Edward
Alice's words were so incomprehensible; I had to get away for a while. I knew it would break Esme's heart for me to leave but I need to think, Denali is far enough away that I can, without interruptions. I hope Alice didn't find my note before Carlisle and show everyone, she can be so annoying.
I'd be in Alaska in 3 more hours, according to the pilot on the plane. I just hoped Carlisle didn't call Tanya to get her to give him updates, or make me call him. I wished sometimes that Carlisle didn't care as much as he did. I just need some time to sort through my own mess of a life. But he did care, and sometimes that was nice, most of the time.
I wonder if what Alice said could be true, about Sarah, could she like me. Honestly, as much as I'd like to have someone who loves and misses me as more than a sibling or parent, but Sarah was way too good, too nice and kind to want me. I was nothing, and I was cold and I've never loved someone, not in the sense of a couple. She deserves someone worthy of her presence, and I'm not. It sucked, it really did suck! Would she laugh in my face if I asked her out? Probably not, but it would be a pity date, one she didn't want to have to go on. But it would be something, right? No…I won't impose anything on her, I'll let this run its course.
Finally, Alaska, a place to think without being interrupted, hopefully I can get everything straitened out.
I ran from the airport to Tanya's home. It felt so good to run, to move so fast after being still for so long on that stupid plane ride, now I tried not to think, to focus on my breathing. Before I knew it I was at Tanya's front door, I'd called ahead so they were expecting me; Tanya was actually at the door when I arrived.
I thought she was acting a little strange; she was really friendly and kept looking down every time I smiled at her, I didn't know what else to do so I just went along with it, I copied some of her mannerisms at first, trying to match the mood, but I gave up, it was too tiring, I'll give it a try another time if she's still acting like this later.
"Hey Tanya, how are you?" I realize it was a really lame way to start a conversation but what am I supposed to say.
"Oh um, hi Edward, I'm fine thanks. What about you? What brings you up to Denali?" Tanya was slowly going back to her usual self.
"I'm alright. I thought a change of scenery would do me some good, help me clear my thoughts, plus it's been too long since I visited last." I was trying to make polite conversation, but she smiled shyly at me and batted her lashes.
I wonder if he likes me, he's kind of hinting at that. Her thoughts rang in my ears. Great more girl drama, it looks like I won't be staying too long after all.
"Um, so do you mind if I put my bag in the guest room?" I was basically looking for any excuse to leave the conversation.
Well I guess I should ask him if he's still single or if he needs someone to talk to about whatever is making him troubled.
"Of course right this way Edward" Tanya was smiling again, I guess she forgot about the whole mind reading thing, this is going to be a long few days, I can't exactly hop on the next flight out of here. I suddenly wish someone would come get me, that way I'd have an excuse to leave and not hurt their feelings.
Of course that wouldn't happen. I had told them not to send anyone to get me and now I had to live with my decision. Well, I guess it wouldn't be that bad, I could go for a run in the woods and think things through then, its not like Tanya will want to be with me all the time, I'm sure she will leave me alone, won't she?
I wonder what he's thinking. He is so cute when he thinks; his eyes go all distant and shiny-Oh he might catch me starring at him. STOP STARRING!
She definitely forgot I could hear her thoughts; sometimes it was a really annoying gift. I'll just put my bag down and go for a run.
"Edward, did you maybe want to go for a run, in like ten minutes or so?" Maybe Tanya could read minds now too.
"Oh…um, sure that would be great." I gave her a friendly smile and set my bag down. It couldn't be that bad, right?
