I removed the hand he had placed over mine on the restaurant table. I wished the restaurant was more crowded and noisy so that he possible couldn't throw a scene and it would be harder to overhear us.

"I can't accept your proposal."

I couldn't go through with stringing him along. I couldn't make him raise a child not knowing he wasn't the father. It would possible be worse than removing the child all together.

"I don't know how to react when one has his proposal turned down?"

Once I had loved the idea of teaching him how to be a good boyfriend and I flattered myself with the idea that perhaps he would one day propose and I would teach him to be a good husband. Before the war it sounded like my dream. I could teach him and shape him just as I wanted him.

Now it seemed like a nightmare.

I needed someone with their own mind and opinions, someone with their own morals, codes and behavior. I didn't want to save and shape Sai anymore. I never loved him; I just loved what I could do with him and the fact that he seemed to be the only one interested in me. He still was, but my life and eventually faith had taken me elsewhere.

"It's not you, it's me."

This he knew. This was a textbook break up.

"So you are not just turning down my proposal, you're breaking up?"

I wish he could have looked sad, not just analyzing the situation.

"I… I cheated on you and I think breaking up is the best thing to do."

He took a sip of his coffee. He had read about situations like these, he knew you weren't supposed to be romantically involved with others when you were in a relationship. The rules were often unclear when dating, but he had asked her to be his and she had promptly and joyfully said yes.

"I don't mind that you cheated, with whom?"

He leaned forward watching me as if I was telling an interesting story about something that happened at work and I couldn't live with someone like that. I couldn't be with someone who didn't know how to behave to serious matters like these.

"We don't have to breakup for my sake."

I shook my head. We definitively needed to break up for every single reason known to me.

"It's not important with whom. I did it because I don't love you. I'm sorry, you'll make a great husband for someone else. It just can't be with me."

I threw a bill on the table and got up. I wanted him to fight for me. He was already willing to forgive my transgression but that wasn't because he loved me. He was willing to look past it because he didn't care that I had been with someone else.

He straightened his back and went back to drinking what was left of his coffee. He wouldn't stop me or fight with me because he didn't love me. He was looking for a female partner and I was one of the few that hadn't been taken. He hadn't been with me out of love, it had been availability and I couldn't be upset at him for it. It had been the same reason why I had been with him. Saying anything else would be lying and I had been lying to myself.

I made my way to the door pushing it open I almost slammed it in Sakura's face.

"Oh! Hey, Ino!"

Sasuke was standing behind her. They were probably here to have some sort of romantic dinner to celebrate their love and I had just dumped my first and only boyfriend. It was ironic.

"We haven't seen you since that morning at Itachi's."

Just like that Sai had gotten to know whom. I knew he had heard and I could see him nod. To him it made sense that I would break up with him to move on to someone better like Itachi.

I walked out on the street and closed the door behind me.

"Yeah… It was a onetime thing really. I don't have any reason to have any further contact with him."

It sounded too forced and constructed even for Sasuke who wrinkled his nose.

"Isn't the fact that you like him reason enough?"

Sakura grabbed for her boyfriend's arm proud at his response. I laughed, rather cruelly. Had we been first graders my dislike for him would be a perfect cover up for actually liking him. Truth was that I wasn't a child and as a grown up you dislike people because you don't like them.

"Surely you both know the effects of alcohol."

It was a good cover up. One could blame too much on being drunk in our time. It was too easy and explained everything.

"Besides, there's Sai. He knows what I've done and he's fine with it."

I hadn't technically told a lie. He knew and he had been fine with it. Sakura looked surprised. She had forgotten all about my relationship with Sai. Sasuke on the other hand had full control; I think he just wanted to see his brother happy with someone.

"But still, I would appreciate it if you didn't go around telling about it."

Sakura nodded. She assumed it must be embarrassing for Sai that his woman had been with someone else.

With a nod I left them having slumbered whatever good mood they might have had about their date. They had gone fishing and I didn't feel guilty that they hadn't caught what they were hoping to catch.

I strolled through the street taking every known short cut my fears were still confirmed. Actually getting to the breakup part had taken longer than expected. I still had history and good memories with Sai, I couldn't just spring it on him, then it had taken me some time to actually dare to break up with him.

Outside my flower shop two figures were standing waiting for me.

One outline bigger than the other, the smallest leaning towards the shop wall I knew just who it was before I could see them clearly. I greeted them with a smile and locked up the door. They followed me without a word.

"I've been watering and tending to the plants, somewhat…"

"But it's the dust."

Choji interrupted before I came too it and Shikamaru sneezed.

"Are you sure it's safe for you to be here?"

I let out a heartfelt chuckle. Always so concerned about everyone else. I knew that even without a father this child would grow up to be very well taken care of. I assumed that Shikamaru told him even before she had washed up or even changed into a dry sweater for that matter.

"I hope you'll always be here to take care of me."

It was a worry I've had ever since we were made a team that I would ever lose one of them and the worry hadn't gone away with the war. If anything it had made it worse.

"I'll always be here to take care of my friends. I'm sorry for neglecting you, I very much want to be part of your life."

He was looking at my stomach and I placed a hand over it. I wanted them to be part of everything, everything from cleaning dust to thinking of names.

It was decided the very next day after I ran into Shikamaru. Itachi wouldn't know a thing. He didn't need to, he had made it clear that he hadn't wanted a child and I wouldn't go against his wishes. It wasn't as I had wanted one either, but t was more difficult for me not to take responsibility.

"Too bad you don't know the father."

Shikamaru was looking away. The less who knew my secret was better.

"I mean, it could… it's…"

He stopped me from coming up with some lie, I was just stuttering from being put on the spot like that. How was I supposed to find out an excuse for not knowing who the father was? I wasn't that easy.

"I won't judge you. I'm actually looking forward to it, how far along are you?"

I had known I was pregnant when I walked home from breakfast. It was like a jolt shooting through my body and I could feel it. I could feel that a life had just been created and I had walked straight to Asuma's grave sitting there for hours until nightfall and when Shikamaru came.

I hadn't needed any test to confirm it, but I took one a few days later. It came out positive. Positive, all three of them. It was still early, it was still uncertain.

"Almost two weeks."

Choji nodded, he had hoped I would say months rather than months. I felt Shikamaru hit my leg with what appeared to be a broom.

"Are we cleaning or conversing?"