Chapter Six (Alternative Title: The Hope of Morning)
When I woke with a start I wondered why I was awake and not dead. My whole body ached as my fingers brushed against the fabric of the skeletons living room couch. 'I don't understand… Maybe it was a dream?' My hands patted various parts of my body but it was fully healed it seemed; only a few dull aches and a headache from hell. I sat up and rubbed at my eyes, something I would do when a migraine would set in like they did and the pressure would make it ease off, and I leaned back on the couch. I slipped my hand in my pocket to find the picture I had stashed of Chris; gazing at it a while thinking about it.
'I think that dream was trying to tell me something.' I stated when I felt a hand being placed on my shoulder. It was Papyrus standing beside me, his expression was burdened with worry it seemed, and I gave him a small smile.
"Hey Papyrus," I felt odd speaking like I couldn't hear myself when I spoke as if I had headphones on with my music turned up. The tall skeleton was moving his mouth but I couldn't hear him speaking. I chuckled a little – I can't hear my laugh? – Nervously and said, "Ha ha Papyrus, very funny. I'm assuming Sans put you up to the practical joke. Now quit pretending like your talking and tell me what's up."
More silent mouth moving and I frowned at him in thought; something was wrong here. He was staring over my shoulder now, still continuing to speak but no sound was coming out, as my mind was struggling to accept the reality of the situation.
"It's not funny anymore, Pap." I grabbed the front of his shirt in desperation, "Please tell me that you're playing with me man. Please tell me I'm not what I think I am." As if to answer my question, his face angled down sadly, and reached out to put a hand on my head sorrowfully. My chest was tightening and tears were silently rolling down my cheeks as he walked over to the dining table to grab a notebook. Once he got back to the couch he was furiously writing something before showing it to me.
'COULD YOU HEAR SANS BEHIND YOU? DID YOU KNOW HE WAS THERE?'
I shook my head and glanced to the other side of the couch where Sans was indeed standing. I felt my body beginning to shake as I spoke softly, "So last night wasn't just a bad dream?"
Papyrus looked torn as he wrote another line down on the paper. 'I DID THE BEST I COULD TO HEAL YOU BUT APPARENTLY THERE WERE COMPLICATIONS WITH YOUR HEARING. I CAN NOT FIX THAT JOANIE. MY HEALING POWERS ONLY WORK ON BONES. I AM SO SORRY.'
"No, don't apologize for this, it can't be helped Pap." Papyrus was handing the pad to Sans, and the short skeleton was writing lazily, as he handed me the pad to read.
'i think you should find somewhere else to go for now. i know you like it here but i dont trust myself. if i had killed you...'
My heart broke and I forced myself to stop crying; I made myself be strong. I stood up from the couch and briskly walked to Sans room to gather my clothes. The drywall was damaged on both sides from the aftermath in Papyrus' room as I passed it; and I felt my heart pounding as I picked up a heavy down jacket of mine for the winter weather. Once I got back downstairs I could see the two skeletons were engaged in a conversation, as I tapped onto the taller skeletons shoulder Papyrus turned, and I hugged his waist and thanked him. I stepped back and took my forehead to press against Sans the cool skull of his tenderly; and I could see his silent tears fall which I wiped away before I stepped to the door.
The cold air hit me hard as I struggled to put on my jacket the door shut. There was no sound of the wind in my ears, I could no longer hear the various monsters talking as I walked to Grillbys, and when I entered the bar to sit down on a stool the bright warmth of the bartender greeted me. I could see his mouth moving and it only made me cringe a little.
"Do you have something for me to write on?" I hoped I wasn't screaming since I couldn't gauge how loud my voice was. I watched him nod and slip his hand into a pocket to pull out a blank order notepad. I wrote quickly, 'I can't hear anything. I've gone deaf. Long story. Do you know anyone who can teach me sign language so I can communicate?'
His eyes read over the words with a mix of anger and sadness, once he had finished Grillby looked back up to me, and with a quick nod as he wrote out something. The pad was passed back to me after a time and I read his careful neat handwriting.
'I can teach you. Do you have somewhere to stay?' I answered with a shake of my head and his expression darkened for a moment. I assumed he was putting the pieces of what happened together, as I spoke softly in hopes only he could hear, "If you're thinking what I think you are, don't be upset at him, because it wasn't his fault." His warm ungloved fingers wrapped around my hand momentarily before he gestured for me to follow him.
