Poor Sabrina just can't keep that peace of mind huh? That's why I came up with the title for this Chapter. Sabrina finally enjoys a few months of feeling happy and content with life before other annoying feelings shatter that. Darn.
This fluff was so wonderful to write and I had a lot of fun writing Brock and Misty too. I might try to do that again sometime.
As Erika had left the Gym closed today too, it was empty and quiet. As she unlocked the door to let us in, I tried to object again. "L-look Erika, I really don't think I should leave Saffron Gym closed for such a long time on a work day."
Erika scoffed "Nonsense! Viridian Gym was closed for months!" she grabbed my hand again and tugged me inside, so I followed, red in the face and pouting.
"I really don't think that's a fair comparison!" I argued weakly in defeat. I really did want to be here with her and my stomach was doing cartwheels in joy that she seemed to be actively wanting to spend more time with me too.
"Look, sit here and relax okay? I'm going to bring out some rice balls and then do some gardening. We can chat, or you can just watch!" she sat me down on the grass insistently, next to the spot she usually awaits Gym challengers.
I sighed and pouted again "W-why..?" and she responded by confidently fanning herself with that captivating mischievous twinkle in her eyes again. She was doing that a lot today.
"Because..? I promised I would help you. Lesson number one, leave your comfort zone more often, remember?" I avoided eye contact with her for a moment to think about what she said.
"You are the boss of your own life. It is professional to open the Gym as much as possible, but not a contractual obligation.
I won't even force you to stay here! But if you want my advice as your friend, I think you should spend most of the day with me."
I responded with silence at first. My brain told me I should argue, but she was right. I sighed and tried to make myself relax, as Erika brought out a few rice balls. "Thank you."
We sat closely together on the grass and ate a rice ball each. Delicious. I cheered up pretty quickly now that I was here.
"Mm, speaking of Viridian Gym" I thought aloud "Did it ever get a new Gym Leader?"
Erika shrugged before responding "It doesn't seem like it.. people come and go. A lot of prospective Trainers are put off by that place. I cannot say I blame them.
Still, I did hear that a lot of younger more hot-headed Trainers are interested in that Gym."
I swallowed the rest of a rice ball "Erika, how do you find out all this stuff?"
She responded frankly "Because I talk to a lot of people, Sabrina."
Fair enough.
The lights in the Gym were off, with some ribbons of light streaming in through the windows from outside. The air was quite cool, but not cold. Besides, just being near Erika was pleasantly warm, as always.
It was so quiet. We just sat together in silence, contented.
For once, I decided to speak my mind.
"Nothing helps me relax quite like you do, Erika."
Erika said nothing in response. She giggled and ruffled my hair. Probably with affection, but it was still annoying. I really liked my hair to stay neat. After that she got up. "I'm just going to water the plants in the Gym. Again, please make yourself at home sweetie."
We smiled gently at one another and she went about her business. I stretched out slightly. I tried, at great pains, to make myself at home as suggested. I found that was much easier when I just watched her gardening.
It was hard to believe that just yesterday, I was too scared to even consider Erika a friend. Now here I was, being scolded for working too hard and then sharing quiet moments and smiles with the person I'd focused my attentions on for so long.
Was this it? Were all my years of frustration and uncertainty about Erika's place in my life going to be solved just like that? What caused that to change so suddenly? What caused Erika to welcome me back so quickly? I rolled onto my side and inconspicuously clutched my chest. I still felt that anxiety somewhere inside me. Friendship isn't that simple, I guess.
I sat up and watched Erika gardening again and distracted myself from the lingering feeling of anxiety. The way the sunlight filtered through the small windows and landed on her jet-black hair was captivating. I felt like I could see every individual strand, bouncing carefreely with every step she took.
She hummed quietly as she attended to her garden. I supposed it was not strange she would find little schedules and habits like that to make the job more rhythmical. Or maybe I was overthinking it.
Arceus. She was.. beautiful, though. She really was a breathtaking individual to me. I felt myself thinking how lucky I was to have met her all those years ago, for her to have been the one to allow me into her life. I truly hoped in that moment that we could stay together and just... have more days like this.
