Chapter 7: People Like Us Never Really Change

Iowa City, Iowa - Motel Room.

'Hey, this is Sam, leave me a message.' Dean released a long, tired groan as he once again heard the message of Sam's voicemail at the other end of the phone. He was fast becoming frustrated and, although he would never admit it to another person, he was getting worried about his brother. He had suddenly taken off without so much as a text to say where he was going. That had been nearly two days ago. Dean had considered maybe he was still pissed at him for not telling him about Natalie, but Sam had said that he was over it. He didn't know. He just wanted to know that he was okay. And the fact that Sam was constantly refusing to answer the phone wasn't reassuring him at all.

He turned sharply at the sound of a key being pushed into the other side of the door, only expecting it to be Sam. He opened his mouth, ready to give his kid brother an earful for wandering off the way he had done, but closed it again at the sight of his sister.

"Natalie?" he looked her up and down slowly, a confused frown on his face. "You're back?" It came out as more of a question than a statement. Everything else had gone completely from his head at the sight of her. He didn't know what to say.

A few days ago she couldn't get away from them fast enough, and, honestly, he didn't expect that he would see her again before his deal came due. But there she was, standing in front of him, eyebrows raised and half a smirk on her face.

"Not much gets by you, huh?" she said lightly. She stepped further into the room and forced herself to give him a small smile. "But we need to talk." she added seriously. "Before this can work, we need to talk."

Dean's eyebrows shot up. "Before this can work?" he repeated, unsure that he had even heard her right. It wasn't like her at all to do something like that, something big must have happened for her to change her mind so fast. He nodded slowly, because he wasn't passing it up. He completely agreed with her on that one. "Yeah," he said simply. "How about we go for a beer?" He knew there was a bar within three minutes of the motel, and she was less likely to punch him if they were in a public place.

Natalie shrugged. "Sure," she nodded, like it couldn't bother her less. "Whatever."

Dean took that as a yes and grabbed his jacket from the back of one of the chairs at the table before he picked up his car keys from the table. "Let's go."

The two of them headed into the bar and looked between each other, as if they were simultaneously saying the same thing to the other without needing to open their mouths. In the months they had spent together they had fallen into a routine, and it still stuck. Dean headed towards the bar and nodded over at one of the waitresses for a couple of beers, while Natalie headed over towards one of the tables near the back of the room.

She pulled off her jacket and dropped down into one of the seats heavily, resting her forehead against her palms for a minute as she let out a deep breath. Her eyes fell to where Dean stood at the bar, a twang of guilt feeling in her chest. It wasn't that she wanted to be away from him, it was the life, and she knew that if she told him that he wouldn't take it. He never let her back down from anything, he always made she that she fought everything straight on, and that he was right beside her to help.

Dean crossed the room again and dropped himself down into the chair opposite his sister's before he turned his attention back to her face. "So," he began lightly, placing one of the beers down in front of her. "I take it, since you're here, Sam came to see you?" he asked, a knowing look on his face. "I wondered where he'd gotten to." he added, more to himself than to her.

She nodded. "Yeah, he knows all of it, Dean." she told him blankly, her voice low. "I told him everything."

Dean blinked, a little taken aback. "Wow. That's not like you." he commented. He knew Natalie would rather shoot herself in the leg than tell someone, even if it was her own brother, the most personal details of her life. "How come?"

Natalie shrugged. "I don't know," she shook her head and took a drink of the beer, her eyes fixed on the table. "I guess because he was starting to think that you'd done something awful to make me so mad at you. That's not fair on you."

Dean sighed. "Look, Nat, whatever you might think, I'm not proud of the things I said to you that night, hell, that whole week I was a dick." he paused for a second and took a small breath. "You lost someone close to you and I should have been there for you, I shouldn't have treated you the way that I did. Some of the things I said to you were just.." he trailed off, shaking his head at himself. "It wasn't your fault."

"Yeah, well, I meant what I said, it wasn't yours either." she said quietly.

"Hm." Dean didn't respond to that for a minute, but since they were already well on their way to being in a chick flick moment, he decided he might as well get it all out. "I know I can't take it back, but if I could, I'd take back that entire week. Think how much different things would've been. You wouldn't have ended up in prison, Sammy would've known you two years ago. Hell, things might have gone differently with Dad for all we know -"

"Hey." she stopped him before he could say anything more. "Come on, don't start thinking things like that. It's done, we can't change it. It's all in the past, we can't do anything about it so we might as well forget it."

"Still," he sighed. "I never really said that I was sorry about that night, about everything I said to you. I didn't mean it, Natalie, you know that, right?"

