I'm Obnoxious
. . .
"Ladies," he said, holding his arms out wide. "If you'd like to talk, why not talk together?" He wrapped both arms around their shoulders, as if giving them a hug. Both girls crumpled and Cobra lowered them down onto the deck. He sighed, returning to his chair on the other side of the ship. "Finally, some peace and quiet."
Jellal, having just returned from speaking with the Captain, looked at the scene in front of him. Cobra was reclined in a lounge chair, a blissful smile on his face while on the other side of the deck, Angel and Lucy were passed out on the floor.
"ERIK!"
Well, that lasted about twenty seconds.
That's also what she said!
. . .
"Care to explain why the other half of our team is passed out on the floor?" Jellal rushed over to the girls to check their breathing and Cobra rolled his eye.
"Not really, no," he said, closing his eye and leaning back again.
Jellal shot him a warning look,but too bad my eyes were closed and I couldn't see it!
"Erik!" Jellal said, standing to his full height and walking over to him. Cobra could sense his shadow and he cracked one eye open, the only eye I've got. "We're going to be porting in twenty minutes. Please tell me they will be awake by then."
"Porting as like, not a euphemism?" Jellal looked murderous. Cobra responded with a grin. He held up his fingers and made a big show of counting backwards. "If the sleep agent wears off in thirty minutes and I put them to sleep five minutes ago and we've got fifteen minutes left on the boat, will they be awake?"
"Are you asking me?" Jellal huffed.
Cobra made a frowning face and looked up at Jellal. "Math not your strong suit? That's okay, champ. We'll find you a tutor."
Jellal was about to roar the man's name again but he held himself back, opting to pinch the bridge of his nose. In a quiet voice he said, "Make sure they're awake before we have to disembark."
"Yeah, yeah," Cobra acknowledged, no longer wanting to engage in banter with an irate Jellal.
Right on cue, the girls awoke with approximately ten minutes left to the voyage. As they started to stir, Cobra made sure he was well on the other side of the ship and out of view. Luckily for him, when they were fully aware again, it was time to depart the ship and he was able to use Jellal as a mediator.
"I can't believe you would let him do something like that to us," Angel huffed at the Guildmaster.
"Sorano, you know that I don't have control over what he does. Besides, I wasn't even in the vicinity," Jellal responded coolly as the group waited in line to disembark the ship.
Cobra couldn't help but notice that Lucy was staying quiet through the entire thing and curiosity got the better of him, so he activated his magic and began listening to her soul. There was an inquisitiveness directed at him as she stood there silently and he groaned, making her turn to face him.
"What?" she asked.
"Whatever you're thinking, no," he replied.
"What do you mean?"
He reached out and tapped the center of her sternum. Lucy's eyes widened momentarily as he reached for her but she calmed as she saw what was happening. "In there, you're soul, I know it's direction and again, just no. None of this, 'figure him out and fix him' shit, please and thank you."
"You're so damaged," Lucy huffed, turning back around.
"This coming from the girl that was drowning herself in booze and cum for the past month."
Lucy made a face. "Do you have to be so gross? Can't you insult me more elegantly?"
"Excuse me, this coming from the girl that sought refreshment both at the bar and under it," he corrected.
"Better," Lucy replied flatly. "But you still need work."
Finally stepping off the ramp, Lucy looked up at the sight before her. The Kingdom of Caelum was unlike anything she had ever seen. Beautiful white stone buildings with rounded tops dotted the coastline. Bringing her gaze upwards, she could see the expanse of mountains that rose up towards the middle of the land was dotted with farms and vineyards.
Standing in awe of the sight before her, she lost her balance when people on the busy pier tried to push by her. She could see the ground careening towards her but her fall was stopped abruptly. Turning around, Cobra had his arms around her waist and she blushed. "Thank you," she managed to squeak out.
He held her there for a bit longer, just to make sure the girl's got her balance. This has nothing to do with how close my hands are to her tits,before finally letting her go so she could stand upright.
"People here are jerks. Better stick close and pay attention," Cobra said flatly, adjusting his long white coat. Lucy nodded and followed Cobra closely as the team weaved through the crowd.