I continued to watch her quietly as she bent down to carefully tend to the soil. It was.. around this point, that I caught my eyes transfixed on her.. rear. I mean, it was just interesting to see because she usually wears a full kimono and.. actually, the way the kimono hugged her backside like that.. I don't think I'm necessarily a good judge, but her behind was actually really nice? She was just really.. aesthetically pleasing, in a lot of ways.
The moment I became conscious that these thoughts were actually running through my mind, I felt the blood rushing to my head and I began to chew my lip and I became extremely pre-occupied with asking myself 'why am I looking at her butt in the first place' 'how do I stop myself from thinking about it?' 'I should just not look at it' 'If Erika ever found a lover they would be really lucky actually just saying' 'Maybe if I make myself think about something else. like an egg' "Uhhh.." I ended up saying out loud.
"Hm?" Erika must have heard me "By the way Sabrina, what do you think of Jasmine?" she asked, as if it had been on her mind.
"I, uhh.." hang on, what did she ask? about Jasmine? "Jasmine?"
I was still bright red and my eyes felt like they had lost focus slightly, but I made myself look at Erika's head instead of.. elsewhere.
"Jasmine is.. a wonderful girl." I thought fondly of Jasmine now, despite having only met her hours ago and initially thinking the encounter would cause me jealousy or anxiety. "Delightful and deceptively intelligent, I feel genuinely glad to have spent time with her."
"Do you think you could see her as a friend?"
I nodded with a smile. I mean, I suppose? I liked her, but the way I felt about Erika and Jasmine was completely different. That makes sense though, right? I had known Erika for years.
...
We spent a few more hours together doing nothing in particular, until Erika deemed me, in her own words, 'sufficiently relaxed', and granted me leave.
As she began to open up the Gym for the afternoon and I made my way out, I turned to her and clasped her hands in mine. She seemed almost surprised by my out of character display of physical contact, but smiled sweetly.
"Thank you for today. I mean it." I said. I struggled to maintain eye-contact with her, but this kind of earnest emotional gratitude was still kind of new to me. "I feel nice, so.. even if it's frowned upon to close a Gym on a weekday, I hope we can do this again sometime."
"Then, let's make it a weekly thing!" Erika replied happily, without hesitation. I was much more hesitant. "U-uhh.. maybe not every week. Maybe every two weeks?"
She pouted. "Fine, but I bet you get bored. I'm just a phone call away, okay?" she gave my hands a little rub "I'm here for you, Sabrina. Oh.. and next time, bring Eevee and Alakazam along!"
So I did.
The next time we all met for tea in Celadon, I brought Eevee and Alakazam and let them out of their Pokéballs. Erika would let Vileplume out. Jasmine would let Magnemite out. We all shared tea and snacks together like friends and I.. really enjoyed it.
I was surprised by how entertaining and fulfilling it was to spend time with Pokémon leisurely. Alakazam knew me so well by now and I think he was really proud of me for making more of an effort. Alakazam was not just a battle partner, or colleague.. Alakazam was like another friend to me. And I felt like such a fool for not realising it sooner.
Eevee was quite shy and timid at first.. he actually reminded me of me slightly. But he responded well to affection - he loved to be pet and fed treats, and before long him and Alakazam got on quite well too. I told Alakazam that he made a good babysitter for Eevee and he responded 'Eevee isn't a child, Sabrina'.
My bad!
Okay, so at first I stood my ground. At first we did this every other week. It was really a little sporadic to begin with.
Sometimes plans would clash or we'd meet in the afternoon instead of the morning. Sometimes Jasmine was not able to come. Actually, Jasmine was not able to bring Amphy along often, due to Amphy's important job at Olivine Lighthouse, but it was always a pleasure to see them.
So before long we established some regularity. We'd close our Gyms and meet on Wednesday mornings every fortnight.