Natalie shook her head. "I'm not angry, Dean. I'm not." she admitted quietly, finally looking up at him. "That's not what this is about." Dean frowned at her, like he was anxious of what she was about to tell him. "Truth is," she paused, looking as though she was struggling to find the words. "I'm scared."

Dean blinked, genuinely surprised. That was the last thing he had ever expected to hear come out of her mouth. She had barely ever shown any fear to him before. Every single hunt, no matter what it was, she showed no sign of being afraid, she was never even nervous, she just got on with it. The hunt they had taken together just a couple of days earlier, she had been perfectly calm and together with it. She had dealt with it in the way that she had been trained to do, never letting her front down.

"You're what?" he pressed, not sure what she could mean she was scared of.

She pulled a hand down her face and took a short breath. "That, what happened then, with Dylan, it scared the hell out of me, Dean." Her voice was soft and timid, in a way that he knew meant she didn't want to tell him, but she didn't have a choice anymore. She couldn't keep lying to him.

And then something hit Dean. "I knew it." he said, straightening himself up in his chair to look at her properly. "I could tell by your damn face that you weren't still pissed at me." he said seriously, sounding more annoyed that he had allowed himself to become convinced that she was still angry. "I spent all this week trying to work out why you were holding such a grudge at me, and you weren't. You were running, this whole time."

Natalie sighed, shaking her head, she clearly wasn't proud of herself. "Look, Dean, I'm sorry." she whispered, taking a breath to compose herself. "I know I should've told you the truth, but I didn't want you to think that I was being pathetic. And I know if I would've told you that I was scared you would have made me stay with you, that's what you're like, you talk people around. But hunting scares me. I mean, I'm scared that someone's gonna get hurt, that someone else is gonna die." she finally looked up at him again, her eyes swimming with emotion. "I'm scared that I'm gonna get someone killed."

"Natalie," Dean closed his eyes for a second, he hated when she was hurt like that, it wasn't like her. "Sis, I keep telling you, it's okay if you're scared sometimes. I've been telling you that since the day I met you. Being a hunter doesn't mean that you have to be invincible, you don't have to shoulder everything on your own and never be afraid, that's what I'm here for." He offered her a reassuring smile and nodded. "You're good at this job, Nat. Don't let one bad experience change that."

"Dean," she sighed heavily, she knew what he was thinking and it wouldn't work. "You need to get it out of your head that we can just go right back to the way we were before. We're not those people anymore. You can't keep kidding yourself that everything's just gonna be the same as it used to be."

"Why can't we be?" Dean countered, a small frown on his face. "People like us never really change, Natalie. You know that. You saw us back on that hunt, fighting those demons, you know we're still a team." A small smirk tugged at the edge of his lips. "I know you do."

Her eyes found his, holding his gaze for a moment. She could see that he trusted her, he had faith in her, he wanted her to stay. It was as though she suddenly remembered everything from the past, she allowed the anger she was trying her best to hold onto leave her. Truth was, she had forgiven her brother a long, long time ago. It was the hunting life that she was angry at, and Dean was always the one she had tried to pin her frustration on, maybe as an excuse not to ever go back to it, she didn't know. But she knew that he regretted not heading to find her sooner, she regretted not calling him for help sooner, they were both in the same boat. They were finally on the same page again, and she didn't want to walk away from him again. She was done running.

"So?" Dean pressed when she said nothing, he took a drink of his beer and raised his eyebrows expectantly. "You sticking around then, or what?"

Natalie considered him for a moment, there wasn't anything stopping her anymore. Except one thing. What Sam had said, or almost said, earlier had stuck with her. And the more she had thought about it, the more things she had picked up on about the two of them. Dean was way more reckless than he had ever been before, he was living his life like he was ready to die, like he was willing to die. Sam was looking at him as though he was losing him, as though he expected the earth to just open up and swallow him away. There was something between them that they didn't want her to know. They were keeping something a secret, between the hushed conversations they had and the way that they would suddenly stop talking when they would notice her coming, pretending like everything was fine, she knew something was wrong. She wasn't stupid, she knew it had to be something big.

"That depends," she said simply, leaning back in her seat and folding her arms over her chest. Dean quirked an eyebrow at her, saying nothing. "I wanna know what's going on between you and Sam."

That took Dean by surprise, he clearly hadn't been expecting her to say anything like that. He thought for a second what she could mean, only able to arrive at one conclusion in his mind, but no, that was him being paranoid, wasn't it? There was no way that she could've worked that out already, they hadn't even been together more than a few days, she barely even knew Sam, how could she have already noticed that there was something off about them? Unless she really could read him more than he thought she could.

He cleared his throat, pushing back the plaguing thoughts, and frowned, playing it dumb. "Excuse me?" he asked, acting as though he didn't have the faintest idea what she could be getting at.

