tired and once she did that, slowly people began to filter out of Shell Cottage. On instinct Remus found himself cleaning up after people, knowing that Bill and Fleur still had work the next day. Molly was the last to leave, the Weasley matriarch making Remus promise to let him know if he needed any food sent over before she finally left.
Remus laughed to himself quietly when he heard noise in the kitchen. He'd been sure that Molly had been the last to leave, and as he entered the kitchen he realized it was Luna humming quietly to herself as she washed dishes the Muggle way.
Remus paused, having thought Luna had gone up to bed hours ago.
"Well, are you going to stand there or are you going to help," Luna teased quietly.
Remus started a little at her comment, not used to Luna speaking with him so teasingly, but then reminding himself that they had become familiar with each other over the past two months.
Very familiar, indeed.
Remus hushed the voice and stepped further into the room, pushing his shirt sleeves up to his elbows to take over the washing portion of dishes to allow Luna to dry. Remus kept his attention focused on the dishes rather on the smile and twinkling eyes he knew Luna was gracing him with.
"It's been a lovely night, hasn't it," Luna commented lightly.
Remus relaxed at this, nodding quietly in agreement, "That it has, probably one of the nicest nights this family has had in far too long."
"I'm so happy for Bill and Fleur. They'll make great parents. Their baby will be very loved."
"The most loved," Remus corrected, thinking of how happy the Weasley clan had been upon hearing the news.
"I suppose I'll start looking for a job soon," Luna sighed.
Remus frowned, "A job?"
Luna nodded, "Well yes. I would guess with Fleur being pregnant, she'll be taking time off work soon. I'm already such a burden to Bill and Fleur with both of them working. I want to begin contributing, as a thank you for all that they have done for me."
Remus could feel something panicking in himself, though he wasn't sure why, "Luna you know Bill and Fleur are more than happy to be hosting you here."
"I know," Luna shrugged. "Still, I was planning to find a job soon anyway. Just enough to start saving."
"Saving? Saving for what?"
"Well to move out of course!"
"Move out," Remus practically shouted and winced at the creak he felt in his neck from turning so sharply.
Luna laughed lightly. "Surely you didn't think I expected Bill and Fleur to support me to forever did you?"
Remus gaped, not knowing how to respond to that.
Luna, leave Shell Cottage? Logically Remus knew Luna was right, yet for some reason the news still came as a shock to him.
Remus stared into Luna's smiling eyes, the girl completely unaware of the turmoil racing through Remus's brain. She didn't know how Remus was struggling to come to terms with the fact that if Luna left Shell Cottage, he would see much less of her. She didn't know that if she left, Remus would have to go out of his way to see her, he would have to actively seek her out if he wanted to continue to see her, and doing that would mean admitting to himself that he wanted to see her. It would mean putting himself in a position where he couldn't just pretend to avoid her and still see her. He would have to go out of his way to see her and she would know, she would know that he wanted to see her too.
Remus was going crazy in his mind and all Luna could do was stand there smelling delicious and looking beautiful and smiling at him as if nothing at all was wrong with the world and all Remus wanted to do was wipe that smile off her face.
So he kissed her.
Before Remus knew what he was doing, he had lowered his lips to Luna's and they were as soft and warm as he had ever imagined. His nose brushed against hers and he could feel her eyelashes tickling his cheekbone. She smelled like jam and chocolate and he wanted to stay here forever, in the warmth of Shell Cottage with his cheek pressed against Luna Lovegood's.
But he couldn't, he knew he couldn't.
Before he could even allow Luna a chance to respond, before he could allow Luna to pull away in disgust, or Merlin forbid return his kiss, Remus had stepped away from her lips and stared back at the wet and soapy dish he still held in his hands.
Remus could feel his face burning up, and he was acutely aware of how fast Luna's heart was hammering in her chest.
"Remus," Luna whispered quietly.
Before she could say more, Remus quietly muttered that he should go and walked as quickly as he could out of Shell Cottage before aparating away, the unwashed plate still gripped tightly in his hands.
oOo
Luna blinked as Professor Flitwick announced that the time given for the exam had run out. Luna felt her stomach drop as she looked down at her empty parchment, so distracted had she been that she couldn't even finish the assignment. So helpless did she feel that she couldn't even gather the motivation to try and explain herself to Professor Flitwick, instead only looking down at her feet shamefully as she turned her parchment in and hoping he wouldn't think too little of her.
