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Sokka hadn't really been Sokka since homecoming. Granted, it's only been 2 days, but something about the events of that night hit him pretty hard. He's hidden in his room almost the entire time, only leaving for the occasional bathroom break or raid to the pantry for overly processed food products. Even the latter is much more infrequent than usual.
Currently, Sokka sits on his low-to-the-ground bed with his back against the wall of his room. His computer, sitting atop the desk that runs parallel to his bed blasts out music at such a volume that it reverberates throughout the entire second floor of their house and lightly shakes the door to his room. He lets the sweet lyrics and melodies of Linkin' Park, Nickleback, REM, and many others, attempt to drown out the thoughts running like a blur through his head.
Katara knows, better than anyone, to leave him alone at his point. The music tells her that loud and clear. It's an unspoken code between the siblings that when music is loud enough to be heard through the door, it is just as important, if not more, as a 'Do Not Disturb' sign. And so, Katara leaves him to his own devices, knowing that in a few short days he should be back to his old self: the 'Meat and Sarcasm' loving Sokka.
Unfortunately, it seems to Sokka that this time is different. He hasn't moved for, what seems to be, hours. Yet, it also feels like only a few short minutes have passed. Zoning in and out of his misery, half-hearted and depressed thoughts churn through his head, clouding his senses and blurring his mind.
'Why? Why would she not tell me? Why would none of them tell me? It's like I don't even know them anymore. They all kept this enormous secret from me. Like, I couldn't handle it, or, I would somehow ruin their lives because of it. Almost like they were hiding it just from me, just to spite me. No. No, I know that's not really the case, but it sure feels like it anyways. When I first saw everything, I was so high on adrenaline and trying not to… I don't know… die! It didn't register. Not until after it was over. Then it hit me like a sack of bricks. And it's just gotten worse since.'
'I understand Aang hiding it, I really do. I haven't known him too long, none of us have really. But then again, he did tell Katara. I don't know. Whatever. I'm not mad at Aang. Being the… what's it called? Oh, right. Avatar. Being the Avatar is huge, I guess. He probably just didn't want any chance of the information getting out, and I guess I wasn't the only one who didn't know, so, no hard feelings there I guess.'
'Finding out about Zuko, well, that hurt a little. Knowing that he doesn't trust me with something like that, that's what hurt. But it's understandable, considering he's always so… reserved? He's never been much about talking about himself, especially his past. I didn't even know him until 2 summers' ago, and he was already living with his uncle then. Something about the rest of his family must be pretty messed up for him to … well… be so… hidden, about it all. So, it's understandable, sort of.'
'But, Katara! I'm her brother! I know everything about her. I trust her with everything about me, and she trusts everything about her with me. Or at least, I thought she did. I don't know anymore. It's like I don't know her at all. She can do… whatever that was. And it's amazing. She's already such an amazing person and now she has to go and be that much better. It's almost like she was given that, as compensation for… well… you know. But it's so much more. Who knows? All I know is that it hurts. I can't really explain it, but it's almost like this ache, deep inside my chest… but not. There's also this throbbing… something, in my head, behind my eyes. Or at least, that's where it started. I don't know anymore. I'm just trying to block it out.'
'It's bending, right? Whatever that thing is that the 3 of them do… Right. Katara and her water, no wonder she's always loved swimming way more than most people. Zuko with his fire. How someone so hot-headed can manage to control something so destructive eludes me completely. I guess it makes sense though, in some weird and ironic sort of way. And Aang. He's the avatar. He can control all of it. There are 4 elements? Right? Yeah. And whatever glowy, crazy, 'I'll destroy you' thing that he did just rolls into the package I guess.'
'It makes me wonder who else out there is like them. How many other people can 'bend' stuff? Or even, like Suki, how many are like her? I always knew she was in shape, what with her gymnastics and dance and stuff. But, that was crazy. Those were fans, I think. But they did so much damage, it seems impossible. And she was, like, jumping off walls and practically flying through the air. Those 'knights' had no idea what to do with her.'
'They all have amazing… powers? Abilities? I don't know. But whatever you call it, they are all so incredible, and what about me? Did God decide I wasn't good enough to deserve to be their equal? Am I just supposed to be 'comedy relief' for whatever weird movie we're a part of? Because, it really feels like it. Like we're all part of something bigger, and I'm just a side character. Or better yet, maybe there is no God; maybe there are Spirits, like the stories say. I mean, I always thought that they were just children's' stories, something to spur the imagination. But, if bending is real, then maybe other parts are true.'
'It doesn't matter really. Either way, whatever is out there, it/they must hate me.'
Sometime during his thoughts, Sokka stood and approached his desk, skipping a more upbeat and joyous song on his shuffling playlist and trading it for one that better fit his mood. He had stood by his desk, still zoned into his thoughts, but now, he turned, deciding some fresh air may do him some good, 'clear his head' and all that. Lowering the volume to his music considerably, he pushes in the chair at his desk and makes his way to the drawn curtains of his window. Sliding open the dark curtains to the large window that takes up most of the wall perpendicular to his bed and desk, he is blinded for a moment by the bright setting sun. Seeing the fading sunlight he realizes that he has no idea what time it is, but it must be later than he previously assumed.
