Nothing seemed to have changed on Platform Nine and Three Quarters when the Longbottoms arrived through the wall from Kings Cross Station. Neville had returned to Hogwarts a week early to prepare for the new term; Emilia and Will stood with their mother amid the bustling crowd.
"Have a good term, the two of you. Emilia, be sure to tell your father if you don't feel well. And Will, look after your sister."
"Mum!" Emilia strung it out with a whine. "I can take care of myself." This probably wasn't true, but she really didn't want to worry her mother any more than she already had.
"I know, I know," Hannah said, pulling Emilia into one last hug, her eyes threatening tears. "But I only just my bright, little girl back. I don't want to lose her."
"You won't, Mum," Emilia smiled with new determination. "I'll write, every week, twice when Will forgets. See you at Christmas."
"I'll hold you to that promise." Hannah brushed both of her cheeks with the backs of her hands and kissed her forehead.
"I'll take the cases, you grab the owls."
Emilia hesitated at Will's request. "But what about James?" her voice wavered slightly. Thankfully, their mother didn't seem to hear.
"You're my sister, something I managed to forget. Come on, before all the compartments are taken. Don't worry, Mum. She's got me."
"I'll be alright; goodbye Mum." Waving, Emilia walked backwards to the train until their mother was lost in the crowd.
Will heaved the trunks onto the train and down the corridor to find an empty compartment. After dropping to owls off in the animal carriage, Emilia returned to find Will struggling to get the trunks into the baggage shelves at the end of the car.
"Need a hand?"
"Thanks."
Emilia and Will sat in silence as the train pulled away from the station. They waved to their mother, then leaned back in the chairs, not knowing what to say. Everything was going to change. Emilia hadn't quite figured out how she would cope if things became bad again, but she didn't want to think about that now.
"So, are any of your friends coming to sit with us?" she mumbled.
"I don't know," Will mused, which immediately set her on edge. "My friends and I don't really write to each other over Summer."
After a long silence, Emilia stood up suddenly. "I'm going to find Annie."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, she's my best friend. She's tried her best through all of this, and never gave up on me. The least she deserves is an apology."
"Do you want me to go with you?"
"Thank you, but no. I need to do this alone."
Emilia left her brother and walked towards the back of the train. The older students tended to be back there. She received her usual funny looks as she glanced into the compartments, through the glass and open doors. Being the daughter of a teacher hadn't really gotten any easier, though indeed her father had always been well liked by the students.
"Emilia?" a voice came from one of the compartments as she passed. She stopped, turning slowly on her heel. A Ravenclaw boy stepped out into the corridor. "I thought it might have been you. How have you been?"
"Better," she managed to whisper, feeling that invisible hand close around her throat again.
"That's great to hear!" Kyle beamed. "You look a little lost; is everything okay?"
"Looking for Annie," Emilia pushed out. "Actually!" It came out far louder than she had intended, due the sheer force she needed to get the word out. She tried again, but this time, quieter. "Actually, I would like to talk to you, if that's okay?" she spoke carefully, breathing in between every couple of words, but had to rush the end.
Kyle stared at her for a moment, likely in shock of how many words she had spoken at once. "Of course," he said, after a moment.
Emilia brought a hand to her throat, scratching, clawing at the hand that only existed in her mind. Closing her eyes and leaning against the window, she thought through her next words carefully. She had been able to speak to her brother after three years of silence; Kyle, a boy who had always made an effort to keep her in reality, shouldn't be so difficult apologise to. And yet, the fact that he had continued trying, and she had continued to reject him, made things so much harder.
"I…have been working hard over Summer." The first statement sounded wheezy, and Emilia felt the hand tighten.
"Please, take your time. There's not rush." Kyle gave her the familiar smile that had always comforted her. There was nothing to be afraid of.
Straining against everything that she had built up to save her from the clutches of her own mind, she spoke. "I have been working over summer. I'm trying to make myself better. I've started talking to my brother, and he and my parents are helping me." Emilia took a deep breath and sighed. "Anyway, that's not really what I wanted to say. I wanted to say that…that I'm sorry." The hand loosened slightly. "I know you've been trying so hard to make this friendship work, and I haven't been helping you at all. I'm sorry that it has taken me this long to realize how I've been affecting everyone around me. I really appreciate everything that you've done for me. It wasn't fair of me to cling to you. You don't have to be friends with me any longer. I just want you to know that I'm sorry." Emilia didn't look up from the floor the entire time she was speaking. It was too difficult to look at Kyle's face without crying.
