Chapter Seven – Intuition
She had only been awake for a day, but Beth's mind was already reeling as she sat in her hospital bed and tried to understand what had happened. What was going on?
Dr. Edwards seemed nice enough, but something about him gave her goose bumps. She couldn't place the feeling, but it wasn't a pleasant one. In fact, all day she had been trying to avoid seeing him, often pretending to sleep when he entered her room to check on her. She wanted to be left alone.
Not that it was hard – almost everyone at Grady Memorial seemed afraid to talk to her. She couldn't understand it. The wards wouldn't look her in the eye when they spoke to her. At first she thought they were afraid to look at her because of her head wound, but she quickly realized that there was something more to it.
She wished she could talk to Morgan, but it seemed like that would have to wait until the next day when she could finally stretch her legs and leave her room. She was surprised that he hadn't come to sit with her in her hospital room after she woke up. What had he been doing this past week while she had recovered? Hadn't he been happy to hear she was finally getting better? It seemed strange of him to ignore her. So she had yet another uneasy feeling in her stomach.
Beth had had plenty of visitors. Many of the visits had been odd; a ward in scrubs similar to hers would walk in quickly, look at her wide-eyed, say a quick hello, and then dart back out the door. This had happened on multiple occasions throughout the day. Beth was starting to feel like a zoo animal.
She had also been visited by two police officers. Officers Shepherd and Licari. Officer Shepherd had been very kind and comforting. She had explained that the hospital was running on a certain type of system. The wards were brought in by officers, often on their death beds. If Dr. Edwards was able to save them, they would then work in the hospital to pay off their debt. Hospital jobs included keeping the officers happy, cleaning, cooking, and assisting Dr. Edwards. She then went on to tell Beth to report to the cafeteria the next day, as her job would be delivering food to patients.
Officer Licari had remained silent through Shepherd's speech. Beth felt uneasy when he looked at her. He seemed to be glaring at her, his fingers curled into fists. He was a large, beefy, balding man who looked more like a predator than anything else. Beth was afraid of him. She had decided to be afraid of him from the moment he had walked into her room with Officer Shepherd. She would try to avoid him, too. Her list of people to avoid seemed to be growing by the minute.
Beth's red flags had been going up all day. But she felt useless without her memory – as if there was something she could find in her mind that could help her understand her own intuition.
Don't be silly, Greene, they saved your life, she thought to herself as she lay on her side in bed, staring at a poster of a clock that read Get Well Soon! Each number on the clock had been replaced with the word "NOW." Even the damn clock seemed angry at her. Tomorrow would have to be a better day. Tomorrow she could talk to Morgan.
Beth closed her eyes and tried to put her mind at rest. Sleep overcame her quickly.
…
When Beth awoke it took her a moment to regroup and remember where she was. The room was grey, filled with a dull light from the small window in the corner. It was raining outside. No, it was pouring outside – a storm seemed to be on the horizon. Beth was sure there would be thunder and lightning by dusk. Maybe it was lucky she was stuck inside after all.
She sat up and looked around. Someone had placed a pair of black canvas sneakers in the corner of the room for her. She reached for them and started to put them on absentmindedly. She would find Morgan today, she would work off her debt, and they would leave to find his group. Beth felt guilty – they were now more than a week behind the group, and tracking them would prove much more difficult. But she was grateful that Morgan had found help for her. The dull aching in her head was nothing compared to the searing pain she had felt last week while out on the road. She looked down at her shoes and for a moment her heart stopped.
Her laces didn't match. One was black, the other white. A panic rose in Beth, a panic unlike any other she had felt so far. It suddenly felt as though the entire room had begun to close in on her – like she was in the wrong place surrounded by the wrong people. That homesick feeling she had been fighting crashed down around her with such a force, she almost cried out. What was wrong with her? Why did she keep breaking down at the sight of random objects? Beth couldn't contain her sadness, and she let it wash over her for a moment, all the while staring at the mysterious laces that had started it all.
Her own mind was a mystery to her. Beth Greene mystified herself. And she hated herself for it.
She reached down into her pockets to pull out her ladybug figurine, before realizing that she no longer had pockets. She no longer had the figurine. She wiped away her tears as she quickly stood up and spun about the room, looking for her old clothes.
No, she thought to herself, over and over again in a panic. She couldn't have lost it. It was her most prized possession. Someone important had left it for her, it was her only anchor, her only tie to the world she had lived in before her memory went to shit. Beth was so distracted in trying to find her wooden ladybug that she didn't hear the door slide open.
"Ahem," Beth heard the sound of a throat clearing and spun around.
"I was coming to see if you were ready to head to the cafeteria."
It was a ward. She was much older than Beth, probably in her mid fifties, with a harsh face and graying hair. But she didn't look Beth in the eye. Beth didn't blame her - she knew she probably looked wild. Her eyes were bloodshot from the tears she hadn't realized had been spilling.
"If you're looking for something, maybe I can help you find it?"
The ward looked up at Beth's face now, unsure of what to do. Beth took a deep breath, wiped her eyes, and nodded.
"I had a couple of things in my pockets before I got here that I want back," she explained.
"You'll probably find them in the laundry room – that's where all of our clothes and belongings are kept," the woman responded slowly. "My name is Marianne, by the way."
"Thanks, Marianne. I'm Beth."
"I know," the ward responded absentmindedly. Beth shot her a quizzical look.
Marianne's eyes widened suddenly and she quickly blurted out, "Dr. Edwards told us all about you. We all know your name."