The upper story of the bar surprisingly was a small apartment area, as I scanned the living room and kitchen thoughtfully Grillby was taking my coat and hanging it by the door, and I began to note how cold it was in here. I guess when you're literally a walking flame; heating isn't really an issue. He must have noticed me shiver as he strode over to the fireplace and lit it by touching it.
"That's a pretty neat trick." I hated speaking without being able to hear myself but Grillby didn't seem to mind. He smiled at me and took down a book from the shelf off to the side. I glanced at the spine of it. 'How to Sign' was in bold letters. There was a warmth on my forehead from the burning monster, the blush spreading over my face as my eyes caught his, and he made a gesture for me to read. I assumed he wanted me to start while he dealt with customers downstairs so I nodded to him obediently; pulling up my legs and getting started.
I stayed with Grillby for so long that I had lost count of the weeks; as I continued to learn sign from him. For the very first week I stayed out of his way and upstairs as I forced myself to soak in as much knowledge as I could. Whenever he would close up the bar and we would go back upstairs; the first thing I did was explain the situation. I asked him to be kind and understanding with Sans, the whole thing happened while he was sleep-attacking sort of, and I knew he was trying to protect me even if that meant keeping me away from him. I warned him of my night terrors and the things I dealt with without my medication. The entire time Grillby had taken it surprisingly well as he assured me I would always have him to talk to if I needed to. He got to know my story some, as we slowly grew closer, and I felt like I could tell him anything without judgement.
I had gotten used to sitting in the soft reclining chair when Grillby practically dragged me downstairs to study. He had grown worried about my lack of communication with anyone else, so after that I began to sit behind the bar, and I would sign out various sentences. Occasionally when there was a lull in customers; Grillby would quiz me on things I had learned to make sure they stayed fresh in my mind. I had plenty of moments of pure frustration, it felt like I was learning how to write all over again, but no matter how frustrated I got he was always there to give me encouraging words and push me onwards.
I was signing with much more precision now and I no longer needed my "cheat sheet" I had called it to converse with some of the customers and the bartender. I had begun to help Grillby with orders and at the same time practice my sign. When the shop was closed and we both headed up to his living quarters, most of our conversations consisted of talking about various things in our lives we were curious about, and I grew to learn more about the gentle flaming giant. He had been an only child too and his father had died in the war against humans and monsters. His mother gave up teaching history to the monster children to run his father's bar and whenever she grew too old to run it he took over for her. I was stunned to learn that he wasn't straight either. Turns out Grillby played both fields; and I then explained I was pansexual myself (and then explained that that meant I didn't care what gender you were or if you even identified as a gender).
He also explained he was far older than I thought he was but that monsters also aged differently than humans did. While we had a birthday every year to celebrate our birth, boss monsters only age when they have children and their children age, and all other monsters seem to be on a regular aging system but they tend to live longer than most humans. He taught me the differences between monsters was they were primarily made of magic while humans were made of water; their determination was also stronger than any monsters maybe even some boss monsters.
The amount of books he had was overwhelming. Sherlock Holmes, Nancy Drew, Dean Kootz, and so many more mystery novels; there were even some Shakespeare stuck in the back. It turns out that not only was Grillby a huge mystery novel lover, but he also had a lot of human history books, and I could picture him being a great history teacher. I was never was one to pay attention to history but watching him sign so animatedly about different major history points and the ins and outs of the situation explaining why this happened or that happened always made me smile.
I had taken the arm chair in the living room today, a book on monster history in my hands, and my reading glasses were perched onto my nose. I had noticed little things since my hearing had been gone that I hadn't before. Grillby explained it as my mind rewiring itself to compensate for the loss of one of my five senses. Whenever he was cooking, even if I was all the way downstairs taking orders, I could smell whatever he was cooking much farther than I could before I lost my hearing. I chalked it up to nonsense at first; until I noticed I had started having better reaction timing. I had never been particularly graceful or quick on my feet. In fact I was the complete opposite. It had been a long day and Grillby was practicing a new drink, and he was joking around a bit more than usual by sliding me the drink across the bar, and that's when it happened. Instead of being ready to grab it; I had been bent down fixing something. When my head popped back over the bar there was a shot glass flying down it and was on its way to the floor. I reached out, fully expecting to miss it, but instead I clutched it into my hands albeit the wrong way. There might have been a liquid mess but no glass.