"Hey, why would you say that? Of course I still want to be friends with you. I know that you're still the amazing girl I met in first year-"
"But I'm not." Emilia looked up, trying desperately to make her voice assertive, but what came out was more of a whimper. Heaving another deep sigh, she gathered up her momentary anger. "And that's okay. I'd rather not be like her actually."
"You should be yourself, Emilia, no matter what other people think."
"But this way I can become who I want to be."
"And whoever that is, I'll be standing right by them."
Emilia couldn't help but smile. It was becoming so easy to talk to him, and so quickly. "I can't thank you enough." Kyle was the one to pull her into a hug. The hand had taken temporary leave, her body flushing with a warm, fluffy feeling.
"You really have been working hard. And I hate to dismiss you, but you're on a roll. Best go find Annie."
"Of course, yes," she smiled, pulling away. "Thank you again."
"You're welcome."
Emilia was reluctant to leave Kyle standing in the car corridor. He waved after her until she disappeared into the next car. Having stepped out of her comfort zone twice now, Annie would be a breeze. But she had to find her first.
"Emilia! Hi!" A voice piped up from behind her as she peered at through the glass of a compartment.
Emilia twisted her head, and smiled. "Albus, how are you?" Her tone surprised her, and Albus too.
"Wow, you're really…different."
"Sorry," she shrank back into herself. "I didn't mean to…" But Emilia couldn't find the words to finish.
"It's been so long! How are you?"
"I'm good, thank you."
"I'm sorry we lost touch." Albus hung his head quite suddenly. "You were upset, and I didn't know what to do. I felt awful."
"I think I'm the one who owes you an apology." Emilia's voice was back to a whisper. "I wasn't just upset. It was a lot worse than that. But I didn't want you to be involved in it."
"Why not?" Because Albus was only two years younger than her, it was easy to forget that he really didn't have any idea how bad things had gotten. She was hesitant to tell him the truth, but as the hand began to claw at her neck, she knew telling a lie wasn't an option.
"Because it involves your brother."
"Oh." He didn't seem to know what to say.
"I should go. I'm trying to find Annie."
"If I see her, I'll let her know you're looking for her."
"Thank you." Emilia tried to smile. She knew Albus would always look up to his brother, no matter what he had done. But he was her friend too; whatever changes were to come might affect him. It seemed so unfair to make him choose, so she left him to think on it, and continued down the corridor.
She reached the end of the next car without any luck. Only then did she notice that the usual sick feeling she had at the beginning of every school year, had gone. Even though she had been able to reconcile with a friend in every house but her own, she wasn't dreading the welcome banquet at all.
Moving with more confidence than she had felt in years, she walked to the next car. Her hopes were lifted even higher when she was sure she heard the voice of Fred Weasley. But her happiness was not to last, for of course, it seemed too much to ask for the fates to let someone like her have the smallest bit of luck. The one person she had hoped she wouldn't have to see until the evening, stepped out from a compartment a few metres ahead of where she stood.
Her whole body seemed to shake at the mere sight of his grin. To anyone else, it would have seemed playful, harmless, attractive even. But all Emilia could do was drop her head and swallow hard. It was only the thought of having Annie, her best friend, back at her side that pushed her to take the next few steps. Not lifting her eyes, she moved against the window, praying to anyone that she could just slip under his nose without him noticing. But all her hope seemed to shatter when she felt a hard bump against her shoulder.
"Watch where you're going," James spat, sniffing in disgust.
Emilia began to shake more violently. She was about to utter yet another apology, when she accidently caught his eye through her hair, and suddenly her mind sharpened. Something unfamiliar stirred in the very depths of her ribcage and her feelings became clear; it wasn't fear, it was rage.
The chains on her vocal chords fell, the hand banished for eternity. Her body no longer felt like her own. Something threw her head up, flinging the hair from her face, and turning her eyes to see James striding away.
"Hey!" a voice that sounded something like hers, but scarily fierce, jumped from her lips. Any fear she had initially felt for James had turned to how little control she had over herself. Feeling her cheeks flush hot and red, Emilia could only let whatever it was speak for her. "I moved so that you could pass. There was room for both of us!"
James stopped, turned, his usual smile gone, his untamed mop of hair hanging well over his furrowed eyebrows. "You what now?"
"You think you can treat me like this?" Emilia spat, her mind screaming at her to shut up and run before things got ugly. But the thing in her chest stirred again and her inner voice was silenced. "You think that just because you glowed up early, because you've got the right genes in the right order, you think you can treat me like shit?"