"Oh," Beth responded. That uneasy feeling was back. "Okay, well I guess I'm ready to go to the cafeteria with you."
"This way," Marianne said, and then she was out the door. Beth followed quickly. She was surprised by how much energy she had – walking was no longer too painful or too difficult.
As she followed Marianne down the hall, Beth spotted Officer Licari walking in their direction. She gathered her courage and called out to him quickly.
"Officer Licari, where's my friend? His name is Morgan, he's the man who brought me here."
Officer Licari stopped and looked at her. His expression seemed molded onto his face. "Morgan is currently being treated for his injuries. He sustained quite a few over the past few weeks that needed some looking at. He'll be resting, and I don't want him to be disturbed. You can see him in a few days."
Beth hardly caught it, but a look passed between Marianne and Officer Licari. Marianne looked down, suddenly. "Come on Beth, we have work to do."
She practically dragged Beth down the hall and into a room at the end. Officer Licari had stopped and watched them until they rounded the corner into the cafeteria. Something about him was menacing. Beth didn't like it.
Beth's confusion was back stronger than ever. What injuries had Licari been talking about? Morgan had been fine, he'd told her so himself. Unless something had happened to him while he was trying to save her life – Beth's guilt returned worse than ever. She hoped he was all right. She really wanted to see him. She needed to thank him, and she wanted to reassure him that they would get back on track as soon as possible. Beth owed him everything.
"Beth!" Marianne called out to her from across the room. Everyone was staring. Beth made her way over to Marianne and another ward. "This is Kira, she'll be giving you trays to deliver to patients today."
Beth nodded at the younger ward. Marianne stalked off to talk to someone else.
"You'll be doing these deliveries for about a week, and then you'll graduate to my job," Kira said to Beth quickly. "I've only been here for a few weeks myself."
Beth's ears perked up at this. Something about this sounded wrong.
"A few weeks? And you haven't paid off your debt yet?"
Kira shook her head. "I'm not strong enough to be out there on my own, even if I had paid off what I owed. It's safer for me here. Besides, most of the wards in the hospital have been here for months at least."
Beth didn't like the sound of that. She wanted out of the hospital as soon as possible. She hoped it wouldn't take her weeks.
"You want my advice?" Kira said to her quietly as she placed a bread roll and some canned soup on a tray, "eat as little as possible. And try not to use the facilities much. It all adds up and you owe even more than what you started with."
"Why are you telling me this?" Beth asked under her breath.
"Because you seem like a survivor. You're stronger than most of us. I can tell, they all can tell. Get out of here when you can," the girl responded. Beth noticed Marianne returning.
"Now this tray is for a patient in room 510," Kira said loudly, "there will be two beds in that room, make sure you don't disturb the other patient. He'll have a curtain around his bed, don't move it. Go up two floors and turn left. And stay away from the fourth floor, it's off limits to us right now."
Beth nodded at her and headed out. She spotted Officer Licari again, but this time he was talking to a group of other officers in hushed voices. She caught the words "elevator shaft" and "just woke up" as she neared them, but the group fell silent as she walked past. They were all looking at her.
When she finally reached 510, everything was quiet. She realized the fifth floor had essentially become the ICU. Each room she walked past seemed to hold someone who was near death, or completely comatose.
She quickly turned the handle and walked inside. Kira was right, there were two patients, but there was no curtain around any bed. She wasn't sure who to leave the food for. She decided to leave the tray on a side table next to the bed on the left. In it, a man with dark hair and a calm face seemed to be dozing.
Beth noticed a badge on the table – he must have been one of the officers who somehow got hurt. After placing down the tray, Beth quietly lifted the badge and opened it. It said his name was Officer O'Donnell. Beth wondered what had happened to him.
"You, girl, what are you doing?" she heard the man, Officer O'Donnell say quietly in a weak voice behind her. Beth turned to look at him. His eyes widened.
Then everything went to hell.
"BETH? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?! STAY AWAY FROM ME! HELP! SHE'S TRYING TO KILL ME AGAIN! SOMEBODY HELP! HELP ME!"
Beth was out of the room faster than she thought her two legs could carry her. She raced down the hallway, her mind reeling, and threw herself into the stairwell, running down blindly.
That man knew my name. He was afraid of me. He thought I was trying to kill him. Again? What the hell is going on? How did he know me?!
Beth flung herself through the first door she could find before stopping at the scene in front of her. She was on the fourth floor. It was empty. But as she looked around, she could feel her stomach churning, could feel sickness threatening to take hold.
It looked like a war zone. There were bullet holes in the walls, and blood everywhere. In her mind's eye, Beth saw a flash of leather. Wings on a leather vest.
Beth blinked and the blood disappeared. She stepped closer towards the walls, her head spinning. The bullet holes were still there. Something had happened here. Something so terrible it had stirred up a memory. White wings on a leather vest. Blood everywhere.
She felt like she was going to throw up again. Beth plummeted down the hallway as fast as she could, and she practically threw herself into the first supply closet she could find. Gray Memorial Hospital wasn't safe for her. She was sure of it.
...
So I snuck the title of episode 5x09 in there just for fun, see if you can spot it :) I hope y'all enjoyed this first part of Beth back at Grady! More to come! Also to those of you who are sending me wonderful comments as guests, thank you so much! I would reply to you if I could. I promise you that I'll keep updating until this story is finished! I have so many chapters planned out in my head, I just have to write them down... thanks for reading everyone!