"I'm surprised there isn't more damage from the war," Jellal noted as they walked the streets. Lucy stole glances at her surroundings while being sure to keep close to everyone else. There were some signs of fighting. Scorch marks marred the cobblestone streets and some of the buildings. Any of the trees that dotted the plazas were much younger than the buildings that encompassed them. And a few of the buildings did have substantial damage but none of those were sitting vacant; they all were having work done to restore them.
Lucy kept her eyes trained on Jellal as they weaved through the crowd. It was interesting to watch her three teammates. All of them seemed on edge. Angel, who had no qualms with showing off her figure, had put a large shawl overtop of her dress, Jellal was keeping his face shadowed with his hood pulled up and Cobra had popped the collar high on his coat and was walking rather stiffly.
"Over here," Jellal said as they turned up a small alleyway off the main path. Lucy was glad the Guildmaster was leading because she certainly would have gotten lost as they meandered through what felt like endless corridors. After what felt like an eternity, Jellal made a series of timed knocks on a weathered wooden door. It opened and he ushered them all inside.
When her eyes adjusted to the dim lights, she saw they were in what appeared to be a small apartment. Meredy, Racer and Hoteye were sitting at the table on the side of the kitchen. The trio got up to greet the arriving members, but cast a wary glance at Lucy.
"She's joined with us and we are lucky to have her," Jellal said smoothly and the others relaxed. Lucy couldn't help but blush at how the man complimented her in front of everyone like that. Her heart swelled and Cobra groaned.
"What is withyou?" Lucy asked under her breath, turning around and fixing him with a hard glare.
Cobra stuck his tongue out in a rather undignified way. "You and your pining for Blueballs. It ain't gonna happen, Starbright, so give it up."
"I don't know what you're talking about," Lucy huffed, her cheeks turning red.
"Don't play dumb. It's not a good look on you."
"Get out of my head," she ordered, crossing her arms.
"Sorry, can't. It's my magic, remember?" Okay, so I'm completely bullshitting here. Of course I can get out of her head. It's my magic, it's not on all the time. Like, you don't see Lightning Rod walking around constantly charged with electricity going all Zeus on the world, right? Same thing with me; I can turn it on and off when I want to. Took some training, but I know how to flip the switch. "But glorious, handsome, amazing Cobra, we've always read that you were a victim of these voices." Again, I'm not some fairy from a vampire show. I need you to think critically about this. Oops, I asked too much of you guys.
"Well then just keep things to yourself," Lucy pouted.
"I'd ask the same of you. I don't need to know your lusty thoughts-," as he said the words, Racer began walking towards them and Lucy leaped up to cover Cobra's mouth with her hands.
Racer shot the pair an odd look before saying, "We'll catch up later, Erik. Looks like you've got your hands full."
Lucy sighed before pulling her hands away "—about Blueballs. Damn honey, I don't know where those hands have been. Don't go spreading them all over my face like that." I just couldn't resist it. She's going to get so fucking angry for that comment.
"Just what the hell is that supposed to mean?" Told you.
"It means exactly what you think it means," Cobra said with a sly smile.
"I can't handle you anymore," Lucy said, starting to walk away from the poison slayer.
"That's what she said!" Cobra yelled after her.
END CHAPTER 7
. . .
Guys (and gals, mostly gals actually. At least I hope mostly gals. I mean when I envision who's reading this story about me, I always picture the HOTTEST chicks), someone called me obnoxious in the comments for the last chapter.
I KNOW, RIGHT?! Unpleasant, disagreeable, droll, these are all words that have been used to describe me, but OBNOXIOUS, this is a new one.
I thought about this a lot actually, and the only conclusion I could come up with is this: JELLAL FERNANDEZ LEFT AN ANONYMOUS COMMENT. That's right folks, Blueballs himself. He's the only one that doesn't appreciate my wit. Cause I know all of you do. Cause you've got brains.
So too bad, cause I've never given a fuck about what Blueballs thinks of me. So I'm gonna keep wall breaking cause it's damn fun and I know you love it.
Have no fear, Cobra is here. Chica-chicaaaa…