Natalie scoffed, as if to tell him that he wasn't fooling her for a second. "I wanna know what's going on." she said again. "I wanna know what this big secret is between the two of you. The one you're trying so hard to make sure I don't find out about."

Dean shook his head at her. "Natalie -"

But she suddenly sat forwards again, taking him a little by surprise. "Don't treat me like a fucking idiot, Dean." she snapped. "I know you, and I know when you're lying. I know when you're hiding something, so tell me, because I'm not sticking around here otherwise."

Dean frowned. She had always put up with a lot, she was fairly easy-going about most things, but the one thing that she would not take from anyone was being lied to. "What?"

Natalie just looked at him, her expression never changing. "You heard me." she said flatly. "You don't trust me, fine. But I am not sticking around just so you can lie to my face."

Dean sighed, he couldn't tell her. Or could he? He didn't want her to know, he didn't want to see her looking at him the same way that Bobby and Sam were always looking at him. Maybe she was different, maybe she would understand why he had done it, maybe she would be okay about it and not make a fuss. But, then again, maybe she would leave. Maybe she wouldn't want to have to deal with the drama, maybe she wouldn't want to get close to him again because she knew what would happen in less than a year. He didn't know.

"Natalie," he tried to think up something to answer with, but he didn't know what to say. "It's not like that."

She shook her head at him, he could tell that she was becoming frustrated, she was worried about him. "Just tell me," she pressed. "What the hell can be so bad that you can't even tell your own sister? I mean, there was a time that I'm pretty sure you would have told me anything. Hell, you did. You told me everything about your life, even the stuff that you wouldn't tell dad and Sam. Why is this different?"

Dean nodded. She was right. It wasn't different. She was still the same girl who he had once been closer to than anyone else. She was still the girl that knew pretty much every single detail of his life. There wasn't anything to take away what she already knew.

"Look, there's no easy way to say this, but," he took a small breath and gave a shrug of his shoulders. "I'm going to hell, Natalie."

"Yeah," she scoffed. "Aren't we all."

Dean smiled a little. "No, seriously." Her eyes met his, a small frown furrowed at her brows. "You, uh, you remember when I told you about making deals with demons? Selling your soul at the crossroads, hellhounds dragging you to the pit when your time's up, the whole nine?"

Her face went pale at his words, she looked like she wanted to be sick. "You didn't." she shook her head slowly. "Dean, please tell me you haven't sold your soul."

He nodded. "A couple of weeks ago." he told her quietly. "I just, I didn't have a choice, kid."

Natalie opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, because what the hell was she supposed to say to that? She ran a hand through her hair, resting her forehead against the back of her hands as she stared down at the table in front of her. She thought through what he was saying for a moment until something hit her. "A couple of weeks ago?" she repeated, looking up at him again. "So, you've got nearly ten years left, right?" Dean wet his lips, saying nothing. "Right?" she pushed, almost pleading with him to say yes.

"I only got a year." he replied solemnly. "I've got less than a year left before I go to hell, Natalie."

"Jesus Christ, Dean." she shook her head in disbelief and pulled a hand down her face. That couldn't be real. In a year he would be gone, dead and in hell. It seemed surreal, he had only just come back into her life, and soon he was leaving again. She felt like she could cry, just sit there and cry to him, but what was the point in that? It never solved anything.

"Natalie." Dean pushed, becoming a little wary about how little she was saying to him. It freaked him out when she looked as distant as she did right there, she would barely even look at him.

"What do you want me to say, Dean?" she suddenly asked him, sitting up a little straighter and dropping her hands down to rest on the table. "I mean, what do you really think I can say to you right now? What are you expecting?" He blinked, now lost himself as to what to say. "I mean, do you expect me to be okay about it? You want me to cry? What? You're telling me that you've sold your soul, yeah? You've pretty much killed yourself. You tell me, how the hell am I supposed to react to something like that?"

"Natalie -" he tried, but she wasn't letting up.

"Is that why you came to find me?" she asked him seriously. "Because you'd sold your soul? Because you knew you had a year to live?"

Dean nodded slowly. "I couldn't go to hell with us like that." he admitted quietly. "That wasn't who we were, it wasn't what we were supposed to be. You're my sister, Nat. I need you."

And that was when she knew everything was serious with him. He never admitted to needing people, he would never come out and say that unless he really was scared that he was going to lose someone. And she could see in his face right there, he thought she was going to walk away again. He thought that telling her that was once again driving her away.

"Nat," he struggled for something to say for a moment. "Please don't be angry."

Natalie sighed, she wasn't angry at him, of course she wasn't. She was hurt. The idea that he wasn't going to be around forever, it physically pained her. She didn't want him to leave. "I hope it was worth it." she commented bluntly.

