Chapter 7 - The Bleed

"Caroline - sorry. Kate's driven herself in to hospital. She's bleeding. I didn't know if you would want me to tell you or not."

"Which hospital?"

"You've got meetings ... and most of them we wont be able to re-schedule now until after Christmas."

"She'll be at St. Margaret's."

Caroline jumped in the jeep, gunned the gas and drove like a bat out of hell to St. Margaret's Hospital. She entered the very busy visitors car park and pulled straight into a space that somebody else had been patiently waiting for.

By way of an apology she yelled ..

"Sorry! Emergency!"

as she bolted across the car park in her very tight fitting dress and for once regretting that she was wearing such a murderous pair of heels. She quickly found the Maternity Wing and clocked the sign for the for the Outpatients Waiting Room. Only then did she stop to momentarily compose herself before walking in and sitting down next to Kate.

Their conversation was emotionally strained and Caroline clearly tripped herself up by revealing that she knew exactly how far gone Kate was.

"Kate McKenzie?" The nurse called and Caroline not wanting Kate to do this on her own, offered to go in with her and Kate accepted her offer immediately, without any qualms.

Caroline's eyes focussed on the scan. There was a little girl growing inside Kate's belly and here she was with Kate holding her hand and the bleed hadn't affected this precious unborn child. For a moment - just a moment she felt intrinsically connected to both of them. It all seemed so natural and right.

And then Kate let go of her hand with a polite "sorry" and Caroline again felt that acute physical pain hit her hard, right in the middle of her chest. Her heart was bleeding. She quickly tried to wave the emotion away and excused herself leaving Kate to speak with the nurse.

She was grateful for a moment to once again regain her composure so that she could try and persuade Kate to take some time off.

Kate soon joined her and they walked together in silence to the car park. When they got to Kate's car Caroline looked directly into those deep dark eyes, searching for any sign ...

"Kate ... I really think that it would be sensible if you took a little time to yourself at least for the rest of today. I will get cover for your last lesson so that you can go home and rest for a while.

You know that if any of the Governors were to hear about this incident they would almost certainly want you to take you maternity leave starting right now."

Kate was about to object, but thought better of it.

" Thank you Caroline, I will go home and rest. Today has shaken me up a bit and I feel quite weary now."

"But the news is good - isn't it? You've seen your baby's heart beating strongly and all is well? Kate I am really quite concerned that you are alone in all this apart from your mum?"

"Don't be Caroline. I am managing very well and mum has been my rock as ever and now I know that the baby is safe ... "

"But what about when the baby arrives? What happens if you go into labour and your mum can't get to you in time?"

"Then I guess I will manage on my own."

Caroline almost lost her composure again ...

"Oh Kate. I know that there is no way back for us, but I would ... will be here to support you if ..."

"It's OK Caroline. I made my bed and so now I guess I have to lie in it. Thank you for today."

"OK. Bye bye then."

Once again searching ... but Kate turned, loaded her bag in her car, got in and pulled out of the car park without a backward glance.

Caroline was bereft, but having walked out on her very tight schedule at school, she knew that she had to get back to try and rescue what was left of her day.


When Kate got home she was feeling exhausted with both the relief of knowing that her baby was alive and she was going to give birth to a baby girl.

There was no void in her belly now. That space that had caused so much heartache, was rapidly disappearing as this new life developed to satisfy her lifelong craving. But now there was a much larger cavernous empty space that she herself had created. And yet again, she had rejected Caroline at point blank range. Caroline, the woman who cared enough for her to just walk out of her school to ensure that Kate was not alone; Caroline, the woman who she had loved from the very first moment they met; Caroline, the woman who had shared her bed and her deepest feelings; Caroline the woman who she had punished because she had been unsure of Kate's overwhelming desire to try and get pregnant one last time. And the hurt that she had inflicted on Caroline yet again was clearly evident in those piercing blue but very watery eyes.

She made herself a cup of herbal tea and went and ran a bath. Stepping out of her clothes she looked at the profile of her body in the mirror. She was blooming, her baby was alive and growing exactly as she should be. Her lifelong desire would soon be satisfied but she was as unhappy as she had ever been.

Without Caroline in her life, regardless of the Elliot household mayhem, she felt utterly miserable. She had turned down all Caroline's pleadings for forgiveness and promises of doing better purely because she was so bloody stubborn. And she knew this full well but had no idea how the situation could ever be changed now or in the future.


Caroline arrived home from school late after trying to make up some of the time that she had lost earlier. Laurence was home playing on his Xbox as usual.

"Hi Ma. What's for dinner. I'm starving and you're late!"

"Think it will have to be a takeaway tonight. It's just too late for me to prepare anything and I need some time to wind down.. Will you please order a pizza, Chinese ... anything ... I don't mind - whatever you fancy is OK.

I'm going for an early bath and to get changed. Shout me when it arrives please."

"Great - I'll order right now and shout you later."

Caroline kicked off her shoes and went upstairs to the peace and quiet of her bedroom. She ran a bath and added some soothing essential oils whilst she stripped off her clothes. When she was ready she got in and completely submerged herself under the warm balmy water wishing that she could just lie there and breathe under the water and just make the world go away – even just for this evening.

She held her breath for as long as she could and then finished bathing knowing that Lawrence would call any moment now to say that dinner had arrived.

Her heart was truly bleeding but she would do like she always had done – stiff upper lip, get into full headmistress mode and just carry on as normal. The only real issue was that she had no idea what 'normal' was anymore.

But - she had a wedding to plan and she was going to make it a memorable event for everyone.