Luna gathered her things and slowly began the long walk to the castle gates where she could apparate back to Shell Cottage, not in the mood to spend time with her friends today.
It had been a week since the party at Shell Cottage. A week since Remus had kissed her.
Luna sighed quietly at the memory of it, wishing that she'd had enough sense to kiss him back. Had she known that Remus would proceed to avoid her all the next week and not return her owls, she would have taken advantage of the kiss and returned it the moment his lips touched hers, if only to completely encapsulate every millisecond that Remus Lupin's lips had been on hers into her memory for the rest of eternity.
Luna had gone to sleep feeling warmer and happier than she had felt in so long. That night she had dreamed of running on the beach and a figure with fresh morning air and warm lips that tasted faintly of elvish wine. She'd gone to bed thinking happily of what the future might hold for her and Remus now that she knew with certainty that he fancied her back.
She should have known better though.
Luna had gone to bed knowing that Remus storming out of Shell Cottage wasn't exactly the reaction she expected after sharing a kiss with the man. However, she also knew that Remus was always hesitant with her, always slower to reveal how he truly felt. She had thought that maybe he just needed some time to gather himself.
But it had been a week already, and not only had Remus completely avoided Shell Cottage, he'd also ignored Luna's owls.
It hurt more than she wanted to admit.
She wasn't sure what she was going to do in just a few days when it was time for the full moon.
Potion.
Luna groaned remembering and turned back around to Professor Slughorn's office to pick up her monthly Wolfsbane. Slughorn was a lot more talkative than she preferred but finally she got her hands on the potion and began making her way once again to the castle gates.
It was as she turned the corner that she crashed into the man who had plaguing her thoughts for over a week.
"Remus," Luna gasped, staring up at the older man, who seemed just as surprised to be running into her.
"Luna." She could have sworn he groaned when he said her name.
Luna was sure Remus' face wasn't always nearly so white. He looked for the life of him like he wished he could have run into anyone else but her.
"What are you doing here?"
Remus only motioned to the potion she held in her hands and Luna realized he must be there to pick up his own potion from Professor Slughorn.
Luna frowned, rubbing her forearm nervously as the two stood in awkward silence. Luna wanted him to offer if not an apology, then at the very least some sort of explanation for why he had been avoiding her for all this time. She wanted to hear it, but it seemed Remus had no such explanation or apology, as he could only stare at her with his hands set stiffly in his pockets and his face looking more pained than usual.
Luna searched his eyes, willing them to look at her but they did not. He stood so cold and distant despite the fact he stood so close. It was becoming painfully clear that he was going to say nothing more to her, and she needed to leave before he noticed the tears gathering in her eyes.
Luna gripped the potion in her hand and slowly looked to the floor and began to brush past him.
She did not go more than ten steps before she had whirled around and blurted, "I like you."
"Luna," Remus frowned, looking clearly uncomfortable, but Luna was done being considerate of Remus' nature. She was done pretending and she was done keeping quiet about how she felt. Her father had raised her to be free with her emotions, and while she could recognize that Remus liked to keep his feelings close to his chest, she didn't have the patience to continue going at the pace that he would if she let him.
"I like you Remus, I like you and I think you like me to. You wouldn't have kissed me otherwise."
"It was a mistake," Remus pleaded with her.
Luna shook her head, "You're lying. I've seen the way you look at me."
Remus looked away, as if to hide how he felt, and Luna could feel her heart melt at how hard he tried to restrain himself. Luna sighed and stepped closer to him, speaking more quietly, "You're attracted to me, and I'm attracted to you, so why aren't we doing anything about it?"
"Because it's wrong," Remus said then, his eyes meeting hers.
"Why? Because I'm a few years younger than you? Because you're a werewolf? Remus you should know me well enough by now to know I don't care about that!"