My eyelids were getting heavier while I tried to focus on a chapter about monster culture when I could feel familiar warm hands on my eyes.
"Hmmm," I felt a smile tugging on my lips lazily and could smell Grilbys acquainted scent of burning amur maple as I joked, "I wonder whose here. Is it Dogessa?"
The hands were lifted from in front of my eyes and a grinning Grillby stood in front of me with one of his hands behind his back.
{Very funny. I got you a present.}
{A present? You shouldn't have! You're too sweet.} I signed back quickly as I wiped the feeling of sleepiness away and sat up in the chair. The present was perfectly wrapped, with a beautiful green bow on the top, and I sat and stared at for longer than I cared to admit. I was always one to love suspense. I carefully unwrapped it to find two things, one was a beautifully blank sketch book, and the other was a smaller black box. Once I had gotten the box open I was so stunned I almost dropped it. It was the most beautiful necklace I had ever seen. Its chain was a shimmering white gold, the stone in the middle was in the shape of a flame, and the stone itself was the most burning red looking Garnet I had ever laid my eyes on. I was trying to find words to say but I was speechless for the first time ever in my life. I just kept looking back and forth between the gifts and Grillby for probably longer than he liked.
{Did I mess up?} He signed out slowly with a sorrowful look on his face and I was sure I was about to break my neck shaking my head so violently no.
{No, you didn't I promise,} I slid the gem into my hand thoughtfully. It was pretty sizable and was at least the size of my thumb. I held it out to him as my expression of happiness faltered, {But before you give me this I need to be one hundred percent honest with you. And then you can decide, okay?}
With his normal patient nod, although I could see he was a little disappointed, he took his seat beside me in his own armchair as I began.
{Before I threw myself down into the monsters lair, I lived Aboveground, and I was absolutely miserable most of the time. That much you know. What you don't know is that Aboveground… I have a husband.} The air seemed to hang for a moment as Grillby slipped a hand through his hair and I continued, {His name is Chris, and he and I took care of his grandmother, but I hated it. I've never been very good at taking care of myself let alone someone else… I dealt with a whole lot… I don't even know when we finally get out of the Underground he will still be alive with the way time works differently between the two… And I'm also afraid of the possibility that because of my… Suicide attempt he might have…}
I put my hands in front of my face and sagged into the chair. I might have trailed off but I knew he got the general idea of what I was implying. I wanted to deny it, every fiber of my being hoped he was up there holding out, and doing better for himself. The tension was too much and my anxiety was kicking in, I could feel my chest tightening and the room getting smaller, but just like Grillby always did I felt his warm fingers wrap around mine in a comforting gesture. His other free hand took my chin gently to lift my eyes to his.
{I understand.} I could feel tears rolling down my cheeks and whenever he brushed them away I saw steam roll from his hand as he winced but continued, {Does my love for you make you uncomfortable? I do not wish to ever upset you so if it does; all you must do is tell me.}
I thought about this, lifting up my first finger as a gesture to give me a moment, and picked myself up off the chair signing {Let me think on this?} He nodded dutifully and I slipped out the front with a sigh.
I had a favorite spot of mine, right outside of Snowdin at the beginning of the Waterfall that I enjoyed to sit at and think, and today it was going to be put to good use. I sit down and closed my eyes and imagined the sound of babbling water behind me as particles of gem floated lazily through the air.
'How do I feel?' My eyebrows burrowed downwards and I felt myself torn, 'Chris was the only one I thought about for so long. I didn't even know I could feel like this with anyone else.'
Not to mention the time differences between the two places. It had been at the very latest three months Aboveground; but Underground the days were longer and the nights were longer. There was more than a 24 hour day here in the Underground. There's no telling how long I'll be down here for so I may never see him again. I pulled my knees to my chest with a deep sigh, busying myself with the train of thought to either live in the moment or stay locked into the past, as it was I was so lost in thought that I didn't see a familiar sight until I was being tapped on my shoulder.