Dean nodded. "Yeah, it was." he answered confidently, not even hesitating.

Natalie nodded, she didn't even have to ask what he had dealt for, she could guess. Something had happened to Sam and Dean had given up his life in a heartbeat to save him without thinking about it. That was the only thing he cared enough about to die for so quickly. She knew that. She didn't want to talk about it with him, not yet, she didn't want to get upset, she didn't want him to see her like that. She didn't think that either of them could stand the heart to heart talk for much longer.

But she wasn't going anywhere, Dean had plenty of time to tell her everything that she needed to know. He had his sister back, and that was all that really mattered to him.


One hour later

Sam looked up from his laptop as the door to the motel room swung open. He watched as Dean headed inside first, almost holding his breath to see if there was someone behind him. For a second, when he didn't see her, he thought that she had once again bailed. That she was gone and had given up on both of them, that he wouldn't see her again. But then she appeared behind him, also heading into the room. She gave him a small smile as she closed the door behind herself and pulled off her jacket.

Dean shot Sam a look, as if to tell him that he would deal with him later, but Sam didn't miss the grateful look in his eyes. He knew that Dean had wanted her back, but he had just been too stubborn to go and find her again himself, so he had done it without him. And now she was back, everything was fixed.

"I'm gonna take a shower." Dean said bluntly, not saying anything else before he headed to the bathroom and pulled the door closed behind himself, leaving the two of them alone.

Sam noticed the smile fade from Natalie's face as soon as Dean had turned away from her. There was something that shone in her eyes that already looked like loss. It was a look that he recognised all too well, because he saw it in his own eyes every time he looked into the mirror.

"He told you, huh?" Sam said quietly, the sound of his voice appeared to make her jump a little, as though she had been so far in her own thoughts she hadn't even remembered there was someone else in the room with her.

Her eyes tore away from the bathroom door as she looked to him. "Yeah," she nodded, moving to sit down in the seat opposite his. "He told me." she said softly. She sounded vacant, like her mind was still a million miles away from the conversation.

"He's not going to hell, Natalie." Sam told her firmly. He sounded more confident about it that he had done in a couple of days, and he wasn't sure if that was for her benefit or his own. "I won't let him die. Trust me on that."

"So, that's what all this research is?" she asked him, realising that every time she had seen him since she had met him he'd had a book in his hand, or he had been on his laptop, or on the phone. He was always doing something. "And there was me thinking that you were just a nerd." she added lightly.

Sam sighed, a small smile forming on his face. "Yeah," his eyes fell to the stack of books that were piled up on the edge of the table, the ones he had yet to read. "Don't really know where to look, so I guess I've just gotta look everywhere."

Natalie nodded slowly, her eyes studying him for a moment. He watched as she pushed herself up and crossed the room to where she had dumped her bag down, raising his eyebrows as she pulled out a pair of black glasses and put them on. She moved to sit back down and grabbed the book at the top of the pile before she leaned back in her chair and rested her boots up on the table casually. He continued to look at her, as if he was asking her what she was doing.

"What?" she asked defensively. "You'll have him saved twice as fast if there's two of us at it." she commented simply, but Sam didn't stop staring at her. There was something like disbelief in his eyes, a look that she wasn't too sure of. "What?" she asked again.

"Nothing, it's just," he paused, allowing the small smile tugging at the corner of his lips to break out. "I'm glad you're here, Natalie."

Natalie smiled at him. "Yeah," she nodded. "Me, too." Their gaze held for a moment before they both looked down to the books in front of them. Suddenly, it was as though everything was right how it was supposed to be. Everything was right again.


Aw, good to have Sam and Natalie working together to try and break Dean's deal, and it's good that Dean finally told her about it! But, Winchesters aren't ones to take bad news well, we all know that. So, is that really the end of Natalie's reaction to finding out her brother is well on his way to hell?

And, speaking of Natalie and Sam, a heads up for the next chapter; you can look forward to there being a pretty deep and personal heart to heart between the two of them, one that will bring them closer together and also reveal more about her past.

I know that this chapter was shorter than usual but I've been super busy the past couple of weeks and haven't really had the time to do much writing. So, rather than keep you waiting for a longer chapter, I decided to post a shorter one because I didn't want to leave it without an update!

And for those asking I'll also be updating my new story, Secret Diary Of A Winchester, either later on today or tomorrow. Oh, and to those of you who are fans of sister fics, the editor of this story, loveintheimpala, has just posted up a new one on her account called I Know You're In There, which is really good, so check it out if you're interested.

As usual, thank you so much for reading and reviewing, for favouriting and following, it means the world to me! Have a great week guys, see you next chapter! :-)