And yeah, eventually I started wanting to do it every week like Erika originally suggested. "I told you!" she teased, her fan in front of her mouth mischievously as she loved to do lately.
It really did help to break up the weeks though. It gave me something to look forward to and helped give me the energy to remain enthusiastic until the working week was over.
Sometimes I would meet someone new, like one of Erika's Gym Trainers or another Gym Leader. For example, Jasmine once brought Whitney along, the Normal-Type Gym Leader from Goldenrod City in Johto. She was a cute girl, a year or two older than Jasmine, but admittedly she was kind of intense. It really put Jasmine's own maturity for her age into perspective.
We occasionally met with Janine too, Gym Leader Koga's daughter. Erika was already quite well acquainted with her and they had met for tea in the past. Janine was a few years older than Erika and spent half her time looking up to her father, and the other half of the time ranting about how she wished to surpass him someday.
Ninjas operate in the shadows, but Janine actually felt trapped in her father's shadow. I haven't yet decided if this is poetic or cheesy. ...Anyway.
These tea social events were also how I became re-acquainted with Brock and Misty, who would both spend time in Celadon occasionally. They seemed to be friends, but they weren't always together.
They initially still found me intimidating... which I resented. But I think my resentment proved I was actually changing, and I think they could tell.
"So Erika, did you hear the latest on Viridian City Gym?"
"Ooh I don't think so! Do tell!"
"Wait a minute, Brock, you got some juicy intel and didn't tell me yet!?"
Brock held his hands in front of himself defensively "Give me a break, I only just found out about this yesterday!"
Misty pouted. I sipped some tea to try and hide the fact I was smirking.
"Look, I heard that Oak kid has his eyes set on completely remaking the image of that dump."
We all raised our eyebrows.
"That brat?!" Misty slammed her hands on the table and shouted exactly what I was thinking. My eyebrow twitched as I remembered him.
Erika shrugged "It's been over a year since I've heard anything of that kid. Maybe a little excitement is just what that City needs."
Sure I still wasn't much of a talker when anyone besides Erika or Jasmine were around, but I still felt like I was learning more about people. Heck, I finally felt 'in the loop' as a Gym Leader. Most importantly.. it was fun.
They were all actually good people. All of them. Even Erika's Gym Trainers that I almost loathed with jealousy years ago. I just.. never saw it before.
I felt my regrets slipping away the more we did this. Even my regrets about closing the Gym.
Still, after a few months the old stressful questions left my mind and new ones made themselves at home instead. And they got louder. And louder.
Erika's behaviour didn't help. I found her gradually becoming more and more comfortable inside my 'personal bubble'.
She always liked to sit our chairs close to each other and I liked to think it was to help me feel more secure, but after a few weeks of becoming more comfortable with each other she would sit so closely to me that her hips rested against mine. She could probably tell that it made my face beet-red and made my mouth quiver like a Psywave attack.
But I didn't mind. In fact, I happily reciprocated. We sat closer together and occasionally leaned on each other. It was warm. It was pleasant. I loved her smell and I loved the fact she she seemed happy to share her space with me and no one else.
We occasionally spent more quiet and close moments at Celadon Gym together too. Just to catch up if we had way too much to talk about, or to escape for some peace if our tea session became too rowdy. Like that time Whitney suddenly started crying because she'd left her Miltank back in Goldenrod Gym and had wanted her to try Erika's tea..
But the privacy of Erika's closed Gym just meant that our closeness to one another began to feel.. intimate. We clearly enjoyed each others' physical company. I wanted to be near her warmth. We lay against one another, we played with each others' hair, we cuddled.
At first I didn't really pay attention to this or think anything of it, I was just happy that we were getting closer.
But then sleepless nights began to return! And this time it was because my head and chest thumped loudly, my hands covering my red face! My fist clenching my chest, which rather than aching with a cold emptiness, ached with a burning longing!
I really wanted to be physically close to her, I felt like I would be happy holding her in my arms and staying that way. I felt myself looking at her behind and other features more often too - at first out of curiosity, and then because I.. just.. wanted to? I don't know!