Remus exploded then, "Well you should care Luna! Things may have changed after the war but there will always be prejudice. I have nothing to offer you! And one werewolf being with another isn't going to help you at all in the long-run. You have no idea what it's like to be ostracized by the only world you know! To have people you thought were your friends turn their backs on you with disgust! You may think becoming a werewolf is all very interesting and new now, but that it only because you're so young!"
Luna was taken aback by how Remus had raised his voice at her. She could feel her stomach wilt at how he had practically roared at her. Luna tried hold back the tears pricking the backs of her eyes as Remus went on, chuckling bitterly, quieter now, "Don't even get me started on your age. Merlin, look at what you're wearing."
Luna did not have to look down to realize he was referring to her Ravenclaw school robes, a testament to her young age and the distance between her and Remus.
Remus's expression was solemn as he went on, "I'm old enough to be your father, my dear. What's more, you're underage, not even out of Hogwarts yet. What would people think?"
Luna could feel herself losing this battle against Remus, even so, despite the tears spilling across her cheeks she went on weakly, "I don't care what people think."
"I do," Remus admitted quietly.
Luna stared a moment more at Remus, her heart pounding in her ears and her breath ragged. She could feel her body reacting physically to the conversation, meanwhile Remus for all the world looked like the picture of calmness and level-headedness as he stared at her with what Luna hoped was not sympathy. She could do nothing as Remus stared at her with pity before he began making his way in the direction of Professor Slughorn's office, leaving her alone once more.
oOo
Luna kept her eyes shut tight, curling deeper into the covers of her bed. It was a full moon that night, within the hour in fact, and she would be seeing Remus soon. For the first time Luna was dreading having to see the older man.
She had not seen him since their encounter in that Hogwarts corridor, the memory still seared painfully in Luna's mind. Luna did not want to see that look of pity on Remus' face again, that look he gave her for being honest with him about how she felt. She knew in her mind that Remus liked her, or was at least attracted to her. She knew this by the way his eyes lingered on her and all the other little details she had noticed in the past months. She knew how he felt about her, and now she knew why he would not act on these feelings.
It bothered her more than she wanted to admit, Remus' stance on all these things. Luna could understand where Remus was coming from, and his reasons for not wanting to pursue anything with her. She knew that perhaps some people would look poorly on them, but she also knew how many people would be so happy for them, amongst them their closest friends Fleur and Bill who loved them so much. She was confident that should they pursue their feelings for each other, everything would work itself out in the end, but Remus seemed incapable of seeing that. He was too concerned with worrying about the people who didn't matter.
Luna could only imagine what her father would say now. She was positive he would have encouraged her to pursue Remus if that was what she wanted, had he been alive. He would have been proud that she had found someone to care for and insisted she not hide away those feelings and let them be known. She had, finally, to Remus, but it seemed Remus would not be able to.
Luna did not know if she could live with herself hiding away what she felt for Remus.
There was a knock at the door, Fleur signaling that it was time. Luna reluctantly wrapped her robe closer around herself and got up to head down to the beach. She could feel her heart ache as she got closer to the shore where Bill and Remus stood, watching Remus in his old tattered pajama clothes.
When she and Fleur reached them Remus looked up at them, his eyes lingering on Luna before quickly looking away and then seemingly refusing to look at her.
Bill and Fleur left them, both with frowns on their faces, as if sensing there was some sort of tension but not understanding why.
Luna stared at Remus, his body was held stiff with tensions, he shoulders and neck rigid in their position as he had his face turned away from her.
"Is this how it's going to be from now on then," Luna asked quietly, the question surprising even herself.
Remus seemed to bristle at her voice, but he said nothing. Luna took a deep breath and stepped closer to him.
"Luna please," Remus begged, his voice thick and scratchy, and Luna caught a whiff of what he had smelled from her the month before, just a hint of arousal, the only possible explanation being Luna's nearness.
Luna did not pause in her steps, feeling Remus' scent causing a reaction in her own body.
Luna made a daring move and let her robe slip from her shoulders. While Remus may have not been looking at her, he must have been aware of what she had done as he stiffened even more and breathed in deeply through his nostrils. Luna rested her cheek against Remus' shoulder blade, "Please don't push me away."
"You're not making it easy," Remus groaned.
Luna smiled before she felt the pull of the moon.
"It's time," she said quietly, and then the transformation began.
oOo
