Anger's Outcome Ch. 7
Disclaimer: The Winchesters and everything related to them belongs to Kripke and the CW. I am not making a profit from this story.
Author's Note: I hope this chapter fully explains why John is acting the way he is towards Sammy.
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Previously: "Go get your ass in the car" John instructed as he carried his own gear to his truck. He packed his weapons and gear into the lockbox before turning to Dean and saying "Just follow me. I guess were going to take on that hunt Caleb called about earlier than expected."
About an hour into the drive, John glanced into his rear view mirror to make sure that Dean was still following close behind him. As he looked, his attention was instantly drawn to Sam. He had never seen his son looking so forlorn as he saw him now. Sam was slumped down in the seat with his shoulders drooping and a despondent look in his expressive hazel eyes.
"You did that to him" John thought to himself as he continued his trek down the road. "You're the one who is breaking his spirit. How can you do that to your own son?" But then John remembered what he had found out not long ago, what forced him to become the father he was to Sammy now. The demons wanted his son, they wanted his baby boy to lead their army some day.
He had been on a hunt with Bobby in the deep woods of Kentucky . There had been some cattle mutilations and electrical storms going on in the area. John knew without a doubt that the yellow eyed demon was there to mess up another family's life and he and Bobby were determined to stop it. He had left the boys behind since Dean was recuperating from a severe bout with the flu and Sam stayed behind to watch over him in case of a relapse.
He and Bobby had gotten to the Anderson home just as the lights started flickering inside. They broke in the door as they heard a woman scream out in terror. John had raced up the stairs and down the hall, kicking in the doors as he went while Bobby searched the bottom floor. Upon entering the third room, John saw the demon standing over the baby's crib and its mother up on the ceiling.
"Hold it right there you freaking bastard, you aren't going to destroy another family the way you did mine" he had spit out in anger as he pulled his silver loaded pistol from his jeans. It wouldn't kill the demon but it would sure hurt like hell since the bullet was laced with holy water. He watched as the demon turned to face him with an evil smile upon its face.
"You might have stopped me this time Winchester, but you will not stop me from taking your youngest. He's mine and has been since that fateful day when I killed your sweet Mary. Sammy will turn and when he does, he will lead my army. Your baby boy will bring about the destruction to all of mankind"
"You'll never touch him you freaking son of a bitch" John had cursed out in anger. "I'll make sure the kid is strong enough to fight off you and any other demon who tries to turn my boy."
"You can try Johnny boy, but it is already written in stone. Sammy will be mine." With those words the yellow eyed demon had disappeared into thin air leaving John to take care of a very traumatized mother.
John and Bobby had stayed with the woman until her husband had returned from work. The small family was left there sitting in shock as John and Bobby did their best to explain what had happened. They were given a crash course in how to protect themselves before John and Bobby left with John keeping secret the information that he had learned from the demon from Bobby. John knew Bobby was a good man and loved his boys, but he was also a hunter. He had to find out more information before he would let anyone including Bobby know what the demon had said about Sammy.
"I'm sorry Sammy" John whispered as he once again looked into the rearview mirror at his baby boy. "I know I"m being too tough on you and you probably hate me right about now, but I have to make sure you're ready to fight this war on the good side. You're too soft kiddo and God knows I love the way you still can see the innocence in things, but it's that innocence that could get you killed some day. Or worse yet, it could be the reason the demons are able to turn you in the future. I can't allow that to happen, I won't allow that to happen. I'll make sure you're ready to fight when the time comes." John knew the only way to make sure that Sammy was ready was to toughen the kid up and if he had to end up being a bastard to do it, then so be it. Sammy might end up hating him, but at least his baby boy would be strong enough to fight.
John drove on in renewed determination. They would find a place and lay low for a day or two making sure that CPS had not picked up their trail and then they would start the hunt. He knew he shouldn't have blamed Sammy for them getting involved, hell he was the one who had hit the kid in the face while sparring. But he was just so upset and had let the anger run his mouth and rule his actions.. He decided that he would apologize to Sammy once they got to their destination.
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Dean glanced over at Sam as they followed behind their father. They had been on the road for a little over an hour now and Sammy hadn't said a word. He hated the way that Sammy looked so dismal and melancholy. If the kid slumped down any farther then he already was, he would be in the floorboard. Dean knew without a doubt that the kid was probably running their dad's words through his mind again and again. He knew how bad they had hurt and wanted to beat the shit out of John for saying them since Sammy always took everything to heart. But they had to get out of town quick so he had done as his father ordered and packed their gear and left. He would try to make things up to Sammy once they got to where they were going.