The clock on his bedside table reads [6:03] and he realizes he's spent the entire day locked up in his room. Not that it bothers him though. Gliding the window open, he leans out the window and breathes deeply. The cool fall breeze gently brushing against his face. Sokka closes his eyes and just takes the environment in. It definitely lifts his mood, but, unfortunately, this change is short lived.
From below him, Sokka hears a loud, and definitely male, laugh. At first, he thinks his dad must have come home early from his business trip. His father, Hakoda, occasionally used to surprise the family, when both Sokka and Katara were much younger, by coming home earlier than planned. But that hasn't happened in years. Sokka snaps his eyes open, brimming with excitement. But when he opens his eyes, all he sees are his sister and Aang, bending the water in the hot tub below. Retroactively, Sokka recognizes that the laugh was a great deal higher pitched than his father's, but the excitement had clouded this insight at the time.
He hasn't seen his father in over 3 weeks, because his last trip home had been canceled at the last minute. The reminder of this, alone, could have put Sokka in a sour mood. But, in combination with his already poor disposition, it makes it even worse.
Scowling, Sokka closes his eyes again and breathes deeply, trying to cure his mood. A part of him doesn't even know why it's so difficult to accept everything that has happened, but the other part, the logical and scientific side of Sokka, knows exactly why.
After a few minutes of soaking in the fading light and cool evening air, he opens his eyes again. Feeling a tad bit better, Sokka absentmindedly runs his hands through his hair, pulling out the tie holding it in a small ponytail, or 'warrior's wolf tail' as he calls it. Idly scratching his scalp, he decides he should probably shower tonight, because heaven knows that he won't wake up with time to shower in the morning.
'The hot water will do me good. It'll help me clear my head.'
Walking to the shower, he feels a little better already, just thinking about the steaming water helping to work out the kinks in his muscled from all the stress. Not to mention the fact that he is still a little sore from everything that happened Friday night.
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And how right he was. As he finally decided to pull himself from the steamy heaven that was his shower, his head feels much clearer already. 'Maybe I'm being too harsh. I really need to think about this. This is the sort of 'make a list and work both sides' issue.'
When Sokka gets back to his room, he makes sure to leave the music off as he writes down things that work for all sides. Finally coming to the conclusion that, while it may be his right to be mad, anger does not accomplish anything. No harm has been done, other than an entirely bruised ego, and they are his friends. Forgiveness is so much easier than holding a grudge. 'And everyone knows how lazy I am.'
Shortly after coming to this conclusion, a soft know is heard at his bedroom door. 'Katara hear the music- or rather- lack of music.' Sokka sighs loudly as he stands up from his place on his bed. Even though he did reach a positive conclusion, he still isn't ready to face his sister. 'Oh well, here goes nothing. I just hope I don't stick my foot in my mouth.'
Opening the door reveals a very pensive Katara, but her eyes snap open when she sees Sokka standing in front of her. It was almost as if she expected him not to answer. She stands completely still for a moment, searching Sokka's eyes for something, anything. But they show no anger, no disappointment, only the tiredness that every teenager inevitably fails to hide. Finally, she reaches into her pocket to find her communicator, but Sokka stops her. Pulling her into a tight hug, he finally speaks.
"I forgive you Katara, don't worry. You're my sister, how could I not." And now he finally let the wall he had built up over the past few days come crashing down. His face breaks into a large smile. And he can feel Katara's smile pressed into his shoulder. He now also feels a small wet patch in his shirt growing and quickly pulled away from Katara to look into her eyes. "Oh, Katara, you're crying."
She nods, and after a moment, begins to type on her communicator. "I was worried you wouldn't forgive me for keeping something like this from you. I'm truly sorry. I don't know why I did really; I think I was probably just scared. It just seemed so much easier not to say anything. But I'm sorry." The monotonous voice holds no emotion, being robotic and dry. But Sokka remembers back to a time, before Katara lost her voice, when she was very young. At this moment, that voice, from a six or seven year old Katara, was the voice he hears. And it made Sokka cry too, though he'd never admit it to anyone else.
He pulls her into another hug, twin trails of tears running down his cheeks. "Oh, don't cry. Shhh. You're making me cry, and we both know that's not a pretty sight. I understand; I do. Just, remember, I don't keep anything from you, and I expect that in return from now on, ok?" After feeling her both smile and nod into her shoulder, he pulls back, holding her by her upper arms and getting a good look at her face. "It's all in the past, ok?" She nods again, her eyes sparkling, but no longer crying. "Good. Now, you tell anyone I cried because of this, and you're dead, especially Zuko. Got it?" Even though his words are serious, his tone is playful and his smile, along with the twinkle in his eyes, holds only love for his sister. "Alright. Now, I know it's a little early, and I don't know about you, but I've had a bit of a rough weekend, so I'm gonna turn in for the night, ok? I'll see you in the morning."
Katara smiles again, brighter than ever, and pulls him into a quick hug again, before turning. The words "Sleep tight!" sounded through the hall as she passes through the door to her bedroom and shuts it behind her.
Sokka then turns and re-enters his room, closing the door gently behind him. He falls onto the bed, bouncing slightly, and lies still for a moment, contemplating to himself, before reaching to turn his alarm on and turn off his bedside lamp.
Having mentally exhausted himself over the weekend, Sokka is asleep within the minute.