I jumped hard until I saw a short boney skeleton with his jacket unzipped smiling down at me. He seemed to open his mouth to talk, then remember that I couldn't hear before signing, {What are you doing sitting out here by yourself? It's dangerous.}
{Thinking.} I picked up a tiny piece of gem rock from the ground and pushed it around in my hand for a moment as he sat himself beside me.
{I want to say sorry for what happened… I also know me apologizing ain't going to bring back your hearing though.} He seemed to be bothered by it and his signing was slow and clumsy as if to confirm the thought. 'So he's not a complete poker face I see.'
{I forgive you.} The skeleton smiled and began to sign out a sentence before I interrupted him, {But I need you to stay away from me Sans.}
'There goes that poker face.' I thought smugly as I watched his white pupils dissipate and his eyes stay hollow like that for a while as we sat in silence. I was never a fan of awkward silences as I sat up and dusty my behind; I tossed my first and second fingers in the air signing 'PEACE' and then spelling 'O-U-T' to where Sans was as I trekked back to the house.
I didn't expect to glance back in front of me and see him there. I wasn't afraid of him, if anything I was more annoyed right now than anything, as I had serious answers to give someone who I felt was much more important than Sans. We had a stare down for a short time as I signed 'What?' quickly; only for him to answer with a small shrug. I brushed past him and crossed from the Waterfalls to Snowdin again when I felt his presence magically. He was following me I was sure of it; but he wasn't going to act out from what I could tell. My only concern was why he felt the need to bother me when he clearly wants me safe and the only way for me to be safe is to be away from him.
The door was still unlocked when I got back to the bar, as I took my familiar route to the upstairs house, and saw Grillby sitting by the fire with the book he had been reading. I stepped as quietly as I could manage and slipped his glasses off to slide my hands in front of his eyes this time. I felt his body vibrate a laugh and watched his flames crackle like they did in tune.
{I wonder who this could be?} He signed but instead of answering took my hands and kissed the palms of them tenderly. I was aware of the big grin I had on my face, as his eyes seemed to see right through me, and all he asked was, {Have you decided?}
Instead of answering him, I pulled him to stand up, and kissed the back of his hands. My hands were on the sides of his face as I inched closer; the heat radiating from his was a relaxing warmth. I closed my eyes as our lips met; one of my hands gripping the back of his opened button up shirt and the other was wound around his flaming wisps of hair. I could feel the vibrations from my hand on his back of his groans of pleasure, one of his hands was cradling my face lovingly, and I parted my lips slightly as our tongues met. The texture was unreal and not like a human tongue. It was burning hot and it was almost like the flames would lap at my own tongue from his.
I had forgotten to breathe when we pulled apart and my head was spinning. His long fingers trailed my lips as I shivered; his eyes were hungrily watching me. I leaned up to kiss him and trailed my fingers along his chest, but this time I backed away, and worked his bottom lip between my teeth with care. The fingers felt his chest shake as a moan escaped him and I couldn't help but smile. I trailed kisses all the way down his jaw, his neck I chose to slide my tongue against ever so gently, using not only the tip but flattening it too as another moan escaped him and I saw him mouth my name out.
In the middle of trailing more kisses and licks down his chest, wanting to savor every inch of him, I was picked up and thrown over his shoulder softly. I gave a little squeal and pretended to bang on the back of his back with my fists before I started to massage his flexing muscles. I didn't get very far into the massage as I was put down to stand in front of his king size bed; his lips glued to mine and his hands were trailing down my neck. The heat was wavering from several different temperatures from luke-warm to boiling occasionally making me moan out in painful pleasure. I was discarding my shirt to the side, as I felt his tongue slide to my neck to suck and lick, and I couldn't hold it back any longer crying out his name. His fingers were expertly unclasping my bra as I brushed against the stiffness in his pajama pants; and as my bra fell his tongue continued to trail lower.
I was fighting to get his shirt off, when I finally succeeded I was picked up yet again, and laid flat on my back on the comfortable sheets of his bed. Grillby's tongue lapped against my hardened nipples while his other hands fingers trailed along my belly to trace it; I felt my hips raise as I whimpered out his name. One of my hands gripped his hair and the other the sheets, his kisses and tongue sending me over the edge on its own, and I felt myself closing in on an orgasm already.
