"…Can I kill that guy? I didn't like the way he looked at me."

"No."

"How about that guy over there? He doesn't look like he'll be missed, an excellent candidate for Lord Jashin!"

"No."

"Can I kill anyone around here?"

"No."

"For crying out loud Kakuzu, where the hell is your sense of fun!?"

Being members of a crime syndicate that was dedicated to global domination through the collecting of gigantic demons, one might assume that such members would remain quiet, mysterious, and try to keep the attention away from themselves. Such assumptions would be correct. This particular pair however, the 'Zombie Duo' Hidan and Kakuzu, were an exception. A loudmouth religious nut paired with a calm, yet short-tempered and greedy mystery man from a small village.

Exasperated, Hidan wiped his arm across the table once more before resting his head down upon it. He ground his teeth back and forth, not wanting to think about how Lord Jashin would be upset with him for not having shed blood in so long.

In comparison, Kakuzu sat calm and collected, holding his cup of tea in one hand, and carefully observing the bill for their food left by the waitress in the other. After what seemed like forever, he put down a small amount of money.

"The amount due seems to be in order. We're leaving, Hidan." Kakuzu announced, setting down his cup gently and standing up.

"Oh well that's just great, isn't it?" Hidan began to complain, loudly bumping against the table upon getting up, and following his partner. All eyes watched them leave while on their way out of both view and earshot.

The day was morphing into night quickly. Shadows from the trees got longer, pure sunlight began to turn into a dim shade of orange, and the temperature in the air lowered more and more. Even the dirt paths that made up much of the roads in the Land of Fire were becoming more and more difficult to see along the entirely shadowed ground. It was this time of day when bandits and other thugs would begin thinking of mugging unsuspecting travelers. But these two men were part of a group that could have very well written the entire book on being bad; they strode along down the road with nothing short of complete confidence.

"So then, where to now?" Hidan asked, pulling out his scythe and laying it horizontally over both shoulders. "You got to pick up your precious money, so we're done stickin' around here, right? Oh by the way, waiting for your seller guy to fork over the ryo took long enough."

"You're the one who wanted to go sightseeing afterwards." Kakuzu interjected. Though conversing, his emerald pupils surveyed the surrounding forest carefully, as if he were scanning for something.

"Pfft, sightseeing? It's not sightseeing!" Hidan laughed. "It's getting something to eat, and taking a rest in a small village for half a day! Walking around all day and not doing much of anything plays on my nerves. On top of the fact, that if I don't cut something soon I'll go crazy!"

Kakuzu rolled his eyes.

"Crazy being a relative term, Hidan."

Reaching a fork, the two turned right. Not long was it when the path began to get narrower and narrower, the forest getting thicker and thicker. Kakuzu turned to his partner, forever furrowed eyebrows making him look terrifying.

"We're on our way to discuss with the leader and some of the others which of two paths we take from here." He said lowly, digressing.

"Eh? What the hell is that supposed to mean? What two paths? And the leader? Why do we need to talk to him again so soon for?" Hidan grumbled, grasping the tail-end of his scythe's handle, and scraping the top-most blade along the ground, just to listen to the sound. Seriously, they got their mission to capture the Two-Tails, why did they need to have another meeting when they hadn't even located the damn thing yet?

"Just shut up and follow me." The second Akatsuki growled, heading into the mouth of a massive overlaying cavern. Though grudgingly, Hidan followed in toe, cocking an eyebrow at how Kakuzu had stopped and made a hand sign upon entering. The mouth of the cavern was slowly enclosed by a huge boulder; being controlled by Kakuzu's chakra, it made the very ground shake until it fit into place, and rendered the inside almost completely void of light.

With only the sounds of their own sandals against the hard stone, Hidan moved his foot around on the ground. Feeling no jagged rocks or other obstacles, he sat down and crossed his legs. Clanging to the floor, his scythe laid beside him.

"A bit much don't you think?" Hidan asked, referencing to the massive boulder.

"You can never be too careful. Now, you know the drill-"

"Yeah yeah, I'm on it, jeez."

Together, the two men closed their eyes and made identical hand signs.

Hundreds of miles away, two additional luminescent holograms sprung into being next to numerous already-existing ones. Dominated by a pale green color, swirls of red and blue-green floated about inside each and every one like a lava lamp. The only feature not distorted and hidden by the hologram's color were the eyes, which stuck out on the images like a light in the dark.

"You're late." A deep, demanding voice spoke out. Though muffled and scratchy through the hologram, the rings around his glaring pupils were enough to convince Hidan to force out a casual apology, despite not having known about this to begin with.

"Don't look at me, Kakuzu's money addiction got the better of him again." The Jashinist said, pitting the blame on his partner and looking up at the ceiling innocently.

Chuckles came from one or two of the holograms. One from a man with small beady eyes and a massive object sitting on his back, and the other a forced chuckle and grunt, from a man with only one of his blue eyes visible thanks to his hair draped over the other.