"Where the hell did this come from?" James no longer looked confused, more bewildered.
"I'm sick and tired of you and your lot thinking you're a cut above the rest. You're just the same as the rest of us. And just because you're the eldest child of the Chosen One, you think you're entitled? You think the world owes you? The world doesn't owe you shit! Your father was the Chosen One, not you."
He was now approaching her like one might approach a spooked deer. "Emilia, I think you need to calm down."
"There you go again, thinking you can tell me what to do. You know, the prophecy never spoke of your father specifically. It could have been my father! It could have been me!" And as soon as James was within arm's reach, something made her lash out, striking his cheek with the back of her left hand. He stumbled back, not because she had hit him particularly hard, but because he would have never seen it coming, least from her.
"What the hell is going on?" came a familiar voice, but neither took notice.
"People…the people here just treat me that way. It's not my fault." James recovered quickly. "It's not my fault you've always been such a pushover."
"Not your fault? You were my friend! You should have stood up for me!"
James sniggered. "Stood up for you? You're joking, right? You think I would throw away a chance at having a bunch of friends for a girl I barely knew? And come on, we were hardly friends."
"I'm your best friend's sister."
"Yeah, and he chose me over you."
It stung, like a knife to the heart. The stirring wavered and began to fade. James had won this fight, but Emilia had the feeling that, until she figured out what this angry force was, there would be many more.
"For a moment there, I thought you might have changed, grown a backbone. But it looks to me like you're still the same little girl, clinging to anything with a pulse that shows her the slightest bit of pity."
Emilia was too focused on the fading anger, and regaining control of her body again to even come up with an answer. Defending herself was now the last thing on her mind. Then, something wrapped itself around her; it wasn't the hand, nor any mental chain, but a pair of arms. They guided her body down the corridor, away from where James was now long gone, and into a smaller area. They sat her down, let go, and she became cold.
"Emilia, Emilia, are you alright? What happened back there?" The voice was closer, right next to her ear.
She couldn't answer right away. Still getting to grips with control, she didn't realize that tears were rolling down her face until she felt a finger wipe them away. "I don't know," she muttered.
"What did she do?" someone else asked.
"Just after I looked out, she hit James across the face. It was pretty scary."
"Annie?" Emilia lifted her head to look at the girl next to her.
"Yes, are you alright?"
"I'm not really sure. I don't know what that was. It didn't feel like me, like I wasn't in control of my own body."
"What do you mean?"
"You know me, I'd never do anything like that, especially not to James." Her voice still shook.
"If it wasn't you, then what was it?"
Emilia recognized the two girls who were sitting across from her. Eve and Natalie had stopped trying to encourage her to speak about a year ago, and she couldn't blame them. But now, they looked genuinely concerned for her.
"I think the only way to describe it is that there was something inside of me," she touched her chest, "like a second soul, a second being, that told my body what to do and my mouth what to say, and I didn't have any power over it. And it was so angry, like nothing I've ever felt. I should have been afraid of James, but I wasn't."
"I'm sorry, but can we back up a bit. How come you're able to talk to us? I think you've said more words in the past thirty seconds that you have in the past three years!" She understood Natalie's confusion.
"It's like what I felt just now completely eradicated what was stopping me from talking before. I don't imagine it'll last, but for now I just don't feel any resistance."
"Are you sure?" Annie looked at her hopefully. "You sound so much better."
"I have been trying to turn things around over summer, and it's been working. But nothing is going to change overnight. Just now was a freak episode; I can't make any promises about how I'll be later."
"But you're trying, and that's amazing," Eve piped up, grinning.
"Do you think maybe you could accept my apologies? I know I haven't treated you very well."
"Of course, and we want to help you, right?" Eve turned to Natalie, as did the others.
Natalie looked a little uncomfortable. She took a deep breath and signed. "If you promise not to completely shut us out again. I mean, we're your friends, you're supposed to come to us with anything, even stuff you can't tell your parents."
"I promise," Emilia whispered. "I promise, I'll do my best to talk to you guys."
"Then okay," Natalie smiled.
"Thank you." Emilia rubbed one of her eyes with the heel of her hand, and noticed the badge in Natalie's hands. "You're a Prefect. I knew you would be. Who's the other one?"
"I don't know yet, but I hope it's Casper, because Godric knows the other boys are bloody useless! I have to go for a meeting soon in the Prefects' carriage, so I'll find out then."
"This year is going to great," Annie smiled. "I just know it. Now, let's get changed."