"I-I'm going to…" I was panting when his free hand found my sensitive wet folds between my thighs. I lifted my hips as if to beg him but instead he chose to trail along the lips of my pussy, "Ah! I-I can't take it… I'm… So c-close."
His lips parted from my nipples and slid down my pants and soaked underwear while I groaned in protest. My legs were parted so he could see my vagina, as he bent down and slid each hand around my thighs, and his tongue entered me roughly. I cried out his name and bucked my hips in the rhythm of his tongue lapping at my clit; my legs had begun to quiver. Between the warmth of his tongue, the warmth of his breath, and my budding orgasm I felt my whole body shaking in pleasure. I lost all control of my moans and cries of pleasure when he slid two fingers inside to rub against my g-spot with precision.
"Ahhh fuck! Mhhmphh… G-Grillby…" I could only pant out and I cried out as he turned up the heat on his tongue for a second. I felt my climax wash over me, my whole body shook for a moment, and I could feel Grillby lapping my sensitive fold as I shivered. His body was burning brightly in the darkness of the room, as he laid down beside me, and I curled up to his side, feeling my legs still tingling and shaking. His hand picked up my chin and I tilted my head up as our lips met. I could taste myself on him, I slid my leg over his chest so I could straddle him as our lips were locked together, and I could feel his bulge throb against my back.
My hands were stroking the fabric of his pajamas on his inner thigh; his moans were vibrating underneath my thighs and his bulge twitched in anticipation. I was enjoying toying with his sensitive areas as I felt his hands inch up to my breasts; his fingers gripping and teasing my nipples to goad me on. I fumbled to slip my hand down his pj's and grip his cock, all the while he struggled to get rid of his boxer briefs and pajama pants, and I stared in awe at the fully erect penis of Grillbys'. It was a burning red color, the same texture it seemed to be as his tongue, and the pre-cum dripping from the tip looked like molten lava almost. I hesitated for a moment, scared I would burn myself, as I glided the flat of my tongue to lap it up eagerly. It didn't burn me, it was much warmer than I remembered humans cum though, and it had a sharp almost spicy taste to it. I licked from the base to the head of his member tantalizingly; each broad lick was rewarded with a small amount of cum dripping down the base.
I lifted myself and positioned over his long cock, teasing the head between my folds, as I watched Grillby writhe in desperation and quickly sign, {I want you, Joanie, no more teasing please. I cannot take it any longer.} A grin broke out as I slid the tip in and gyrated my hips; every time he buckled his hips upwards I would inch farther away. His flames were dancing and I could tell from the movements in his chest he was losing control.
I was so enamored watching him, I didn't expect a rope made of fire to wrap around my arms, and it forced him deeply inside me. I cried out in pleasure as he stretched inside me. His eyes were twinkling mischievously at his trick; and I felt my breasts moving in rhythm. His fingers were digging into the base of my hips, as his hips rose every time the blanket of fire shoved me downwards, and I could feel from his rough thrusts my vagina tightening around him after wave of pleasure rose and peaked. My hands were freed from the blanket and I laid them on his chest, the vibrations from his moans and pants pushing me to my peak, as my legs shook from the force of the orgasm. Our eyes were locked and I watched him mouth, "I am going to cum." I nodded while I panted out, his pace was quickening and I felt like the friction was going to drive me wild, Grillby took one of his hands and placed it on my chest like I was doing his to hear my heartbeat. With his head tilting back and moaning out loudly, I felt his muscles tense and his cock twitch inside me, his cum filling me with warmth to the brim and it made me shiver.
I could feel him lifting me off him and I began to protest but before I could his juices dripped out of my folds and onto his chest. I couldn't help but giggle at the face he made, licking up the mess he made, and I swung off his chest to cuddle close to his side. I was tracing my finger along one of his arm muscles absentmindedly when I noticed he had put the necklace by his bedside table. In a smooth motion, he put it on me and clasped the back together, taking my face in his hands as we kissed tiredly.
{I am always captivated by your beauty.} Grillbys' hand cradled my face and placed his forehead against mine in an affectionate gesture, {I care about you more than I've cared about anyone in a long time.}
{My heart is yours, Grillby,} I struggled against a yawn and closed my eyes against the crook of his arm as the smell of burning maple comforted me into a lull of sleep, {I don't want to lose you.}
