10) All the dwarves believe that I can't hold my liquor just as well as them.

There was one incident that had become unspeakable in the company. One that Bilbo had named 'Reasons why the dwarves should have never gotten drunk without me' quite traumatized by the events that had unfolded. What had happened was Fili challenged the others to a drinking contest and ordered Bilbo to document it. "Me? Why me? I can hold liquor just as well as you!" The dwarves had sniggered at that.

"Pfft, that's as likely as Bombor losing weight over nigh'" Bofur had stated, causing Bilbo to fume and shove the documenting equipment in to Gandalf' s hands. Gandalf smirked as Bilbo walked confidently up to Bofur and grinned a Tookish grin. "Game on." He hissed.


Moments later, dwarves were yelling "CHUG IT, CHUG IT" as Bilbo downed his liquor faster than Bofur. The hobbit slammed his mug down and wiped his mouth triumphantly. The effects of the alcohol were only starting to set in, quite surprising the pub bar tender. "Ya gonna finish tha'?" Slurred Bifur to Bilbo before he passed out upon the floor. The hobbit merely laughed and ordered more ale. Getting up and stepping over Bifur, Bilbo walked outside and sat down for a puff of his pipe. He returned to see the dwarves completely drunk where as they'd been semi-sober. "BILBO,MY LOVE YOU'RE HOME!" Thorin Oakenshield screamed happily as he ran to hug Bilbo. He was barged out of the way by Fili.

"BACK OFF HE'S MINE!"

"NOOOO HE'S MY... MY ... WIFE!" Thorin staggered over to Fili and slapped him. Fili slapped him back. Then Thorin slapped him back. Bilbo yanked Thorin away from Fili who yelled "WHY DENY OUR LOVE JIMMY WHY? " as he collapsed to his knees. Dori staggered past and Fili grinned before running after him. Bilbo surveyed the scene before him warily. Nori was trying to sell Bifur to Gandalf; Ori and Kili were dancing on tables singing "IT'S FRIDAY, FRIDAY! GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY! EVERYBODY'S LOOKIN' FORWARD TO THE WEEKEND!" whilst blaring the IPOD at full blast; a passed out Dori was being hugged by a hysterical Fili whom was sobbing happily and Oin was trying to chat up a wall. Elsewhere, Bofur mistook Gloin for a woman and was chasing him around the room saying "LET ME LOVE YOU GALINDA!" whilst Balin breathed heavily and occasionally stated "LUKE, I AM YOUR FATHER!". Dwalin strangely told everyone his name was Luke Skywalker and that he was a jedi, whatever that was. To this day, it is a great mystery why Kili decided to try and change his name to "King Majesticness the Firstest". Bilbo turned to Gandalf, flustered.

"If you can't beat them... Join them!" was all he said as he downed more liquor. Gandalf facepalmed. "Oh Mahal..." He muttered.