Needing to get a conversation started to break the oppressive silence in the car, Dean said "Hey kiddo, you hungry yet?' as he looked over towards his baby brother. Sam jut shook his head no as he continued staring out the window.
"Come on Sammy, I know you haven't had anything to eat since lunch at school. You want me to stop at the next store so you can at least get a snack or something?" Dean asked once again trying to get Sammy to talk to him, but failed as Sammy just shrugged his shoulders in response. "Damn it Dad" Dean thought as he slapped the steering wheel in frustration. "I could kick you in the ass for breaking his spirit like this."
Sam jumped when he heard Dean hit the wheel in frustration. "Shit. Maybe Dean's mad at me now too" he thought as he glanced warily over towards Dean. "Maybe dad's right, maybe I am worthless and a selfish brat. Sooner or later Dean's going to get tired of taking care of my sorry ass too and then where will I be?" Sam took a hitching breath as he though about Dean leaving him behind. He really couldn't deal with this life if he didn't have Dean there to support him.
"Sammy, what's wrong?" Dean asked in concern after hearing Sam's breath hitch.
"Nothing" Sam answered not wanting Dean to be anymore upset with him than he already was.
"Come on Sam, talk to me. What's going on in that head of yours?" Dean pushed knowing that Sammy needed to open up.
"It's just, Dean I didn't, never mind" Sam's words jumbled out as he became more upset and the tears sprang to his eyes.
"You didn't what Sammy?" Dean prodded hating the tremor that he heard in Sam's voice.
"I didn't report dad to CPS. I didn't try to get him in trouble on purpose, I swear I didn't. Oh God, please don't be mad at me too, I can't take it anymore if you're going to hate me too" Sam gasped out as he finally allowed his grief to overtake him. He'd been holding things back far too long and couldn't stop once the damn finally broke. Sam raised his hands to his face and sobbed uncontrollably as his body began to shake. "Dad's right, I ain't worth a shit."
Dean immediately pulled the Impala over to the side of the road as Sammy began to cry. Throwing the gearshift into park, he reached over and pulled Sammy to him and rested Sam's head on his shoulder as he gently ran his fingers through his hair. "Don't you ever let me hear you say that again Sammy. Dad's wrong, do you hear me little brother? You're worth more than the two of us put together. If it wasn't for you, I would have given up a long time ago. I need you in my life. You hear me Sam?"
Sam raised his head and stared intently into Dean's eyes to see if he truly meant what he was saying. "You're not m-mad at me?" Sammy questioned as he took a shuddering breath.
"Hell no, I'm not mad. I could never be mad at you kid. Sure, you might piss me off sometimes and make me want to punch you lights out, but I could never really be mad at you." Dean said with conviction in his voice.
"Th-thanks bro" Sammy said as he once again rested his head on Dean's shoulder. He knew he had caused one of Dean's dreaded chick flick moments but he couldn't stop the words once they started pouring out.
"You don't need to thank me Sammy, you're my brother and I'll always love you." Dean said as he looked out the window to see his dad sitting on the side of the road up ahead. He could see his dad looking at them through the back window and thought to himself that he could damn well wait because he wasn't going anywhere til Sammy pulled himself together.
A few moments later, Sam took a deep breath and sat up pulling away from Dean. He wiped his shirt sleeve across his face and said "M'sorry for pushing a chick flick moment on you dude. You probably think I'm weak huh?"
"Nope, not weak, just a girl" Dean smirked as he playfully tousled Sammy's hair to lighten the mood.
"Gee thanks" Sam said as a smile crossed his face at hearing Dean's snide comment.
"Anytime little brother" Dean said as he flicked the lights and pulled out onto the road once again letting his dad know that they were ready to move on. At least he had put a small smile on Sammy's face and lightened the mood somewhat. Now he just had to make sure their didn't finish breaking his spirit when they arrived at their next destination.
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John had immediately stopped and pulled over as soon as he noticed Dean pulling off the road. He wondered what possible reason Dean could have for stopping knowing that he wanted to get as far away as possible before finding a place to stop. He opened his door and was climbing out of the truck when he looked back to see Dean pulling Sammy to him and cradling his head on his shoulder. He couldn't tell from where he was standing, but he figured Sam was most likely crying from the look on Dean's face. Deciding that Dean could handle the situation, he climbed back into his truck to wait until his boys were ready to leave again.
He watched as Sammy lifted his head and wondered what Dean was saying to him. He knew they were most likely talking about the scene at the house and he felt guilty for the pain it was putting Sammy through now. That guilt only increased as he watched his baby boy rub his sleeve across his face, "I'm so sorry kiddo" he whispered once again. After a few minutes, he saw Dean give the signal and he pulled onto the road once again. They had a job to do.
TBC