"At any rate," The apparent leader began. "This meeting will be very brief, that is why you were not told Hidan. Kakuzu however, you know why we're here."

"Yes." Kakuzu replied, not having moved his eyes since his hologram had appeared.

"It's about the Nine-Tails Jinchuriki, right? Hmm." The blue-eyed man said, his tone utterly carefree.

"Yes. As we're all aware, the Leaf Village is in distress at the moment. Surrounding lands are looking very tempted to make some sort of play, perhaps within an alliance with one another. The Leaf's numbers are focused on areas important to keeping invaders from unfriendly lands out." The leader explained.

"Hehehe…another possible war, eh? Now of all times, sounds like things may get interesting." The sinister voice of the man with the beady eyes chimed, thrilled at such a prospect.

"But that's not all." The leader continued, addressing the entire room once more. "We have reliable information that Jiraiya, one of the Legendary Sannin, and the same man who foiled Itachi and Kisame's initial attempt at abducting the Nine-Tails, was assigned a mission far from the village. Jiraiya took the role of the Nine-Tails' teacher some time ago, and is usually close to him, but for the moment, he is out of the way. Furthermore, Kakuzu and Hidan are remarkably close to the Leaf. At this very moment they are inside the Land of Fire, and are only a couple of days' trip from the Hidden Leaf Village."

"Hah, talk about lucky breaks." The man known as Kisame said, turning his eyes to his partner, the man of the sharingan, Itachi Uchiha. "Sounds a bit unfair if you ask me Itachi, he is our target after all. But I guess that's how things turn out sometimes, huh?"

"…"

"Ughhhh, get on with it already, you're boring me to pieces!" Hidan moaned, instantly getting looks from every other holographic member.

"Never did have any patience." Came the low drone of the shortest of the present members. Rounded in shape and low to the ground, he stood next to the blue-eyed man, whom scoffed at his statement.

"Haha, you're one to talk, Sasori my man. Isn't your favorite phrase, 'I don't like to be kept waiting'?"

"Deidara…" Sasori growled threateningly, a large scorpion-like tail erecting from behind him.

"This has gone on long enough." The leader said at last. "Kakuzu, Hidan. Normally we wouldn't act this hastily given our failed attempt to abduct the Nine-Tails the last time, but not taking advantage of this rare opportunity would be foolish. The Leaf's power is spread out all over the nation, and in addition, the Nine-Tails' teacher who is often at his side is temporarily absent. Since you two are so very close at the moment, this is your new order: before you seek out the Two-Tails, go to the Hidden Leaf Village within the next twenty four hours. Seek out Naruto Uzumaki, the Nine-Tails Jinchuriki, and capture him alive by any means necessary."

"Understood." Kakuzu replied darkly.

"Hahaha!" Hidan bellowed, eyes brimming with delight. "Now that's more like it! A chance at some actual bloodshed! Lord Jashin will be most pleased!"

"Make sure you do not fail this mission. Itachi, Kisame, stay on standby for your next orders from me. And as for the rest of you, I expect no less than complete success from you as well. Meeting adjourned."

"You've got it. Come on my man, let's get going. Hmm."

"Hehehehehe, well Itachi, guess we should be going then, too."

"…"

Flickering into nothingness, the leader's hologram vanished without another word. One by one, the other holograms did the same, with the very last being Hidan and Kakuzu.

Feeling returning to their bodies, the Zombie Duo opened their eyes to the infinite darkness of the small cave, and stood back up. Making a sudden hand sign, Kakuzu manipulated the large boulder obstructing the entrance, and made it recede. Almost no light left outside, they could barely use it to walk out and find their way back onto the sliver of path leading back into the woods.

"There." Kakuzu said with relief in his voice. "Now you can leave me alone about why we're out here, and also about how you have 'nothing to cut'."

Hidan's eyes were crazed and bloodthirsty. Spinning his scythe around in the air, he tore into the earth and scraped through it. As if an extension of his hand, he gave a look of pure excitement.

"Heh! I was wrong to doubt you Kakuzu. Just think, the power of Jashin slashing down and bringing judgment to the non-believers of that egotistic village! It makes my skin crawl at the very thought! Let's get going, Kakuzu, we've got a lot of ground to trek in the next day! Hahahaha!"

Kakuzu stood and watched as his partner joyfully ran off into the woods, brandishing his scythe and bringing down tree after tree as he went. Hmmm. Their primary goal would be to quietly abduct the Nine-Tails, and ideally not to have a blowout battle royale with the ninja still in the village. Still, it made the Jashinist happy thinking that was the goal, and it got him off Kakuzu's case for a while. Why spoil his fun this early and hear about it all the way to the village?

"And to think, he was the one whining about how much we have to walk around just a short while ago." Kakuzu mused aloud, taking his time in disappearing into the shaded woods.